I just wanna talk
Hey guys. So, I just read today that my grandmother died. Nobody told me. My family and I aren't even remotely close. I'm not going to my sister's wedding. I haven't spoken to the man I was named after(thought he was my father until I was 18. He's my uncle. Whole other story. My chromosomes are fine.)
Anyway. Until I was somewhere from 13-15, my grandmother raised me. I haven't spoken to her in years. I'm 23 as of two months and three days ago. She was pretty minorly neglectful and when I was a kid I tried to kill myself a few times. I used to always fight with her, and she didn't really feed me or my sister that well. They appearantly pulled the plug on her last night. I didn't even know about a plug to be pulled until I got on facebook. My old man is whining over Facebook about it. I've only told my roommate. But the thing is, I don't wanna talk to real people in the real world about it because... I'm not sad. I don't think I hated her. I just also didn't grow up loving my family. So now while my whole family freaks out, I'm just kind of sitting here. Unsure how I feel. Haven't talked to anyone about it. They may not talk to me at all.
I feel like a dick a little bit for not caring that my primary caretaker of eleven-ish to thirteen-ish years died. But at the same time I feel... fine. Like perfectly fine. I'm gonna go to work tomorrow and possibly not even mention it. I don't really have anyone to tell other than FJ. And while I know this isn't really content, I wanna put my thoughts somewhere.
Hope the year 2016 has been alright to you guys. Maybe some of you can relate to this. If anyone wants to talk about it, I don't work for thirteen more hours. X amount of it will be sleeping.
Anyway. Until I was somewhere from 13-15, my grandmother raised me. I haven't spoken to her in years. I'm 23 as of two months and three days ago. She was pretty minorly neglectful and when I was a kid I tried to kill myself a few times. I used to always fight with her, and she didn't really feed me or my sister that well. They appearantly pulled the plug on her last night. I didn't even know about a plug to be pulled until I got on facebook. My old man is whining over Facebook about it. I've only told my roommate. But the thing is, I don't wanna talk to real people in the real world about it because... I'm not sad. I don't think I hated her. I just also didn't grow up loving my family. So now while my whole family freaks out, I'm just kind of sitting here. Unsure how I feel. Haven't talked to anyone about it. They may not talk to me at all.
I feel like a dick a little bit for not caring that my primary caretaker of eleven-ish to thirteen-ish years died. But at the same time I feel... fine. Like perfectly fine. I'm gonna go to work tomorrow and possibly not even mention it. I don't really have anyone to tell other than FJ. And while I know this isn't really content, I wanna put my thoughts somewhere.
Hope the year 2016 has been alright to you guys. Maybe some of you can relate to this. If anyone wants to talk about it, I don't work for thirteen more hours. X amount of it will be sleeping.
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