I've been charged with simple assault by my mother. I was kicked out of my house due to a temporary restraining order and have been relocated to my uncle's. The 2nd was trial day. After being offered to seek mental treatment, because the judges' opinions about me are for some reason on par with the evidence presented, I unknowingly extended the trial to December 7, forcing me to live with my **** bag uncles even longer. I'm fairly certain one of them slapped me in my sleep because I had what seemed to be a dream where he did and I woke up with a heavy feeling cheek.
The food is either hot dogs, beans, and occasionally chips. There's cereal too, but that's the only thing that's not much different. There's 3 of us and one bathroom so I can either further damage my bladder holding it in or pee in a cup and pour it in the sink. We get dish soap every now and then but when there isn't any, I just use hot water since germs can't survive in extreme temperatures.
Today, I went to my assigned psychiatrist. That was my 3rd visit: I was late the first time and not allowed in and yesterday they had to make sure my insurance was good. I answered her suicide questionnaire. Some were easier to answer than others but I didn't let that hold me back. I'm scheduled to return on Monday for a group session which I'd rather not do but they're the professionals and I'm mentally ill so **** all.
Today, the house inspector was in town and that translated into me having to leave the house from 10 to 5. It also happened to be cold, which was especially noticeable on the walk home. I could have waited for the bus but since it could have gotten there anytime and I didn't feel like taking my phone out to type and find out when, probably a bad idea, I walked. However I only packed hoodies not thinking I'd be in this **** hole until December. I was pretty ******* chill. In the worst way possible.
When my fingers froze dick solid, I decided to drop by home to get some warmies. I'm banned from my house by proxy, not by law. As long as my mom's not home, I can pop in and out any time I want. Take that you old bitch. After a beam struggle with my dexterity and an awkward reunion with my neighbor, I entered my house alone for the second time. I walked up the stairs to my room and opened the door.
Something caught me attention. I briefly entered a trance before being filled with intense rage.
My room was organized; the clothes were neatly folded and there was a nice empty space next to my bed.
Neatoroonie goonie, except my room was always messy as ****.
I suspected that they were already preparing for me to move out, but in hindsight it could be my mom being a neat freak despite me telling her not to touch my **** since forever. However, the first possibility threw me into a murderous fit. So much that I looked at gore in preparation for bashing their skulls in with a hammer. I staved it off, but they're just a few blocks away. I could walk over, kill them, and take the bus to the next city before the cops show up. Avoiding them is easy since they don't know what I'd be wearing but I might burn down my parent's and uncle's houses just to be safe. And if I can't take the bus, I've got plenty of hiding spots.
I shouldn't be telling anyone this, but there's a very real possibility I might just lose it. My cardio vascular health is suffering due to excessive emotional repression and trouble falling asleep. I can't enjoy things as much or think clearly because of all this excess anger. My parents have made it very clear that they don't care about my well being and are willing to translate that into passive aggressive action. If you're going to tell me your don't give a **** about me, try to kill me, call the cops on me, attempt to start fights with me, and get me kicked out of my home with lies, then you have no right to be surprised if I suddenly stop by for some tea and brain scones. I've had enough of this **** and being the bigger man is overrated.
Oh, and before you accuse me of being some edgy attention whore, let me reiterate that they're within walking distance and are 50+ while I'm a strapping young lad in the prime of his life who's got years of athleticism and MMA+weapons training, the latter which they supported. It'll take less than 3 minutes to do them in. This sounds really edgy but as f now, they're both in serious danger. The main thing keeping me is the cold combined with buses running slower the later it gets, but ducking the cops and stealing food is easy. I could also leave my uncle's house in tact and use it as a cabinet.
I'm supposed to be telling this to my psychiatrist right now but I don't feel like going back to the hospital. If sleeping it off doesn't work, then I'm definitely doing it either tomorrow afternoon or Monday since buses are slow on the weekends.
Please don't **** post. I'm not in the right state of mind and the smallest thing could set me off.
Or maybe do **** post so if you're interested in some morbid that would put gavinthesociopath out of business.
I don't care about right and wrong anymore. The only thing that matters is how I feel. If you don't care how I feel, then you're wrong.