I wish I could control my shit. Like this guy. Today in school, I had tty take a really huge dump. It felt like it was mostlyjunk gas, buil proceeded tty the ba
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I wish I could control my shit

Like this guy

Today in school, I had tty take a really huge dump. It felt like it was mostlyjunk gas, buil
proceeded tty the bathwater anyway. I walk in tty find CINE pf the sergeants from the
recruiting table happily peeing away in a urinal. I entered a stall directly behind him. I sat an
the tallet, but I held it in. I then proceeded tty yell In a "We' got hastily enemy
artillery 500 meters Numb! They' re preparing tty fire on bur passant" And Then I let DUI a
lang, slow, descending whistle (to mimic the sound pf artillery shells pf course) And right
at the end pf the whistle, I let it rip. It was [HIE pf the nastiest, wettest farts We ever seeded.
A few rabbit pellets came out with velocity and made splashing sends not unlike
those sounds made by shells hitting water. I then yelled "Ohh God! I' m hit!" and released a
few residual gas pockets that came DUI sounding like popcorn and said "The ammo bunker
just blew!" The last thing I heard DUI teethe sergeant was him gagging an his own spit Hem
laughing so hard as he walked DUI anothe bathroom. MLIA
2329335! Comments: I} Vote: average " mm "
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Views: 33361
Favorited: 135
Submitted: 11/16/2013
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Comments(56):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - luwak (11/16/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Comment Picture
User avatar #4 to #1 - seaofcoltrane (11/16/2013) [-]
Well to be fair. The story was pretty ***** .
Get it
User avatar #13 - chuffberry (11/17/2013) [+] (5 replies)
i wish **** like that happened in the girl's bathroom. the most exciting thing i've ever witnessed is someone throwing a pregnancy test on the ground and running out, sobbing. (and this was in the holocaust museum)
#7 - justakewldewd (11/17/2013) [-]
After watching a couple hours of NCIS I'm putting Gibbs' face to the army recruiter and its all the more hilarious.
After watching a couple hours of NCIS I'm putting Gibbs' face to the army recruiter and its all the more hilarious.
#5 - jabone (11/17/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Not reading.
#8 to #5 - thelegitmetalhead (11/17/2013) [-]
Yfw
Yfw
#25 - redneckraider (11/17/2013) [-]
Great god, i can't feel my sides.Thumb for you
#32 - triggathepirate (11/17/2013) [-]
+1
+1
#30 - ffinfinity (11/17/2013) [-]
Oh god that was a good laugh
Oh god that was a good laugh
#48 - gazajunk (11/17/2013) [-]
**gazajunk rolled a random image posted in comment #64 at Poor unsuspecting negro ** MFW
**gazajunk rolled a random image posted in comment #64 at Poor unsuspecting negro ** MFW
#45 - gatekeepers (11/17/2013) [+] (1 reply)
***** didn't wash his hands, I don't find **** funny about that. Why you fist bump instead of shaking.
#34 - hemorhoids (11/17/2013) [-]
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you sir.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you sir.
#19 - fabulouslypink (11/17/2013) [+] (8 replies)
******* reposts!
#17 - strikingeight (11/17/2013) [+] (5 replies)
#28 to #17 - mitchr (11/17/2013) [-]
Oh dear god no.
Oh dear god no.
#9 - thelegitmetalhead (11/17/2013) [-]
That never happened, but it was hilarious to read. have a thumb.
#43 - lordfuckerslives ONLINE (11/17/2013) [-]
"the ammo bunker just blew!!"
"the ammo bunker just blew!!"
#38 - thetoxicavengers (11/17/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Why is this on My Life Is Average? This is not an Average bathroom experience!
User avatar #47 - kingxddd (11/17/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I saw this post before, please remove ty.
#10 - Glitched (11/17/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Repost.
#11 to #10 - strikerking (11/17/2013) [-]
Indeed it is. Good memory
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