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Natural selection

Russian Man Claiming To Have Stab Pram‘ Abs is Stabbed And J, ,
The eacher at the heme get a my hitcher knife and asured his guest ta stat? him in the stc: ma:: h. He
refused at that, saying he was afraid he the hast. " lia! l! the that said that in his
h' trollr' abh he L-‘ I. -"35 !hmar' allele in martial arts and the knife ! not w, his abs.
His friend is nu: -w being chargers with causing ' i' i[ harm and COLIN face up to eight years It jail
...
+1602
Views: 58353
Favorited: 92
Submitted: 08/14/2015
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[ 157 comments ]
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83 comments displayed.
Reply
-8
#83 to #18 - anon (08/15/2015) [-]
gha gha gha gha. loling hard
Reply
+16
User avatar #93 to #83 - shieeetposter (08/15/2015) [-]
Who the hell laughs like that
Reply
+7
#121 to #93 - asongulol (08/15/2015) [-]
The norwegian male supermodel!
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+50
User avatar #45 to #5 - allthelolz (08/14/2015) [-]
Finally a weapon to rise above the Metal Gear
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+137
#47 to #45 - sladee (08/15/2015) [-]
Surpass*
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+34
User avatar #53 to #47 - allthelolz (08/15/2015) [-]
I'll take my red thumbs with honor
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+8
#74 to #45 - anon (08/15/2015) [-]
I don't know how you could screw that quote up so badly.
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+10
User avatar #78 to #74 - allthelolz (08/15/2015) [-]
Because I'm obviously a ******* pleb
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+43
User avatar #7 to #5 - greensofa (08/14/2015) [-]
Why not captain russia?
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+345
#34 to #17 - billybobbobobby (08/14/2015) [-]
In case anyone secretly wanted this
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+20
#55 to #34 - binomancha (08/15/2015) [-]
**binomancha used "*roll picture*"**
**binomancha rolled image**
ill stab those abs with this
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0
#149 to #79 - thetrapkiller (08/15/2015) [-]
That would hurt like hell! Even Soldier has a right to fear!
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+15
#51 to #34 - anon (08/15/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**I'd ship it to Stan Lee
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+18
#52 to #51 - anon (08/15/2015) [-]
disregard that pic. Just a bad roll.
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+14
#36 to #17 - fuzzywussi (08/14/2015) [-]
rad photoshop skills
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+6
#62 to #17 - streetshark (08/15/2015) [-]
Sir Absolut is Sweedish vodka.

Source: I sell that **** .
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+1
User avatar #63 to #62 - billybobbobobby (08/15/2015) [-]
See comment #27
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+1
#72 to #63 - streetshark (08/15/2015) [-]
I just wanted to feel important...
+1
#32 to #17 - billybobbobobby has deleted their comment [-]
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0
User avatar #22 to #17 - bjornkrage (08/14/2015) [-]
Absolut? That, my friend, is way too fine for a russian. Unless it has the letters "off" as in poliakoff or karloff, it is not a true slavic vodka.
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+9
User avatar #27 to #22 - billybobbobobby (08/14/2015) [-]
Git yer Soviet factoids out my goddamn face, you commie bastard #USA #Freedom #Merica

But in all seriousness, thanks for your input! I'll make sure to do a bit of research before I inevitably make more country-specific stereotypes. Turns out Absolut is from Sweden, which, if I remember any geography from high school, is not Russia
Reply
+2
User avatar #57 to #22 - godisbert (08/15/2015) [-]
Cheapest (Therefore best) Vodka where I live costs about $2.30 dollars a bottle (1L), and its called Balalaika. It tastes like poison and bad decisions.
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0
#88 to #57 - araell (08/15/2015) [-]
here is is vodka Dragon, and its about 2 dolars. When you drink it, you have 50:50 chance you will never see again.
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0
#152 to #17 - borkalorka (08/15/2015) [-]
B-b-but... Absolut Vodka is Swedish...
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0
User avatar #153 to #152 - billybobbobobby (08/15/2015) [-]
See comment #27, as well as the other four people who have pointed this out
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0
#157 to #153 - borkalorka (08/15/2015) [-]
i don't use fj often sorry m69-61
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0
#136 to #17 - blevs (08/15/2015) [-]
should have used a russian brand vodka
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0
User avatar #145 to #136 - billybobbobobby (08/15/2015) [-]
See comment #27
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0
User avatar #124 to #17 - ompalomper (08/15/2015) [-]
absolut is originally a swedish brand
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0
User avatar #146 to #124 - billybobbobobby (08/15/2015) [-]
See comment #27
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0
User avatar #114 to #17 - accolgate (08/15/2015) [-]
Absolut vodka is from sweden
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0
User avatar #147 to #114 - billybobbobobby (08/15/2015) [-]
See comment #27
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+75
#13 to #7 - pickaxe (08/14/2015) [-]
because of this
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+19
#19 to #13 - vladi (08/14/2015) [-]
Looks like a muscled fat transexual with boobs .
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+809
User avatar #2 - nerdkoopa (08/14/2015) [-]
He forgot to build up tolerance to knives by starting from butter knives.
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0
User avatar #151 to #2 - obeyweegee (08/15/2015) [-]
you see ivan...
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+77
#61 - Thebiggeorgy (08/15/2015) [-]
BRO-LEE
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0
#66 to #61 - anon (08/15/2015) [-]
that dick
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+1
User avatar #91 to #61 - trolliosis ONLINE (08/15/2015) [-]
Neat
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+2
#84 to #61 - anon (08/15/2015) [-]
His power is maximum
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+6
User avatar #81 to #61 - ILIEKPEPSEE (08/15/2015) [-]
KAAAAAKAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT
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+232
#25 - echobase (08/14/2015) [-]
My protein milkshakes are too strong for you traveler
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+196
#8 - tredbear (08/14/2015) [-]
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+114
User avatar #31 - exarzero (08/14/2015) [-]
He asked the guy to do it... and yet the dudes going to jail.



Could they not of just put... the tip in?
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+1
User avatar #85 to #31 - infinitereaper ONLINE (08/15/2015) [-]
such is the justice system
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-1
User avatar #101 to #85 - exarzero (08/15/2015) [-]
True enough.

Then again, maybe the stabber was a little bit over zealous since he didn't go in slow...

He stabbed the **** outta him.
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0
#108 to #101 - skebaba (08/15/2015) [-]
Well, the guy said that his abs are stab-proof, so that would mean no matter how fast you stab them, they'd be proofed against stabs.
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+1
User avatar #142 to #108 - exarzero (08/15/2015) [-]
I feel like real logic should go into that a little though.

Like... "maybe this guy is an idiot. Squishy human flesh is not stab proof"
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+1
User avatar #105 to #31 - imalex (08/15/2015) [-]
its fake
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+4
#132 to #31 - fjlawyer (08/15/2015) [-]
Incase anyone's curious... you can't consent in law to an act that is against public policy.

There are various exceptions, such as in sports, from boxing to football, but stabbing is grave and criminal assault, and even a signed legally sound contract stating consent would not be a valid defence in a court of law.

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+3
User avatar #134 to #132 - lorinthium ONLINE (08/15/2015) [-]
that sounds about right but wouldn't the stabbed man have to be the one to ask for a trial? I didn't think anyone else had the right to convict the friend accept the offended party.
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+1
User avatar #156 to #134 - fjlawyer (08/15/2015) [-]
Dropping charges is no more than a persuasive action. It is up to the state to decide to prosecute or not. An act against public policy such as this would not go unpunished even if the victim were to request to drop the charges.
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-1
User avatar #141 to #132 - exarzero (08/15/2015) [-]
Unless a Doctor does it! All I need is a degree!

Yeah, point was just why the hell did he full on stab the guy.
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+3
User avatar #155 to #141 - fjlawyer (08/15/2015) [-]
There's a rigorous test for defending assault or battery against a doctor.

The victim must have lacked capacity, been unable to make the decision and it must have been in their best interest. So even a doctor would not be able to defend himself in a court of law.
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-1
User avatar #158 to #155 - exarzero (08/15/2015) [-]
I meant in surgery. Joking, sorry.
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+36
User avatar #16 - herohavoc (08/14/2015) [-]
He looks like a Character you can make in ARK
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+74
User avatar #6 - aizeinstein (08/14/2015) [-]
That's not ony a Russian. That's a B2 Super Battle Dimitri.
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+27
User avatar #35 - demandsgayversion (08/14/2015) [-]
"You could not handle my knives, traveler"
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+21
#33 - stormthinker (08/14/2015) [-]
tank top master is real!!!
Reply
+6
#42 to #33 - nagafever (08/14/2015) [-]
**nagafever used "*roll picture*"**
**nagafever rolled image** Tank top master got rekt as **** .
Reply
+18
#1 - funnyhard (08/14/2015) [-]
So who's more ****** up in the head: the stabber or the stabbed one?
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0
User avatar #112 to #1 - mrsixinch (08/15/2015) [-]
"Who is more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?"
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+5
#40 to #1 - anon (08/14/2015) [-]
Definitely the stabbed, the stabber was risking jail while the stabbed risked life.

But If I where to judge I would expel both from the gene pool.
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+12
#3 - denniswilles (08/14/2015) [-]
He looks like handsome Squidward.. just not handsome.
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+3
User avatar #4 to #3 - denniswilles (08/14/2015) [-]
That's the wrong picture but I like it better. It's not like anybody reads this **** anyway
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+9
User avatar #43 - anotherhaloguy (08/14/2015) [-]
"I shifted my internal organs to avoid the knife"
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+19
#15 - englman (08/14/2015) [-]
Natural Selection all around in this case. Cloud-Dumbo shouldn't be so stupid as to think he's "stronger" than metal, Stabby-Dumbo should know better than to stab clouds, and I'm not exactly sure Stabby-Dumbo deserves 8 years from Lawyer-Dumbo since clouds can't die..

Dumbos everywhere.
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+8
User avatar #71 - leonhardt (08/15/2015) [-]
I'm all for lifting and being healthy and strong.

but once you start looking like a ******* cartoon character, maybe you should slow the **** down on the free weights.
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0
User avatar #92 to #71 - xgeneration (08/15/2015) [-]
what if they wanna be a cartoon character
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0
User avatar #94 to #92 - leonhardt (08/15/2015) [-]
More power to them.
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+8
User avatar #23 - dingdongz (08/14/2015) [-]
its like duke nukem ate johnny bravo and then did even more roids
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+5
#104 - thelastelephant ONLINE (08/15/2015) [-]
He looks like a Ken doll after a steroid cocktail
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+4
#82 - teabaggerswagger (08/15/2015) [-]
**** it, hes the machine He'll be fine
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