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129 comments displayed.
Reply
+144
#4 - protodude (12/28/2015) [-]
**protodude used "*roll picture*"**
**protodude rolled image** this is the biggest sin in my life.
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+181
User avatar #5 to #4 - DrollHumor (12/28/2015) [-]
You tried to sue santa? You monster.
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+28
#69 to #39 - moviefuckthewhat (12/28/2015) [-]
Damn that's an old reference.
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+5
User avatar #80 to #69 - albertjester ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
weeeeeeell technicaly it's old as new, old for the content but new in that the nostalgia critic did a video on it semi recently.
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+469
#1 - secretzx ONLINE (12/27/2015) [-]
Cause legends can't die
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0
#156 to #1 - locke (12/29/2015) [-]
posting because it's relevant.
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+20
User avatar #3 to #1 - muffincannibal (12/28/2015) [-]
But legends come from the dead.
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+1
User avatar #97 to #3 - shumdek (12/28/2015) [-]
Yes. The dead tell tales of this particular Legend in hell.
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+23
User avatar #7 to #1 - ubermasterfaggot (12/28/2015) [-]
Giant Dad was born from sin, and damn does sin feel so good.
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+24
#57 to #1 - jdizzleoffthehizzl (12/28/2015) [-]
Say that to Robin Williams...... **** I made myself sad
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+65
User avatar #58 to #57 - secretzx ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
He's not dead, he's just a really good actor
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+16
#126 to #67 - sweatanus (12/28/2015) [-]
I like doing these
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+4
#62 to #57 - anon (12/28/2015) [-]
He said legends.

inb4 butthurt
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0
User avatar #152 to #19 - trollzoll ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Yes but they go hollow.
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+54
#6 to #1 - littlebatty ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
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+1
User avatar #88 to #6 - shumdek (12/28/2015) [-]
PLease tell me there's a full song version of this
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+5
User avatar #91 to #88 - puresoul (12/28/2015) [-]
Ken Ashcorp - The Legend Never Dies Here you go
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+1
User avatar #95 to #91 - shumdek (12/28/2015) [-]
Thaank you. Just too bad it's so short ;_;
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+8
User avatar #22 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
I never really understood the "if you sin, you go to hell" **** .

Surely all Satan will do is give you a pat on the back and say "nice work m8"

and to be honest, i don't give a **** .
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+34
User avatar #23 to #22 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Or you just go to a preist and say "only a prank bro, I truely regret it" and bam heaven ...
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+4
User avatar #24 to #23 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
true ******* ****
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+5
User avatar #25 to #24 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
14 seconds to reply. Not bad.
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+3
User avatar #26 to #25 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
/shrug Just click the notification
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+4
User avatar #27 to #26 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
bam faster!
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+3
User avatar #28 to #27 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
bam
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+4
User avatar #29 to #28 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
damit!
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+2
User avatar #30 to #29 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
what are we doing
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+4
User avatar #31 to #30 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
I have no idea, but I am losing it ... bad intet
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+2
User avatar #32 to #31 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
bad inet
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+3
User avatar #33 to #31 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
bt infinity m8

or as I like to call it

bad telecommunications finite
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+3
User avatar #34 to #33 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
yes ... laptop with wlan in a 16k network. Not the best.
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+1
User avatar #35 to #34 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
I do not envy you
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+2
User avatar #36 to #35 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Yes. But it is (for my luck) the config of my mom. Back home for the holydays. At home I have a 100k network. No comparison to this thingy here.
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0
User avatar #37 to #36 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
noice
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+1
User avatar #41 to #37 - ninesundev ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Sad thing, my HDD is to bad to fully use it ...
The OS and background progs are draining so much r/w speed, that I "only" load with 80 - 90k.
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+20
User avatar #96 to #22 - davidbowiesensei (12/28/2015) [-]
Satan/Lucifer is not the prison warden of hell, he's prisoner zero.

I know like 5 people have told you the same thing by now, I just wanted to feel involved.
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+32
User avatar #46 to #22 - warbob (12/28/2015) [-]
contrary to common fiction , Lucifer / Satan or any of the other tens of names he's being called , is not the ruler of hell.

He's imprisoned there, just like the other sinners will be, according to Christianity.
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+51
User avatar #38 to #22 - galanorth ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Satan is down there to be punished too, he isn't like the pit lord of tormenting damned souls. He isn't your Warden, he is your cell mate.
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0
User avatar #40 to #38 - mazzy (12/28/2015) [-]
b-but..
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+10
#54 to #40 - anon (12/28/2015) [-]
hes down there because he hates the **** outta humies and would gladly have them be the subservient lesser race they ought to be, but God was like 'I AAAAAAAAAAINT HAVIN THAT **** !" and kicked his butt to the nether realm where he's grounded for life, which is pretty much infinite. so you know hes probably even more pissed at humans because his dad loves some faggot ass mortal bitches more than his superior genius son, so he pretty butthurt about it much like your anus if you go to hell for your sins.
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+5
User avatar #76 to #54 - dorfdorfdorf (12/28/2015) [-]
that's surprisingly theologically accurate
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0
#98 to #54 - skebaba (12/28/2015) [-]
God is such a dick. Punish a guy for being knowledge hungry.
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+2
User avatar #120 to #98 - tenaciouslee (12/28/2015) [-]
Well, not technically.

Satan wasn't knowledge hungry, he was power hungry, since he was the prettiest of all the princesses, he wanted to have the throne that God sat on, and basically wanted to become God, but Michael was like, "You better back the **** up before you get smacked the **** up bitch ***** .", and Satan was like, "No u.", and Michael gave him a holy ******* smackdown, laid him out for the 3 count, and threw him out of Heaven.
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0
#139 to #120 - lordofhell (12/28/2015) [-]
**lordofhell used "*roll picture*"**
**lordofhell rolled image**Wow dude you really think I'm the pretty.
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0
User avatar #140 to #139 - tenaciouslee (12/28/2015) [-]
I think ye be a dick, Satan.
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0
#141 to #140 - lordofhell (12/28/2015) [-]
**lordofhell used "*roll picture*"**
**lordofhell rolled image**What I ever do to you.
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0
User avatar #142 to #141 - tenaciouslee (12/28/2015) [-]
Tempt Eve, and take away Humanity's sweet gains.

You're a gain stealer, Satan.
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0
User avatar #143 to #142 - lordofhell (12/28/2015) [-]
But I wasn't no snake man that was Lilith im innocent like 40% of the time.
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0
User avatar #144 to #143 - tenaciouslee (12/28/2015) [-]
You're still a liar and a faggot.
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0
User avatar #145 to #144 - lordofhell (12/28/2015) [-]
Well you got me there.
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0
User avatar #146 to #145 - tenaciouslee (12/28/2015) [-]
So BTFO Satan, or I'll tell Michael on you.
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0
#160 to #98 - astatine (12/29/2015) [-]
I think you're maybe thinking of Prometheus, who was punished of giving the gift of fire to humans and taught them to stand upright and generally not be **** . Lucifer can be seen as a kind of tragic hero depending on how he's depicted (pushed Adam & Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge for example) but that's only if you twist the stories to paint him that way.

Not that God wasn't a dick in the old testament, I mean just ask Job, but Satan's a true red rocket.
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0
#161 to #160 - skebaba (12/29/2015) [-]
The Tree of Knowledge event was his only good thing ever done.
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+33
#64 - malinko ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
how bout 6,000,000?
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+5
#77 to #64 - einsampibroch (12/28/2015) [-]
Are though really sins, or blessings?
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+5
User avatar #72 to #64 - feelythefeel (12/28/2015) [-]
Oy vey, muh sixty gorillion!
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+4
#75 to #72 - crutos ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
never forget the 60 gojillion
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+4
#133 to #64 - clavatninenine (12/28/2015) [-]
>implying those were sins
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+19
User avatar #8 - kongdong (12/28/2015) [-]
it is my one goal in life to go to hell in every religion, i think i've got at least 11 down so far
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+1
#123 to #8 - anon (12/28/2015) [-]
The edgiest
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0
User avatar #149 to #123 - kongdong (12/28/2015) [-]
honestly you don't even have to try. just drink alcohol, and eat certain foods. or some other stupid ****
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+22
User avatar #9 to #8 - Greevon (12/28/2015) [-]
Religion where there's no hell = Ur ******
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+2
#48 to #9 - merrrione (12/28/2015) [-]
in every religion i've seen so far where there's no clear distinction between where the good people get sent and the bad people get sent, the place where everyone goes is usually closer to hell (i.e. Hades)
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0
#99 to #48 - skebaba (12/28/2015) [-]
But, but, Elysium.
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0
#101 to #99 - merrrione (12/28/2015) [-]
i'm pretty sure Elysium was
1. thought up after Hades
2. a place where only REALLY GOD DAMN OUTSTANDING people went
and if you dont count either of those, then it's a religion where a distinction was made, thus making the argument void in this case
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+20
User avatar #10 to #9 - kongdong (12/28/2015) [-]
then i just try to piss off their biggest church, or fiddle with their gathering place
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+3
User avatar #12 to #10 - harrykuntz (12/28/2015) [-]
I was the same, but then I discovered Valhalla. Now, I want to go to viking heaven, and am fine with everyone else pleb tier hells
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+29
User avatar #51 to #8 - streetshark (12/28/2015) [-]
At least 11. Being a faggot will get you that far.
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+17
User avatar #52 to #51 - streetshark (12/28/2015) [-]
thats the first mean comment I've posted and I'm not proud of myself
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-1
#79 to #52 - kongdong (12/28/2015) [-]
**kongdong used "*roll picture*"**
**kongdong rolled image** Okay, try to do better next time.
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+11
User avatar #53 - raidaltamimi (12/28/2015) [-]
In my religion, when someone goes to hell he only gets punishment for what he did, so 1000 sins is waaaay better than 10000 sins, after you finish your punishment, you go to heaven

unless you're a non-believer, then you'll never get out of hell.
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0
User avatar #135 to #53 - thinemother (12/28/2015) [-]
Well the non believer thing seems kinda mean.
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+2
User avatar #71 to #53 - shadownigga (12/28/2015) [-]
What is your religion?
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+6
User avatar #114 to #71 - raidaltamimi (12/28/2015) [-]
Islam.
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+5
User avatar #115 to #114 - shadownigga (12/28/2015) [-]
I never knew that about Islam. That's pretty cool
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0
User avatar #125 to #114 - imashitbricks (12/28/2015) [-]
Show em who's dick you sucked.
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+3
#59 to #53 - karenoniks (12/28/2015) [-]
If you will be in Heaven for eternity then being in hell even 20 gazillion sins isn't even gonna compare to eternity in Heaven.
What's the point of wanting to go to heaven then?
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0
User avatar #116 to #59 - raidaltamimi (12/28/2015) [-]
that's the point of religion bro, to keep you in the good side, and orders you to not do bad thing, that's the point.
you obey God and listen > you'll never go to hell
you make mistakes > you get punishment for it, but then heaven
you go full retard and **** everything up > you'll be wasting your 60 years in little fun only to go to hell for eternity afterwards

Simple equation.
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+2
#138 to #116 - karenoniks (12/28/2015) [-]
But you said only non believers don't go to heaven in your religion.
So no matter how many people you kill and how piece of **** of a human you are then you will go to heaven as long as you believe, which means that people worse than Hitler will be in the same place as saints given enough time.
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0
User avatar #148 to #138 - raidaltamimi (12/28/2015) [-]
I never said ONLY non-believers go to hell, there's so so sooo much things that god prohibits, if you end up doing it, frequently and don't regret of repent to god, this is other things that might get you permanently in hell

for example:
- worship another thing with god = Permanent
-killing innocent people with no reason = permanent
-promote and do Adultery/drugs/ = Permanent
-steal something = not permanent
-make out with woman who's not your wife but repent = not permanent
-kill ten men who's assaulting your life or your family = not even a small punishment


tl;dr no, not only non-believers go to hell.
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+6
User avatar #55 to #53 - naturalpanic (12/28/2015) [-]
i never got the "non believers will be in hell forever" thing. why does a mass murderer get into heaven at some point but the nicest person in the ******* world (who isn't a believer) has to stay in hell forever? this is a serious question btw.
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+20
#56 to #55 - masanori ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Because religion isn't about how good you are objectively. It's about control and homogeny among the population, so what matters is how well you fall in line and follow directions. That's what I think is the best answer to your question as there is no reasonable theological one.
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+4
#100 to #56 - skebaba (12/28/2015) [-]
Luckily, nobody goes to hell, since afterlife doesn't exist.
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+4
#118 to #100 - anon (12/28/2015) [-]
-Tips fedora-
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+4
User avatar #102 to #55 - oniseiji (12/28/2015) [-]
A mass murdering Christian gets double the punishment for his sins since he was a follower of Christ and committed a sin as high as murder.
According to what I've been taught, non-believers don't really get to make it because you've heard the gospel several times and chose to ignore it, but you will go to the final heaven after paradise. Sooo it's like this.
(Good/True) Believers
Earth ---> Paradise ---> Heaven
(False/Evil) Believers/Pastors and Priests that teach wrongly and do horrible things
Earth ---> No Paradise ---> Hell (It's worse for Priests and Pastors since they are in a high position to teach other followers)
(Good) Non-Believers
Earth ---> No Paradise ---> Heaven
(Horrible/Evil) Non-Believers
Earth ---> No Paradise ---> Hell

Pretty much how it goes.
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+1
User avatar #136 to #102 - thinemother (12/28/2015) [-]
I thought paradise was heaven. So what's paradise then?
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+1
User avatar #157 to #136 - oniseiji (12/29/2015) [-]
Paradise is kinda the place before heaven.
It's nothing like purgatory, but more like a place where believers who did well will go during the reign of Satan on Earth. People left on Earth will have a choice during this time to either join light or darkness. If you choose to be on the good side, during this time you will suffer. You will suffer on Earth, but then go and meet the reward in Heaven for it. If you fail, you join in the "happiness and joy" of that time and when time's up, you suffer for the rest of time. You won't have God's grace during this period, either.
Just something you infer after reading Revelations. Not the nicest thing, but gives everyone a second (but hard to earn) chance. That's why a lot of believers tend to stress on making others to believe so you won't have to go through that. Although, some are doing it for the wrong reasons, and some are doing it without this knowledge up above. Things like this are why priests and pastors get double if they mess up. Messing up this part could... **** I'm rambling.
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0
User avatar #158 to #157 - thinemother (12/29/2015) [-]
Oh well that clears that up, thanks
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+2
User avatar #82 to #55 - ronyx (12/28/2015) [-]
That's a way of forcing people to believe in God.
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+1
User avatar #117 to #55 - raidaltamimi (12/28/2015) [-]
a Mass murderer will never go to heaven, radical groups like al-qa'eda and ISIS use mix this with some religious thoughts and tell it to people so they can have people blowing themselves up for their own purposes

not convinced? tell me, if blowing yourself up is gonna get you the ticket to heaven along with your 72 virgins, tell why we don't see their leaders blowing themselves up, they don't want to go to heaven?

in every religion I know, suicide is gonna get you in hell, and that's it.
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+17
#73 - djjeroenski (12/28/2015) [-]
perfect
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+13
#65 - Lilstow (12/28/2015) [-]
you know, ever time I crop unneccessary tumblr garbage off of pictures, there's always some ****** tumblr faggot who actually feels the need to ask me why i care, so I'm just going to preemptively answer that question:
Why the **** would you credit a source that clearly had nothing to do with the content?
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+5
User avatar #104 - chaosraptor (12/28/2015) [-]
**chaosraptor used "*roll 1, cah answer*"**
**chaosraptor rolls A woman scorned.**
funnyhard 's fave sin
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+4
#49 - raunchyftw (12/28/2015) [-]
**raunchyftw used "*roll picture*"**
**raunchyftw rolled image** my biggest sin
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0
User avatar #103 to #49 - manholefreddy (12/28/2015) [-]
That's more or less Admin's fault.
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+2
#109 to #49 - anon (12/28/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**
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+11
#16 - semperkillusmc ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
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-2
User avatar #66 to #16 - listerthepessimist (12/28/2015) [-]
gotta love the Jackhammer Jesus
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+3
#89 - vladi (12/28/2015) [-]
You're seriously going to trust the ******* devil on that? More sins just means he's permitted to torture you more and harder. And that's for an eternity!
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-1
#111 to #89 - anon (12/28/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**
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-1
#137 to #89 - lordofhell (12/28/2015) [-]
**lordofhell used "*roll picture*"**
**lordofhell rolled image**But I just don't ******* care.
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0
#147 to #89 - Stevethewizard ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
There is no torture so unbearable that a person won't, given enough time, be able to get off to it. Given you're stuck there for an eternity, I'd say "enough time" is provided.
Hell isn't scary when you remember the human capacity for perversion. First you'll get used to it, then you'll get off on it. If it's removed, you'll still be able to get off. If it's replaced, you'll get something new to get off on.
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0
User avatar #151 to #147 - vladi (12/28/2015) [-]
I'd imagine Satan uses his magic to no let that happen. So it stays unbearable torture for eternity.
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+1
#153 to #89 - totallytito ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Okay let's look at things this way:

The devil encourages the fruit of knowledge, is more accepting of the consequences of free will, is willing to promise you an eternal life in which you continue to suffer instead of succumbing to the melancholy of having no struggle, fear, nor excitement that makes us remember that we are truly alive.

Imagine how terrifying it is to be in heaven; a place where you once again see the people you once missed, are in a dominantly happy land devoid of struggle, and are perpetually in a state of blind happiness.

Now let's see why this is terrifying:
The reason there is no struggle is because the principle of human free will has been taken away. People who had qualified to enter 'heaven' were not evaluated to have a change in personality later on.

People who had physical or mental disabilities that made up a large portion of their personalities have now been mostly wiped to a mostly clean slate. The chemical balances and influences that made up people's fundamental personality characteristics are now gone. The known human standards of mental disability, and God's standards for mental disability could have conflicting values, resulting in naturally mentally ill people populating heaven.

Many people who had lived their lives in pursuit of happiness have acquired almost everything they wanted, but not the desires that conflicted with God's or others interests.
How is this handled then? Are their conflicting interests erased or suppressed, or does God give him a perfectly convincing argument as to why that is wrong? What if his free will demands that he wants to be stubborn and defy God, is he getting thrown in hell for that?
Probably...
So it could either end in two ways; you are either brainwashed, or punished for eternity over a 2 hour argument. Is this state of blind happiness but an orgasmic never-ending lie?
Yes it is.

Now let's take a closer look at this perfect world. If anything, let's look at the perfect FIRST WORLD that we live in. We have radical social justice warriors who have been blessed with easygoing, simple, happy lives. Their lives are so devoid of struggle that they will pay extra attention to small offenses suchas passive aggression, subtle body language, or even rejection from a specific set of individuals. In an effort to feel like they can find a goal and make a difference in the world, they dedicate their lives to fighting 'evil' in the most convenient way imaginable; from behind a keyboard.

Now imagine a place(heaven) where even less struggle happens, where there are even fewer offenses, where everyone is artificially "free"? They probably wouldn't last because their interests involve harmful intent, and would therefore be brainwashed.

Now imagine ordinary every-day non-SJW's trying to live in a world where their aspiring personality has nothing to yearn for? They have everything they want, and anything less is unacceptable. What happens when every possibility within their interests is explored?
They will shut down, they will try to sleep.

They will put themselves into an eternal comatose state.
Eventually, others will soon follow after achieving satisfaction.
There is nothing left to do, nothing left to think. Every other thought would have been a conflict of others interests, and even if others agree, their God might not.


Now let's come back to hell for a bit.
We we would empathetically share our suffering.
We would repeatedly harm eachother in many ways, we would have the freedom to sin and conflict with eachother as much as our hearts could possibly desire. At the end of the day, we would continue to endure suffering of all kinds(both physical and mental).
But do you want to know what's great? That pain is a sign that we're alive.

Our free will would be unrestricted at the cost of comfort. It is also that suffering which will remind us to value eachothers acts of kindness and hospitality while we suffer in empathy.

That's a lot nicer than a coma.
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+2
User avatar #93 to #89 - pickanickname (12/28/2015) [-]
dont be a pussy cunt
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+2
#44 - tarabostes (12/28/2015) [-]
Stupido
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+2
#108 - hassoutobi (12/28/2015) [-]
In a not-so-distant future, at hell:

''So, what did you do?''-Random soul

*Satan shows up, we both give a *********** grin*

''This boy right here? Everything.''
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+1
#122 - nithorry (12/28/2015) [-]
YALL NEED JESUS
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+1
#70 - femf (12/28/2015) [-]
what's the high score down there anyway?
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0
User avatar #81 to #70 - ronyx (12/28/2015) [-]
Ask stallin
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0
#159 to #81 - femf (12/29/2015) [-]
i think it's spelled stallone
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0
User avatar #83 to #81 - mirukawa (12/28/2015) [-]
there were people with more kills than that
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0
User avatar #84 to #83 - ronyx (12/28/2015) [-]
Ask ghengi khan? Did I spell that right?
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+1
User avatar #85 to #84 - mirukawa (12/28/2015) [-]
nope
mao zedong
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0
User avatar #86 to #85 - ronyx (12/28/2015) [-]
mmmm
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0
#87 to #86 - bwiedieter (12/28/2015) [-]
mmmmmao zedong
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+1
User avatar #17 - Einsty ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
Sounds like something acolytes of sithrak would say.
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+1
#128 - oinos (12/28/2015) [-]
If not being a believer sends one to hell, then what would happen if you killed all believers and removed all information of their faiths? Would their second coming occur because there were no more to send to their gods? Or would it just mean we'd not have to hear nagging that we're going to hell anymore, since the victor writes the history?
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+1
#68 - zmranger ONLINE (12/28/2015) [-]
**zmranger used "*roll picture*"**
**zmranger rolled image**
Forgive me father for I have sinned.
<= With that thing there...
12>
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