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Hail Satan

anan! HAVE '
TO "COME
urt, Aviatia? w''.
FATHER LET ME
HAS a PLAN THAT ; uteris
IVIE ; THE REST or My
LIFE AT THE 33% AND
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ratatat? HIM. Arm ENE Hm
HICE‘ LL mu TO m
HELL JUST FDR mm
...
+958
Views: 36569
Favorited: 51
Submitted: 10/22/2014
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[ 111 comments ]
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-19
#22 - krizz (10/22/2014) [+] (17 replies)
stickied by gypsydude
**krizz rolls 62**
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+72
#6 - sirbustyabals (10/22/2014) [-]
Welcome to Hell, bitch!
Welcome to Hell, bitch!
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+7
User avatar #8 to #6 - brownskin (10/22/2014) [-]
Why would anyone do drugs when you could just reap souls?
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0
User avatar #9 to #8 - meanberry (10/22/2014) [-]
Why not both?
A little bit of speed and you got the energy to reap souls al night long.
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#42 to #9 - anon (10/23/2014) [-]
Someone didn't get the reference.jpeg
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+55
#13 - lilnuggetbob (10/22/2014) [-]
1080p HD
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User avatar #31 to #13 - twentyseconds (10/22/2014) [-]
when i worked for Wal-Mart electronic people asked me if the tvs were 10 ADP
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#63 to #13 - anon (10/23/2014) [-]
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#32 - anon (10/22/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** use virtual reality to get comatose patients back into their bodies
**anonymous rolled image** use virtual reality to get comatose patients back into their bodies
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#33 to #32 - anon (10/22/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** i will avenge you so shut up
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User avatar #41 to #33 - artificerp (10/23/2014) [-]
these rolls oh my god
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+4
#51 - thesilveresteagle (10/23/2014) [-]
**thesilveresteagle rolled image** I thought he was going to rape her. What has this site done to me?
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0
#76 to #51 - sketchysketchist ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
**sketchysketchist rolled image**
This scooby doo porn gave me a raging hard clue...
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User avatar #102 to #76 - TheFixer (10/23/2014) [-]
sauce on the Scooby doo porn
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+6
User avatar #37 - ubadubba (10/22/2014) [-]
This 'God's plan' stuff is ******** . I'm a well-read enough Christian to know that God decided not to interfere with the grand scheme of human existence. He knows everything that's gonna happen, but he lets the world make it happen.
This stupid idea literally says that we don't have any free will. None at all.
What is this, Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning?
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0
#98 to #37 - isabitofaplonker (10/23/2014) [-]
Okay being an avid history nut who knows everything about the founding of Christianity and it's schisms I'd like to say that you're a dumbcunt trying to rationalise your dumbcunt out of touch point of view by saying God's not an interventionist when all the Abrahamic faiths unequivocally claim that he is.

Also saying you're a ''well-read enough Christian'' is like me saying I'm a well-read enough mein-kampf reader, it doesn't make you educated just ******* brainwashed.
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User avatar #38 to #37 - revanmal (10/22/2014) [-]
>Rains down fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gamorrah
>Floods the earth, killing all humans except one family
>Supposedly answers prayers even today

If THAT'S non-interference, I wonder what it would be like if God actually interfered with human life. Would we all be on puppet strings?
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+4
User avatar #40 to #37 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Then why try to change people's minds about believing in him or not? Why would he test peoples' faith, if he knew the outcome already?
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User avatar #43 to #40 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
When bad things happen to you, it's not God testing your faith. Your faith may or may not have been tested, but it wasn't just God giving you some kind of exam. In my own opinion as a Christian, saying that something "tested your faith" is kind of a moot point. People shouldn't base their beliefs on how fortunate they are. We live in a world with good and bad, and sometimes bad **** happens.
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+3
User avatar #44 to #43 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
I might not be a Christian, but I know, for a ******* fact, that in the Bible, God and Satan place bets on some guy's faith. Satan goes around ******* with the guy's life to win a bet with God. If making a ******* bet with SATAN isn't testing your faith, I don't know what is.
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-2
User avatar #45 to #44 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Does it matter?
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+1
User avatar #46 to #45 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
That's interfering.
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-4
User avatar #48 to #46 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
A lot of the stories in the bible are not meant to be taken literally. After all, the bible itself is a COLLECTION of written works, not one narrative with a singular purpose, so you can't really interpret every passage the same way. It's not just page after page of "the word of God".
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+2
User avatar #50 to #48 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
That ******* excuse again?
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0
User avatar #57 to #50 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Well now hold on just a minute. People often like to point out passages in the bible that say things like how women should be stoned to death or something if she is unfaithful, and then say things like "Oh the bible promotes cruelty and abuse", when in fact a lot of those passages are just things like records of old tribal laws, or allegorical stories written by individual people. Like I said, the bible isn't just "the word of God". It's a small collection of various books throughout history, each having been written with its own purpose and meaning. You can't treat them all the same way, and you can't fault the bible for being something that it isn't.
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+3
User avatar #68 to #57 - ninjaroo (10/23/2014) [-]
The format of the bible is that of a record, not a narrative. On top of that, the passages you're talking about are called "mitzvot" - The Hebrew word for "law."

Their purpose is literal instruction in how to deal with various perceived transgressions. Essentially an ancient legal document, rooted in religion. Saying that it was never meant to apply to Jewish people is completely wrong, and not even really a matter of interpretation.

That said, you can argue about whether or not they were meant to apply to Christians. Given the time period in which they were written, I'd say yes. The counter argument is that Christ came to "fulfill" the law, meaning no one else would be obligated to follow it.
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-1
User avatar #79 to #68 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
I've heard this explanation before. I won't pretend to be a biblical scholar, so I can't really offer explicit details.
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+1
User avatar #58 to #57 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
If you can get every person who uses the passages you're talking about to stop using them to condone their actions, then I'll stop judging the religious people of the world.
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User avatar #59 to #58 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Good ******* luck.
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-1
User avatar #61 to #58 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Those people aren't commuting those acts because they're religious. They're doing it because they're bad people, or extremely misguided. You shouldn't blame all of us for the actions of a few, especial;y when it's a religion as wide spread as Christianity.
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User avatar #64 to #61 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Once you get the retards zealots of your religion to calm the down, then maybe your religion will stop being hated.
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User avatar #65 to #64 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
There are over 2 billion Christians in the world, and you've taken the actions of a small minority, and come to the conclusion that every single one of them is a person that deserves to be hated. Nevermind the idea that people should be judged on their own actions. You've really got it all figured out.
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+1
User avatar #66 to #65 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
What's your opinion on missionaries?
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User avatar #77 to #66 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
I'm not well enough informed about any major missionary groups to form an opinion. In general, there's nothing inherently wrong with spreading your belief system. If someone invites you to a church, for example, it's because on some level they care. When it comes to how and by what means, people are going to do what they're going to do. The act itself is a good thing though.
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+1
User avatar #78 to #77 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
I mean the people who go to countries, like South Africa, to help in the name of God.
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User avatar #80 to #78 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Helping in the name of God and helping of your own accord are equality righteous acts. As long as you're a kind person, Christian or otherwise, then you'll be rewarded in the afterlife. Taking on the name of Christian is just a superficial act. As long as two people, at their core, hold the same values, then they are equally righteous in the eyes of God. The organization of a belief system and the surface traditions are aesthetic, but that doesn't mean they're useless. Some people feel like it helps them organize their thoughts and beliefs. To each his own I suppose.
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User avatar #81 to #80 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Do you think they should put so much emphasis on the fact that they are doing it in the name of God? Not that they are doing it to help people.
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+1
User avatar #82 to #81 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Some many people believe that if a person lives their life ignorant of God, they will suffer damnation. I spoke to one such person in college. he believed that the Holy Spirit was a LITERAL force that compelled human beings into recognizing the presence of the a heavenly father, and thus have no excuse not to at least believe monotheistically, though he was a little more lenient when it came to them spontaneously acquiring knowledge of the story of Jesus' birth and life . I disagreed with him and we argued about fir about twenty minutes in front of an ever-growing crowd of people, until I decided I wasn't going to get anywhere and left.
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User avatar #54 to #50 - meganinja ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
"Sir, do you have any proof that you did not kill this woman?"
"Yes your honor, there's security camera footage that I was somewhere 200 kilometers away at the time of her death."
"That ******* excuse again?"
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+1
User avatar #56 to #54 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Tell me which ones are not meant to be taken literally. ******************** one. Do that, and I'll admit fault and drop the subject.
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User avatar #72 to #56 - sketchE (10/23/2014) [-]
sir as an agnostic i would request that you quit making an ass of yourself
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+1
User avatar #73 to #72 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Okay.
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User avatar #60 to #56 - meganinja ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
I'm not well enough versed to tell you which ones are and which ones aren't. Every story, at least in the old testament, has at least some element of metaphor in my opinion. More specific than that I can't say.
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User avatar #47 to #46 - wraithguard ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Do you have the actual passage?
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+1
User avatar #49 to #47 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
Holy **** , I just remembered who it was. It was Job.
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#52 to #49 - wraithguard has deleted their comment [-]
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+2
User avatar #53 to #52 - vortexrain (10/23/2014) [-]
If I burnt down your house, rape your wife, and kill your children, but pay you afterwards, it's okay?
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User avatar #83 to #52 - YllekNayr ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
His wife and kids still got ******* killed for no reason.
Job got a NEW wife and kids.
What the **** did his family do to deserve that kind of death to satisfy the ego of an omnipotent being?
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#84 to #83 - wraithguard has deleted their comment [-]
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User avatar #86 to #47 - YllekNayr ONLINE (10/23/2014) [-]
Yet you still treat this book like it's not riddled with ******** and malicious actions by the ultimate dick of the universe.
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+2
#21 to #15 - darknesincontrol (10/22/2014) [-]
wanna do it?
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+10
#62 - vaderforpresident (10/23/2014) [-]
**** the false god, our lord vader is the only god for me he would never paralyse someone
**** the false god, our lord vader is the only god for me he would never paralyse someone
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0
#87 to #62 - theraped (10/23/2014) [-]
will our dancing please you lord vader
will our dancing please you lord vader
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+2
#96 - Lateralism (10/23/2014) [-]
Fixed
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+1
#97 - isabitofaplonker (10/23/2014) [-]
Christians on FJ? I have a feeling there's gonna be a lot of comments trying to justify why it's totally okay to be Christian and it's not ******* stupid or anything. even though it is
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-1
User avatar #100 to #97 - TheFixer (10/23/2014) [-]
bait harder 0/10 because there will probably be someone whos foolish enough to waste time and energy falling for the bait.
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#103 to #100 - isabitofaplonker (10/23/2014) [-]
Not even baiting, I am genuinely butt hurt that there's dumbcunt Christians on my humour section.
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#105 to #103 - TheFixer (10/23/2014) [-]
good for you sally no one cares.
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#107 to #105 - isabitofaplonker (10/23/2014) [-]
You do.
You do.
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-2
User avatar #35 - anitasarkeesiansjw (10/22/2014) [-]
YES! this is exactly what men and christians do to womyn who ask questions.
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+1
User avatar #39 to #35 - dagold (10/23/2014) [-]
this is bait so obvious it might as well have a neon sign
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+1
#89 - doctorprofessornv (10/23/2014) [-]
God isn't a guard rail to prevent you from slipping over the edge, nor is he the guy who pushed you over. He's more like a rope you can grab as you fall. Hanging on might be difficult, but it's better than falling into the abyss and going splat. More importantly, now you have something to climb back up to the top with.

Just my two cents. Maybe not a perfect analogy, but I like it.
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#92 to #89 - anon (10/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
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#93 to #89 - lerruno (10/23/2014) [-]
**lerruno rolled image** This is what god does....
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0
#11 - genralraam (10/22/2014) [-]
there are worse things in the planet
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-1
#106 - somuchfreedom (10/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
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User avatar #29 - imagnetsux (10/22/2014) [-]
god gives you awesome video game system you can work with the remaining movement in your left middle finger

nobody to tell you to go outside or exercise
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User avatar #28 - klick (10/22/2014) [-]
If someone asks "Why did God do this to me?" then the answer "It's all part of God's Plan" seems like a reasonable answer. You believe in God, and just needed a reminder that you are a small piece of his grand plan...love and honer and all that stuff.

It's when people are just sad in general about something that just happened or is happening to them and all they want to do is vent and get some support from friends; and then THEIR response is "It's part of God's plan." That pisses me off.
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User avatar #25 - Sperit (10/22/2014) [-]
But what if she never was paralyzed
and then lived a happy life
she soon married a man and had a genus son
he events a super Drug that cures cancer
and then America Weaponless it
and then all of humanity is killed by a disease worse than Ebola
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0
User avatar #26 to #25 - adunsaveme (10/22/2014) [-]
shh, sperit
shh
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User avatar #69 to #25 - ninjaroo (10/23/2014) [-]
Now, I'm reasonably sure you're joking, but if you're not the correct response to that situation would be to interfere with the people turning it into a weapon. Or hey, not have cancer in the first place.
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