really though, what's the proper medium?
I'm ******* with this girl, connected with her emotionally, but she's a chick with a great ass body and is used to a lot of attention. I wanna be attentive, yet assertive, nice and cute with her, yet not too clingy. I want her to fiend for my attention, rather than vice versa. Seems like a difficult thing to do with certain people I suppose.
It's just a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt. Because of her personality, me leaving myself vulnerable to someone like HER, is just such a bad way to go about it. The 'manipulation' as you've put it, isn't to hurt her, just to make myself a little more secure in the 'relationship'.
Honestly, if you feel vulnerable in a bad way, the relationship probably isn't for you. It's fine to feel vulnerable in the sense that you feel exposed and free of burden - that can often lead to a more secure and supportive relationship. But if you're genuinely worried that being yourself around her will lead to devastation to the point that you feel the need to control her emotionally, either you're going to get seriously hurt or she's going to get seriously hurt.
Gah, I know.
Basically, I connected with her emotionally. But she's a selfish person in general, she says she wants what we have to move forward; see where it goes. She wants to get to know me as a person before we get in a relationship. But it's not like she even tries to get to know me. It's one of those things where she likes me for how I make her feel, rather for who I am. And I'm not insecure about myself, so much. I like who I am. I'm a good person, pretty attractive, (Not to sound vain, just showing there's a good level of physical attraction.) But she pretty much told me she can't promise she'll be loyal at this moment. I made her admit it, practically, because it was bothering me. She doesn't wanna be in a relationship with me YET, but I have no security for the time inbetween. She says she doesn't wanna ruin it, because if she goes to a party and gets drunk; she'll get with someone else. yet that situation would be different if we're in a relationship. So she says she's just avoiding going to any parties without me, because she doesn't wanna do it.
And that just doesn't make me feel any more secure. Our primary argument revolved around the fact that she's a toxic person in general. And I know she is, and I fear for my emotional stability during this entire thing. I wish I just got with her physically and avoided all of this emotional **** with her, because obviously she isn't a good person like that. She's cried during multiple arguments of ours, purely for the fact that she says she doesn't deserve me, doesn't wanna hurt me, all this nonsense.
I'm sorry for rambling, it's just I'm in a really odd situation and I'm ****** up right now mentally. I even had a dream, I overheard her cheating on me through a phone call. it's not like I love this girl, yet that just made my heart DROP.
I don't know, coming over to her house at 1AM, comforting her while she cried almost hysterically, dealing with personal **** that I helped her get through, and continue to do so. Yet she's willing to get with somebody else if it became convenient.
She isn't good for me, she's toxic and I feel will hurt me. I guess I'm being a little pathetic, having not been with a girl for a solid year; and having this beautiful one around my arms, it's hard to just drop it all. I'm a caring person, I genuinely was there for her, for non-selfish reasons, but she's just more on the slut-side.
I'm gonna be honest with you. She's keeping you on retainer. You're the guy she moves in with in three years if she can't find a better alternative. If I were you, I'd end it.
I don't know, man. I mean, I make her laugh constantly. She's told me I know her better than anyone else, (which can attribute to the whole, selfish, shouldered situation ik) But she even accidentally slipped out an I love you, while I was with her, and we were laying down. When she says she likes me, is glad she met me, all that **** , it ***** with my head. It's making this all a lot more difficult.
Ew, admin changed the thumb icons. They look terrible.
Look, there's one of two things going on here: she's either manipulating you (which is ironic because you want to manipulate her) or she's emotionally damaged. So either call it off, or call her up on it. Discuss it, properly, without tactics.