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its not my fucking temper

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her
husband 's temper.
The Doctor asks: "What' s the problem?
The woman says: "Doctor, I den' t know what to do.
Every day my husband seems to Eese his temper
for no reason, It scares me."
The Doctor says: "l have a sure forthat. When it
seems that your husband is getting angry, just take
a glass of water and start swishing it in your
mouth. Just swish and swish but den' t swallow it
until he either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the
doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: "Lectorthat was a brilliant idea!
Every time my husband started losing it, I swished
with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed
right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing,
It' s keeping yew mouth shut that does the trick".
...
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Views: 69314
Favorited: 153
Submitted: 08/11/2015
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[ 125 comments ]
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95 comments displayed.
#3 - sixty (08/11/2015) [-]
User avatar #124 to #3 - luluwho (08/13/2015) [-]
Nice Thumb Count
User avatar #83 to #3 - BroadSword (08/12/2015) [-]
This comment is the reason why Funnyjunk is just simply the best
User avatar #123 to #91 - BroadSword (08/13/2015) [-]
Haha genuinely laughed out loud at that. Thanks for that
User avatar #2 - thelizardlord (08/11/2015) [-]
HA HA HA WOMEN!
#4 to #2 - fiahhawt (08/11/2015) [-]
HA HA HA "WOMEN"
#6 to #4 - anon (08/11/2015) [-]
User avatar #28 to #27 - redbannerman (08/12/2015) [-]
AAAAND I SAVED THE THUMBNAIL
#48 to #28 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
For future use.
User avatar #82 to #48 - redbannerman (08/12/2015) [-]
Thanks, baby.
#56 to #27 - jallelthalas (08/12/2015) [-]
Best I could find without the extra stuff on top
User avatar #7 to #6 - roxasftw (08/11/2015) [-]
I did it for you Anon
User avatar #8 to #7 - frenzyhero (08/11/2015) [-]
remember that time
that time you were wrong
and you made a vocaroo about it

because that's all I can remember you for now.
User avatar #70 to #8 - roxasftw (08/12/2015) [-]
Link pl0x?
Or can you remember more about it?
User avatar #71 to #70 - frenzyhero (08/12/2015) [-]
We were arguing about something and you were misunderstanding what I said, until you finally realized you misread my post entirely.
User avatar #73 to #71 - roxasftw (08/12/2015) [-]
Yeah, I think I was tired, like 3 days up tired
User avatar #74 to #73 - frenzyhero (08/12/2015) [-]
I'm not gonna look through 200 pages of comments. I can't even remember what month it was.
: (
User avatar #75 to #74 - roxasftw (08/12/2015) [-]
Its all good <3
User avatar #72 to #71 - frenzyhero (08/12/2015) [-]
I'll start looking but I've got a hell of a lot a comments.
User avatar #68 to #8 - thenoahgoesree ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
sauce?
User avatar #10 to #6 - yugiohkris ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-]
I'm saving this for skeltor and falloutsurvior,thanks anon.
User avatar #11 to #6 - floran (08/11/2015) [-]
We are with you anon
#106 to #6 - fiahhawt (08/12/2015) [-]
I block people who've acted like sociopaths, and not exclusively who've replied to me or not.

Sorry I hurt your wittle feewings anon.
#107 to #24 - fiahhawt (08/12/2015) [-]
quadriplegics have more fun
#21 to #4 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
why's everyone downvoting you?
User avatar #47 to #21 - centraldogma (08/12/2015) [-]
he blocked someone and got called out for being a little bitch
#98 to #47 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
I blocked someone once for *********** on my content, then he replied with almost exact same thing on my comment on a different content. I got -200 thumbs for not wanting ponies in diapers on my posts.
User avatar #103 to #98 - centraldogma (08/12/2015) [-]
I get where you're coming from, and I can understand people who block *********** and spammers, but even then - *********** are gonna ******** , whether or not they can use their account to do it, and if someone's really dedicated to thumbing all your posts down, they can just make an alt account, so why bother? It seems like blocking only indicates that you're a little bitch who gets #triggered by seeing things and people you don't like.

I dunno, I got blocked out of the blue for the first time by some faggot who thought I was stalking him for no reason, so now I'm saltier about blocking than I once was. Still, I've never liked it
#113 to #103 - karenoniks (08/12/2015) [-]
That's not how *********** works of Funnyjunk, if you block them once, they will never come back, I blocked fedoralover, he never came back to my content, I blocked learmy, itumblr, leberkase and whole army of negative level posters.
They never came back.
Why?
It's because they want replies, if they are posting from their alternate account then I'll block it too, if they have too many alternate accounts they will not see all replies, and they will never see replies when they post as anon. I know that learmy and leberkase are the same person, blocked both of his accounts, he never bothered to make third and he's out.
People like me and ************ who block *********** help the website, imagine a new user, coming to frontpage and seeing ponies in soiled diapers, this is not how we gain ad ravenue, and this one of the reason this site was dying, it's because people were catching bait, and bumping people up to top comments with their "brilliant" replies. This site lost bunch of ad money during the age of *********** , if people never blocked them then this site would be in even worse condition. It never had to happen, if people weren't so negatively biased about blocking then maybe, just maybe we would be in better condition than we are now. I don't know what happened that they stopped, but I was seeing more and more deleted ********** comments, which made me happy.
Call me a little pussy for blocking people giving absolutely no value to the content, and only destroying this site.
Do what you must, but be aware that your mindset was a reason this site was crumbling.
User avatar #115 to #113 - centraldogma (08/12/2015) [-]
...if they were destroying the site addy would just IP ban them. Yes, there are ways to bypass IP bans, but it's more of a hindrance than your blocking could ever be
instead he not only allows them to exist, but removed the old system of (thumb bans or regular bans, I forget which) for having negative thumbs and replaced them with negative levels as a way of rewarding people for *********** successfully
I get what you're saying, I appreciate that you want to help the site, and I don't like *********** any more than you do, but you haven't really thought this through
#116 to #115 - karenoniks (08/12/2015) [-]
Except addy promised that you can't be banned for legal ******** stuff during gamergate.
He couldn't ban them even if he wanted.
User avatar #117 to #116 - centraldogma (08/12/2015) [-]
Yes, he did say that he wouldn't ban people as long as they kept their posts SFW. Now, you're clearly assuming we live in a world where admin would never break a promise, even if it meant losing the site, so I won't go onto that topic.

What I want you to do is tell me why admin made that promise, and why we think it's a good thing that he won't ban people as long as they don't post **** in the SFW section. I know the reason, but I'm starting to think you need to remind yourself what it is.
#118 to #117 - karenoniks (08/12/2015) [-]
In this day and age we are one of the only websites with full freedom of speech, do you really think admin would let this site lose this status?
User avatar #120 to #118 - centraldogma (08/13/2015) [-]
Fortunately he's apparently got his **** together, so we'll hopefully never have to find out. But yes, people were happy that addy doesn't ban stuff he doesn't like. "Banning stuff you don't like" is legitimately the entire purpose of blocking.
****** lame, bro. but I ain't gonna try and argue this point any longer, because I really do see where you're coming from. I don't mind too terribly when people like you block blatant *********** who don't put any effort into their *********** , because those people are just annoying. The thing that really bugs me is when a person blocks other users just because they thumbed them down or disagreed with them. That's ******** , it's weak, and it pisses me off... but that's not what it sounds like you use the block feature for, so I really don't have any beef with you.
#121 to #120 - karenoniks (08/13/2015) [-]
We can agree on one thing.
Blocking people for thumbing you down is an asshole move.
#114 to #113 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
your MOM is a BITCH!!! -iTumblr Speaking.
#14 to #4 - immortalityofone (08/12/2015) [-]
HA HA HA HAMMERTIME
User avatar #57 to #14 - jallelthalas (08/12/2015) [-]
I wanna know where and how far away that hammer landed now.
User avatar #101 to #14 - vortexicon (08/12/2015) [-]
this is what happens when you use a greathammer that is above your level range
#5 to #4 - anlbomber (08/11/2015) [-]
I tried to forget that gif
#13 to #5 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
I made a thing, and plan to use it a lot.
#19 to #13 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
what the **** doujinshi is this from?
User avatar #33 to #19 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
>Reimu
>Cheerful and Bright.

whatever it is is HORRIBLY out of character. Reimu is a greedy, lazy, irritable person at pretty much all times. She has almost no sense of humor. Her one smile is more akin to a bloodthirsty grin.
#36 to #33 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
no no no, I know where the picture I posted came from best ******* doujinshi ever, a day in the life of hakurei reimu , but wanted to know where yours came from
User avatar #37 to #36 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
I'm of a mind that the best Doujinshi is "Drill Field"

Mine I got from one of Void Dragon Atma's "Epic Stupid" videos ******* years ago. I have been unable to track down the original source.
User avatar #38 to #37 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
That stinks. Oh well, thanks for help anyway :3
User avatar #39 to #38 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
To be fair, I haven't BOTHERED tracking down the original source.

I can recommend Drill Field... actually, one moment.

www.mediafire.com/download/3o9zl9tl3elly27/Bococho-farm_-_Drill_Field.zip
here.
User avatar #41 to #39 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
ToS violation, but I found it on dynasty: dynasty-scans.com/chapters/drill_field

Will check out, thanks
User avatar #42 to #41 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
really? TS violation for what?

There's nothing illegal in it, It's not Loli, hell, it's not even dirty. It's mostly just funny.
User avatar #43 to #42 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
I cbf to read mediafire's 50000 page long ToS, but I've downloaded some pretty terrible **** that was still up ages later, so not sure why this doujinshi would be taken down.
User avatar #44 to #43 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
It's up for me... huh, it may be the circle name? I was given it by a friend, who said he got it from a sharing site that had 'em all up, so I thought it was free to pass out. May just be the circle name was blacklisted, that happens.
User avatar #45 to #44 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
I've honestly never seen a mediafire file taken down for any violation, they usually just expire or the link goes missing after some time. I get sent to www.mediafire.com/error.php?errno=385&origin=download when I try to click on the file.

Despite dynasty scans' gay 8 downloads-per-day limit, I still enjoy using them to get any doujinshi, since they seem pretty prolific. Do you know any other good sites?
User avatar #46 to #45 - kurodaniyamame (08/12/2015) [-]
when it comes to sites, I acutally stick to... well, generally puruin, manga/perv edens, and thedoujin, which is a subsicdary of Gelbooru....

You need to login to view this link

I also talk with friends, and occasionally just google for specific contents, and hope a doujin's good. Drill Field I got from a friend.
User avatar #53 to #19 - yellowcardraiden (08/12/2015) [-]
Are you trying to find out where that picture he posted comes from?
User avatar #109 to #53 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
Yeah, although like him I haven't done much research on it yet
#110 to #109 - yellowcardraiden (08/12/2015) [-]
It's from Berserk. In my honest opinion, one of the best mangas out there. Amazing art.
User avatar #111 to #110 - jvizzlez (08/12/2015) [-]
Thanks! I managed to reverse image search berserk/touhou, though I only found two pages with kurodaniyamame's image on it. One was an EXTREMELY ******* detailed d20 page for some D&D touhou or something community.wizards.com/forum/non-dd-tsr-and-wotc-rpg-discussion/threads/1335981 and the other was on crunchyroll I believe.
#112 to #111 - yellowcardraiden (08/12/2015) [-]
If you're into dark fantasy, with demons and a serious gritty story. Definitely recommend it. Yeah, his arm is mechanical and has a cannon on it.
User avatar #77 to #4 - moldybreadcrumb (08/12/2015) [-]
How th absolute **** did this get over 300 thumbs down?
#97 to #77 - sillybiscuits (08/12/2015) [-]
Funnyjunk arbitrary bipolar behavior. They could love you and elevate you to the status of FJ-hero or buttrape you into oblivion at the drop of a hat. And you'll never know which until it's already too late. I love this website.
User avatar #104 to #77 - yaybacon (08/12/2015) [-]
>>#6, I think its because he blocked this guy.
User avatar #108 to #2 - deadpoolrulez (08/12/2015) [-]
TYPICAL WOMEN.
#17 - stormieskys ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
#12 - zourch ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
this is like a joke you would expect from your grandpas friend or like at
the very bottom of facebook
#15 to #12 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
So, the best kind of jokes?
#30 to #15 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
>the very bottom of facebook
>best kind of anything

Dude are you talking
User avatar #105 to #30 - gitanisme (08/12/2015) [-]
best kind of dank memes
#65 - herbolifee (08/12/2015) [-]
Just a good old joke. Good to see these will never go away.
User avatar #76 - dafiltafish (08/12/2015) [-]
5/10 I expected a semen joke... would have been funnier too.
#31 - Lilstow ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
I clone stamped the 9gag watermark out.
If you saved the image, replace it with this one.
Watermarks on non-OC are ******* disgraceful, no matter what website it's from.
#55 to #31 - centillion (08/12/2015) [-]
We need more people like you!
User avatar #59 to #55 - Lilstow ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
<3
#66 - trolololer (08/12/2015) [-]
**trolololer used "*roll picture*"**
**trolololer rolled image** the origin is a Russian fable. Russian FJers can verify?
#67 to #66 - franceopplsnerfing (08/12/2015) [-]
cheeki breeki iv damke moonrune moonrune
#79 - sherlockbatman ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
**sherlockbatman used "*roll picture*"**
**sherlockbatman rolled image**
that classic time-capsule smell
#58 - sirleeroy (08/12/2015) [-]
**sirleeroy used "*roll picture*"**
**sirleeroy rolled image**
#50 - baditch ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
How have I not heard this before?
#78 - sherlockbatman ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
**sherlockbatman used "*roll picture*"**
**sherlockbatman rolled image**
that classic time-capsule smell
User avatar #1 - splendiferoushank (08/11/2015) [-]
Heh
#80 - comicfun (08/12/2015) [-]
I thought that joke up when I was a kid
#32 - rollingpicture (08/12/2015) [-]
**rollingpicture used "*roll picture*"**
**rollingpicture rolled image**

Meh
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