After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a
gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The mechanics the the problem, and then
document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by
the pilots (marked with a "P'') and the solutions recorded
marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the
way have a sense if humour.
P, Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced.
P, Test flight OK, dutchland very rough.
S: Dutchland not installed on this aircraft.
P, Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P, Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.
Ft Auto pilot in mode produces a and feet per
S: Can' t reproduce problem on the ground.
P, Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P, DME volume unbelievably loud,
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P, Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That' s what friction locks are for.
P, inoperative in OFF mode.
S: FF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P, Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’ re right.
R Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P. Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious,
P. Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target lyrics,
P. Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed in cockpit.
P, Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like
a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.