I Anonymous (ID: ) 07/ 12/ 14( Sat) 04: 20: 37 No. 556146089 F
a fat story thread going?
of my own I was sharing before thread died.
Everyone in my family is currently an obese whale who frequents tumblr. Even my dad. I always kept an average weight and now I' m starting to turn most into
muscle. Here' s a story of a few years back when I still lived with them
bbe me, 16, around 5' 11, 150 pounds. just got my license.
screeches from her bedroom to tell me to go to the store for groceries (as the fat has molded into her sheets)
llet her ramble off a bunch of bullshit I need to buy
pounds of maccaroni, 12 pounds of ground beef, 6 microwaved pizzas, the usual
aat the store. I pick up a bunch of shit. Finally near the end when I get to the dairy aisle
milk, cheese, and I get to the sour cream.
my family fucking loves their sour cream
aall the normal tubs are sold out, all that' s left is shit.
bbuy that, gtfo of the store and go home
or Anonymous (ID: ) ( Sat) 04: 21: 43 No. 556146193 p »55614& »» 556149671
File: download.' pg (8 KB, 268x188)
henpecking groceries at home. start putting away the stuff that needs to be refridgerated
walks by and gazes upon me unloading all the fatty processed shit I was told to buy
k" . ccan hear his drool on the Mor
finally he sees me putting up the sour cream
fface is so red he looks like a giant red thumb
WE CANNOT HELP OUR WEIGHT ITS JUST GENETICS YOU ARE GROUNDED"
ffuck it i dont even care and go to my room.
Slater that night chilling on my computer in the living room while the watches Food Network in the same room.
ddad tells mom about the low fat sour cream incident
throws the N remote at the back of my head and screeches with the power of 1000 dying seals. starts repeating the same shit my dad did
mmfw i had to get stitches because of low fat sour cream
mmfw it was worth it
One of many.
U Anonymous (ID: ) 07/ 12/ 14( Sat) 05: 02: 00 No. 556150289 p
File: 1385780495281. png (122 KB, 392x371)
Fuck it I' ll bump with another story.
time before the sour cream incident, 15 y/ o me.
convinced the whale overlords it would be a good idea to go to a waterpark
aim all for it because i would end up just ditching them and doing my own thing
dday of reckoning is upon us. mom dad wearing a white swim shirt he bought at baby gap, sister wearing a bathing suit that looks like you wrapped a deformed
twinkle in blue fabric, mom wearing a tailpiece with the bottoms covered my her fat .
aboard the Fat Ass Express. 2 hour drive to the waterpark. The car smelled of fry oil and sadness
finally arrive. They make me buy the tickets and a locker while they go and Md 12 chairs for them to relax in
bbuy the shit and immediately go in the opposite direction. few hours pass with no incident.
C) Anonymous (ID: ) 07/ 12/ 14( Sat) 05: 14: 27 No. 556151474 F
ebeen just walking around for about 3 hours. the waterpark was ridiculously big so I haven' t seen the Narutards since we got here
suecide to go chill in the wading pool
pstart socializing with some people
ahit it off with a qta. 14 / 10 honey.
wwe talk for about half an hour and I ask her if her she wants to go get some ice cream near the front of the park
sshe agrees, wading pool nls with spaghetti
aas we leave the pool, the worst happens
tthe clouds cover the sun
drops 10 degrees
powerful force is rumbling through the earth.
hear "" as whalemom and dad come chugging towards me and the qt.
Anon where have you been? We' been worried sick!"
uh dad..." visibly embarrassed, girl is acting really awkward
Aww is this your new girlfriend????''
mega behemoth hug from dad
yhe starts hobbling towards the girl, a look of terror nls her eyes
phatass can' t keep himself on his feet, slips and collides with the girl, tipping her into the pool and landing on her legs before she falls in
turn ghost white
ddad stands up and panics, attempts to jump in and save her
ajust jumps right on her head as she was resurfacing
itums out he broke her ankle
Handing on her head with such force slammed her into the side wall of the wading pool, gave her a concussion
H havent been to a waterpark since because the memories resurface
Alright. Here' s one from Thanksgiving about 10 months after the waterpark. Sorry I don' t have these prettied, never thought people would like them.
day. we' re going to our cousins house to eat.
ffor the past month momma lard has been getting really into feminism and Tat acceptance' nonsense. It was really annoying but not too hard to live with
sshe' s wearing a tight brown dress with turkeys all over it, trying to show off "muh precious womanly "
wwhatever, put on a new suit i bought for a job interview.
ddad lard is wearing a suit about my size. It looks like you tried to stuff a 30 pound ham into a fancy tube sock
keister is also wearing some dumb, baby gap dress
anally leave to my cousins house
we get there my mom is already starting to show her feminazi, bitching at my uncle for trying to help her get out of the car
wwe just chill and watch N for an hour until I hear my cousin yelling
H book it to the kitchen because I thought she was hurt
aall the side dishes she had prepared were gone and ravaged
aask everyone in the house what had happened, momma lard fesses up
l didn' t eat breakfast this morning and I am entitled to whatever I want when you thingies won' t check your privilege/ Ti told you they Frequent tumblr)" just go make more fucks sake"
C) Anonymous (ID: ) 07/ ( Sat) 05: 37: 31 No. 556153692 p
aat this point my uncle and aunt are absolutely livid
tthey try and hide their anger and console my cousin while my mom laughs about the whole thing to my dad
winner is delayed for another hour while replacement sides are being prepared
ffucking Finally. sitting there watching my mom lick leftover potato salad off her sausage link Fingers was pissing me off
wwe sit down to eat. everything was Bayed out on the coffee table because my fat ass family needed to sit on the couch
stalk for a second then start to dig in
mom, grunting like John Goodman Fucking Rosanne, leaned forward to grab some potato salad
bungle grabs the whole dish and tells her no, she already had enough sides
bentense staredown between my uncle and the whale
iswear to god it looks like she was going to eat him
blustering up all her energy, she leans forward, and pushes the coffee table over, spilling the entire meal
tunnle pushes chair back and forces us to leave
assayed to help clean while the whale trio drives away
yhour later, everything is clean, my cousins tell me they love me most out of my entire family
tthey give me a ride home. Got bitched at later by my mom for taking a ride from those "arophobic bastards"
wwe haven' t been invited to their house again