Jam. It's not a video, calm down... Big rig carrying fruit crashes on 210 Freeway, creates jam magma: NC/ 21 EAST Awe weer Somebody waited their whole lite for  this is my jam
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[ 146 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #2 - johncaveson **User deleted account**
Reply +177 123456789123345869
(10/25/2013) [-]
You know, I can imagine a guy sat at a desk in a News office.
He's bored. His relationship with his wife is failing. He's scraping life.
He hears the ping of an email on his screen, though he doesn't do anything immediately.
He gets spam all the time. It's probably nothing major.
With a sigh, he moves his mouse over the email, and clicks.
His eyes scan over the report, allowing a slight smirk at the weirdness of the incident.
After all, it's not everyday a lorry full of fruit turns over and blocks a whole swathe of the freeway.
He leans back again, and resumes his pondering of life.
...
Suddenly, there is a change in his demeanour. A sudden spark.
He leans forward, and reads the report again. And again. And a third time.
He falls off his chair to his knees...tears of joy falling down his face.
He knows what the headline for this will be.
And he knows, with this feeling of elation in his heart...
Not that OP was a faggot...
Not everybody was walking the dinosaur...
...that everything will now be ok...
User avatar #121 to #2 - nighkey
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I would so RP with you any day. o_o And I don't just say that to anyone. XD
#129 to #121 - johncaveson **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#120 to #2 - nighkey
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
My daughter would absolutely love you.
#12 to #2 - trivdiego
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
i saw your profile picture and I thought you were a friend who I met on this website. He's gone now
#26 to #12 - Orc
+1 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #46 to #26 - indonesia
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
his profile picture is same as trivdiego friend who he met on this website, but he died
User avatar #84 to #46 - doublicious
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
oh.
#4 to #2 - adu
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/25/2013) [-]
That was beautiful...
User avatar #3 to #2 - genocidalgenesis
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/25/2013) [-]
that was great, how thought about taking up writing lessons? like creative writing. maybe become an author or something? unless you already are one.
User avatar #131 to #3 - johncaveson **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I would, I'm doing a Maths Degree at the moment... I'm a Dungeon Master in D&D, so I have to narrate stuff like this a lot.

Thanks for the compliment though.
User avatar #141 to #131 - genocidalgenesis
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I hope things turn out for the best afterwards, mate.
User avatar #9 to #2 - brizzle
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
i had a very similar thought, except i diverged to here before your last sentence:

"immediately after typing the headline and sending it to his editor, he walks up the remaining seven flights of stairs between his 14th floor office and the roof, grinning all the while. as he approaches the edge, his smile now spills over audibly into laughter. the events of the last 32 years flash before his eyes in no particular order:
- he emerges into light, and he is born
- he is 27, and facing the reality of his pending divorce
- he is 8 and has just fallen off of his bicycle, breaking his arm
- he is 17 and losing his virginity to the prom queen
- he is 6 and playing pirates vs. ninjas with his neighbor
each moment bleeds into the next and his smile broadens into the grin of an all-knowing shaman, or a visibly happy dog: all teeth bared at once. it is the maniacal grin of a villain and the shy smile of a child who has been caught staring at his first crush.
the wind bites at his cheeks and the first cold droplets of water strike his forehead as he turns his face toward the darkening skies. a bright flash of lightning singes itself into his retinas and he closes eyes fast to preserve the image. it is the last image he sees as pushes forward into the freedom of his gravitational weight and those of the memories of his life before this moment.
the synapses in his brain are suddenly halted and he tries to open his eyes, but he is unable. the irony of the sudden jam in his mind is not lost on him and he has enough time to smile even wider just prior to his impact into the sidewalk below...
#106 to #9 - spyisspy
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#53 to #9 - ianmcgunny
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#11 - include
Reply +62 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Is that punishable by law?    
   
If so, what's his punishment?
Is that punishable by law?

If so, what's his punishment?
User avatar #13 to #11 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
What are you talking about
#14 to #13 - include
Reply +100 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Punishable   
   
Punishment.
Punishable

Punishment.
User avatar #44 to #14 - sketchulator
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Trei.
#57 to #14 - afrodemon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #15 to #14 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Punishment for what
#24 to #15 - queefymcbubblebutt
Reply +40 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#41 to #24 - legomanjaimy
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
pls dont make dis a Arrogant train
#56 to #41 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Why not?
#142 to #56 - legomanjaimy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Is becuz loads of arrogants,dontyathink
#143 to #142 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#144 to #143 - legomanjaimy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I see you Ran out of Arrogants Pretty fast
#145 to #144 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
You were arrogant to think such thing.
You were arrogant to think such thing.
#146 to #145 - legomanjaimy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Oh im sorry surrrrr
#147 to #146 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Deal with it.
#148 to #147 - legomanjaimy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Why Should i,i Made you this T-Shirt....
#149 to #148 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Oh thank you! Unfortunately this is my last arrogant.
#150 to #149 - legomanjaimy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
PLEASE TELL ME IF YOUR ******* HAPPY OR NOT
PLEASE TELL ME IF YOUR ******* HAPPY OR NOT
#151 to #150 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I'm the happiest person on the world
#152 to #151 - legomanjaimy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Das good to Hear
#155 to #152 - queefymcbubblebutt
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#17 to #15 - include
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
"PUN"-ishment.
"PUN"-ishment.
#30 to #17 - allnamesrtaken
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
It actually took me until this comment to understand.
User avatar #31 to #17 - trollinggenius
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
imagine actually doing that with your eyelids where youre clawing the inside of them with fingernails and stretching them out far to where the underside drys out.
#60 to #31 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account**
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
**** you for putting that image in my head.
User avatar #18 to #17 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I get it you are horrible at making jokes
#19 to #18 - include
Reply +22 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Thanks, bitch.
User avatar #20 to #19 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
You are welcome
#27 to #20 - professoridle
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Audience screams with laughter at defender's witty repartee
User avatar #39 to #20 - mrchubs
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
You're just looking for red thumbs now.
User avatar #49 to #20 - walcorn
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
lol
I like you
User avatar #63 to #49 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I like you
#25 to #20 - Orc
-6 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#36 to #18 - thatoneiranianguy
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Now now now, hang on here.

Just because you're too retarded to understand a joke like that doesn't mean it's bad. The only thing it means is, well you're retarded.
User avatar #62 to #36 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Cool
User avatar #32 to #18 - doesthislookunsure
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
10+ people beg to differ
User avatar #64 to #32 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Good for those 10 people
#28 to #18 - anon id: e06b6a3b
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Yeah of course you do buddy.
#34 to #15 - cosmicapprentice
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#37 to #15 - sunnyday
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
...Are you serious?
...Are you serious?
#66 to #15 - jimmytwoshoes
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
are you stupid?
#153 to #13 - guanyu
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/27/2013) [-]
Since when do people get red thumbed to oblivion for not getting a joke?   
 I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
Since when do people get red thumbed to oblivion for not getting a joke?
I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
User avatar #154 to #153 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/27/2013) [-]
Not sure, it has been going on for awhile with the newer users they see a red thumb and follow suit without thinking. It shows how a good portion of this site thinks and it doesn't paint a very flattering picture.
#65 to #13 - countbleck
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I don't think you deserve a blue name.
User avatar #67 to #65 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
That's your opinion
#68 to #67 - countbleck
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
It's not with a retarded brain like that.
It's not with a retarded brain like that.
#128 to #68 - wobblewub
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
You guys should just... stop.   
   
You're both acting like children.
You guys should just... stop.

You're both acting like children.
User avatar #130 to #128 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I've tried to get the ****** to stop but hes being too retarded from that moment.

Sorry for the continuous argument but this ***** is just making non-stop nonsense and won't stop stopping an argument.
User avatar #132 to #130 - wobblewub
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
>Tried to get him to stop.

Just don't talk to him, use that brain friend. Neither of you will win this argument.
User avatar #133 to #132 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
B-....okay.

Sorry for being such an illiterate cunt for this argument.
#136 to #133 - wobblewub
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
You made the right choice.
You made the right choice.
#137 to #136 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Friendfist?   
   
 sorry for unrelated gif i dont have the brofist gif
Friendfist?

sorry for unrelated gif i dont have the brofist gif
User avatar #69 to #68 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I could care less what you say
#70 to #69 - countbleck
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
>implying you could care less of what you say even though you ****** up pretty bad
User avatar #71 to #70 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
**** happens, I thought it was a ****** joke
User avatar #72 to #71 - countbleck
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
"What are you talking about"
"Punishment or what"
"I get it your horrible at making jokes."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
All of these are jokes to you? Sounds like pretending to be a retard or actually being retarded to our minds.
User avatar #73 to #72 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Maybe I am
#74 to #73 - countbleck
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Yes, you actually are.
User avatar #75 to #74 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
As I say I don't care for your opinion it doesn't have any impact on my life
#76 to #75 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
What do you mean using the word opinion?

You have ****** up pretty bad, and over a few hundreds out of a thousand, that's not a joke. It's you being retarded, even though this joke to you was still "******" but beyond from that.

How's the weather in your imagination land?
User avatar #78 to #76 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
What don't you get about I don't care. I don't care my comment got red thumbs , I don't care the people of funny junk are calling me stupid. Been here long enough to understand that their opinions don't affect life outside the internet. If you keep responding I will keep telling you I don't care till it sinks in.
#80 to #78 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
If you don't care about "What are you talking about" or any of this post is not considered a joke or not being by that far from that, I will say to you farewell and your failure and you r retardedness. And I hope you don't deserve a blue name for this so called "joke" of yours.

Farewell, retard, and I will see you in the red seas.
User avatar #81 to #80 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I don't care they are virtual thumbs
User avatar #83 to #81 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
P.S, red thumbs might get you banned.

Now good day sir.
User avatar #85 to #83 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Who cares just start over.
User avatar #86 to #85 - countbleck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
And admin will find your tied IPs.

Also, I'll keep responding to you because I do that. If you want this arguement to stop, don't respond and I will be fine with that.
User avatar #138 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Why do you keep giving me your opinion after I stated I didn't care for it.
User avatar #134 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
My point is I didn't care what you say or think but you responded anyway because from some strange reason when you tell someone you don't care what they think or say they continue talk to you and giving their opinion. All this could of been avoided by you understanding I don't care what you think.
User avatar #135 to #134 - countbleck
-1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
>I didn't care.

Okay, just ******* stop. Don't care or not, just stop. You are still retarded, but I quit this argument.

Goodbye.
User avatar #124 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Your stupidity all makes sense now it was an attempt to be cool by acting like a troll.
#127 to #124 - countbleck
-1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
>implying you were so smart that time for your so called "joke".

What do you mean "being cool"? I was never cool. I was ******* proving your point, dumbass.
User avatar #122 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm not a troll you are just using feed the troll as a cover for responding to my comment about me not caring what you think thus causing this whole argument.
User avatar #123 to #122 - countbleck
-1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Apparantly you did feed the troll by responding my first comment. And all this wouldn't have happened in the first place if you didn't ******* respond.

No, I'm not using it as a cover. I am apparently the predator for this argument and you are prey.
User avatar #118 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Or what you could of done was when I stated I didn't care for your opinion was understood what that meant and not responded its as simple as that.
#119 to #118 - countbleck
-1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Ever heard of feeding the troll?
Ever heard of feeding the troll?
User avatar #115 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I don't care just killing some time before I have to go do some ******** I was voluntold to do on my day off
#116 to #115 - countbleck
-1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
If you wouldn't care, you shouldn't have responded in the FIRST place. You could've ignored me a while ago and move on to what you are doing. It's that simple.

When I first responded to you, I was just saying that your retarded because what you say was retarded. If you didn't care about that, then ignore. Simple task.
User avatar #113 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Why do you care so much that I don't care.
#114 to #113 - countbleck
-1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
That's exactly MY question to you.
User avatar #111 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
So you can win an argument on the Internet and feel better about yourself. Sure no problem
User avatar #112 to #111 - countbleck
0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
I didn't win, include did.

I was also to prove you a point, but if you don't care, fine. Go **** yourself with a so called joke or opinion for all I care.

Again, if you want to stop this arguement anymore, then stop responding. And I don't care if I win.
User avatar #109 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Not that hard of a concept to grasp I do not care what you or the rest of funny junk thinks.
User avatar #110 to #109 - countbleck
0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
If you don't care, then stop responding.
User avatar #107 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
So I am typing on an ipad
User avatar #108 to #107 - countbleck
0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
K
User avatar #104 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
i don't care what the funny junk community thinks most of the, are children
#105 to #104 - countbleck
+1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Aaaaand you ****** up.
Aaaaand you ****** up.
User avatar #98 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
It's just a website no more no less
User avatar #100 to #98 - countbleck
+2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Not even close to being a reasonable website. A website filled with cancer.
Now, I don't care for your opinion, even though the whole FJ community thinks your opinion is ****. But that doesn't stop me from not considering it a website and considering it cancer.

also welcome to funnyjunk carrying with 2 ****** opinions
User avatar #93 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
It's just a website, now I know you are the over zealous fanboys that have infected this site.
User avatar #96 to #93 - countbleck
0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
It's not a website. it's cancer.

What do you mean over zealous? I came here to FJ so I can share, make jokes, and stuff. IDGAF about admin or any of that kind of news **** here in FJ. And I know 9gag is a cancerous website with a VERY purposeful reason.
User avatar #87 to #86 - defender
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
So what I will just go to 9gag and imgur
#90 to #87 - countbleck
0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
9gag? Now you REALLY don't deserve a blue name.
#23 - include
Reply +46 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#29 - josieabby
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#1 - moechler
Reply -8 123456789123345869
(10/25/2013) [-]
I hope there were only puny fruits that no one wants involved.
#16 to #1 - yoshiisking
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#51 - justkarasu
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
#79 - truekiller
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
User avatar #38 - tuckthisphit
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM
User avatar #45 to #38 - revengeforfreeze
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Come on islam and welcome to the jam come on islam if you wanna... BLAm!
#8 - include
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Such a wonderful pun.
Such a wonderful pun.
#7 - include
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#35 to #7 - cosmicapprentice
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#54 to #35 - Gaulli
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2013) [-]