Humor
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91 comments displayed.
#1
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fatminion ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-] we have a homelsess man in Munich, Germany, who trades philosophical ramblings for empty bottles. You just pick a topic, like, say, "morality" and he'll go off on how the 15th-century philosopher was hanged for his interpretation of a self-made morality that went counter to the theocracy of the age. But what this particular philosopher thought was simply a repercussion of what Plato said in 390 and then he ******* recites in in German then in ancient Greek.
#90 to #82
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popeflatus (08/15/2015) [-] I didn't get my wires crossed. In your original comment you didn't have BCE after the date so that implies that it is in the CE.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plato
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plato
#91 to #89
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fatminion ONLINE (08/15/2015) [-] right - think about it.
-500 < -300 < 0 < 300 < 500
500BC < 300BC < 0 < 300AD < 500AD
Plato was born in 428BC and died in 348BC, so he was alive in 390BC
-428 < -390 < -348 < 0 < 2015
428BC < 390BC < 348BC < 0 < 2015AD
Just think of BC dates as negative numbers.
-500 < -300 < 0 < 300 < 500
500BC < 300BC < 0 < 300AD < 500AD
Plato was born in 428BC and died in 348BC, so he was alive in 390BC
-428 < -390 < -348 < 0 < 2015
428BC < 390BC < 348BC < 0 < 2015AD
Just think of BC dates as negative numbers.
#77 to #72
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insanefreak (08/13/2015) [-]
If he meant 390 BCE then isn't it possible? Of course, I don't know how old Plato got, so my comment may be incredibly stupid.
#19 to #1
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thesecretbear (08/13/2015) [-] I mean that's one way to get paid for your degree. A shame no homeless people where I live want to talk philosophy.
#24 to #1
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mexifrenchie (08/13/2015) [-]
No ******** , I think I know the guy you're talking about, I spent a few months in Munich, and I couldn't understand German at the time, but people would pay him, and he would start spouting off and people would smile, but not as if he was telling jokes. This random encounter has been explained after all these years... Then again it could be one of those, no you never saw him, I made this up for attention things.
I loved Germany
Especially Augsburg where a lot of rich people live
Too many turks in the country though
I loved Germany
Especially Augsburg where a lot of rich people live
Too many turks in the country though
#33 to #1
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darksideofthebeast (08/13/2015) [-] that guy sounds awesome.
Bring him a meal and discuss something with him, record it.
Bring him a meal and discuss something with him, record it.
#17 to #13
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fatminion ONLINE (08/13/2015) [-] well, I just call it that. It's a digital recorder for doing interviews and **** .
I actually have a bunch of smartphones I use only for testing (I make websites and apps for a living), but I don't always have them on me. I guess because I work so much with the latest technologies, I just like having a normal telephone with telephony and sms. And because people keep upgrading their phones all the time, I get their old ones for free. I'm up to a touch screen one right now - the Samsung Wave (with Badaa OS). I technically can go on the internet and can even record video and audio, but I think it's limited and I generally just use the phone for taling and SMSing and taking notes of all my genius ideas and calculating and **** .
But I will try to capture this marvelous man next time he comes around. But part of me thinks, "will I enjoy this moment if I strive to capture it?" Maybe I'll just make my friend do it.
I actually have a bunch of smartphones I use only for testing (I make websites and apps for a living), but I don't always have them on me. I guess because I work so much with the latest technologies, I just like having a normal telephone with telephony and sms. And because people keep upgrading their phones all the time, I get their old ones for free. I'm up to a touch screen one right now - the Samsung Wave (with Badaa OS). I technically can go on the internet and can even record video and audio, but I think it's limited and I generally just use the phone for taling and SMSing and taking notes of all my genius ideas and calculating and **** .
But I will try to capture this marvelous man next time he comes around. But part of me thinks, "will I enjoy this moment if I strive to capture it?" Maybe I'll just make my friend do it.
#25 to #17
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blokrokker (08/13/2015) [-] I would be very interested in hearing these recordings/watching these videos.
#55 to #17
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shivaspace (08/13/2015) [-] I thought I was the only one... Pic related, this is really enough for me. I haven't really missed my all smartphone in a year. I took out the GPS and GPRS sensors, the camera and the microphone off my old smartphone (because of NSA and stuff) and just use it as alarm clock, vocabulary trainer and wifi.
I feel more free since I have this ****** phone. Because when I'm going or waiting somewhere, I just have time to think and relax.
Btw, I'm from Dortmund Aber ich mag kein Fußball, also keine Angst...
I feel more free since I have this ****** phone. Because when I'm going or waiting somewhere, I just have time to think and relax.
Btw, I'm from Dortmund Aber ich mag kein Fußball, also keine Angst...
#63 to #55
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tailedcrusader (08/13/2015) [-]
Hah, have the exact some phone myself. Though my reasons are predominantly that I don't care about most of the things smart phones do and I just wanted something cheap that the battery wouldn't need to be recharged every day.
#65 to #63
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shivaspace (08/13/2015) [-] Yeah me too... The battery works for 3 weeks, as I use my phone less than once in a week for a few minutes. I have it just for emergencies basically. And I payed 15€ for it (new), lol
#80 to #55
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fatminion ONLINE (08/13/2015) [-] i au ned. sog b'scheid wenn du nach minga kimmst verzeihe mein Boarisch, bin eingepflanzt aus den Staaten vor 8 Jahre... Dann können wir einen himmelisches boarisches Bierschen 'samma trinken.
I have many friends who mangle their phones/laptops because of "NSA", but the sad truth is that it is not enough. If you use public e-mail, use the internet without 3 or 4x proxy, then you're still succeptible. But of course taking out GPS/Video capabilites (or at least disabling them in your settings some believe that's not enough, but the way the iOS/Android APIs work, you can't use those services unless the user accepts. Of course there's a chance those features could still be on, and that the OS itself uses that data, but I don't think so. That would require much more battery power and make the OS slow and if it ever came out that they did that, they'd be sued for billions then that should be enough.
But anyway, I totally agree: not having a device with internet, games and everything at your fingertips 24/7 means I have so much more time just to sit and think, watch other people, etc. And if I really need to call, send an SMS or write down a few thoughts, I can indeed use it. The only time I miss having internet is when we discuss something and I want to prove them I'm right. But there's always at least one in the group with a smartphone who can look it up. Or I just look it up when I go home.
Peace out, bro.
I have many friends who mangle their phones/laptops because of "NSA", but the sad truth is that it is not enough. If you use public e-mail, use the internet without 3 or 4x proxy, then you're still succeptible. But of course taking out GPS/Video capabilites (or at least disabling them in your settings some believe that's not enough, but the way the iOS/Android APIs work, you can't use those services unless the user accepts. Of course there's a chance those features could still be on, and that the OS itself uses that data, but I don't think so. That would require much more battery power and make the OS slow and if it ever came out that they did that, they'd be sued for billions then that should be enough.
But anyway, I totally agree: not having a device with internet, games and everything at your fingertips 24/7 means I have so much more time just to sit and think, watch other people, etc. And if I really need to call, send an SMS or write down a few thoughts, I can indeed use it. The only time I miss having internet is when we discuss something and I want to prove them I'm right. But there's always at least one in the group with a smartphone who can look it up. Or I just look it up when I go home.
Peace out, bro.
#85 to #80
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shivaspace (08/14/2015) [-] Alles klar, mach ich! Bin neulich noch drüber geflogen auf dem Weg nach Griechenland.
Wir können auch deutsch schreiben... Jetzt liest doch eh keiner mehr mit.
Ich weiß, dass man sich nie genug schützen kann. Aber man kann ja so viel deaktivieren, wie möglich. Alles was man nicht unbedingt braucht und worauf man gut verzichten kann. Als ich mein Smartphone noch benutzt habe, habe ich immer etwas Isolierband auf die Kamera geklebt und das abgemacht, wenn ich fotografieren wollte. Aber ich gebe dir Recht: Deaktivieren der Funktionen sollte bei Android normalerweise ausreichen. Aber 100% sicher bin ich mir nur, wenn es physikalisch nicht mehr möglich ist (z.B. Akkur rausnehmen).
Es ist auch nicht so schlecht, einfach wie in den alten Zeiten zu spekulieren und nicht immer alles sofort nachsehen zu können (finde ich)
Wir können auch deutsch schreiben... Jetzt liest doch eh keiner mehr mit.
Ich weiß, dass man sich nie genug schützen kann. Aber man kann ja so viel deaktivieren, wie möglich. Alles was man nicht unbedingt braucht und worauf man gut verzichten kann. Als ich mein Smartphone noch benutzt habe, habe ich immer etwas Isolierband auf die Kamera geklebt und das abgemacht, wenn ich fotografieren wollte. Aber ich gebe dir Recht: Deaktivieren der Funktionen sollte bei Android normalerweise ausreichen. Aber 100% sicher bin ich mir nur, wenn es physikalisch nicht mehr möglich ist (z.B. Akkur rausnehmen).
Es ist auch nicht so schlecht, einfach wie in den alten Zeiten zu spekulieren und nicht immer alles sofort nachsehen zu können (finde ich)
#34 to #4
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darksideofthebeast (08/13/2015) [-] mention me if you ever get around to it, sounds pretty neat.
#18 to #1
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PenguinsOfMars (08/13/2015) [-] tl;dr if you get a degree in philosophy you'll be homeless
#58 to #53
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olioh (08/13/2015) [-] i had a fellow FJer going to same place i worked in... it was....weird... theres one public use computer for young people that work there, he allways changed the theme to something about mlp, played MLP themed games in it (like megaman, but with MLP) modded the chrome etc to show a ponypic everywhere etc etc... never again plx. my lifes first HC ponyfag, i tought they were just stories
#59 to #58
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butiloveu (08/13/2015) [-] My sincere condolences.
People who aggressively spreading their **** (MLP,Religion,fandom of whatever) in public should be put under arrest.
I mean you can play with your tienne wienni in your four walls as long as you want. But don't do it in front of another person in public, especially kids. Just don't.
People who aggressively spreading their **** (MLP,Religion,fandom of whatever) in public should be put under arrest.
I mean you can play with your tienne wienni in your four walls as long as you want. But don't do it in front of another person in public, especially kids. Just don't.
#5
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izaya (08/12/2015) [-] There's a hobo on my street who spits on people.
What kind of university major hobos do you ***** know
What kind of university major hobos do you ***** know
#2
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commiechameleon (08/12/2015) [-] Knew a hobo that lived in town, everybody called him Hugh; used to keep himself fed selling artsy hand-woven bracelets and **** to the hipsters and college kids in town, had a little cardboard sign said "Hugh's knots" and all on the sidewalk. He was ******* weird though, always had this thing for eating yarn and twine and **** ; don't ask, I just didn't bother questioning it.
Anyway, my buddy and I were walking through town one night looking for something for his girlfriend's birthday. Shops on main street were closed up early (it was a sunday) so we decided " **** it, let's see what Hobo Hughie's got". Hugh didn't have anything, but he told us to follow him and he'll make something for us. Led us down the alley, then turned around, dropped his crusty trousers and with a grin says "watch this!" and drops the nastiest, raunchiest, smelliest goddamn turd I've ever seen; picks it up, shakes it around to reveal a ******* handmade rosary bracelet out of twill and yarn. Horrified, rI ask if he's ******* kidding right now. Hughie smiles wide and says "Nope, I **** Hugh knot"
Anyway, my buddy and I were walking through town one night looking for something for his girlfriend's birthday. Shops on main street were closed up early (it was a sunday) so we decided " **** it, let's see what Hobo Hughie's got". Hugh didn't have anything, but he told us to follow him and he'll make something for us. Led us down the alley, then turned around, dropped his crusty trousers and with a grin says "watch this!" and drops the nastiest, raunchiest, smelliest goddamn turd I've ever seen; picks it up, shakes it around to reveal a ******* handmade rosary bracelet out of twill and yarn. Horrified, rI ask if he's ******* kidding right now. Hughie smiles wide and says "Nope, I **** Hugh knot"
#37 to #36
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alexithymic (08/13/2015) [-] During the 4th great shinobi war everyone is issued a uniform headband as no one is divided by country anymore. Believe it says "shinobi" or somethin like that.
#38 to #37
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unikornking (08/13/2015) [-] Ah, that's what I thought. Gave up on the anime around 250 and currently reading the manga.
#39 to #38
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alexithymic (08/13/2015) [-] Yeah the anime has taken forever to progress. Mango finished a while ago so unless you're waiting for paper versions you can read it all online somewhere I'm sure
#40 to #39
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unikornking (08/13/2015) [-] Yea I managed to find all 700 bundled in one torrent, so I'm just reading through it on my phone.
#14
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improbable (08/12/2015) [-] why do you know so much about limbs and body parts but not the correct amount of hair on the genital?
what are you, a homosexual?
what are you, a homosexual?
#50 to #14
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SuperHyperCrazy (08/13/2015) [-] Potion seller, I'm going into battle and I want only your strongest potions
#45
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mikeymikee (08/13/2015) [-] "hurr durr because you can count limbs faster than individual hairs dis joke is stupid"
Leave it to FJ to take a joke way too seriously
Leave it to FJ to take a joke way too seriously
#42
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TheSchwartz (08/13/2015) [-] Cats have approx 60,000 hairs per square inch on their backs and approx 120,000 hairs per square inch on their undersides. The average dimensions for a cat are between 9.1 - 9.8 inches in height, 18 inches long (without tail), and a tail 12 inches long. Do the math.
#64
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memeproxd (08/13/2015) [-] nice homeless joke meme bro. would be better if you used the official meme font though.
#29
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zanybruh (08/13/2015) [-] I used to live in Pittsfield, Mass. there was this homeless guy that always dressed in tie dye and acted like he was high 24/7.
the rumor goes that his grand kid spiked his drink and that his mind couldn't handle the acid, so now he's on a permanent high or something.
the rumor goes that his grand kid spiked his drink and that his mind couldn't handle the acid, so now he's on a permanent high or something.
#32 to #29
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darksideofthebeast (08/13/2015) [-] >implyging that even happens
permanent psychosis, sure... But psychosis is not like being high on acid, it's one of the side effects of LSD (temporary psychosis) but psychosis is what that "permanent high" so he's probably just ****** in the head if that's true.
permanent psychosis, sure... But psychosis is not like being high on acid, it's one of the side effects of LSD (temporary psychosis) but psychosis is what that "permanent high" so he's probably just ****** in the head if that's true.
#22
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jacklane (08/13/2015) [-] because you can count small quantities of large parts much more easily than small parts that are in the thousands or even hundreds of thousands?
#68
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drakonpunch (08/13/2015) [-] It's funny because pussy and cock are both common names for animals as well as body parts. Haha. This joke has never been done before a million times. What an original joke that nobody has heard before.
#57
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shadowdoogen (08/13/2015) [-] **shadowdoogen used "*roll picture*"**
**shadowdoogen rolled image**"Well when they keep stealing all the the white girls, you kinda got to know what you're up against."
**shadowdoogen rolled image**"Well when they keep stealing all the the white girls, you kinda got to know what you're up against."
#31
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thewanderinghatter (08/13/2015) [-] Eh, good try, maybe. Good is too kind, it was almost adequate, but that might be pushing it.
