I wish I could control my shit. Like this guy. Today in school, I had tty take a really huge dump. It felt like it was mostlyjunk gas, buil proceeded tty the ba
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I wish I could control my shit

Like this guy

Today in school, I had tty take a really huge dump. It felt like it was mostlyjunk gas, buil
proceeded tty the bathwater anyway. I walk in tty find CINE pf the sergeants from the
recruiting table happily peeing away in a urinal. I entered a stall directly behind him. I sat an
the tallet, but I held it in. I then proceeded tty yell In a "We' got hastily enemy
artillery 500 meters Numb! They' re preparing tty fire on bur passant" And Then I let DUI a
lang, slow, descending whistle (to mimic the sound pf artillery shells pf course) And right
at the end pf the whistle, I let it rip. It was [HIE pf the nastiest, wettest farts We ever seeded.
A few rabbit pellets came out with velocity and made splashing sends not unlike
those sounds made by shells hitting water. I then yelled "Ohh God! I' m hit!" and released a
few residual gas pockets that came DUI sounding like popcorn and said "The ammo bunker
just blew!" The last thing I heard DUI teethe sergeant was him gagging an his own spit Hem
laughing so hard as he walked DUI anothe bathroom. MLIA
2329335! Comments: I} Vote: average " mm "
Views: 33258
Favorited: 136
Submitted: 11/16/2013
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Anonymous commenting is allowed
#55 - WhitePimp (11/18/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #49 - mrgoodlove (11/17/2013) [-]
The site is called my life is average, but the stories are rarely ever average.
#48 - gazajunk (11/17/2013) [-]
**gazajunk rolled a random image posted in comment #64 at Poor unsuspecting negro ** MFW
**gazajunk rolled a random image posted in comment #64 at Poor unsuspecting negro ** MFW
User avatar #47 - kingxddd (11/17/2013) [-]
I saw this post before, please remove ty.
#45 - gatekeepers (11/17/2013) [-]
***** didn't wash his hands, I don't find **** funny about that. Why you fist bump instead of shaking.
User avatar #56 to #45 - nyxeos (11/20/2013) [-]
It said the "last" thing he heard was the guy leaving. He could have heard him wash his hands while he was dropping bombs.
#43 - lordfuckerslives (11/17/2013) [-]
"the ammo bunker just blew!!"
"the ammo bunker just blew!!"
#42 - dtanobo (11/17/2013) [-]
Doesn't sound very average.
#38 - thetoxicavengers (11/17/2013) [-]
Why is this on My Life Is Average? This is not an Average bathroom experience!
#39 to #38 - strikerking (11/17/2013) [-]
I think MLIA actually means My Life is Awesome in this instance
#54 to #39 - thetoxicavengers (11/17/2013) [-]
I wondered about that too, but the format is the format for MLIA. The viewers even vote on whether it's average or meh. Oh well!
User avatar #36 - holycrapimacupcake (11/17/2013) [-]
******* beautiful.
#34 - hemorhoids (11/17/2013) [-]
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you sir.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you sir.
#32 - triggathepirate (11/17/2013) [-]
#31 - hoddon (11/17/2013) [-]
Gagging on spit or the smell of him blowing raspberries out his b-hole?
#30 - ffinfinity (11/17/2013) [-]
Oh god that was a good laugh
Oh god that was a good laugh
#25 - redneckraider (11/17/2013) [-]
Great god, i can't feel my sides.Thumb for you
#19 - fabulouslypink (11/17/2013) [-]
******* reposts!
#21 to #19 - strikerking (11/17/2013) [-]
This has already been established good sir.

By the way, this is like, the oldest retoast, I personally haven't seen this **** for maybe years.
#29 to #21 - ragingspacepanda ONLINE (11/17/2013) [-]
I got a retoast for you
#22 to #21 - fabulouslypink (11/17/2013) [-]
I am not a sir, i'm a ma'am!
#24 to #22 - strikerking (11/17/2013) [-]
Oh Dear! My mistake miss! I feel ashamed for not even having the courtesty to look upon your name.

My deepest apolo-*cough cough* whoa sorry, I guess I tried to hard to be gentleman
#23 to #22 - strikerking Comment deleted by strikerking [-]
User avatar #53 to #17 - redneckraider (11/17/2013) [-]
"drop a fatman on Nagasaki" My god, the laughter
User avatar #50 to #17 - playerdous (11/17/2013) [-]
Dear god that's awful.
#28 to #17 - mitchr (11/17/2013) [-]
Oh dear god no.
Oh dear god no.
#18 to #17 - strikerking (11/17/2013) [-]
Dude, that is terrifying
#14 - anonymous (11/17/2013) [-]
Honestly, it's not that long to read.
It really annoys me that everyone is so quick to call BS, You weren't there, you don't know anymore than I do,
So I believe this is true and hilarious,
We all honestly have no reason NOT to believe this story.
Therefore I believe it.
#16 to #14 - verby (11/17/2013) [-]
Yeah but I remember seeing this years ago
User avatar #13 - chuffberry (11/17/2013) [-]
i wish **** like that happened in the girl's bathroom. the most exciting thing i've ever witnessed is someone throwing a pregnancy test on the ground and running out, sobbing. (and this was in the holocaust museum)
User avatar #33 to #13 - YllekNayr (11/17/2013) [-]
Pretty much what Captainstinkpinky said
User avatar #37 to #33 - killerliquid (11/17/2013) [-]
then what was the point of your comment
User avatar #40 to #37 - YllekNayr (11/17/2013) [-]
Reiteration, confirmation, agreement.

What's the point of yours?
User avatar #41 to #40 - killerliquid (11/17/2013) [-]
To tell you that your comment is unnecessary.
#15 to #13 - captainstinkypinky (11/17/2013) [-]
I was like "meh", until "this was in the holocaust museum"

funniest comment i've seen tonight
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