How to hide farts. . I Jake In - he Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dripped my textbook and faded at the same time Meth
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#2 - kmegabyte
Reply +241 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
that's how you're supposed to assert your dominance. you slam the book onto the ground to get their attention then you let them know whos boss by doing what you were meant to do fart. 10/10 would label as Alpha
#11 - payseht
Reply +156 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
>be on bus
>need to fart
>sync long fart with music so nobody can hear
>musical farts, letting out a little when the music is loud
>pff pff pff pff pff-pff
>realize I'm actually with my headphones plugged in
>everyone now knows I'm listening to We Will Rock You
<MFW
#16 to #11 - anon id: de24e302
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
pffff pfffff pfffff pffffff pf-pf*
#1 - nwbballplayer
Reply +80 123456789123345869
(02/18/2014) [-]
Wow, that plan stinks.
#27 to #1 - stinks
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
you stink
#31 to #27 - nurples
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
You are stinks
You are stinks
#21 - capricore
Reply +44 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
Not long ago.Monday, after a sunday going too long.

>Be a bit sick at work.Freaking farts of doom,
>Decide to take the taxi home.
>All the ride hold on the urge to fart
>When i get near home,pay the fare,give a tip.
>Open door.(srsly dizzy)
>Hit my head out of the car
>At the same moment rip one.
>Slam the door and walk away
>Edge of my eye,see the taxi driver struggling in the car.
#14 - RomanR
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
>In class
>Urge to rip major ass
>Do it
> Hey guys, is it just me or does it smell like popcorn in here
>Everyone takes a nice deep breath
>mfw
User avatar #34 to #14 - yumpod
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
that is my favorite thing to do i didnt know anyone else did that trick. but it only works once per person
#17 - zaizer
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
Doesn't know how to fart silently...

******* casual

All you gotta do is push your chocolate pipe gently, little by little until you feel a slight breeze escape without pushing harder, keep constant the pressure and in 10 seconds your vowels should be relieved. Can take a bit of practice
User avatar #28 to #17 - molestedbeggar
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
>chocolate pipe
User avatar #26 to #17 - gameshredder
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
>Vowels
#37 to #26 - zaizer
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
**** I new I ****** up somewhere...
User avatar #43 to #37 - benjaminbutton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
Knew*, lel. Now worries dude. Happens to the best of us. Good post though.
#44 to #43 - zaizer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
Well it seems I can't spelling today... Good thing I have the non-native English speaker excuse
Well it seems I can't spelling today... Good thing I have the non-native English speaker excuse
User avatar #45 to #44 - benjaminbutton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
You're non native? Good on you, your English is impressive. It is a hard feat to learn because none of it makes sense.
User avatar #46 to #45 - zaizer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
It's not hard to learn when they shove it down your throat since kindergarten more than your actual native language
User avatar #47 to #46 - benjaminbutton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
Yea, I wish that American education focused more on learning second languages when we are young. It is such a useful skill and makes a person a lot smarter. The only chance I have now of really learning a language is through immersion, which sucks.
User avatar #48 to #47 - zaizer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
American education? Dude, I don't live in USA. Mexican education makes you learn it since it will be more useful for your career in Mexico more than Spanish
User avatar #49 to #48 - benjaminbutton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
I never said you did haha. reread it. I live in America and I'm saying I wish I had the same opportunity you had when learning a second language.
#50 to #49 - zaizer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
Oh ok. Well you can always learn Swedish if you are interested. It way similar to English and it's grammatical rules are more simple than most languages
User avatar #51 to #50 - benjaminbutton
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
Well that would be convenient. Thanks for the advice, friend.
#52 to #51 - zaizer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/20/2014) [-]
Yay, glad to help!
Yay, glad to help!
User avatar #42 to #37 - Dember
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
>new
User avatar #20 to #17 - benjaminbutton
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
You heard that "A", "E", "I", "O", and "U." You've been relieved of your duty. "Y" you stay here, we are still figuring out what the **** to do with you.
User avatar #13 - bjartur
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
I woke myself up becuase I farted loudly


In class...
#12 - aguywithlonghair
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
Oh god, this is so funny.
#23 - thepastamaypwnyou
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
#18 - skippydip
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/19/2014) [-]
I'm glad it was highlighted, otherwise I wouldn't know which bit was important.