Highschool stories
Before you ask, yes I'm bored.
My highschool is weird, I figured I'd share some since I find them entertaining.
Most of these center around my english teacher, if I do another I'll branch out I guess.
My english teacher told me I was a "Kinky Autosadomasochist who burnt his foot with hot love oil"
For a creative writing, we got given a stimulus which was a woman staring over a city at some tall building in the distance, could have been a tower, or a grain silo or something. When asked what it was, my english teacher immediately replied, "It's a phallus, it's a hummus phallus, a half K high dick..." and so forth for about 5 minutes, with choice phrases including "A dick the size of the american national debt"
new classroom, I ended up sitting at the closest desk to the teachers desk, opposite the door
no way I can leave the classroom without him knowing
Find stash of old newspapers in it
Whenever teacher turns around, or gets distracted in any way really, get a newspaper (near the end I'd just grab a few pages because my stash was running out) and be reading it when he turned around
he'd take it off me immediately
do it 2-3 times a lesson
for 9 months
Today
it's been maybe a month since my stash ran out
get newspaper on my way to school
teacher talking to classroom, can see me all the time
turns around for 0.1 seconds to answer student question
pull out newspaper
teacher turns around
The look he gave me was worth everything
find the most convoluted interpretation of everything
on every question find a way to sit on the fence
he now asks me specifically for input for the most over the top way of interpreting everything
trying to outdo myself
last week I turned 'The Tempest' into a metaphor for the British rules of monarchical succession and how they relate to king James VI & ! in terms of the crowns being anthropomorphised into two of the main characters.
teacher sends everyone emails with class notes and extra stuff, including where to go for class each day
never read them
always find my way to class just before he marks me as late
always be able to understand **** better than anyone who reads emails
teacher hates this
I don't know how much people will like them, but if you're interested I got a lot more weird **** that happens at my school besides my english class.
like what? you say.
like:
entire upperhalf of a wall in the IT rooms is covered in quotes from teacher, who hates all of the quotes and is too short to get them down.
Good 20 or so of them up now, we have more on file but never got around to putting them up
the stupidest stupid ever to walk the face of the Earth.
Bit about him:
complete sperglord
brings cricket and/or religion into EVERYTHING (he's muslim)
lets call him spergy
spergy, upon volunteering to help with a 'fashion parade' to tell people about a fundraiser people were doing, gets onto his hands and knees and crawls through the school assembly.
he does not see anything wrong with this
took us a year to teach & convince him that 'chicks' means girls
now insists he new all along and was 'trolin' us
enough about spergy
theres a group (with me in it sometimes) who do all the **** you guys do, mtg, RPs, absolute racism, self degredation, innapropriate sexuality, etc
playing RPs with them gets interesting.
I like to make up my own systems so it gets confusing sometimes, but just today, a few interesting bits are:
"Ma'am, is that your light panzer on the 3rd floor?"
"yes"
"how did you get it up there?"
"I took the elevator"
"So now, after yelling nazi military titles at her for several minutes, you have seduced the sexy german chick and are now choking her while you **** her pelvis broken next to the white house guards you seduced earlier, who are still ******* in the entrance hall"
this occurred shortly before the secret jewish conspiracy began summoning "Jewthulhu"
So tell me if you want more
My highschool is weird, I figured I'd share some since I find them entertaining.
Most of these center around my english teacher, if I do another I'll branch out I guess.
My english teacher told me I was a "Kinky Autosadomasochist who burnt his foot with hot love oil"
For a creative writing, we got given a stimulus which was a woman staring over a city at some tall building in the distance, could have been a tower, or a grain silo or something. When asked what it was, my english teacher immediately replied, "It's a phallus, it's a hummus phallus, a half K high dick..." and so forth for about 5 minutes, with choice phrases including "A dick the size of the american national debt"
new classroom, I ended up sitting at the closest desk to the teachers desk, opposite the door
no way I can leave the classroom without him knowing
Find stash of old newspapers in it
Whenever teacher turns around, or gets distracted in any way really, get a newspaper (near the end I'd just grab a few pages because my stash was running out) and be reading it when he turned around
he'd take it off me immediately
do it 2-3 times a lesson
for 9 months
Today
it's been maybe a month since my stash ran out
get newspaper on my way to school
teacher talking to classroom, can see me all the time
turns around for 0.1 seconds to answer student question
pull out newspaper
teacher turns around
The look he gave me was worth everything
find the most convoluted interpretation of everything
on every question find a way to sit on the fence
he now asks me specifically for input for the most over the top way of interpreting everything
trying to outdo myself
last week I turned 'The Tempest' into a metaphor for the British rules of monarchical succession and how they relate to king James VI & ! in terms of the crowns being anthropomorphised into two of the main characters.
teacher sends everyone emails with class notes and extra stuff, including where to go for class each day
never read them
always find my way to class just before he marks me as late
always be able to understand **** better than anyone who reads emails
teacher hates this
I don't know how much people will like them, but if you're interested I got a lot more weird **** that happens at my school besides my english class.
like what? you say.
like:
entire upperhalf of a wall in the IT rooms is covered in quotes from teacher, who hates all of the quotes and is too short to get them down.
Good 20 or so of them up now, we have more on file but never got around to putting them up
the stupidest stupid ever to walk the face of the Earth.
Bit about him:
complete sperglord
brings cricket and/or religion into EVERYTHING (he's muslim)
lets call him spergy
spergy, upon volunteering to help with a 'fashion parade' to tell people about a fundraiser people were doing, gets onto his hands and knees and crawls through the school assembly.
he does not see anything wrong with this
took us a year to teach & convince him that 'chicks' means girls
now insists he new all along and was 'trolin' us
enough about spergy
theres a group (with me in it sometimes) who do all the **** you guys do, mtg, RPs, absolute racism, self degredation, innapropriate sexuality, etc
playing RPs with them gets interesting.
I like to make up my own systems so it gets confusing sometimes, but just today, a few interesting bits are:
"Ma'am, is that your light panzer on the 3rd floor?"
"yes"
"how did you get it up there?"
"I took the elevator"
"So now, after yelling nazi military titles at her for several minutes, you have seduced the sexy german chick and are now choking her while you **** her pelvis broken next to the white house guards you seduced earlier, who are still ******* in the entrance hall"
this occurred shortly before the secret jewish conspiracy began summoning "Jewthulhu"
So tell me if you want more
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