20 Most infuriating Things Computer
illiterate People Say When You
Are Just Trying To Help Them
1. From my mother; IT' S NOT TURNING ON NOW
BECAUSE YOU DOWNLOADED WHATEVER THAT
FIREFOX THING IS.
2. "Where' s all my stuff?"
After reloading her and having;
L Explained at length how EVERYTHING
WOULD BE GONE.
I. offered hem data transfer.
a. Read her the wipe/ reload paperwork our
4. Had her sign the papers that said,
EVERYTHING WILL BE GONE."
5. Told her that her computer would only
have the things on it that it had when it was
3. "Ever since you fixed that paper Wrn my computer
has been running slower"
4. on I need to put some files on my thumb drive.
Me; , remember how we did that last time?
Me: , what Files?
Met OK, open your pictures folder, highlight the
ones you want and press .
Me; Are you doing that?
Dad: No. I' m in control panel.
Me: Who told you to go to control panel?
Dad: I thought it might help.
My boss calls everything from our website to our
printers "database". We do in fact have a
document database which we use so everytime
there she has an issue I have no idea what sh
talking about. "l can' t connect to the databoy
Can' t Print. "The database crashed, were we
hacked" = Computer unplugged.
People at my company that refer to everything as
Is the server down?" = My screen resolution set
Is the server up?" = I have somehow erased my
Could you put it on the server?" = Why isn' t the
file magically appearing on my desktop
7. ''l was working on this word document for I hours
and I closed it, it asked me to save and I said no.
Get it back"
Blaming an error on you, when it happens months
later, and is completely unrelated to any work you
did. Especially if its a hardware failure when you
fixed software problems. Just imagine that with
any other technical industry. Have a friend who is
an electrician come to your house for free, install
an outlet, for free, and next year a lightbulb in the
other side of your house burns out, so you call him
up and sayi s probably his fault, and guilt him
into replacing it.
9. As a kid, my mom would play this online card
game. Iwould play little cartoon games, like
whinnie the pooh, and junk like that. Anyway, one
day I come home and all my games are deleted, I
was mortified. I asked my mom what happened
and she told me, "they were making the computer
run slower." about 2 or 3 years later I realized that
she would download and reinstall her stupid card
game every single time she wanted to play it.
10. Reaching over my shoulder and pressing the
power button, while I was mid way through a
re edit and saying... "do you think rebooting
it will help."
11. The other day, I was informed that I needed to
make sure that the server was up, and it was to be
a priority because the customer did not have an
12. Doang tech support at an ISP, person said "My
computer won' t turn on, your internet is broken" I
asked them to check the back of the computer to
see if the plug was in, they replied ''I can' t see the
back of the computer, its dark in here" I said "Well
turn on the light then." Reply “Well... the power is
13. Mom: Some of my keys on the keyboard are
sticking. Can you ask your boyfriend to reprogram
it for me?
Me: No. Mom, that' s not how that works. That
sounds like a hardware problem.
Mom: You' re not the computer engineer!
14. My mother. Thecomputer crashed one day
presumably due to all the stress). She
completely wiped the hard drive then decided
to buy a new computer because she likes new
things. Next day:
Mom: ''I can' t find any of my files on my new
Me: "Well, you didn' t do a data transfer."
Mom: "But I put the old one in the new
compute It' s sitting right there on the
At this point, she opens the case and shows me
the old drive just chillin' on the bottom panel.
After I explain how that doesn' t do anything,
Mom: ''well, I' got some copper wire in the
office somewhere. You can attach the new one
to the old one."
Morn: "YES IT WILL VOU' RE JUST LAZY."
15. Where are your files?
Okay but where are they?
But in what folder are they in, My Documents?
ND THE WEE IN WORD DAMMIT
16. rhat if you get the destination address slightly
wrong on an email, someone, like an electronic
postman i guess, will know what you mean.
My mum had been giving out her email, adding
or something like that"
17. Me: "Show me exactly how you caused the
problem to occur."
Them; "Why can' t you do it? Vou' re the
18. My dad called me a Twat because I opened a
19. "I know you folks at Best Buy are always trying
to confuse people like me. I don' t want to hear
any bullcrap, just show me where the discs of
Discs... Ma' am I don' t quite understand, do
you already have a provider? or..."
CUT THE BULLSH* T, just show me where I can
get a disc of internet'."
In the aisle next to car stereos ma' am."
20. "So here' s how you can prevent this front
happening in the future."
Don' t give me technical mumbo jumbo, just