Making fun of how slow IE is just states that you're clueless, IE has been the fastest browser for over a year now. IE 11 have half the delay than that of the newest versions of Chrome/Opera/Firefox etc. making it #1 in speed by a very large margin.
Benchmark results based on delay per browser:
IE: 95.6 ms
Firefox: 178.4 ms
Opera: 194.8 ms
Chrome: 195.1 ms
Safari: 294.2 ms
in case you're serious about browser benchmarking, I'd love to discuss metrics and measurability with you via chat or in reply to this thread. I come complete with sources and real-world experience for every browser from IE7 through Mobile Safari for iOS9
mistype. I'm not an Apple man myself, but due to my line of work I have like 10 devices (tablet, smartphone) and three machines and tons of emulators for testing.