Karl Pilkington Quotes 2. Part 1: funnyjunk.com/Karl+Pilkington+Quotes+1/funny-pictures/5250235/ O C. 1. "People say having kids is life changing, well that doe
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Karl Pilkington Quotes 2

1. "People say having kids is life changing, well
that doesn' t necessarily mean a good thing, does
it? I eould take one of my legs off, that would
change my life"
2. ''I' always wanted to kick a dusk up the arse."
s. "Do logs say they 'slept like a human"?"
4. "A dog has got human eyes"
s. "To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don' t need any
spoiling or looking after."
6. "Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how
mush are they doing'? Just give them another 3%
and make them water, it' s more useful"
T. "Does the brain control you, or are you
controlling the brain? I don' t know if i' m in charge
of mine."
s. "You know how they say people have six
senses'? There' s loads more than that. The ability
to feel someone looking at you, that' s been around
singe man and dinosaur were knockin' about."
woke up, I looked at Suzanne and she looked at
me. I said, "Did I tell you about the immune
system'?" Suzanne starting laughing, I said it' s
amazing. She said, "Not now."
10. “The Elephant Man would never have gotten up
and gone, 'Oh, God. Look at me hair today.”
1 1. "Treat the world like a head"
12. "You oan he an ugly baby and everyone goes
aaww innit naoe" -i" There was some women in a
cafe the other week that I was sat in, and she
ohme up and she sat down with her mate and
she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the
baby' s lovely." They said it' s got her lovely big
eyes, her really big hands and feet. Now that
doesn' t sound like a naoe baby to me. I felt like
sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I dont
know her, there' s only so mush you oan say to a
stranger. I dont know what kept me from sayin'
13. ''It' s no good operating on eyes if your eyes
are asleep"
14. ''It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob."
Kart tatts Ricky his response being poisoned
by an ohioans.
Views: 34632
Favorited: 49
Submitted: 08/09/2014
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#2 - pootybang (08/09/2014) [-]
Oh Karl, you beautiful son of a bitch.
#3 - digitalseat (08/09/2014) [-]
"I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse." :')
User avatar #7 - harbingerwolf (08/09/2014) [-]
Karl Pilkington is my spirit animal.
User avatar #5 - furiousmarshmellow (08/09/2014) [-]
But How Can Eyes Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't?
#16 - mewoveyouwongtime (08/10/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I was about to comment saying he's like a British Gavin Free

And then I realized my stupidity
#23 - sunnyday (08/10/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #18 - keatontheghostfox (08/10/2014) [-]
I read all these in Gavin's voice (from Achievement Hunter)... just seems like stuff he would say.
User avatar #14 - drl (08/10/2014) [-]
#7 axidently makes sense
because about a year after he said that they did a special on bbc and quoted him
the subconscious part of the brain plays a bigger role then we thought
im drunk right now so i dont even know whats happening
i feel sick
#10 - taternutz (08/10/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#22 - neoexdeath (08/10/2014) [-]
Bring it on, bitch.
User avatar #19 - moriorinvictus (08/10/2014) [-]
I Could Eat A Knob At Night Dance Remix
#15 - kez (08/10/2014) [-]
You gotta put these into context.

I only found most of this funny because i'm a massive KP fan and knew all the conversations.

For example, the 2nd quote. They were talking about things they would do if an asteroid was about to destroy earth and kill everyone, what they would do in their final moments. Steve Merchant was saying he might go mad and kill someone. Then they asked Karl and he said "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse"
User avatar #13 - leonhardt (08/10/2014) [-]
#7 had me like "Woah"
User avatar #12 - friednazi ONLINE (08/10/2014) [-]
I love Karl's curiosity and enthusiasm about ******** he reads on the Internet, and I wish I could share it with him. He is the greatest man of our time.
User avatar #11 - MrDeadiron (08/10/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Do people actually find this guy funny?
User avatar #9 - chaoskie (08/10/2014) [-]
number 7 really ****** with my mind... it's too late for this **** , time for bed
#8 - whycantibefunny (08/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I don't think this man is funny at all I didn't thumb down though because thats rewd
#6 - Womens Study Major (08/09/2014) [-]
this will make front page, i guarantee it
#4 - algorath (08/09/2014) [-]
Anyone wanting to watch more of this glorious mancunian, all of the ricky gervais show podcasts are up and comically animated on Youtube, just search for the ricky gervais show
User avatar #1 - ecto (08/09/2014) [-]
Karl Pilkington-Official Song I Can Eat A Knob At Night
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