Life explained. Wanted to share. Not mine. God created the dag and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. Fo Life explained funny Witty snapbackfedoralu
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Life explained

Life explained. Wanted to share. Not mine. God created the dag and said: Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. Fo

Wanted to share. Not mine

God created the dag and said:
Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
span of twenty years.‘
The dog said: 'That' s a long time to be barking. How about
only ten years and I' ll give you back the other ten?'
Sty God agreed,
Then God created the monkey and said:
Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this,
I' ll give you a life span,'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That' s a
pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
like the Dog did?'
And Gad agreed.
Then God created the cow and said:
You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support:
the farmer' s family. For this, I will give you a life span of
sixty years.‘
The cow said: 'Thais kind of a tough life you want me to
live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I' ll give back
the other forty?'
And Gad agreed again,
Thereafter God created humans and said:
Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life, For this, I' ll
give you twenty years,'
But the human said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly
give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
makes eighty, okay?'
tokay/ said God, ‘you asked for it.'
So that is why for- our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
and enjoy ourselves. For the next Forty years we slave in
the sun to support our fa mint. For the next ten years we do
monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren” And for the
last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
...
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Submitted: 12/01/2013
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Comments(64):

[ 64 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#21 - sirham (12/02/2013) [-]
I love it when the entire comment section is pictures about an "incoming 			*********		", and then there's not a single person in the comments complaining about the post.   
pic unrelated
I love it when the entire comment section is pictures about an "incoming ********* ", and then there's not a single person in the comments complaining about the post.
pic unrelated
User avatar #32 to #21 - hazenberdan (12/02/2013) [-]
You just had to jinx it didn't you
#34 to #21 - lolchris (12/02/2013) [-]
The guy in the red/orange jersey runs to shut up the voices in his head that tell him he just assassinated a man
User avatar #48 to #21 - ugoboom (12/02/2013) [-]
That means it's working.
It's like cockblocking but in image form.
User avatar #7 - lucianolp (12/02/2013) [-]
Oh **** guys! Christianity! Let's not enjoy the cool cute story and bitch about other peoples ideas!
User avatar #35 to #7 - thebesttrumpeteer (12/02/2013) [-]
no one said what god. i'm going with cthulu on this
#45 to #35 - thecrayzeeman (12/02/2013) [-]
Cthulhu's presence is heavy this day on Funnyjunk.

Ia Cthulhu!
#30 to #7 - John Cena (12/02/2013) [-]
Just replace god with ur favorite Allah/Buddha/flying spaghetti monster and everyone is happy
#2 - drakaththeundead (12/01/2013) [-]
Its coming!!
#22 - notwhothefkisanon (12/02/2013) [-]
sooo. first theres a farmer, but then humans are created?
User avatar #28 to #22 - alphagex (12/02/2013) [-]
Stop asking logical question about religion.
#49 - klavi (12/02/2013) [-]
All the comments are like "All the posts are like: "Aw **** man, incoming ********* " but then no one is arguing"

Getting pretty meta
#16 - knitey (12/02/2013) [-]
Can't we just enjoy a fun little story sometimes instead of going ******* ?

I'm not a believer myself, but I can still enjoy stories like these. It's not like when you watch The Hobbit, you stand up and say "that's not scientifically correct".

inb4redthumbs
User avatar #18 to #16 - lebarricuda (12/02/2013) [-]
No we can't, because I'm having a bad day and so should you!

average person online today
User avatar #25 to #16 - datlaugh (12/02/2013) [-]
No one has said anything.
User avatar #27 to #25 - knitey (12/02/2013) [-]
It was a message to people considering replying in that way.
User avatar #29 to #16 - hydraetis (12/02/2013) [-]
...I am very tempted to do that when I go to see the next Hobbit movie.
#10 - justakewldewd (12/02/2013) [-]
I'm not religious, but on a story-telling level I found this very well-thought out with a good kicker at the end. Ten points to the creator.
#14 to #10 - gromgalgo (12/02/2013) [-]
I 2nd that :3
User avatar #39 to #10 - razthough (12/02/2013) [-]
>Not religious.
>Ten points to the creator.
I see what you did there
#60 to #39 - justakewldewd (12/03/2013) [-]
I see where you're coming from, but a  very bad  pun wasn't intended. Stop finding patterns where they don't belong or you're going have to have to change your name to 'fandom'.
I see where you're coming from, but a very bad pun wasn't intended. Stop finding patterns where they don't belong or you're going have to have to change your name to 'fandom'.
User avatar #61 to #60 - razthough (12/03/2013) [-]
It was just a bad attempt to be funny. Though I don't really see why I should change my username to "fandom"?
#62 to #61 - justakewldewd (12/04/2013) [-]
You ever seen the post where the Doctor Who fandom makes a connection between The Silence being killed and tripping over thin air?
User avatar #63 to #62 - razthough (12/04/2013) [-]
No I haven't. What's the Silence?

Just thought it would be funny to take the thing you wrote out of context.
#64 to #63 - justakewldewd (12/05/2013) [-]
Let me try to explain this.

In Doctor Who, there is a race of creature called The Silence. They look like Slender Man and you forget their existence the moment you look away. They use this to their advantage by planting post-hypnotic suggestion into the psyche of the human race. It's not sure how long they've been on Earth, but one of them said they witnessed Humanity's creation of the Wheel.

The Doctor eventually dealt with them by using their own powers against them; planting a post-hypnotic message in the video footage of the Moon Landing, right between "one small step for man" and "one giant leap for mankind." The message was that the human race should kill the Silence on sight.

Some time on Tumbler, someone asked 'if we're killing them on sight, what are we doing with the bodies?' To which someone responded, 'every time you thought you tripped on thin air.'

Fandoms do this kind of thing all of the damn time, making connections that sometimes aren't really there. Not really pertinent to our situation now that I look again, but I am disappointed that nobody with the name fandom decided to respond.
User avatar #65 to #64 - razthough (12/05/2013) [-]
Oh, okey. I kind of see your point. Thanks for answering me.
User avatar #9 - kuraithevision (12/02/2013) [-]
So does this mean the people that die at 20 got lucky?
#4 - redteamgriff (12/02/2013) [-]
OP when the flame war starts
#6 - fuckingkeelin (12/02/2013) [-]
I liked it
I liked it
#19 - drfaust (12/02/2013) [-]
All of the comments are like "Oh **** here comes the flame war" even though there's not a single person who's said anything about religion (minus the trolls)
#42 - monsterderp (12/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#20 - taurusguy (12/02/2013) [-]
So what you are saying is, the longer you live the bigger asshole you are? Taking everybody's leftover years. When someone lives to be 100 someone else who should be living to 50 lives to 30?
#8 - insaneflame (12/02/2013) [-]
But I still enjoyed it and for that I shall thumb you up for being creative.
But I still enjoyed it and for that I shall thumb you up for being creative.
-3
#1 - newguynick has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #11 to #1 - lyiat ONLINE (12/02/2013) [-]
Ten hours, no flame war. You're a really **** firebrand.
User avatar #13 to #1 - mcderfenschmirt (12/02/2013) [-]
I am 100% positive this is not someone's legitimate attempt at explaining this.
#41 - John Cena (12/02/2013) [-]
Anyone have that long story about how you had to live every life that ever existed and then you'd become God? Also I think there was a picture of planets besides a cracked egg at the end (if it helps). Would be much appreciated.
#38 - thisguyionceknew (12/02/2013) [-]
Wow life isn't that simple you uneducated **** nugget

There's layers upon layers of complexities you wouldn't even understand

Stop acting like an armchair philosopher and just ******* enjoy life
User avatar #43 to #38 - thebrownydestroyer **User deleted account** (12/02/2013) [-]
What if this is how he enjoys life
#40 to #38 - sirfiiddlesticks (12/02/2013) [-]
Layers, you say?
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#54 - iviagic has deleted their comment [-]
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#33 - fuckerrr **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
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#12 - infinitereaper has deleted their comment [-]
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