My dad senses are tingling!
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102 comments displayed.
#4
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ldnelson (05/13/2015) [-] 
Get these Spiderman pictures out of here Parker! You get me pictures of that man for tomorrow's front page or don't bother coming into my office!
#77 to #75
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MDrDeathC (05/14/2015) [-]
I hope not, or else they'll think I was referring to enjoying both of his actual thumbs rather than pointing out that he only has +2 at the moment. I mean, neither are comedic gold, but at least one is contextual and appropriate while the other just sounds like that snotty jackass in the back of the class that spins his pencil constantly in an effort to seem somehow superior.
#117 to #76
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realfunnybro (05/14/2015) [-] man!!!!!! outa no where!!!!!! like a slide tackle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sik mun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#19 to #18
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distortedflare ONLINE (05/14/2015) [-] Dad sense it is just a built in feeling dudes have.
#7
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partycats (05/13/2015) [-]
She better have put those kids to bed and ****** his brains out for that god tier catch.
#181 to #7
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ddoggdiggity (05/14/2015) [-] With those many kids they are prolly just gonna make another kid he has to rescue
#125 to #7
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alexxander (05/14/2015) [-] I disagree, vaginal sex is something that both parts enjoy. I don't think we should empower women like that by seeing it as a reward. A blowjob would be more appropriate
#9 to #7
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bennybroseph ONLINE (05/13/2015) [-] They're married, so maybe next year if he's really lucky they will.
#12
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gleb ONLINE (05/14/2015) [-]
I keep watching it and it keeps getting more unbelievable... like how did he even, what?
#14 to #12
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infinitereaper (05/14/2015) [-] I was going to guess the wife made a sound but the only things I can think of are either, he felt the baby push down before falling and assumed what happened, or hes looking at a reflective surface like a TV and just happened to notice while it was happening.
#6
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micekill (05/13/2015) [-]
>be in line for bus
>woman in front of me looses bag
>being a nice guy i reach to catch it
>she does so too
>slap her hand away while trying to catch her bag was an accident
>bag falls
>"s-s-sory"
i have the good reflexes, ya?
i looked like such an asshole tho
>woman in front of me looses bag
>being a nice guy i reach to catch it
>she does so too
>slap her hand away while trying to catch her bag was an accident
>bag falls
>"s-s-sory"
i have the good reflexes, ya?
i looked like such an asshole tho
#93
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bwiedieter (05/14/2015) [-] My dad-save story:
Be 7-8 years old
Be at a country fair with my dad and another 8 y/o friend of mine
Want a bratwurst so bad, I´m so hungry, and my Dad buys me one
Dad goes off to meet a buddy of his at a stand ~50 m away
Gobble up the bratwurst like I hadn´t eaten in ages
Last piece is about 6 cm long, want to gulp it down in one piece
Have to cough mid-swallow
Have a 6 cm long piece of bratwurst firmly lodged in my trachea, closing it off perfectly
****** .jpg
Eyes turn wide, veins on my head nearly explode
I panic, try so desperately to breathe, only dragging the damned wurst further down
I had never experienced this inability to breathe before, I fumble and claw at my throat
So desperately tried to do something that it looks like I have an epileptic seizure from the outside
An eternity passes, none of the other adults approach me and try to do anything to help me. Everyone just stared at me.
Things are getting pretty dark now, I can´t hear anymore due to ringing in my ears
Dad sees the commotion, sprints towards us - I couldn´t see him though
He violently picks me up via my feet, dangling me upside down
And then he ******* karate-chops me in the neck
Bratwurst flies out of my throat, lands pretty far away
air, oh god there is finally air again, I breathe like a fish taken out of the water, in huge gulps
And that´s the story how my dad saved my life by karate-chopping me in the neck while dangling me upside down.
Be 7-8 years old
Be at a country fair with my dad and another 8 y/o friend of mine
Want a bratwurst so bad, I´m so hungry, and my Dad buys me one
Dad goes off to meet a buddy of his at a stand ~50 m away
Gobble up the bratwurst like I hadn´t eaten in ages
Last piece is about 6 cm long, want to gulp it down in one piece
Have to cough mid-swallow
Have a 6 cm long piece of bratwurst firmly lodged in my trachea, closing it off perfectly
****** .jpg
Eyes turn wide, veins on my head nearly explode
I panic, try so desperately to breathe, only dragging the damned wurst further down
I had never experienced this inability to breathe before, I fumble and claw at my throat
So desperately tried to do something that it looks like I have an epileptic seizure from the outside
An eternity passes, none of the other adults approach me and try to do anything to help me. Everyone just stared at me.
Things are getting pretty dark now, I can´t hear anymore due to ringing in my ears
Dad sees the commotion, sprints towards us - I couldn´t see him though
He violently picks me up via my feet, dangling me upside down
And then he ******* karate-chops me in the neck
Bratwurst flies out of my throat, lands pretty far away
air, oh god there is finally air again, I breathe like a fish taken out of the water, in huge gulps
And that´s the story how my dad saved my life by karate-chopping me in the neck while dangling me upside down.
#98 to #96
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bwiedieter (05/14/2015) [-]
Yes. There will be a written test at the end to see how well you memorized each sentence.
#57
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iliekcereal (05/14/2015) [-] baby's like 2 months old and already trying to snap it's neck goddamn they grow up fast
#39
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leonhardt (05/14/2015) [-] I feel like that's one of the few dad things that I would enjoy
Sitting with my kids in a pile and watching TV and doing *******
Of course you could do that with friends but they're a lot bigger than kids and your legs fall asleep if they sit on them for too long.
Sitting with my kids in a pile and watching TV and doing *******
Of course you could do that with friends but they're a lot bigger than kids and your legs fall asleep if they sit on them for too long.
#160 to #39
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sphincterface (05/14/2015) [-] I get what you're saying though. Just something about it would make it much more special when you're doing that with your kids. I hope I will get to do this when I am a dad.
#28 to #10
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mymiddleleg (05/14/2015) [-] Maybe they have a maid or nanny they don't 100% trust or just for general security
#16
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ADeadlYLepricoN (05/14/2015) [-] They actually both made impressive saves. The mom grabbed the kids thigh, too.
That kid will never hit the ground with those parents. ever. It won't ever even scrape a knee.
That kid will never hit the ground with those parents. ever. It won't ever even scrape a knee.
#172 to #16
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elcreepo ONLINE (05/14/2015) [-] Trust me, it will.
Even the best of parents can't stop a two year old from being a two year old all the time.
Toddlers are forever doing things that'd injure an adult and walking away with minimal damage. When I got hit in the head by a swing my much older brother was on, I got less than five stitches and had no concussion despite being forcibly flung back at least twice my own body length.
Kids are ******* tough man, they have to be... because like it or not they're gonna escape their parents and do something retarded like run behind a swingset with someone on it. Also the sheer amount of falling down required in learning to walk. Watching a one year old face plant is just hilarious when you know it isn't hurt and is just going to get right back up and keep going.
Even the best of parents can't stop a two year old from being a two year old all the time.
Toddlers are forever doing things that'd injure an adult and walking away with minimal damage. When I got hit in the head by a swing my much older brother was on, I got less than five stitches and had no concussion despite being forcibly flung back at least twice my own body length.
Kids are ******* tough man, they have to be... because like it or not they're gonna escape their parents and do something retarded like run behind a swingset with someone on it. Also the sheer amount of falling down required in learning to walk. Watching a one year old face plant is just hilarious when you know it isn't hurt and is just going to get right back up and keep going.
