I thought I had found my true love
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I Anonymous (ID: amount ( Sat) : 50 LITE?!
we Itt, devout and outspoken Brows
remitted to a cool kids party where all the chicks gen be at
slim there and I dent see anyone I can identify with
at see no Brogres there and feel alone as I walk into my comer
Host as I' m doing so I stop
at see that a girl winks at me
ewe start talking and find out that she too is devoted entirely to Shrek
at think I can get an honest to Shrek connection with this girl
slim about to stick it in when she tells me she cent
datums out she' s already made plans to save herself for the Supreme Ogrelord
I Anonymous (ID: mum} tummy' fatcat)' UTC-? Rapids: ':
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tell her it' s fine as long as we both are ready there for Shrek and let
him in as well
sshe still says no
mmy phone is buzzing with text messages and phone calls
sshe breaks down into tears, starts running and slams the door
idealize that there was a bowl of onions placed by the bedside
I suspect something is wrong
unlock my screen
s'' SHREK IS DRECK"
eeipen the door
idealize girl is 4 feet tall
look up and realize EVERYONE in the party is 4 feet tall
tackle her to the ground and start beating the shit out of her fucking faggot Faro uad face
unhinge her massive jaw which was covered in a 5 o‘ clock shadow
sjust as I' m ripping off her mullet, suddenly twenty hands pin me down
idealize that the/ re all tiny hands of the Farmed clique
tthey werent cool kids all along!
pray silently as they start to tie me to a bedpost with my own clothes
know that I have more layers in me than they have followers
know that Shrek gives all his followers a happily ever after
mmy praying intensifies
s'' SHREK, COME FOR ME"
s'' SHREK IS LOVE"
bone of the Farquaads stabs me in the chest
s'' SHREK IS LL
eat that moment I lost consciousness
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woke up on a warm table covered in wax paper, deaf
see a strong halogen light blind me
sitting and gummy buttons and gingerbread have filled my wounds and open
reuinion layers are wrapped around the abrasions on my wrists and ankles from where I was bound
sit up in pain and with a ringing in my ears
m still at the party
stinging dies down and and I can new hear "OH YEH, ECKY IN WHAT ARMEH?"
mmy lord and savior has arrived, the Shrekoning has begun
see a huge green blur smash through memes of hundreds of Farmed highschoolers
he swampy fog fills the room
mmy table starts rumbling
mmy hair starts glowing
TIPS! I realize I have been bestowed a legendary power
Isshrek rams and pulls apart and disembowels multiple midgets in his hands
Isshrek throws out the midgets who have prolapsed into the ceiling
sthe memes eventually start to overpower him and cover him
start to pray from the gospel, but the icing is melting and my ribs are cracked
strings went looking good for my Shrek
somebody once told me the world was going to roll me. . .'
fl aint' the sharpest tool in the shed...‘
Spuddenly gains power and starts to glow
or" ) U' RE AN ALLSTAR"
Shrek starts to sprint and each footstep rattles the house
schrei destroys a 20 foot tall conveniently placed giant keg of ambiguous liquor and drowns half the
FEET YOUR GAME ON, Go PLAY"
Bubes up with the spewing brown sludge and starts pounding multiple Farquads with his pelvis
at spit out a glob of blood and start to cough
ashes slows down again
ALL THAT GUTTERS AINT GOLD, ON LY SHOOTING STARS BREAK THE
pelvis releases a some boom and reaches Mach 5
Tel whistle the rest of the song by Smashmouth with my smashed mouth
air is covered in a mist of Farmed blood, onion aroma and swamp fog but thankfully all the windows were all blown out
r’ -every last Farmed in Dulce is dead
walks to my table
s" Appt Indy I we you needed a hero"
lei tear up and I try to hug but my open chest paralyzed me with pain
hear sirens blaring and in come in flashing the lights of red and blue
s face is illuminated by the lights
Fl gotta pet to may Hump"
rethren kisses me goodbye on the forehead and then
at pass out again
rlhrhk is Love, Shrek is Life