I'm sorry to say this, but words can indeed hurt, that's why people use them in an attempt to hurt people, because often it works. I'm not saying we should police language, but yes, at risk of sounding like a lib tard, words can hurt. Imagine if, from day one, your parents ridiculed you, said you were nothing, all the time. That would hurt. Imagine going to a school, just to hear the same thing, that would hurt. Words can hurt. It's why people use them to do so so often, because it works. And no, i don't think we should let kids fight, play fight, sure. But not full on let them attempt harm to each other.
You're looking at it wrong, yes, words CAN be hurtful, but you choose if you wish to SHOW that it does to the person who does it, if you stop, react, they know, and they will NEVER let up, like a wolf that smells blood.
Stand up, HIT THE ****** . And he will learn that even though the Ox bleeds, it still packs a mean punch.
I don't agree with hitting someone, but i agree with the other state would be a good way to react. But some people don't. Some people can't take being called worthless and the like. Does this make them lesser than you? Should we hang them out to dry? We're no better then animals if we do that. If we try not to advance, and find ways to discourage this way of acting. Whats to stop us from going all the way back. And full on cavemen. Times were sure as **** tough back then. Whose to say when something is too tough, or too easy. You? Who are you?
YOU as the victim can't fix bullying, its usually found in the bullies home environment, either from lack of parent affection TO even them being the CAUSE of it, there's been numerous studies on what CAUSES bullying and how to stop it.
But until the world decides to install Surveillance cameras in people's homes without people's consent, we're never going to stop bullying.
What you can do AS the victim is to first off, SCARE off the bullies by ANY means, in my case it worked with a direct force confrontation, most bullies are NOT willing to accept a fight in order to keep their victim, the 2nd thing you can do is SPREAD awareness, freeze the bully out from finding new victims, make people AWARE that there's a bully and have people group up to disable him from picking a easy victim.
That's nice. But what about those who are not capable of these things. People who are weak, and psychologically unhinged in some way or another. Be it depression, or other wise. There's a whole spectrum, and they vary on mild to extreme.
That's their problem, but like I said, if you can't find a way to solve it yourself, at the very least, spread awareness about it, either to other students, or teachers.
Its the teachers ******* job to keep the students in check, if anything, go to the Principle of the school itself and tell him your teacher is just smoking and procrastinating in the teacher's room instead of actually doing his job of making the school a safe learning environment.
And how do you propose we help those who find themselves heavily affected by, lets go for a broad term here . "bullies". Who can not stand up for themselves. Tell them to just man up?
Well, if the kids can't fend for themselves, we could just hire trained guards to peperspray bullies, and design schools to be more opens and have less places where you can just hide in a corner and kick the **** out of someone out of view.
Healing is a self-term, it stems from accepting that there's something wrong with you, and working to fix it, like building up self-esteem, which you CAN do in a work-safe environment, if perhaps there were others to keep an eye on bullies so that YOU can work on personal improvement.
Well, if you ABSOLUTELY wish to deal with em, you could always SEGREGATE them by moving them to a "special" school.
Or perhaps even a "Tolerance zone" where its absolutely forbidden to even LOOK at another person, let alone draw a sigh, because "triggers" and "offending" someone else..
I say be nicer and you reach for the extremes. You instantly pack me into the group you hate. You probably view me as some super sensitive skinny hipster looking **** . And hate me for it. I'm simply saying these people exist. and deserve help like any other human being. Help those who can not help themselves. Maybe therapy, or whatever the situation demands, and try to help the bullies to. You can't just punch your way to a bully free world. It's not that simple. Some people deserve and need a punch, sure. But your fist isn't the equation to solve assholes.
Well, that's where we are different, I solve my problems my way, you solve them in yours, I can deal with my consequences from doing it my way, you on the other hand, have time and understand on your side, things I would rather spend on more productive things then trying to help the weak and enfeebled fit in.
In a sense, I admire your conviction to stand your ground, and not resort to violence, there's a place for people like you.
My way.. is a short-sighted plan, but works for me.
I dislike your way of thinking, but I'm not going to say you are wrong.
In a sense, we're both wrong on certain parts, I'm not going to say which, because we could argue until we both turn blue, eventually one of us would just blow the other off.
Point is, your views are as valid as mine, but I draw the short stick, because my patience is not infinite, nor do I wish to spend it on things I view as pointless.
I hope your children never have to suffer through bullying.
You're right, words can hurt.
Nobody said they couldn't.
But that's the thing. They can hurt, and that's why we teach our kids about sticks and stones. With that, they realize that words are just words, and they get to choose if those words hurt or not.
If I listened to people and took what they said seriously, I would have committed suicide. I was on the brink once, because of it. However, I adapted a new philosophy: Words are words. The only damage they can do is however much I believe those words.
It's like getting shot at with a gun and having the ability to dodge the bullet.
Why would you not just dodge it?
Words can hurt when they have power.
But for the average person, their words shouldn't have the power to hurt.
Your example, your parents, you care about them, they, supposedly, care about you, they have the power to hurt.
Any stranger, their words shouldn't have the power to hurt
What if it's multiple people, and it's quite often. they're strangers. but i'm certain that would make it easier for the words to hurt. Although it's not correct to say words hurt, it's the idea those words convey that hurt. The idea that you're an idiot, a useless human being. Nothing more than a screw up, always will be, always have been. It's the ideas the words convey that hurt. And it's all about context.
There are indeed a lot of factors, larger numbers does indeed give them more power. But you know yourself better than anyone else, only a few people truly have the power to hurt you if you know yourself.
I have tourettes syndrome and anxiety and depression. I was bullied until well into highschool, but peoples words didn't hurt me because I know myself, I know what tourettes is, I know my own ability. So when people I knew, people I didn't know, people by themselves or in groups, tried to use words to hurt me, it didn't work. Which usually got them angry and made them continue.
You know what did hurt? My girlfriend. The first person I ever properly told about my depression aside from medical peeps like my doctor, and later a counselor. That's how I got the actual diagnosis. and at first she supported me. I loved her, she was my first girlfriend and we'd been dating almost 2 years. We broke up, I missed her, I wanted her back, all that stuff. The words she used then are the words that hurt.
If the words of someone you don't know, someone you don't care about, someone who doesn't know you as close as the people you love do, if their words hurt you. Toughen up.
Did I ever say they couldn't in the right context? I started my comment saying they can hurt.
But The next thing I said was that most people shouldn't be able to make them hurt.
Well yes, words can't hurt given the right context, and they can hurt, given the right context. For you it was your girlfriend, those words hurt because it was the right situation, coming out of the right person. So they hurt. I assumed we came to an agreement.
So people who can't take it, who find themselves on the edge. Should just toughen up? What about those who don't? Some people can't just toughen up, that's reality, some just cant. What about them?
Everyone can.
Some take longer, everyone can.
The only time someone can't is when they won't.
And if they won't, then they choose to be hurt, and so I will not begrudge them their pain.
Using that logic, why not go back to the cave man era, things were way tougher back then, and people far meaner. Why not go back to that. Compared to them we are quite babied, and should "toughen up". When is something too tough, or too easy.
People shouldn't make an effort to be tough on others.
And there is no shame in being smarter about things to reduce workload.
But if you decide to let a strangers words hurt you, especially to the point we're starting to see with 'micro aggression' and 'safe spaces' then you will either grow out of it or you deserve it. Because everyone can learn to not let others hurt them. But all too often we see people actively resisting the process of maturing and learning to not give others that power.
If someone chooses to let others hurt them so easily, I will do nothing to protect such people.
If someone is still learning to not let others hurt them, I will support them. But it is a process they must go through, as everyone must
I'm not acting like you do.
I'm saying peoples words shouldn't be able to hurt you.
The people whos words will always be able to hurt you are the people who should never use them, and for most people with that power, will never use the,
All this boils down to is, i think some people have built in fundamental issues that will never allow them to take some forms of verbal abuse, and you don't. You think given enough time everyone can "toughen up" to deal with their current situation in place. And i don't think given all the time in the universe. we could ever empirically prove each other wrong.
"OH NO, FOUR TO FIVE BULLIES! BETTER CURDLE UP AND CRY LIKE A BITCH!"
Pick up a ******* chair and throw it, scream in rage, show those ******* that numbers don't mean **** when you're willing to pick a fight against uneven odds.
People respect courage, and it takes a **** ton of it to stand up against bullies.
I can have a conversation, but bullies are NOT people to be reasoned with, much like terrorists, they don't respect their fellow humans, so they don't get respect from me.
I never told you to reason with them, what i'm saying is, some people can not handle them. Although it depends on the bully, a kid calling you a poo poo head in kindergarden
is not much compared to someone in high school causing full on physical damage.
You know, I think it actually was bullying at a early stage in my childhood, my mother once told me about the time I managed to physically wound a child with a plastic shovel (you know the ****** kind they give to kinder-garden children to play in the sand with) Turns out, this kid, had spent the entire 20 minutes recess just following me around, demanding I gave him the toys I was playing with, eventually I just had a tiny little bucket and a green shovel, he told me to hand them over, and I didn't so he pushed me, I refused, then he tried to pull the bucket from my hand, and I instantly snapped, I jammed the ******* shovel into his face, and managed to make a 2-3 cm's cut along the kids nose and left cheek, he screamed out in fear and the teacher on duty literally had to drag me off the kid as I kept hitting him with the digging end of the shovel, she had to lock me into a closet because I would not stop trying to hurt anyone who even touched me.
Thing is; We need to learn to defend ourselves in adulthood, much like the guy in the Video said, and if teachers are going to preach how to avoid micro-aggression and all that ******** , everyone from today forth is going to be a "sissy-lad" who's afraid to voice his opinion because he does not want to OFFEND someone.
Do you not agree simply asking a teacher for help would not have been the best action for that situation. Do you think it's best to hurt everyone who tries cause us some form of uncomfort, be it physical,or psychological, with physical violence. Is it the best way to deal with bullies, or is it your way to deal with bullies?
"My way" or anyone else's way is A WAY to deal with bullies, if you are too ingrained in this "Tolerance accepting" society to accept a few rough methods, perhaps YOU are the problem of why we have bullying.
My father always said "Never start a fight by throwing the first punch, but feel free to end it by being the last man standing". So far, there's never been a problem I could not solve by direct confrontation or a show of force.
If you wish to call me a war-mongering steroid monkey, that's fine, at least I don't traipse around on my ******* toes worrying daily if i offended someone.
As for the teachers, I mentioned before that more often then not, they are busy hiding in the teachers room to bother FIXING the issue we're discussing right now.
Some people deserve a punch, yes, and many times i would not blame a man for choosing to punch another in certain situations. But you have to concede that there's often a better way to deal with the situation that won't leave anyone damaged. Not always, but often.
Really? Is that why politicians are circle jerking in whatever country they are, preaching tolerance, acceptance and selling out their nation to the influx of refugee's stemming from a country that's wrecked by war, because they are too stupid to fix their own **** ?
I do not care for the choice to let in a bunch of immigrants. It's destroying the countries that choose to do so. But what i am saying is that you don't have to punch every bully in the face. That's not always the solution, sometimes it is, but not always, nor is it seldom the only solution.
You don't think I TRIED telling the ******* to lay off? Violence is always the LAST step in dealing with a problem, but if bullies wanna be thick-heads who only respond to deterrence by violence, that's perhaps what should be the first option.
There's no kill, quite like over-kill. (except don't kill em, that's bad.)
I got so much **** for picking fights in school from the teaches I was close to being SUSPENDED, but I never got bullied again after showing them that I would not lie down like a beta-wolf and accept that kind of abuse.
Being an asshole to the other kids is totally fine, because you're doing them a favour by strengthening them. You do not have anything to do with if they commit suicide because they clearly chose to be depressed.
What a load of **** . It's not the current kids that think frito bandito would go too far. It's their parents. Guess what generation they are from?
Meaner and rougher times you have got to be kidding. High-schools are a ******* popularity war-zone these days, I mean they probably were too in his time but not as harsh, ruthless and direct (social media) as right now.
Sticks and stone may break my bones, but psychological abuse leaves long-lasting psychological and physiological effects on anyone who has been through it.
Things I kind of disagree with
sensitivity isn't absolutely a bad thing, being sensitive/empathetic to the problems around you is a great tool to have as a well adjusted adult because it teaches you not to step on the heads of others. The problem with sensitivity is that you have to know what to DO with those senses or you're liable to just end up tripping over your own feet and you'll wind up more 'blinded by the light' than anything else.
Adages are pretty little lines of poetry more than anything else. For example, sticks and stones can break your bones but words can break your reputation and while your bones will heal on their own one day it's much harder to fix a broken reputation.
He's also got the order of events all wrong on why teachers started to teach kids to watch what they say. It doesn't begin by trying to 'eradicate teasing' it began by trying to eradicate actual honest to god hate speeches which led to a ton of bullying, and I'm not talking calling kids names on the playground bullying, I'm talking tying them to a tree and beating the **** out of them because they were white bullying. I'm talking bullying that would sometimes get so out of hand that kids would actually DIE because of it bullying.
It started with a good cause, and to be honest I wholeheartedly support the roots of the whole 'anti-bullying' movements. The problem is where it went from there. The problem was that people with their ridiculous binary thinking brains divided everything into 2 separate black and white sides with 'moderating the use of hate speeches' on one side and 'free speech' on the other.
Now I agree, there's a huge problem with how schools are handling things like micro aggression. They've taken their anti bullying movement to far because they haven't completely wiped out bullying and they won't be satisfied until they do which is ****** . But if a bunch of kids are, without a smig of sarcasm, calling some lonely ass ************ a cracker or a lard ass or a faggot, or even talking that **** behind their back then yeah, I think as adults we should step in and explain to them the dangers of talking **** .
I don't think we should jump in and say HEY THAT'S OFFENSIVE YOU'RE SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK!
I think we should step in have a conversation with the kids instigating that or do something to integrate the bullied kid into the group. Team them up in PE or something, make them work together on an in class project, maybe give the kids talking trash a good scolding or shame them a little bit. Definitely shouldn't turn a blind eye to that sort of crap but don't invoke martial law.
Beating someone to death isn't bullying, it's murder. Just like Hate speech isn't bullying, It's hate speech. A lot of the time these hyper sensitive hippies are misusing these words to try and make Bullying and whatever the **** else seem more traumatic.
Getting called a pasty dickhead every day is bullying. Being told that all Asians should be tied to a bench and lashed with whip until they are all dead is hate speech.
I agree about everything, except the "Sticks and stones" bit. First off, whoever says words don't hurt has clearly never been hit with a dictionary. Secondly, words are how I dealt with bullies. I was the smart kid in my class, so the dumber kids would beat the **** out of me, especially when I refused to let them copy off of me. My parents' solution? They taught me how to be an asshole. If someone punches you, ask them if they're trying to be more like their abusive dad. Someone punches you in the gut? Compliment their punch by saying if you were a pregnant woman you'd have gotten a miscarriage. Like their sister. Someone kicking you in the kidneys while you're on the ground? Try to get in as many jokes about their alcoholic mother in between the kicks.
Sure, when it's over, you'll be the one bleeding and they'll be perfectly fine, but my bleeding is going to stop in about 15 minutes, while their brooding is going to last for ******* hours. Days, even, if I manage to hit a nerve properly. My words hurt so much, they stopped bullying me, because they were more afraid of what I had to say then I was of their hits. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but when a bone heals it becomes tougher and denser than it was before. Mental scars, on the other hand, don't go away. Most of them are alcoholics now.
Yeah, cause it's not that ******* simple. Sure, you can say "I choose not to care about these words", but sometimes the words ain't having none of your **** and hurt you anyway. Powerful enough words can get to even the most thick-skinned person.
It's like learning to take a punch. You can train yourself, so a punch, which would hurt a regular person doesn't hurt you. But if you get hit in the face with a sledgehammer, no amount of training is going to stop that **** .
Sticks and stones saying is dumb in my opinion, some well chosen words can really ruin someones day, whereas getting punched is just...getting punched, just pain.