Marine Corps Basics. Ok, here's the story transcribed: Well, apparently that's for SatCom Marines and for some reason we couldn't get any god damn comms up in t Marine Corps Basics Ok here's the story transcribed: Well apparently that's for SatCom Marines and some reason we couldn't get any god damn comms up in t
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Marine Corps Basics

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Marine Corps Basics. Ok, here's the story transcribed: Well, apparently that's for SatCom Marines and for some reason we couldn't get any god damn comms up in t

Ok, here's the story transcribed:
Well, apparently that's for SatCom Marines and for some reason we couldn't get any god damn comms up in the field, so they send this data Marine over to power it up and to get our **** working. Hes all like "idfk wut i b doin mastuh sawnt" and master funnery sergeant is like "well there's a switch on the panel just work that herp derp" and so this data guy is on the phone with someone and tells the dude to push a few buttons. So hes all like aight. Well, earlier he told me that i could cook my chicken enchilada MRE on that ****** because of the microwaves, so i walk over and get it and i hear on the phone screaming TURN THAT ******* THING OFF YOURE GOING TO DESTROY A SATELLITE
Me: Wait, how would that destroy a satellite?
He boosted our signal so high that it was starting to fry the electrical systems of the one we were connected to so master guns runs over and is like wtf maroon and the data guy is like idfk master guns, im not a SatCom Marine Im data, all these small numbers meam nothing to me. Basically the short story is top was too lazy to get a SAT dude from the base to fix our comms and sent the data guy to fix it and the end result is him nearly melting a satellite up in orbit

and so this data guy is an the phone Givith someone and tells
the dude ts push a Few buttons sashes all like aight
So, .. You didn' t have mams, but this guy pulled out his cell
phone, .. ts fix the comms.
basically
Marine Corps in a nutshell EU
...
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Views: 1352 Submitted: 11/08/2013
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
I've done that before...
User avatar #2 to #1 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
You're telling me that as a data or satcoms guy, you've nearly fried a satellite's wiring?
#4 to #2 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
I ive been out for over half a year, and i still dont understand why they had put me in charge of comms for that
User avatar #5 to #4 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
What was your MOS?
#6 to #5 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
2621
User avatar #7 to #6 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Oh, come on, man. Give me the title, not the number.
#8 to #7 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Special Communications Signal Intercept Operator/Analyst. Had more emphasis on the analysis part, so i had no idea what the **** i was doing being in charge of comms for our team
User avatar #9 to #8 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Dude... What?
You're like a super-Pog. I was just an electrician, dealing with simple **** and getting outside the fob. Your job would probably make some of the Marines I was with heads explode.
#10 to #9 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
(this was at emv) whenever i had to talk with the comms guys with the grunt unit we were attatched too, i would just make up a completely bs story about what our job was, as it was easier than trying to talk around what it actually was. my personal favorite was the 2666, combat demonologist MOS, (some of them even believed it, because they saw me blow up on one of their 0200 gunnies)
User avatar #11 to #10 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Ahahaha! Dude, I was around Marines that were so dumb they believed me when I said I got the wrong MOS out of boot, that I was originally slated for 0001, General's Wife's Voyeur or some ****, where I would basically "take care of all their needs," including *******. I said that the test I had to go through in MEPS to qualify me for it was a battery of 23 different sex positions with a Captain, I aced them all, but some other guy got the job because his dick was a quarter inch longer.
I was telling this ******** and there were about thirty guys hanging on my every word like a moronic hivemind.
#12 to #11 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
I got our company banned from coming up with our own callsigns for fx's, after getting my platoon commander to have our oce call sign be "twilight sparkle"
#13 to #12 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Our gunny was the one who designated our unit's callsigns and he was unimaginative as ****. Everyone was saying "make it DRAGON SKULL" or some ****, but he made it "Sapper." Every ******* combat engineer unit are sappers... He may as well called the Lt "Combat Engineer Actual," haha.
#14 to #13 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
we tended to come up with rather imaginative ones...the closest thing my platoon had at the time too a "normal " call sign was "Quartermain", the other ones being twilight sparkle, day drunk, and precious. i think the other platoons had "ram-bone", "unicorn blessing", "nightmare moon", and "Greyskull."
#15 to #14 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL   
Or something, I never watched that cartoon. Didn't he shout "Thunder, Thunder, Thunder!"   
CRYSTALS, CRYSTALS, CRYSTALS!!!   
Yeah, we would do stupid **** over our radios when we were on long convoys like blast music to all the vics or talk in a really rapid redneck voice or some stupid ****. Fun times.
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL
Or something, I never watched that cartoon. Didn't he shout "Thunder, Thunder, Thunder!"
CRYSTALS, CRYSTALS, CRYSTALS!!!
Yeah, we would do stupid **** over our radios when we were on long convoys like blast music to all the vics or talk in a really rapid redneck voice or some stupid ****. Fun times.
#16 to #15 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
I distinctly remembering doing a radio check in the form of a barbershop quartet. and also trying to make an ASCII pedobear to send over the radio...also found out that the gas mask goes great with a german stahlhelm. had to cover the nametapes, since he's still in.
#17 to #16 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Ermagerd, where did you get a German helmet like that? It looks completely badass, like you belong in the post-apocalyptic Russian metro.
We never did crazy ****, but I recently discovered just how awesome it is to be a Devil Doge.
#18 to #17 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Had a friend who was a german/russian linguist, and he had left it in the car after a night of drinking. dont know were he originally got it from. the person in the picture was also the one who figured out that a pickelhaube (german ww1) actually works really well with dress blues.
#19 to #18 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Pickelhaube?
I tried to bring **** back with me, I stole a Quran from a detfac and little hadji hats from kids in exchange for candy, but my gunny confiscated it because I was over there when that whole thing with Marines accidentally burning Qurans, the Scout Snipers' symbol being compared to the Schutzstaffel, and that Army faggot going out and killing twenty civilians.
#20 to #19 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Never got to deploy... was originally supposed to but then i had some medical issues pop up. So now im stuck going to nursing school while the friend i have who currently is filling the billet i used to hold gets to spend 12 hours a day on facebook
#25 to #20 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
-What I actually did-  (and still do)    
I have more PTSD from Battlefield than I do Afghanistan.
-What I actually did- (and still do)
I have more PTSD from Battlefield than I do Afghanistan.
#26 to #25 - thatonenerd
+1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
We actually had someone go in for a TBI screening, and end up with an aspergers diagnosis. It got to the point were there were jokes that if a psych eval were needed for our job, they wouldnt have anyone to do it.
#23 to #20 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Dude, what.
Autism isn't caused, it's a defect from birth.
Anyway, I would take smoke breaks and go the **** outside instead of sitting on Facebook...
Blegh, I would have hated to have an MOS that required me to look at a screen all my waking hours.
#24 to #23 - thatonenerd
+1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
it wouldnt cause autism, its just that the autistic mind was the best suited for that specific billet. but it was common enough that is was automatically assumed that anyone who was at least a little "off" was a high-functioning autistic.
#27 to #20 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Aspergers isn't a bad thing. I have it.
What is a TBI?
#28 to #27 - thatonenerd
+1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
Traumatic brain injury. They usually screen for it along with ptsd, but this person had gotten it from falling out of a rack while on a meu. While aspergers wasnt really an issue, there still tended to be a higher than average rate of mental illness. besides the apersgers, that is. a lot of people with depression and anxiety, and i personally had the pleasure of learning that the first episode of bipolar usually happens in the late teens-early twenties.
#21 to #20 - dashgamer [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
He's deployed and he spends his day on ******* Facebook? What a *******, that doesn't even sound fun... I'm really glad I didn't have to sit on the fob repairing **** all day when I was deployed.
#22 to #21 - thatonenerd
+1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
knowing what he's doing he actually probably is working hard. its just the kind of job that if you can do it a strait 12 hours a day you're either autistic, our you'll end up crazy. which is probably why the battalion commander is working so hard to cover up the autism rates we had
#3 to #1 - thatonenerd
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2013) [-]
not the frying a sat com bit, but the using a cell phone to try and get come up.