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# Joking about maths #1

**By: calculatexplain**

Mathematics is made of so percent formulas, so percent proofs, and so percent imagination.

A mathematician is a device featureing coffee into theorems" (P. Eidos)

Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas.

An that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an

approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn' t care.

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of .

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whateverman say to them, they translate it into their own

language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. w Goethe

Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. w J. H. Poincare

What is a rigorous definition of rigor?

There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gilder has proved in

I do not think w therefore I am not.

Here is the illustration of this principle:

One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah,

good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "l think

not.", and promptly vanished.

Audiologist is a person who doesn' t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black manwhich isn' t there. (Charles R

Darwin)

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as

bananas and eatbananas.

A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to prove a deep result.

Stragety of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.

Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know whatyou are talking about.

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.

Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

The actual quote from the Webster dictionary:

trillion n

syn SCAD, gub( s), heap, jillion, load( s), million, oodles, quantities, thousand, wad( s)

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable forthe young, not too difficult, amusing, and without

peril to the state. (Plato)

The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician

looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks ardour shoes.

A bit of theology.

Math is the language God used to write the universe.

Asked if he believes in one God, a mathematician answered:

Yes, up to isomorphism."

God is real, unless proclaimed integer.

Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin

Luther)

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The

danger already exists that mathematicians have made a the devil to darken the spirit

and confine man in the bonds of Hell. (St. Augustine)

He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god. (Plato)

God geometrical" says Plato.

and here is the analytical continuation of this sayin _

Biologists thinkgeek are biochemist;

Biochemists thinkgeek are Physical Chemists,

Physical Chemists thinkgeek are Physicists,

Physicists thinkgeek are Gods,

And God thinks he is a Mathematician.

Physicists defer only to mathematicians, mathematicians defer only to God.

A mathematician is a device featureing coffee into theorems" (P. Eidos)

Addendum: American coffee is good for lemmas.

An that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an

approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn' t care.

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of .

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whateverman say to them, they translate it into their own

language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. w Goethe

Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. w J. H. Poincare

What is a rigorous definition of rigor?

There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gilder has proved in

I do not think w therefore I am not.

Here is the illustration of this principle:

One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah,

good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "l think

not.", and promptly vanished.

Audiologist is a person who doesn' t know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black manwhich isn' t there. (Charles R

Darwin)

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as

bananas and eatbananas.

A law of conservation of difficulties: there is no easy way to prove a deep result.

Stragety of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.

Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know whatyou are talking about.

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.

Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

The actual quote from the Webster dictionary:

trillion n

syn SCAD, gub( s), heap, jillion, load( s), million, oodles, quantities, thousand, wad( s)

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable forthe young, not too difficult, amusing, and without

peril to the state. (Plato)

The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician

looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks ardour shoes.

A bit of theology.

Math is the language God used to write the universe.

Asked if he believes in one God, a mathematician answered:

Yes, up to isomorphism."

God is real, unless proclaimed integer.

Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad and theology makes them sinful. (Martin

Luther)

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The

danger already exists that mathematicians have made a the devil to darken the spirit

and confine man in the bonds of Hell. (St. Augustine)

He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god. (Plato)

God geometrical" says Plato.

and here is the analytical continuation of this sayin _

Biologists thinkgeek are biochemist;

Biochemists thinkgeek are Physical Chemists,

Physical Chemists thinkgeek are Physicists,

Physicists thinkgeek are Gods,

And God thinks he is a Mathematician.

Physicists defer only to mathematicians, mathematicians defer only to God.

...

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