Jesus Moses. . Jesus Moses
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#4 - heartlessrobot
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Fun little tidbit about the whole Moses thing. Whenever Moses performed one of the miracles, he would hand the staff to Aaron, who was supposedly a wizard, like Solomon the Great, Grigori Rasputin, and Aleister Crowley. The only thing Moses ever really did was talk to a flaming shrubbery and make Aaron drop out of the story after he caught him leading the worship of a golden calf idol, which is believed to be the totem of the spirit that granted him the power in the first place.
User avatar #7 to #4 - srskate
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(10/30/2013) [-]
Since when did Rasputin do ****?
User avatar #10 to #7 - heartlessrobot
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
He was a healer. Not only did he suppress the one kids internal bleeding, but he was known for other miracles as well. Also, minor mind-control and illusions. Plus, he was poisoned with enough cyanide to kill 10 elephants, shot multiple times, he then threw a full grown man (by the mans throat) across a room, stabbed even more, bludgeoned, then thrown down a flight of stairs. He then led a short chase down an icy street pursued by a car at whatever was top speed for those cars at the time (he was on foot) before slipping and being struck by the automobile. Still alive at that point, he was wrapped in chains and thrown in a half-frozen river. Later, his corpse was found about 100 meters from the river, as though he had crawled out. Then, when a blind woman was given his corneas in a transplant, she knew exactly how he had died and who killed him.
User avatar #46 to #10 - srskate
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(10/30/2013) [-]
Claimed to be a healer: Little Alexi didn't get healed.
Minor mind control can be translated into persuasiveness
The theories on the cyanide are endless, e.g. the cyanide was expired, served to him with large quantities of sugar which is a known sort of antidote
The story of his death is also embellished, mostly by his killers, but the human body has shown amazing abilities while in survival situations
The blind woman story, I've personally never heard, but the words of one person aren't always reliable.
User avatar #49 to #46 - heartlessrobot
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(10/30/2013) [-]
The cornea part from pulled from a "Tales from the Crypt" magazine.
User avatar #50 to #49 - srskate
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/31/2013) [-]
they don't sound like a reliable source tbh
User avatar #18 to #10 - motherfuckingkenji
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(10/30/2013) [-]
Is that uh....
Is that from something?
I gotta know.
User avatar #48 to #18 - heartlessrobot
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(10/30/2013) [-]
The cornea part from pulled from a "Tales from the Crypt" magazine.
User avatar #20 to #18 - meganinja
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(10/30/2013) [-]
That's from history.
User avatar #21 to #20 - motherfuckingkenji
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(10/30/2013) [-]
Ah yes, biblical history. The most epic kind of sci-fi.
Star Wars ain't got **** on dat ****.
User avatar #22 to #21 - meganinja
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(10/30/2013) [-]
What the **** are you talking about?

This happened during the Russian revolution. I'm pretty sure not even the most devout Christain will say there were cars during the biblical era.
User avatar #24 to #22 - motherfuckingkenji
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(10/30/2013) [-]
I don't even know what you're talking about.
I was trying to make a joke.
If you meant my original question, I wanted to know if it was from something, because it sounds very much like an episode of The Twilight Zone.
User avatar #25 to #24 - meganinja
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(10/30/2013) [-]
Rasputin was the Russian Royal Family's personal healer. What heartlessrobot said, did, at least to some extent happen. It is known that he was at least poisoned, shot, and thrown in an icy river. The rest is uncertain, as is the part where supposedly he lived to get out of the river. This has nothing to do with the bible, it's ACTUAL history.
User avatar #26 to #25 - motherfuckingkenji
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(10/30/2013) [-]
I know that whole story about Rasputin (come on, brah, I played Psychonauts), but it got the most suspicious when the cornea transplant was mentioned.

****, man, I should have been in bed 2 hours ago.
User avatar #8 to #4 - srskate
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
other fun fact: Aaron is only responsible for the snake staff ordeal and the first plague
Rest was Moses.
User avatar #9 to #4 - IamSofaKingdom
Reply +52 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
Actually it was all just done on the fly and someone happened to be nearby who knew how to write and had lots of papyrus nearby to record the whole thing. None of it was scripted.
#16 - pappathethird
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#42 to #16 - imnotkickthecat
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(10/30/2013) [-]
#13 - fromtheinternets
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
>le moses epic trolled le jesus XDDDDXXDXDDXDXDDXDDXDXDDXDDZXDFDXDXDDXDX mose is le maser trole 2011
#17 to #13 - nebuchadnezzaurus
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
I've gotten over it
#30 - trollerfin
Reply -11 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
relevant because of troll
User avatar #33 to #30 - herecomesjohnny
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
......so who did he "troll"
User avatar #35 to #33 - Dwarf
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(10/30/2013) [-]
himself
User avatar #32 to #30 - olisaurus
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
relevant because of cancer
#28 - olem
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
User avatar #31 - vinylshark
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
What would happen when the water goes back?
Would it crush his legs?
#14 - flitzepeng
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(10/30/2013) [-]
#2 - huntertde
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
Why does he not just walk on air? There is water in the air i.e. water vapor.
Why does he not just walk on air? There is water in the air i.e. water vapor.
User avatar #27 to #2 - iwebby
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(10/30/2013) [-]
water in the air internet.explorer. water vapor.
User avatar #37 - icameheretotroll
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/30/2013) [-]
The sad part is, the comment section is predictable when it comes to old contents with trollfaces shopped into them
#19 - anon id: 15dc127f
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(10/30/2013) [-]
i got an add for hebrew lessons on thois post