How to hide farts. . I Jake In - he Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dripped my textbook and faded at the same time
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How to hide farts

Tags: Meth
I Jake In - he
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I
had the bright idea that if I dripped my
textbook and faded at the same time,
nobody would hear it. I dropped my
textbook, everyine locked at me, then I
fated. Loudly
Views: 39985
Favorited: 63
Submitted: 02/18/2014
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#2 - kmegabyte (02/19/2014) [-]
that's how you're supposed to assert your dominance. you slam the book onto the ground to get their attention then you let them know whos boss by doing what you were meant to do fart. 10/10 would label as Alpha
#11 - payseht ONLINE (02/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>be on bus
>need to fart
>sync long fart with music so nobody can hear
>musical farts, letting out a little when the music is loud
>pff pff pff pff pff-pff
>realize I'm actually with my headphones plugged in
>everyone now knows I'm listening to We Will Rock You
#1 - nwbballplayer (02/18/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Wow, that plan stinks.
#21 - capricore (02/19/2014) [-]
Not long ago.Monday, after a sunday going too long.

>Be a bit sick at work.Freaking farts of doom,
>Decide to take the taxi home.
>All the ride hold on the urge to fart
>When i get near home,pay the fare,give a tip.
>Open door.(srsly dizzy)
>Hit my head out of the car
>At the same moment rip one.
>Slam the door and walk away
>Edge of my eye,see the taxi driver struggling in the car.
#14 - RomanR (02/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>In class
>Urge to rip major ass
>Do it
> Hey guys, is it just me or does it smell like popcorn in here
>Everyone takes a nice deep breath
#17 - zaizer (02/19/2014) [+] (15 replies)
Doesn't know how to fart silently...

******* casual

All you gotta do is push your chocolate pipe gently, little by little until you feel a slight breeze escape without pushing harder, keep constant the pressure and in 10 seconds your vowels should be relieved. Can take a bit of practice
User avatar #13 - bjartur (02/19/2014) [-]
I woke myself up becuase I farted loudly

In class...
#12 - aguywithlonghair (02/19/2014) [-]
Oh god, this is so funny.
#18 - skippydip (02/19/2014) [-]
I'm glad it was highlighted, otherwise I wouldn't know which bit was important.
User avatar #5 - taokami ONLINE (02/19/2014) [+] (4 replies)
You could spread your cheeks then fart silently. By putting pressure on either of your butt cheeks and them moving either left or right (depending on which cheek you're sitting on, move towards your left when you're seating on your right cheek, and do the vice versa when seating on your left), you can let out the most silent of farts ever.
#8 to #7 - taokami ONLINE (02/19/2014) [-]
at least no one heard it. And it'll only smell really bad when the air is humid.
#9 - adifferentjones (02/19/2014) [-]
Aaaaaaand audible chortling
Aaaaaaand audible chortling
#35 - BigDoktor (02/19/2014) [-]
HFW his plan doesn't work
HFW his plan doesn't work
User avatar #32 - stealingbikes (02/19/2014) [-]
Good thing he highlighted the joke. It was so subtle no one would've caught it otherwise.
#4 - majorpxx (02/19/2014) [-]
Why not do The cough louder than fart method?
User avatar #40 - regaesnhoj (02/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I usually let out small squeaks hoping it'll sound like a fly ...

Doesn't work, I always ***** myself
User avatar #29 - elochai (02/19/2014) [-]
false, the correct maneuver is to pull out a mason jar, take off your pants, and just rip into the jar
if you're quick enough, the sound will be sealed along with the gas and no one will be the wiser
#53 - anonymous (02/21/2014) [-]
HOWTO hide farts:
1. Get better bacterial symbiosis and better stomach flaura
2.. Not need to fart
#41 - ExiaGn (02/19/2014) [-]
This actually had me laughing for a few minutes.
This actually had me laughing for a few minutes.
#39 - anonymous (02/19/2014) [-]
Out of every joke up to date, fart jokes will never get old.
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