I like one-liners so…. Gimme your best ones FJ. My favorites get stickied.. It' s sad that a family can be tern apart by something as simple as wild dogs, Throw
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

I like one-liners so…

Gimme your best ones FJ. My favorites get stickied.

It' s sad that a family can be tern apart by something
as simple as wild dogs,
Throwing acid is wrong, in same people' s
eyes,
Ian teil how much my parents loved me by the memers
that my favourite bath toy as a child was a master.
I' spent 2 years looking for my ' s
killer, but nobody wants ta do it.
an irishman walks out of a pub,
I have an inferiority complex, but it' s nat
a very good ene.
S/ ix out of seven dwarves are not happy,
Pedophiles have trouble fitting in becaus
they' re ******* immature assholes.
If your girlfriend starts smoking, slaw down and
use a lubricant.
I organized a threesome last night. There were a
couple of but I still had fun.
It takes balls to have a vasectomy.
A beautiful weman walks into a bar and asks the
bartender far a double entendre, he gives it to her.
Lif is tee short,
If it wasn' t far physics, I' d be unstoppable.
Dildos are for pussies.
Hypothetically if your Uncle Jack was stuck an a
horse, warld ytn., 1 er would area nat help your
Uncle Jack off the horse?
People say! I have tie empathy, but I really bent
care what they think,
Anal sex is overrated, it' s ******* **** .
Is it just me er are circles pointless?
Whiteboards are remarkable.
I' ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
Together, I can beat dissociated identity.
When I was younger my dad used to beat me with
a camera, I still have flashbacks,,. and really:
weird meta album.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem
cames out of newhere...
...
+468
Views: 22235
Favorited: 228
Submitted: 05/17/2014
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to danjazown E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(51):

[ 51 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - guerillagorilla (05/17/2014) [-]
stickied by danjazown
My mom never saw the irony of calling me a son of a bitch.
#3 - atma (05/17/2014) [-]
stickied by danjazown
If you have dentures, don't use artificial sweetener, because you'll get a fake cavity.
If you have dentures, don't use artificial sweetener, because you'll get a fake cavity.
#11 - adu ONLINE (05/17/2014) [-]
stickied by danjazown
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
User avatar #10 - oxymoronking (05/17/2014) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by danjazown
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship
#29 - groovierpoet (05/17/2014) [+] (14 replies)
stickied by danjazown
I remember when I try a one-liner.   
So one day, At a party I got invited. I walk up to preshmilk, greendroid , reekballs , klina, include, joshlol, nomsoms, xgrandmoffx, mindsculptoriace, threeeighteen, mastercolossus, mankey, fitemeirlbro, tosado, murphyslawtesties, zocard, soundofwinter , wbrehmer , dakingxd, imadethisforitems, mrnecro, ragingbrony, katiegirl, theguyinabox , forahilarm, RealRune, evebishop, dehnoobshow, sciencexplain, ultimatefusion, theannoyingfjguy, produx, 						************					, crackedpepper, coocoro, wrongexplain, frankbeeflinks, nought, miscarriage, zerith, nigeltheoutlaw, skiskate, leonhardt, organicglory, and matheomaidana epicscorpion, settantaventi , the chosentroll  dantemp , thomaster, zpryed, terawoodie, asthmetheus, benrocks, onederman,capobvious, sirkanesixtytwo, beroty, leobreacker, iamwhite, juha, juter , titaniums, regius, harrycox, applesdontpee, applescryatnight, notaboss , xxhadesflamesxx , hilariousrubbish , slythefox , mckinkymcormic, adu, jinxter , jepica , classic, knightgiver , hbyredmoon, mastercarl , zombiesnipertwo, buttonfly shadowrated, gearboy , jackabobbath and stonetomcat to try this line atma told me about. the one-liner was "If I can rearrange the alphabet, I'll stick my dick in your ass. All of them laugh their asses off and pull me into a secluded room. then they pull down their pants revealing a THICK PULSING FAT NON-UNCIRCUMCISED COCKS. as each one one of them double penetrated my ass and mouth I started to cry because of the pain but I push through. just for them. an hour passed i knew they were at their limit. I told them to grab to squeeze my ass and push down my head into their GIANT COCK. as they did that, They let out a mighty roar and release all of their sweet nectar  CUM  inside my mouth and ass. As I try to swallow up all of the cum that was in my mouth they told me. "that is such a A+ joke, Keep it up. ;) " then they left.   
   
I always knew a was a comedy genius.
I remember when I try a one-liner.
So one day, At a party I got invited. I walk up to preshmilk, greendroid , reekballs , klina, include, joshlol, nomsoms, xgrandmoffx, mindsculptoriace, threeeighteen, mastercolossus, mankey, fitemeirlbro, tosado, murphyslawtesties, zocard, soundofwinter , wbrehmer , dakingxd, imadethisforitems, mrnecro, ragingbrony, katiegirl, theguyinabox , forahilarm, RealRune, evebishop, dehnoobshow, sciencexplain, ultimatefusion, theannoyingfjguy, produx, ************ , crackedpepper, coocoro, wrongexplain, frankbeeflinks, nought, miscarriage, zerith, nigeltheoutlaw, skiskate, leonhardt, organicglory, and matheomaidana epicscorpion, settantaventi , the chosentroll dantemp , thomaster, zpryed, terawoodie, asthmetheus, benrocks, onederman,capobvious, sirkanesixtytwo, beroty, leobreacker, iamwhite, juha, juter , titaniums, regius, harrycox, applesdontpee, applescryatnight, notaboss , xxhadesflamesxx , hilariousrubbish , slythefox , mckinkymcormic, adu, jinxter , jepica , classic, knightgiver , hbyredmoon, mastercarl , zombiesnipertwo, buttonfly shadowrated, gearboy , jackabobbath and stonetomcat to try this line atma told me about. the one-liner was "If I can rearrange the alphabet, I'll stick my dick in your ass. All of them laugh their asses off and pull me into a secluded room. then they pull down their pants revealing a THICK PULSING FAT NON-UNCIRCUMCISED COCKS. as each one one of them double penetrated my ass and mouth I started to cry because of the pain but I push through. just for them. an hour passed i knew they were at their limit. I told them to grab to squeeze my ass and push down my head into their GIANT COCK. as they did that, They let out a mighty roar and release all of their sweet nectar CUM inside my mouth and ass. As I try to swallow up all of the cum that was in my mouth they told me. "that is such a A+ joke, Keep it up. ;) " then they left.

I always knew a was a comedy genius.
User avatar #5 - deaththroes (05/17/2014) [-]
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
User avatar #4 - wrocky (05/17/2014) [-]
gay men are ******* assholes
#15 - eddymolly ONLINE (05/17/2014) [+] (4 replies)
Not actually puns, but close enough
User avatar #40 - klokwork (05/18/2014) [-]
Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they're always taking things literally.
#34 - dubstepforme (05/17/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Let's not make nazi jokes, My great grandpa died during the holocaust.   
						*******					 jew pushed him off the watch tower..
Let's not make nazi jokes, My great grandpa died during the holocaust.
******* jew pushed him off the watch tower..
User avatar #28 - greenbob (05/17/2014) [-]
Ssw a transvestite in a short skirt.
I said to myself, that shows a lot of balls.

My first wife was from thailand. A sad story, she died.
of testicular cancer.

Islamic radical sex dolls.
Do they blow themselves up.

In palestian passport, under occupation, do they just put : Israel?

They say laughter is the best medicine.
So maybe, if we all keep laughting at people in wheelchairs..

My favorite pickup lines are
Take a coat, it's cold in the trunk of my car.
Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?
#16 - gameless (05/17/2014) [+] (9 replies)
Do they have to be funny? Or can they just be those out of context one liners?
User avatar #47 to #37 - gameless (05/18/2014) [-]
I haven't gotten to that episode yet. If I do I will get all of those too.
User avatar #50 - alucord (05/19/2014) [-]
I love this so much,

Im commenting so I can come back later.

Thank you.
#49 - theshadowwalker (05/18/2014) [-]
Actually, circles are an infinite amount of lines connected to an infinite amount of points.
#33 - 4chan refugee (05/17/2014) [-]
When I was little my fairy godmother gave me the choice of a long memory or a long penis.. I forget which I chose
User avatar #13 - unusualember (05/17/2014) [-]
Dildos are also for assholes.
#9 - wastelandgunner (05/17/2014) [-]
Some of the one liners are from Deep Thoughts.
#1 - 4chan refugee (05/17/2014) [-]
I'm fat and I'm beautiful.
#8 - grimgrey ONLINE (05/17/2014) [-]
I was broke last week but today be a new day   
						***********					 like cavities, cause them 						******					 be too fake
I was broke last week but today be a new day
*********** like cavities, cause them ****** be too fake
User avatar #7 - anonemous (05/17/2014) [-]
I'm descended from a long line my mother listened too....
[ 51 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)