So here's the story of my first lift, done a few months ago.
>Be me, 17
>Have a crappy car from parents, but having fun with driving freedom
>Stumble across a reddit post on stealing YuGiOh cards, with thousands of dollars worth stolen and such
>Decide to try shoplifting myself, as I've previously never been to a big chain store alone (and thus with parents I couldn't even attempt it.)
>Plan to go into the store, open a few of the cardboard boosters and slip the actual boosters in my pocket next to my wallet.
>Also bring money to fully cover cost in case I was caught.
>Go into store, but have to go to the bathroom. (Also avoiding the obvious "go into the bathroom with merchandise scam.")
>After bathroom I realize I need a cart, so I have to awkwardly walk back to the entrance to grab a cart.
>Card wall has mostly boring stuff, but something catches my eye.
>A single, lonely Magic The Gathering Gatecrash Booster Battle Pack
>It's ten dollars for two boosters, as well as some crappy commons and basic lands.
>They sell terribly because of the ******
>It catches my eye because It's the only product from that era (I saw a few Dragon's Maze boosters, but 90% of the Magic product was this year with Theros block and M14)
>Decide to grab it, since I know the packaging can be split and I can put each half in each pocket.
>Also grab a current booster pack and a deck.
>head over to sports section to crack my loot.
>Much louder than I expected, had to leave it there several times because of paranoia.
>after opening, realize that each set of cards+booster is stuck to a piece of cardboard, so more sound and time risked.
>Grab the Gruul pack first because it was closer, but before I could get the Boros one, an enormously loud alarm/beep went off
>Nearly had a heart attack right there and then
>decide to ditch the other pack because I already had some loot, despite knowing the alarm/beep isn't probably for me.
>As I'm leaving the area I swear I could hear an employee snooping around.
>head back to the card section of the store and "sadly" put the deck back, like I didn't have enough money
>Go to checkout with a single booster in a big cart, looking conspicuous as ****
>It's only the first week of June, but it's burning hot outside AND I'm wearing my hoodie like I always do, so I'm half drowning in sweat.
>Trust in my natural charm and politeness to pull me through.
>Cashier rings me up and hands me the small bag with the booster I bought.
>We're both smiling and happy, her because I'm just buying one thing and have the money in my hand already, and me because I have loot sitting next to my wallet.
>calmly walk back to car, which since it has broken AC and has been sitting in the sun for half an hour, is boiling hot.
>Drop my loot in the passenger seat and drive back to a nice and shady spot near my house.
>Open and inspect my loot of 22 Crap cards and two boosters.
>Total crap, although I did get a Doomwake Giant in the booster I actually bought.
>In total, got 52 cards/two boosters and crap for the price of a single booster.
>drive home, toss wrappers/etc in trash can before I park
>Have a nice small stack of cards on my computer desk, and family doesn't bat any eyes, since they all know I love Magic.
>Thinking about it more and more, and looking up more information on shoplifters and such, I get the urge to make a bigger heist with a competing store, using the old "Fill up a tote bag and just walk out" technique.
>Planning on going in the next few days
>Say, "Hey, if I'm going to possibly profit and possibly get arrested, I might as well tell Funnyjunk about it first."
>Wish me luck faggots!