Nerdy Jokes. . KNOCK KNOCK. WHO' S THERE? WHO? NO, TO WHOM. WHEN I WAS A KID, Mt ENGLISH TEACHER LOOKED MY WAY Mil SAID, "NAME TWO PRONOUNS.' DID too HEAR ABOUT
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Nerdy Jokes

KNOCK KNOCK.
WHO' S THERE?
WHO?
NO, TO WHOM.
WHEN I WAS A KID, Mt
ENGLISH TEACHER LOOKED MY WAY
Mil SAID, "NAME TWO PRONOUNS.'
DID too HEAR ABOUT THE MAN WHO NT
COOLED TO ABSOLUTE ZERO? HE' S OK NOW.
SCHRODINGER' S CAT WALKS INTO A BAR AND DOESN' T.
HELIUM WALKS INTO A BAR AND
A BEER. THE BARTENDER SAYS,
SORRY, WE DON' T SERVE NOBLE GASES
HERE." HE DOESN' T REACT.
HOW MANY SURREALISTS DOES IT TAKE
TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB? A FISH.
YOUR MOTHER IS SO CLASSLESS,
SHE COULD BE A MARXIST UTOPIA.
THEY SAY A FREUDIAN SLIP IS WHEN
too SAT ONE THING. BUT too REALLY
MEAN YOUR MOTHER.
WHAT DO too CALL TWO CROWS ON A
BRANCH? ATTEMPTED MURDER.
WHAT DO too SAY WHEN YOU' RE
COMFORTING h GRAMMAR NAZI?
THERE, THEIR. THEY' RE...
SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM
SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM BATMAN!
WHAT DO too GET WHEN
Toll CROSS A JOKE WITH A
RHETORICAL CUESTION?
IT' S HARD Til EXPLAIN PUNS TO
KLEPTOMANIACS BECAUSE THEY
ALWAYS TAKE THINGS LITERALLY.
C. E FLAT, AND G WALK WTO A BAR. TIE
BARTENDER SAYS, "SORRY. NO MINORS"
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT
ROOT BEE! IN A NONE GLASS?
BEER
A BIOLOGIST, h CHEMIST, AND
h STATISTICIAN ARE OUT HUNTING.
THE BIOLOGIST SHOOTS AT h DEER
AND MISSES SH TO THE LEFT, THE
CHEMIST TAKES h SHOT AND MISSES
FFT TO THE RIGHT. THE STATISTICIAN
YELLS "WE GOT EM!"
A PHOTON CHECKS INTO A HOTEL AND THE
DEMO? ASKS HIM IF HE HAS Mt LUGGAGE
THE PHOTON IMPLIES "NO I' M TRAVELING UGHT'
DESCARTES WALKS INTO A BAR.
THE BARTENDER ASKS F HE WANTS A DRINKS.
I THINK NOT," DESCARTES SAYS.
AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS.
...
+1031
Views: 34460
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Submitted: 09/04/2014
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Comments(138):

[ 138 comments ]

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#9 - badmonkey ONLINE (09/04/2014) [+] (11 replies)
Spilled root beer, square is two dimentional you pretentious ****
#55 - deathchain (09/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #4 - paradoxrocks ONLINE (09/04/2014) [+] (10 replies)
does anybody else hate/are tired of the chemical symbol jokes? I feel like it's a bunch people circle jerking to how smart they think they are because they know that Sodium is represented by Na or even worse when they combine a bunch of elements (that wouldn't form a compound) to make words.
#3 - TheJackle (09/04/2014) [+] (1 reply)
*pretentious jokes
*pretentious jokes
User avatar #10 - thinkwithportals (09/04/2014) [+] (8 replies)
But 1023MB is 1.023GB....
User avatar #12 to #10 - tittylovin (09/04/2014) [-]
Because of the way binary or something works, not quite.
One gig is about 1024 megabytes if I recall correctly.
#38 - squidgy ONLINE (09/05/2014) [-]
> Early grey tea   
   
I am British and this causes me intense physical pain
> Early grey tea

I am British and this causes me intense physical pain
User avatar #20 - rhetoricalfunny (09/04/2014) [+] (1 reply)
People are so dumb for finding puns funny

Am I cool yet guys?
User avatar #48 - schnickelfritz ONLINE (09/05/2014) [+] (2 replies)
What is Beethoven doing in hin grave? He's decomposing

i leave now
#58 - domefige (09/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks them "would all of you like a drink." The first logician says "I don't know." The second also says "I don't know." The third says "yes."
#32 - joekerr (09/04/2014) [+] (5 replies)
As if statisticians didn't now about standard derivation.
User avatar #34 to #32 - jammythemadman (09/05/2014) [-]
*deviation, ******* .
User avatar #23 - subaqueousreach (09/04/2014) [-]
I had a french substitute who thought he was clever as hell.

He asked the class "What does 'Je ne sais pas' mean?" and pointed to me "You there."

I said "I don't know." and his response was "That's exactly right!"

I was never more confused than I was for those few seconds until I understood what he did.
User avatar #11 - tittylovin (09/04/2014) [+] (4 replies)
DURR I FEEL SMART FOR LIKING THIS JOKES
LOOK AT ME THUMB IT THAT MEANS I GOT IT AND AM BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE
#16 to #11 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/04/2014) [-]
Someone didn't get the jokes.
#94 - robinwilliamson (09/05/2014) [+] (4 replies)
>atoms make up everything
This one ******* bothers me, because it's not your ordinary wrong, it's like obscenely way off.
Atoms make up a majority of matter, that's cool. Except that only accounts for 4% of everything. That is a lot of **** to check out. I mean imagine that, pretty much everything we see is a tiny part of what all is there.
User avatar #76 - mamaluweegee ONLINE (09/05/2014) [+] (8 replies)
Can someone explain the last one to me...

iamnotacleverman.jpg
User avatar #77 to #76 - Mecuniv ONLINE (09/05/2014) [-]
He is clever for the quote, "I think, therefore, I am."
#51 - whatyougot (09/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
But 1023 Megabytes would still be multiple GigaBITS   
(it should be Mb not MB)
But 1023 Megabytes would still be multiple GigaBITS
(it should be Mb not MB)
User avatar #98 - puut (09/05/2014) [+] (2 replies)
A good chemist and a bad chemist walk into a bar. The good chemist orders H20. The bad chemist then orders H20 too...
#114 - viviannjames (09/05/2014) [-]
I would not trust this biologist.
User avatar #134 - butiloveu (09/05/2014) [-]
C, E flat and G walk into a bar

and the bartender says: “Sorry we don’t serve minors”, so E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

Not mine, I'm not even a music geek but I poorly understand it .
#128 - fourchinsbrah (09/05/2014) [-]
mfw i actually understood most of those
mfw i actually understood most of those
#126 - languagexplain (09/05/2014) [-]
Bless this post.
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