jokes & jokes & Hahahahaha
Tags: Spaghetti
The police asked was where
I taut,
I taut,
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48 comments displayed.
#2
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donfailed ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-] 
I'm against religion having anything to do with law, but that's kinda a bad comparison, even for a joke. He could've gone with the Jedi code being used on law enforcement.
#12 to #7
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severepwner (01/10/2016) [-] You mean ******* Star Wars? It's not any less obscure than the Green Lantern I assure you.
#16 to #12
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weinerdick (01/10/2016) [-] As a whole maybe, but anything other than just the movies might justifiably be considered somewhat obscure
#20 to #19
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weinerdick (01/10/2016) [-] I never watched a star wars movie except for the new one and only because I bought tickets for my girlfriend's birthday
#40 to #20
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donfailed ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-]
Well, spoiler alert Anakin AKA Not Darth Vader Yet, gets in a forbidden relationship with Padme. This is a no-no for Jedi. She gets pregnant and, pardon me since I honestly haven't seen the third movie yet, from what I understand Palpatine manipulates him through that to the dark side. He then proceeds to take part in the slaughter of the vast majority of Jedi and establishes the Empire's power.
#31 to #2
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ygdosst (01/10/2016) [-] Exactly.
You've got people virtually marching up to Washington with picket signs after half-assed reading a ****** summary of Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto.
The fact that people do the same with Jesus Christ's Biography shouldn't be surprising.
What's the big difference between perscribing to the ideals of a philosopher whether they were two-hundred, or two-thousand years old.
The real issue is that people are morons are perscribing to it wrongly, and usually only after including and making exceptions for their own ulterior motives.
You've got people virtually marching up to Washington with picket signs after half-assed reading a ****** summary of Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto.
The fact that people do the same with Jesus Christ's Biography shouldn't be surprising.
What's the big difference between perscribing to the ideals of a philosopher whether they were two-hundred, or two-thousand years old.
The real issue is that people are morons are perscribing to it wrongly, and usually only after including and making exceptions for their own ulterior motives.
#8
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capnkrunch (01/10/2016) [-]
Jesus christ, can comedians find anything else to talk about BESIDES religion? I like most of these guys but I cringe everytime they bring religion, it's so unoriginal and always just the same **** .
#30 to #22
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capnkrunch (01/10/2016) [-]
What? I don't think you understand, the vast majority of comedians DON'T rely on religion, but those who do just make me cringe. Even when the good ones bring up religion every once in a blue moon I cringe.
#42 to #30
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bendingtimeisgood ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-] So, you just can't appreciate a joke if it's about religion?
#44 to #42
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capnkrunch (01/10/2016) [-]
It just gets annoying, it feels too much like they are trying to feel superior for no reason. I don't know, it's just a matter of personal preference, nothing more. I would be fine with it if it wasn't so prevalent. I can laugh at the occasional joke on the internet but some comedy acts are just devoted to "lol god is stoopid christians r dum do they need an imaginary friend that much? lol" and that just annoys me. Not Christian btw, agnostic, just to clear that up if anyone thinks I am blindly defending my faith or anything.
#47 to #46
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capnkrunch (01/10/2016) [-]
Well I'm not, lol, just stating my opinion on the matter but as we all know there are usually only enough people on this site for 1 opinion to be greenthumbed and 1 to be redthumbed.
#13
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severepwner (01/10/2016) [-] Is the atheist circlejerk over yet? No? They still need to act like pseudo intellectuals? Ok I'll wait.
#36 to #13
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praemium ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-] You know you won the argument when your opponent tries to accuse you of the same thing you accuse them of. Nice try though, but the lack of religion and its poisons is nothing like religion, at all. Like polar opposite political factions, desperately trying to twist words to make their enemy seem more like the Nazis than themselves.
#37 to #21
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aranthusick (01/10/2016) [-]
Its interesting to me that atheists are the only people that are bound by the lack of belief in something.
You almost never see people patting each others backs about lack of interest in ice hockey or football for instance. ''Look how stupid those football fans are. Hah! were so much better than them! So glad WE don't do football!'' Its kinda of strange really.
I don't know why atheists on the internet are so determined of reminding everyone how stupid religion is in their mind. Maybe its a certain way of patting yourself in the back and feeling superior.
You almost never see people patting each others backs about lack of interest in ice hockey or football for instance. ''Look how stupid those football fans are. Hah! were so much better than them! So glad WE don't do football!'' Its kinda of strange really.
I don't know why atheists on the internet are so determined of reminding everyone how stupid religion is in their mind. Maybe its a certain way of patting yourself in the back and feeling superior.
#45 to #37
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YllekNayr (01/10/2016) [-] I agree with how silly that is.
But if over 80% of the world played football, and you sometimes had football players come to your door to tell you about how you should play football, or people on street corners saying that people who don't play football will go to hell, or people that shout "DEATH TO THOSE WHO DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL," or people that blow themselves up in the name of the NFL, then yeah, I do think people that don't play football might start talking about how they don't get what the deal is with football.
But if over 80% of the world played football, and you sometimes had football players come to your door to tell you about how you should play football, or people on street corners saying that people who don't play football will go to hell, or people that shout "DEATH TO THOSE WHO DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL," or people that blow themselves up in the name of the NFL, then yeah, I do think people that don't play football might start talking about how they don't get what the deal is with football.
#41 to #21
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bendingtimeisgood ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-] Swell with people having a circlejerk to complain about atheists circlejerking. Supplemented with fedora jokes.
#14 to #13
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robinwilliamson (01/10/2016) [-] You got some low ass standards for what qualifies as a "circlejerk"
#18 to #17
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severepwner (01/10/2016) [-] Well atheists are the only posting atheist oriented content. I don't post religious stuff because people will often not appreciate circle jerking about other beliefs are wrong. That cuts every way.
#24
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anon (01/10/2016) [-] this is true when you look at how money they pour into military compared to education or anything else for that matter
#35 to #24
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anon (01/10/2016) [-]
You know... Its not the government it was a government. Bush admin to be exact. He hired his friends some who never was a politic into his cabinet. Then they ****** up the country. Invaded a country. No child left behind plan. Raised military spending. ****** the economy nearly into a depression. Liquidated many plans, bills, and jobs that the country needed- like veterans care that we are having issues with. Destroyed the national surpluss. Lowered min wage. Bailed out large companies that didnt need it like the airlines. And much much more
#23
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stevoincognito (01/10/2016) [-] okay now I need to vent, I am keen to hear any arguments on my points but I want to express what I feel is valid.
Religion is always looked at and scoffed at by a lot of "intellectuals" because of the actions of the extreme, trying to force their opinions, trying to call people out for being vile and disgusting when they're really hurting no one, and shunning freedom and progress. They try to force dis-proven ideas, but remember that dis-proving, a "manifestation" of an idea of a "religion" is not to disprove "god" or the validity of aspects of religions.
I AGREE that these specific people are a burden, but not that the concept of "God" should be discredited, and not that all followers of a specific religion or quasi religious perspective are going to shun your rights to your beliefs, in-fact I would actually say the people generalizing the religious are just as bad.
Because....
What is our perspective really? at this point broadening vastly but actually very small.... There is an infinite amount of conceivable notions surrounding god, and then, there's what we see, and have learned as fact, despite how many of these notions may seem like stretches, they are so numerous and difficult to touch on with science that its really a stretch to count out each and every one completely.
Some of these pictures I read into depict the idea that man is gullible to believe these lies, but what if some people aren't just being gullible, aren't just spouting every word they hear to be fact, but are actively listening and learning from the world in alternative foreign perspectives.
What if they're actually just ambitious, what if the ambition is the meaning to their happiness, is the reason they're kind and compassionate, if you think that's difficult to hear just look up the sikh religion, they welcome and care for anybody from any religion and treat them like family, just part of their beliefs. Not only that but I know of many people from Atheist, Agnostic, and religious backgrounds, and I can tell you there's not a huge amount of consistency in their acceptance and kindness towards others. Its just people, some have developed to have that niceness, and others don't, it's not their fault, just the living condition of deviation.
You can look at the world and say "I'll stick to what I know" or you can look at it and say "there may be more, lets be adventurous and hope for the best, if not we can still find ways to make our lives meaningful"
Rant over :p
Irrelevant picture is me holding my friend Jagermeister,.... have fun out there people
Religion is always looked at and scoffed at by a lot of "intellectuals" because of the actions of the extreme, trying to force their opinions, trying to call people out for being vile and disgusting when they're really hurting no one, and shunning freedom and progress. They try to force dis-proven ideas, but remember that dis-proving, a "manifestation" of an idea of a "religion" is not to disprove "god" or the validity of aspects of religions.
I AGREE that these specific people are a burden, but not that the concept of "God" should be discredited, and not that all followers of a specific religion or quasi religious perspective are going to shun your rights to your beliefs, in-fact I would actually say the people generalizing the religious are just as bad.
Because....
What is our perspective really? at this point broadening vastly but actually very small.... There is an infinite amount of conceivable notions surrounding god, and then, there's what we see, and have learned as fact, despite how many of these notions may seem like stretches, they are so numerous and difficult to touch on with science that its really a stretch to count out each and every one completely.
Some of these pictures I read into depict the idea that man is gullible to believe these lies, but what if some people aren't just being gullible, aren't just spouting every word they hear to be fact, but are actively listening and learning from the world in alternative foreign perspectives.
What if they're actually just ambitious, what if the ambition is the meaning to their happiness, is the reason they're kind and compassionate, if you think that's difficult to hear just look up the sikh religion, they welcome and care for anybody from any religion and treat them like family, just part of their beliefs. Not only that but I know of many people from Atheist, Agnostic, and religious backgrounds, and I can tell you there's not a huge amount of consistency in their acceptance and kindness towards others. Its just people, some have developed to have that niceness, and others don't, it's not their fault, just the living condition of deviation.
You can look at the world and say "I'll stick to what I know" or you can look at it and say "there may be more, lets be adventurous and hope for the best, if not we can still find ways to make our lives meaningful"
Rant over :p
Irrelevant picture is me holding my friend Jagermeister,.... have fun out there people
#27 to #23
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anonmynous (01/10/2016) [-]
Well since you literally asked for it. Here it goes:
First off, no one is going to take you seriously when you use the word "intellectuals" in quotation marks.
Secondly, this is a post about comedy, not exactly somewhere to empty your philosophical purse.
Im-going-to-stop-numbering-these-points-edly, How much of that jagermeister did you have to drink when you wrote this? becuase I have no idea what in the hell you're actually trying to say. I can only presume it's slightly more than I had before I wrote this response.
Fourthedly, how is questioning the status quo equivalent to 'shunning freedom'? It sounds like you ripped that straight from conservapedia.
Fiftieth point.
"What is our perspective really? at this point broadening vastly but actually very small..."
-Jayden Smith
Number G. You can respond to this if you want but I will not 'cause I'm about to pass out into a pool of my own vomit.... and to all a good night!
First off, no one is going to take you seriously when you use the word "intellectuals" in quotation marks.
Secondly, this is a post about comedy, not exactly somewhere to empty your philosophical purse.
Im-going-to-stop-numbering-these-points-edly, How much of that jagermeister did you have to drink when you wrote this? becuase I have no idea what in the hell you're actually trying to say. I can only presume it's slightly more than I had before I wrote this response.
Fourthedly, how is questioning the status quo equivalent to 'shunning freedom'? It sounds like you ripped that straight from conservapedia.
Fiftieth point.
"What is our perspective really? at this point broadening vastly but actually very small..."
-Jayden Smith
Number G. You can respond to this if you want but I will not 'cause I'm about to pass out into a pool of my own vomit.... and to all a good night!
#48 to #27
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stevoincognito (01/11/2016) [-] I'm just saying what I want to really, yea I understand how that would be an annoying thing to read if you have the wrong mind, after all you came here for the funny and im killing your buzz, fair point.
I miss my friend Jaggermeister, I drunk him like 2 years ago, I couldn't think of a picture to attach so just went with a random one I like This is me now, picture taken a few days ago, maybe yesterday.....
They can not take me seriously because of words I use if they want :p I prefer to reason content, not deliverance.
"how is questioning the status quo equivalent to 'shunning freedom'?"
Its not. When I said that I kind of just mean't the people who would say so many things cant be done because their religion says not to, easy example - homosexuality. Where did I say it was equivalent?
"What is our perspective really? at this point broadening vastly but actually very small..."
-Jayden Smith
Can you link me to that reference? because I googled all around to see if I had accidentally quoted him without knowing, and cant find jack, I search the quote, I search similar things, I even add Jaden Smith (who I think you mean) or just look up his quotes, nothing. I think your imagining **** , especially as you cant spell his name apparently.
I miss my friend Jaggermeister, I drunk him like 2 years ago, I couldn't think of a picture to attach so just went with a random one I like This is me now, picture taken a few days ago, maybe yesterday.....
They can not take me seriously because of words I use if they want :p I prefer to reason content, not deliverance.
"how is questioning the status quo equivalent to 'shunning freedom'?"
Its not. When I said that I kind of just mean't the people who would say so many things cant be done because their religion says not to, easy example - homosexuality. Where did I say it was equivalent?
"What is our perspective really? at this point broadening vastly but actually very small..."
-Jayden Smith
Can you link me to that reference? because I googled all around to see if I had accidentally quoted him without knowing, and cant find jack, I search the quote, I search similar things, I even add Jaden Smith (who I think you mean) or just look up his quotes, nothing. I think your imagining **** , especially as you cant spell his name apparently.
#4
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rudeobuteo (01/10/2016) [-] George Carlin has rarely been funny to me, and Patton Oswald has never been funny. Otherwise good comp OP.
#38 to #4
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perfectblue (01/10/2016) [-]
Agreed, he's clearly a clever dude but everytime I see clips of him doing stand up it's just.... not funny
#10 to #4
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fiveblackmen (01/10/2016) [-] George Carlin's early stuff was really funny and his later stuff was far more angry and about how ****** up society had become. Patton Oswald is really just hit or miss for me. He can have one joke that is good followed by another that simply isn't. As a whole, I would say he is mediocre.
