Meeting your GF's father for the first t. dont look at the tags. meeting ' s fatherree the first time (mom passed away) lg I iknew he is : perfet: king protecti Goddammit i said dont look
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Meeting your GF's father for the first t

dont look at the tags

meeting ' s fatherree the first time (mom passed away)
lg I iknew he is : perfet: king protective his only daughter
awalk opte house and knock en the deer
weer wens: shotgun barrel gets stuck in myface
mar dad asks "can i help you"
a stick my index finger in the barrel
bl say "whats up dce? here to pickup delphine"
bfather chuckles
nes me inside, house is decorated like a hunting cabin
were talkier 20 min until is ready
has we walk em her dad threas a shotgun shell at me
wells "Just remember derp, that mews alot faster after " and closes the deer
er? leans dyer and says "youde the first guy who hasnt been scared eff by that"
have go (hate hunting alene with him this weekend
Fifi dent pest anything fer mew days assume dead in afield .
...
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Views: 42871
Favorited: 101
Submitted: 02/06/2014
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#1 - fugex (02/06/2014) [+] (2 replies)
MFW
#7 - bedtimehero (02/06/2014) [+] (7 replies)
"Stick my index finger in the barrel"
"Stick my index finger in the barrel"
User avatar #6 - arsyro (02/06/2014) [+] (6 replies)
As a big brother its fun to bring out the weapon collection when my little sister gets picked up by guys
#18 - Elemental (02/06/2014) [+] (8 replies)
MFW   
>Drive out to middle of nowhere to met gf's father.   
>she is telling me about him on the way   
>he has a court date to see if he is going back to jail coming up   
>arrive at a trailer    
>						***************					   
>yard is filled with literal trailer trash   
>get out of car   
>front porch of trailer covered with lattice obscuring view   
>hear boots stomping down a ramp   
"So you're the one who's been 						*******					 my daughter!"   
Almost jumped right back into the car.
MFW
>Drive out to middle of nowhere to met gf's father.
>she is telling me about him on the way
>he has a court date to see if he is going back to jail coming up
>arrive at a trailer
> ***************
>yard is filled with literal trailer trash
>get out of car
>front porch of trailer covered with lattice obscuring view
>hear boots stomping down a ramp
"So you're the one who's been ******* my daughter!"
Almost jumped right back into the car.
#19 to #18 - Elemental (02/06/2014) [-]
Continue'd   
>turns out my dad arrested him multiple times   
>he tells me crazy stories of bar brawls and misadventures   
>mfw I smoked a joint with a guy my dad arrested
Continue'd
>turns out my dad arrested him multiple times
>he tells me crazy stories of bar brawls and misadventures
>mfw I smoked a joint with a guy my dad arrested
#45 - bandh (02/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
HFW at 10:59
HFW at 10:59
User avatar #14 - xxnovey (02/06/2014) [+] (5 replies)
So my dad has five daughters, and he's over protective of all of us because he's you know, a pretty awesome dad.
Now if any of my sister's and I's boyfriends or husbands do anything to harm my sisters and I, my dad would handle the problem instantly.
My dad is about 6'2", he's been in the Marine Corps, and he's been a carpenter for pretty much his whole life, (he'll be 54 this year), so he's a pretty strong guy.
On the other hand, my boyfriend is a 6'4" 100% Chinese man who has a black belt in Judo, and this is the first man that any of my sister's and I have dated that he was like, "well the only way to take him down is to shoot him." Thankfully my dad genuinely loves the man I am dating, so I really hope that his threat of shooting him isn't an option anymore.

So for all you guys out there, don't **** with your girlfriend and make sure to get on her dad's good side if you don't want anything to happen to you.
#20 to #14 - captnpl (02/06/2014) [-]
"my dad genuinely loves the man I am dating"
Be careful, they might run off together.
User avatar #57 - solarisofcelestia (02/07/2014) [+] (6 replies)
Dove hunting?
User avatar #58 to #57 - gmarrox (02/07/2014) [-]
Yes. The hunting of doves.
#72 - gmarrox (02/07/2014) [+] (6 replies)
I had a super awkward meeting with my ex's dad. First thing we did when I came inside was he took my into his wood-paneled office, locked the door, and told me about his 30+ years of military service while sharpening a knife, and how much he adored his only daughter. He made sure to stress the fact that she was "an untouched virgin" while staring directly into my eyes.
Then we sat down for dinner and he brought out hamburgers. He said it was "his special recipe". After I took one bite a realized his "recipe" was a ******** of hotsauce, spicy mustard, and jalapenos rolled into the meat. I told him I was getting over an ulcer and couldn't eat spicy food. He gave me a disgusted look and got up to take my plate, but I accepted the challenge because **** this guy and my bowels. I ate it and asked for seconds. I then went and had the most painful, bloody, burning **** of my life.
Then I went up to my (at the time) girlfriend's room and we started watching a movie. He brought up a bowl of popcorn and sat down and watched it with us. We were watching Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, but he spent the whole movie telling us "how ******* stupid it is".
I got fed up, stood up, kissed Amber goodbye, and said " **** this, I'm gonna go play Morrowind."
He responded with "...you play Morrowind?"

And then we had a 3 hour conversation about Morrowind between the three of us and I fingerbanged her numerous times over the course of our brief relationship.
#96 - chiefecho (02/07/2014) [+] (2 replies)
boyfriends fw dove hunting
boyfriends fw dove hunting
#41 - phudgepacker (02/07/2014) [+] (1 reply)
boyfriends FW dove hunting
User avatar #48 - friendlyanonymous (02/07/2014) [-]
My girlfriends Dad whispered "If you hurt her like the last boy, I'll kill you."
I whispered back "Good thing if I do that I'd kill myself first."
He laughed super hard. Thankfully I was joking. I could outrun him.
#56 - icametocomment ONLINE (02/07/2014) [+] (6 replies)
My dad already has his bit planned out if I ever bring home a guy.

-shows him a gun- "Now if you're mean to her, I'll give you a five hundred yard running start, because this one is good for a thousand yards."

Hunter dads are fun.
User avatar #64 to #56 - Soviet Savior (02/07/2014) [-]
My dad told my sisters bf "If you ever hurt her, just remember, i have 200 acres, a shovel , and im not afraid of going back to prison."
User avatar #111 - completeaddiction **User deleted account** (02/07/2014) [-]
"You're the first guy who hasn't been scared off by that"
Girl didn't warn him
**** that bitch.
User avatar #52 - forrestblue (02/07/2014) [-]
No way, this is fake no one on FJ has a gf.
User avatar #109 - bigsaltyballs (02/07/2014) [+] (7 replies)
story time motha ******
>be me about half a year ago
>been dating 6/10 red head. *we'll call her Red for now
>Red and I have been dating for about a month
> she asked if i finally wanted to meet her dad
> ***************************** .jpeg
> didn't wanna upset her so i sad yea
>fast forward to Saturday.
>i rolled up to Red's house in mah pick'em up truck.*
*we live in the hill country of Texas and she lives in a 200 acre ranch.
>knock on door and Red looking hotter than 2 naked blonds in a sauna
>say hello and finally walk inside.
>as soon as my foot hit the floor her dad grabs his rifle, and points it at me.
>this guy is a massive 6'2'',185lb former bull rider. 9/10 would not **** with kinda guy
>tells me in a low twangy voice " you the boy that's datin' mah dawter?"
>"ye-ye-yes sir"
>he booms, "well come on in son, ive got a bone tah pick witcha"
>Red at this point looks at me with a " dont **** up" look and leaves to her room.
>Her pop's tells me to sit down in the living room
>still has rifle pointed at me
>outta nowhere he says "you ever had a rifle pointed atcha?"
>"n-no sir"
>he puts it down and laughs a hardy Texan laugh that would make Ronald Reagan quiver in shame.
>tells me Red's old boyfriends ran off soon as he had his gun pointed at them.
(cont)
User avatar #2 - kanatana ONLINE (02/06/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Interesting tale, chap. How did it go?
#66 - invshika (02/07/2014) [+] (4 replies)
mfw it's not dove season till september
mfw it's not dove season till september
User avatar #37 - randomwanker (02/07/2014) [-]
I had a pretty cool teacher who used to work in a prison... one time when his daughter was going to get picked up he intimidated the guy by saying he had just gotten out of prison and wasn't afraid to go back.... my teacher's daughter and the guy broke up that night
User avatar #9 - fargtwo (02/06/2014) [-]
I feel like I've seen that "moves faster after 11" line before somewhere.
Is there some kind of forum for dads? Maybe that's where he heard it.
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