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Never thought they would actually send..

Mum was walking up the stairs and fri) .
Pornhub decided ta freeze, I had no ether I. heard about Ur Thanks @Pornhub for the brand new
amine. tit tit it
recent tragedy, an we' re ending u a brand
new we for being a legal fan tink it out laptop, I really appreciate it, st' er.
RETWEETS
I Dame! it e Fallow Pornhub ARIA t) 2!. Failure: Doitzel '5' "
...
+1501
Views: 46069
Favorited: 78
Submitted: 04/23/2015
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[ 128 comments ]
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77 comments displayed.
Reply
+452
User avatar #2 - hashtronaut (04/23/2015) [-]
the laptop probably films him fapping then automatically uploads to pornhub
Reply
+18
#59 to #2 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
The most important hing is he has a new computer. And PornHub present him. Lucky guy.
Reply
+165
#5 to #2 - anon (04/23/2015) [-]
Honestly my biggest fetish is watching myself masturbate
Reply
+669
User avatar #6 to #5 - cptcanada (04/23/2015) [-]
that is some grade a narcissism
Reply
+79
#16 to #6 - lwinsanity (04/24/2015) [-]
And a little impressive.
Reply
+8
User avatar #51 to #6 - eldorito (04/24/2015) [-]
maybe, but the weiner wants what the weiner wants.
Reply
+1
User avatar #46 to #6 - rainbowrush ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
You mean it's not normal?
Reply
+1
#14 to #6 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
Yea its a lil ****** up but It's not the worst fetish I've heard of
Reply
+9
#32 to #14 - therealhodor ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
At least it's not a fetish towards your own flaccid penis
Reply
+1
User avatar #66 to #32 - theherooftimes (04/24/2015) [-]
how would that even work?
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+3
#85 to #66 - draaaaiven (04/24/2015) [-]
Probably like a harmonic oscillator. Expanding it makes the force solidifying your dick go away -> your penis becomes flaccid again -> force starts kicking in again -> dick becomes harder again -> ad infinitum.
Reply
+1
User avatar #119 to #85 - quoterox (04/24/2015) [-]
WE FOUND RENEWABLE ENERGY, BOYS

Cmon, therealhodor, start staring at your dick, and we'll hook up the cables.
Reply
0
User avatar #72 to #66 - wallbuilder ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
It doesn't.
Reply
+55
User avatar #15 to #5 - mystacheisop (04/24/2015) [-]
Kanye?
Reply
+9
User avatar #25 to #5 - feindmachines (04/24/2015) [-]
ok kayne you can't fool us, we know it's you.
Reply
+2
#31 to #5 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Reply
0
User avatar #107 to #5 - teratorn (04/24/2015) [-]
I used to take pictures of me wearing woman clothes and masturbate at it. Not my proudest moments...
Reply
+35
#76 to #2 - merrymarvelite (04/24/2015) [-]
That's what happens when you don't cover the built in webcam with a small piece of electrical tape.
Reply
+100
#54 - grimmwaters (04/24/2015) [-]
>Smashes laptop
>The sound keeps playing
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+1
User avatar #118 to #54 - ohmytoast (04/24/2015) [-]
Smash it harder
Reply
+18
#55 to #54 - anoyingmos (04/24/2015) [-]
out the window it goes
Reply
+55
#53 - samoaspider (04/24/2015) [-]
"Hey son, you have a package" "Ah sweet, from who?" "umm... it says "from pornhub" on the box"
"Hey son, you have a package"

"Ah sweet, from who?"

"umm... it says "from pornhub" on the box"
Reply
+88
#35 - phudgepacker ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
wow he really beat that laptop up. the guy must be a real jerk . good thing pornhub's PR team isn't a bunch of wankers. the new laptop came just in time. he didnt have to blow a load of money on a new laptop thanks to pornhub. i'd really love to meat the people who were behind this, they single handedly made this guys day
wow he really beat that laptop up. the guy must be a real jerk . good thing pornhub's PR team isn't a bunch of wankers. the new laptop came just in time. he didnt have to blow a load of money on a new laptop thanks to pornhub. i'd really love to meat the people who were behind this, they single handedly made this guys day
Reply
0
User avatar #113 to #35 - reedstoess (04/24/2015) [-]
what movie is that from? i cant remember the name
Reply
0
User avatar #115 to #113 - abearwithagun (04/24/2015) [-]
hot fuzz. on a side note it was recently added to netflix.
Reply
0
User avatar #122 to #35 - wtfduud (04/24/2015) [-]
Is that Gary Oldman?
Reply
+2
#105 to #35 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
Comment Picture
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+50
User avatar #37 to #35 - guardianatreyu ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
penis
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+82
#38 to #37 - phudgepacker ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
the cycle is complete
the cycle is complete
Reply
+45
User avatar #17 - funi (04/24/2015) [-]
I mean, it entirely depends on what porn you were looking at.

Its one thing to try and explain yourself jerking it off to vanilla **** , but if someone sees incest rape cub watersports yiff on your screen, its either kill the computer or kill yourself.
Reply
+11
User avatar #43 to #17 - advice (04/24/2015) [-]
>incest rape cub watersports yiff
not already moving onto incest rape cub mountainclimbing yiff
Reply
+203
#4 - skyrimdovah (04/23/2015) [-]
You could've just taken out the battery, or ******* shut it....
You could've just taken out the battery, or ******* shut it....
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-3
#96 to #4 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
you see its about the free laptop
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-4
#45 to #4 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
Some laptops have non-removable batteries, and windows 8 doesn't shut down no matter how hard you press the power button.
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+8
User avatar #61 to #45 - overlordnick ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
Pretty much all PCs (that includes macs and tablets) are built to power down when you hold the power button, otherwise it would be impossible to reboot them in the event of a software problem, the operating system has nothing to do with it.
And I only say "pretty much" instead off all is that someone will inevitably point out the one device in existence that doesn't do that.
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+17
User avatar #63 to #45 - cantexplain ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
It's still a laptop. You could literally shut it
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+1
User avatar #104 to #63 - broswagonist (04/24/2015) [-]
It doesn't go to sleep instantly. it tends to take about 5-10 seconds between you putting the lid down and the sound ceasing, and that's if your laptop isn't a bit ****** like mine and ignores that and keeps going.
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+1
#18 to #4 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
sound always continues on for a while when closing a laptop, not all laptop batteries are easily removable
Reply
+1
#52 to #18 - trevanman (04/24/2015) [-]
press the power button for a few seconds
put in earphones/don't turn up your sound all the way when using earphones
Reply
+1
User avatar #21 to #18 - kevinenter (04/24/2015) [-]
In addition, some laptop batteries can't be removed at all. Also if it was frozen, closing it might not have worked.
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0
#97 to #18 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
Sound continues when you smash the ******* screen. He obviously didn't give a **** about sound, you ******** .
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+3
User avatar #9 to #4 - rogaa (04/23/2015) [-]
eh, some people have huge panick attacks like that and they dont see any other choice other than what they're thinking at the moment, in this case punching the screen
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+6
User avatar #28 to #4 - fyaq (04/24/2015) [-]
Or gotten a free laptop from a porn site.

I think his option worked out better.
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-4
User avatar #49 to #28 - warioteam (04/24/2015) [-]
do you think they actually gave him a ******* laptop
Reply
+3
User avatar #87 to #49 - fyaq (04/24/2015) [-]
theres pictures.

they say heres a free laptop, he posts a picture of his free laptop.

are you that ******* stupid?
Reply
+37
User avatar #3 - ihearcolors ONLINE (04/23/2015) [-]
It cums preloaded with a terabyte of porn.
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0
#8 to #3 - anon (04/23/2015) [-]
That would be really cool of them, especially if it's in HD since most of Pornhub Network isn't.
Reply
+101
#1 - dethmaul (04/23/2015) [-]
Or you could man up and ignore her instead of being a homo.
Reply
0
#7 to #1 - anon (04/23/2015) [-]
That took me a minute
Reply
+22
User avatar #10 - snafus (04/23/2015) [-]
Could have called it a faptop in the tweet. Missed opportunity
Reply
+37
#29 - cymrru (04/24/2015) [-]
His FW when he sees all the porn they put on there for him
His FW when he sees all the porn they put on there for him
Reply
+16
User avatar #39 - mrnpc (04/24/2015) [-]
Bet he uses Adblock on their site
Reply
+9
#98 - myjunk ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
3/10 they didn't actually put on the stickers
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+17
#60 - sunsfarbror (04/24/2015) [-]
And he writes about it on a ******* twitter.
And he writes about it on a ******* twitter.
Reply
+8
#84 - randomsnail (04/24/2015) [-]
**randomsnail used "*roll picture*"**
**randomsnail rolled image** this is only mildly doubtful, am inclined to believe
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0
User avatar #128 to #84 - hoevelbro (04/26/2015) [-]
Please! Need all of the sauce!
Reply
+1
#120 to #84 - rollfourexplain (04/24/2015) [-]
**rollfourexplain used "*roll 1, 0-9999*"**
**rollfourexplain rolls 0,365**

That was hilarious. I've seen a gif of parts of that scene but the audio just takes the cake! holy crap this is the best! I've got to watch this! What show is it?
Reply
+4
User avatar #108 to #84 - iphoneguy ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
Reply
+15
#40 - piratedangel (04/24/2015) [-]
Where are all the stickers?
Where are all the stickers?
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-3
#93 to #40 - sanitarysan ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
cute
Reply
+6
#48 - kingdaniel ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
Just close the laptop.
Just close the laptop.
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-2
User avatar #67 to #48 - toncheky ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
Have you ever had a laptop? Very often the sound doesn't stop.
Reply
+2
User avatar #78 to #67 - deadlyfoez (04/24/2015) [-]
Smashing the screen certainly wont stop the sound either.
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0
User avatar #79 to #78 - toncheky ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
Obviously not just the screen smashed.
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+10
#13 - anon (04/24/2015) [-]
WHY DIDNT YOU CLOSE THE ******* LAPTOP
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+2
User avatar #23 to #13 - kevinenter (04/24/2015) [-]
The laptop was frozen. Closing it may very well have not made the sound stop.
Reply
0
#24 to #23 - swiftshadow (04/24/2015) [-]
popping the batter would though.
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0
User avatar #58 to #24 - kevinenter (04/24/2015) [-]
If he was able to. Not all laptops have easily removable batteries. Some need to be unscrewed and some can't be removed at all
Reply
+5
User avatar #88 - technobanana (04/24/2015) [-]
How to get a free laptop
1)Break your laptop
2)Use an age old joke about watching porn and your mother walking in
3)Post it on twitter and mention porn hub
4) Wait
5)Get sent a new laptop!
6)???
7)Profit!
Reply
+5
User avatar #90 to #88 - blueboysixnine (04/24/2015) [-]
Isnt the laptop the profit?
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+3
User avatar #91 to #90 - technobanana (04/24/2015) [-]
Technically but ya know... shh
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+4
User avatar #86 - smokekusheveryday (04/24/2015) [-]
And you could have just closed the ******* lid to your labtop?
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0
#89 to #86 - gosox (04/24/2015) [-]
Hahahahahahaha
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+1
User avatar #95 to #86 - geofalke ONLINE (04/24/2015) [-]
if a page freezes, closing the lid may not stop the sound from playing. I have a mid-upper tier ASUS and it still plays sounds even when it's closed and in "sleep" mode
Reply
+2
User avatar #65 - alekksandar (04/24/2015) [-]
not just closing the lid
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