I like one-liners so…. Gimme your best ones FJ. My favorites get stickied.. It' s sad that a family can be tern apart by something as simple as wild dogs, Throw
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I like one-liners so…

Gimme your best ones FJ. My favorites get stickied.

It' s sad that a family can be tern apart by something
as simple as wild dogs,
Throwing acid is wrong, in same people' s
eyes,
Ian teil how much my parents loved me by the memers
that my favourite bath toy as a child was a master.
I' spent 2 years looking for my ' s
killer, but nobody wants ta do it.
an irishman walks out of a pub,
I have an inferiority complex, but it' s nat
a very good ene.
S/ ix out of seven dwarves are not happy,
Pedophiles have trouble fitting in becaus
they' re fucking immature assholes.
If your girlfriend starts smoking, slaw down and
use a lubricant.
I organized a threesome last night. There were a
couple of but I still had fun.
It takes balls to have a vasectomy.
A beautiful weman walks into a bar and asks the
bartender far a double entendre, he gives it to her.
Lif is tee short,
If it wasn' t far physics, I' d be unstoppable.
Dildos are for pussies.
Hypothetically if your Uncle Jack was stuck an a
horse, warld ytn., 1 er would area nat help your
Uncle Jack off the horse?
People say! I have tie empathy, but I really bent
care what they think,
Anal sex is overrated, it' s fucking shit.
Is it just me er are circles pointless?
Whiteboards are remarkable.
I' ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
Together, I can beat dissociated identity.
When I was younger my dad used to beat me with
a camera, I still have flashbacks,,. and really:
weird meta album.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem
cames out of newhere...
...
+468
Views: 22178
Favorited: 229
Submitted: 05/17/2014
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Comments(51):

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#2 - guerillagorilla (05/17/2014) [-]
stickied by danjazown
My mom never saw the irony of calling me a son of a bitch.
#3 - atma (05/17/2014) [-]
stickied by danjazown
If you have dentures, don't use artificial sweetener, because you'll get a fake cavity.
If you have dentures, don't use artificial sweetener, because you'll get a fake cavity.
#11 - adu (05/17/2014) [-]
stickied by danjazown
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
User avatar #10 - oxymoronking (05/17/2014) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by danjazown
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship
#29 - groovierpoet (05/17/2014) [+] (14 replies)
stickied by danjazown
I remember when I try a one-liner.   
So one day, At a party I got invited. I walk up to preshmilk, greendroid , reekballs , klina, include, joshlol, nomsoms, xgrandmoffx, mindsculptoriace, threeeighteen, mastercolossus, mankey, fitemeirlbro, tosado, murphyslawtesties, zocard, soundofwinter , wbrehmer , dakingxd, imadethisforitems, mrnecro, ragingbrony, katiegirl, theguyinabox , forahilarm, RealRune, evebishop, dehnoobshow, sciencexplain, ultimatefusion, theannoyingfjguy, produx, mudkipfucker, crackedpepper, coocoro, wrongexplain, frankbeeflinks, nought, miscarriage, zerith, nigeltheoutlaw, skiskate, leonhardt, organicglory, and matheomaidana epicscorpion, settantaventi , the chosentroll  dantemp , thomaster, zpryed, terawoodie, asthmetheus, benrocks, onederman,capobvious, sirkanesixtytwo, beroty, leobreacker, iamwhite, juha, juter , titaniums, regius, harrycox, applesdontpee, applescryatnight, notaboss , xxhadesflamesxx , hilariousrubbish , slythefox , mckinkymcormic, adu, jinxter , jepica , classic, knightgiver , hbyredmoon, mastercarl , zombiesnipertwo, buttonfly shadowrated, gearboy , jackabobbath and stonetomcat to try this line atma told me about. the one-liner was "If I can rearrange the alphabet, I'll stick my dick in your ass. All of them laugh their asses off and pull me into a secluded room. then they pull down their pants revealing a THICK PULSING FAT NON-UNCIRCUMCISED COCKS. as each one one of them double penetrated my ass and mouth I started to cry because of the pain but I push through. just for them. an hour passed i knew they were at their limit. I told them to grab to squeeze my ass and push down my head into their GIANT COCK. as they did that, They let out a mighty roar and release all of their sweet nectar  CUM  inside my mouth and ass. As I try to swallow up all of the cum that was in my mouth they told me. "that is such a A+ joke, Keep it up. ;) " then they left.   
   
I always knew a was a comedy genius.
I remember when I try a one-liner.
So one day, At a party I got invited. I walk up to preshmilk, greendroid , reekballs , klina, include, joshlol, nomsoms, xgrandmoffx, mindsculptoriace, threeeighteen, mastercolossus, mankey, fitemeirlbro, tosado, murphyslawtesties, zocard, soundofwinter , wbrehmer , dakingxd, imadethisforitems, mrnecro, ragingbrony, katiegirl, theguyinabox , forahilarm, RealRune, evebishop, dehnoobshow, sciencexplain, ultimatefusion, theannoyingfjguy, produx, mudkipfucker, crackedpepper, coocoro, wrongexplain, frankbeeflinks, nought, miscarriage, zerith, nigeltheoutlaw, skiskate, leonhardt, organicglory, and matheomaidana epicscorpion, settantaventi , the chosentroll dantemp , thomaster, zpryed, terawoodie, asthmetheus, benrocks, onederman,capobvious, sirkanesixtytwo, beroty, leobreacker, iamwhite, juha, juter , titaniums, regius, harrycox, applesdontpee, applescryatnight, notaboss , xxhadesflamesxx , hilariousrubbish , slythefox , mckinkymcormic, adu, jinxter , jepica , classic, knightgiver , hbyredmoon, mastercarl , zombiesnipertwo, buttonfly shadowrated, gearboy , jackabobbath and stonetomcat to try this line atma told me about. the one-liner was "If I can rearrange the alphabet, I'll stick my dick in your ass. All of them laugh their asses off and pull me into a secluded room. then they pull down their pants revealing a THICK PULSING FAT NON-UNCIRCUMCISED COCKS. as each one one of them double penetrated my ass and mouth I started to cry because of the pain but I push through. just for them. an hour passed i knew they were at their limit. I told them to grab to squeeze my ass and push down my head into their GIANT COCK. as they did that, They let out a mighty roar and release all of their sweet nectar CUM inside my mouth and ass. As I try to swallow up all of the cum that was in my mouth they told me. "that is such a A+ joke, Keep it up. ;) " then they left.

I always knew a was a comedy genius.
User avatar #5 - deaththroes (05/17/2014) [-]
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
User avatar #4 - wrocky ONLINE (05/17/2014) [-]
gay men are fucking assholes
#15 - eddymolly (05/17/2014) [+] (4 replies)
Not actually puns, but close enough
User avatar #40 - klokwork (05/18/2014) [-]
Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they're always taking things literally.
#34 - dubstepforme (05/17/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Let's not make nazi jokes, My great grandpa died during the holocaust.   
Fucking jew pushed him off the watch tower..
Let's not make nazi jokes, My great grandpa died during the holocaust.
Fucking jew pushed him off the watch tower..
User avatar #28 - greenbob (05/17/2014) [-]
Ssw a transvestite in a short skirt.
I said to myself, that shows a lot of balls.

My first wife was from thailand. A sad story, she died.
of testicular cancer.

Islamic radical sex dolls.
Do they blow themselves up.

In palestian passport, under occupation, do they just put : Israel?

They say laughter is the best medicine.
So maybe, if we all keep laughting at people in wheelchairs..

My favorite pickup lines are
Take a coat, it's cold in the trunk of my car.
Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?
#16 - gameless (05/17/2014) [+] (9 replies)
Do they have to be funny? Or can they just be those out of context one liners?
User avatar #47 to #37 - gameless (05/18/2014) [-]
I haven't gotten to that episode yet. If I do I will get all of those too.
User avatar #50 - alucord (05/19/2014) [-]
I love this so much,

Im commenting so I can come back later.

Thank you.
#49 - theshadowwalker (05/18/2014) [-]
Actually, circles are an infinite amount of lines connected to an infinite amount of points.
#33 - anonymous (05/17/2014) [-]
When I was little my fairy godmother gave me the choice of a long memory or a long penis.. I forget which I chose
User avatar #13 - unusualember (05/17/2014) [-]
Dildos are also for assholes.
#9 - wastelandgunner ONLINE (05/17/2014) [-]
Some of the one liners are from Deep Thoughts.
#1 - anonymous (05/17/2014) [-]
I'm fat and I'm beautiful.
#8 - grimgrey (05/17/2014) [-]
I was broke last week but today be a new day   
Mothafuckas like cavities, cause them niggas be too fake
I was broke last week but today be a new day
Mothafuckas like cavities, cause them niggas be too fake
User avatar #7 - anonemous (05/17/2014) [-]
I'm descended from a long line my mother listened too....
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