Military Punishments. part 1. 20 Punishments Handed Down By Superiors In The Military. These Are Horrifying But Genius. A private was caught walking to the show
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Military Punishments

part 1

20 Punishments Handed Down
By Superiors In The Military.
These Are Horrifying But Genius.
A private was caught walking to the showers
without wearing his clothes. (Just holding his
towel and walking nude). The showers were in
the same bay, and it was just males in the bay,
but a female Drill from another platoon came in
and saw him, and made him drop and give so
pushups while nude.
USMC here. In our unit we had one guy that
would constantly hum songs. Well one day our co
had enough of his behavior so he Tells him to
Report to his Locker. so he goes to his locker and
stands in front of it, co tells him to get inside the
locker. when he does he shuts and locks the door
with him inside. He reaches into his pocket and
pulls out a quarter and pushes it through the vent
holes and tells the guy to start singing, and tells
him that whenever someone puts a quarter in the
slot he was to sing another song. this went on for
6 hours, the guy made around 15 bucks in
quarters and we were all in pain from laughing at
him.
Needless to say he acquired the name 'jukebox'
and never hummed again
What are they going to do? Bend my dog tags?
Take my birthday away? chuckle chuckle"
Uhm.. Yep, apparently a Navy Captain did just
that once on purpose by deliberately sailing
parallel to the International Dateline then slipping
across it right on midnight.
Tomorrow suddenly became yesterday and no
birthday for you this year ya chuckle head.
During Beast at USAFA, one of my fellow cadets
started laughing at one of our Flight
whistling that "To the left, to the left" song. Cadre
went off on him...
Basic Cadet woo, are you laughing!?"
Yes, sir
why are you laughing, do you know what
happened today?"
BRUCE WILLIS DIED TADAY! Do you hate Bruce
Willis!?"
THEN WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT HIS
DEATH!?"
No excuse, -"
Today is a day of national tragedy! We need to
memorialize his death. Pick up one of those
rocks!"
Does sal
This is now the Bruce Willis Memorial Rock.
What should we name RI?"
Sir, I do not kno-"
WE' RE GONNA NAME IT BRUCE! From now until
the end of Basic, you will carry Bruce with you at
all times! If I ask you how Bruce is doing, you will
show me Bruce and sound off "r' , sir."
Do you understand!?"
One of the other flights in my squadron had their
command for "forward march" changed to
Autobots, roll out." They had to make the
transformation sound from the old cartoon before
they were allowed to start marching,
In Basic training, one soldier hast his
canteen and asked the Drill Sergeant if he had
seen it. The Drill was angry at this for some
reason and made the private wander around for a
few hours asking all kinds of inanimate objects if
they had seen his canteen. Stt things like: "Truck,
have you seen my canteen?"
Saw a drill instructor (USMC) have a recruit find a
rock, name it Dignity and then throw it. Poor sap
spent the next chrs asking people if they' seen
his friend Dignity and walked around calling out
for it.
Got caught on basic with my Wed and I ran
around the camp for near 2 hours with my ipod
over my head shouting "i' m a stupid f** k for
bringing my ipod in the field" as the "enemy" was
attacking our camp. I then proceeded to put my
ipod in a plastic hag then taped it onto my helmet
and from there on I responded to Private mod.
When my instructor shouted play I had to sing,
skip I had to switch song etc... It lasted 2 weeks,
even during the night when I had hours to
sleep.
A service member was a total f** , to put it
gently. Couldn' t be on time, couldn' t show up
dressed to standards, constantly forgot
professional courtesies, so on. When he was on
his last straw, his squad leader pulled him aside
and more or less started yelling, then stopped
himself.
lilo. You know what? I' m done yelling at you. It
doesn' t work. Stay right here; don' t go
anywhere." He stormed off into the company
building. The phrase, "stay right here, don' t go
anywhere" is typically the precursor to something
horrible happening when said in anger. The squad
leader eventually emerged carrying a smalldick
potted tree which he hands to the service
member.
You will keep this tree alive. You will carry this
with you where ever you go in uniform. You will
take it to PT, you will take it to chow, you will
take it to work. If anyone asks you why you' re
carrying this f'" king tree around, you will tell
them, 'It' s to replace the oxygen I stole from
everyone else.'
...
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Submitted: 05/17/2014
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Comments(232):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#6 - chcknchsr ONLINE (05/18/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I had to check, but Bruce Willis is still alive.
I had to check, but Bruce Willis is still alive.
#1 - tazzerz (05/17/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I love these military training punishment things so damn much. Some of them are pure evil genius.

Pic semi-related
#12 - leonkierrn (05/18/2014) [+] (1 reply)
There is nothing like making private spend his whole Saturday in full gear to "sweep" the sunlight out of a parking lot.
User avatar #61 - guiguito (05/18/2014) [+] (13 replies)
I would just stare blankly at the commander and say: no.
Seriously how hard it it?
User avatar #66 to #61 - agrani (05/18/2014) [-]
Youve never been in the army have you?
#53 - anonymous (05/18/2014) [+] (9 replies)
PRIVATE'S!
HOW'S YOUR BRUCE?!
User avatar #9 - caffeinecommissar (05/18/2014) [+] (35 replies)
Sorry, but could someone,explain to me the issue behind walking naked to the shower?

I know military life is all strict-discipline and all, but it just strikes me as odd.

Now whichever militaryexplain / armyexplain / usarmyexplain explains it, I don't care.
#11 to #9 - leonkierrn (05/18/2014) [-]
The military had to buckle down on sexual harassment cases. In an open bay, a room full of beds and wall lockers there are no places hiding places. So a dude walking down 100ft long room naked, while female DS can come and go is bad as it can lead to more issues.
The military had to buckle down on sexual harassment cases. In an open bay, a room full of beds and wall lockers there are no places hiding places. So a dude walking down 100ft long room naked, while female DS can come and go is bad as it can lead to more issues.
#87 - PenguinsOfMars ONLINE (05/18/2014) [+] (6 replies)
i ship to usaf basic training in 9 days, glad i chose the pussy branch
#73 - threeofclubs (05/18/2014) [-]
A guy in my unit went AWOL. After the army quit paying him he called his SGT and asked why. His SGT told him to go to any police station and explain to them the situation, being government employees they'd be able to help him out. We never heard from him again.
#125 - tonicwater (05/18/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I've got one
USAF Basic Training
It was pretty early on in training (about 1st or 2nd week) and the flight was just starting to come together as a group but most people still had a hard time moving with a purpose. One day, the training instructor calls a column of files to bring the flight inside and everyone does their usual slow paced meander inside. This time the instructor is not having that **** . He has everyone form back up outside at double arm intervals. This is a dead giveaway that we are going to get put on our faces. "It is clear to me that you all can not get it though your thick skulls that you are supposed to move with a purpose out here! Every flight that I push is the best at what they do and if you want to move slow, we are going to be the slowest damn flight in the history of the air force! How many of you have seen the Matrix?" Most of the flight raises their hands. "Good. Now I am sure that you all have seen the scenes where they are all moving in slo-mo to dodge bullets. I want you to move no faster than that! Get on your faces!" Everyone takes nearly a full minute to get into pushup position. We do several 20 second pushups (10 seconds going down 10 going up). During these pushups two girls from another flight march by and he pulls them aside and tells them to go meet up with the rest of their flight and tell them about how slow our flight was and to write home to their families about how slow our flight was. He then calls us to go inside once more and everyone does this awkward (and slightly painful) slow motion walk to go inside. If anyone took more than 1 step every ten seconds he would yell " Woah Trainee! Thats way too fast! You might overexert yourself!" It took the entire flight over 20 minutes to climb 2 sets of stairs to our dormitory. Needless to say, we never half-assed anything for the rest of training.

I have a few others but this one is the best.
#143 - anonymous (05/18/2014) [-]
"Have you seen my canteen?" "That's okay take your time."
#81 - samoaspider (05/18/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I read the whole damn thing and I gotta say, the Jukebox one was the best in my opinion
User avatar #2 - kjftiger (05/18/2014) [+] (6 replies)
I am in NJROTC and my Commander likes to threaten to send people to the North Pole to count penguins yes, he knows there are none but likes to screw with people
#140 - firesky (05/18/2014) [-]
the birthday one remembered me of this masterpiece
User avatar #127 - collateraldamageco (05/18/2014) [+] (19 replies)
Reading these things kind of just makes me lose any respect I once had for our military
#148 to #127 - DemonMatt (05/18/2014) [-]
God forbid the military has a sense of humor off-duty.
User avatar #44 - RisenLichen ONLINE (05/18/2014) [+] (18 replies)
Oh god I'm scared of **** like this happening when I go to basic. I can be a real **** up sometimes cause I need things explained to me a couple times before I get it.
User avatar #112 - qwertymnbv (05/18/2014) [+] (2 replies)
This sounds like the fun **** we do to our pledges lolol except it's worse.. way way worse
#144 - lazycloud (05/18/2014) [+] (4 replies)
"Have you seen my canteen?" "That's okay take your time."
#156 to #144 - anonymous (05/18/2014) [-]
Shameless steal from 143. God people like you are annoying.
Here's a tree to carry around to replace the oxygen you steal from everyone.
#89 - anonymous (05/18/2014) [-]
This was basic training at the United States Military Academy. We were doing the NBC chamber (tear gas) and testing out our gas masks just to show confidence in equipment. Before leaving the chamber you had the option of taking off your gas mask and proceed to do some sort of joke/song/dance/whatever gag you could think of.

Obviously everyone would do it. Except one guy was really about to walk out without doing it. One cadre immediately put his hand on his chest and in one fell swoop, tore the guys mask off. He took of his as well, and yelled "You best start dancing NEW CADET" and proceeded to beat box. Needless to say some dancing had been accomplished by that new cadet.
#65 - anonymous (05/18/2014) [-]
I know these are all military hard nuts doing their jobs and stuff, but the majority of them sound utterly pathetic.
#4 - anonymous (05/18/2014) [-]
Do what we say. Hail hitler.
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