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Genesis

AND UNDER NO
CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU
ALLOWED TO EAT
FROM THAT TREE!
WHAT' S THAT?
AND WHY IS T
DIFFERENT FROM MINE?
YEAH, WHAT
ARE THEY FOR?'
WHAT ARE THOSE
DOGS DOING?
EAT THE FRUIT ALREADY!!
JUST SHUT UPI!
...
+1040
Views: 39428
Favorited: 109
Submitted: 01/22/2015
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[ 102 comments ]
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87 comments displayed.
Reply
+79
#31 - willindor ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
Mod's FW they see Eve's nipples
Mod's FW they see Eve's nipples
Reply
+254
#5 - include (01/23/2015) [-]
I'm keeping this for purposes
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-1
#54 to #5 - anon (01/23/2015) [-]
You and me - baby - we're nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do it on Discovery Channel.
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+1
User avatar #28 to #5 - whtkid ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
Need... Wallpaper sized
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+1
#30 to #5 - demonbreadofnorth ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
**demonbreadofnorth used "*roll picture*"**
**demonbreadofnorth rolled image** ******* , some thing just never change
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+1
#58 to #5 - pinknameaccount (01/23/2015) [-]
Here, since that black line on the left was bothering me.
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+6
#60 to #58 - savethepandas (01/23/2015) [-]
YES!

YES, I DO TAKE PLEASURE IN A MANS PAIN!
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+9
#66 to #62 - savethepandas (01/23/2015) [-]
YOUR MOVE, MR. LAWMAN
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+6
#69 to #66 - pinknameaccount (01/23/2015) [-]
Git Rekt Scrub
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+2
#70 to #69 - savethepandas (01/23/2015) [-]
Shhh, I'm bluer than you, scrub.

Also, half life 3 confd
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+2
#71 to #70 - rdobet (01/23/2015) [-]
Not on my main you aren't.
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+1
#86 to #71 - savethepandas (01/23/2015) [-]
I accept defeat.

I can still call you a fagogot, faggot.
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+2
#89 to #66 - kingdaniel (01/23/2015) [-]
YFW
YFW
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+70
#14 - gentlemantoast (01/23/2015) [-]
look at all that funny
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+19
#3 - butakun (01/23/2015) [-]
I have to admit, I find this idea fun.

"Me damn it, humans are too ******* stupid to deal with directly. **** it, I'll just set the system in motion and let it sort itself out."
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+4
User avatar #4 to #3 - didimighty [OP](01/23/2015) [-]
And after millions of years, God looks down on Earth and sees a bunch of faggots addicted to internet, going to wars, killing eachothers, destoying the planet and says: "Yes, just as I planned, going to buy me some popcorn cause this is some harcore ****************** !"
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+127
#8 - funpunk (01/23/2015) [-]
Anyone else find the way she drew Adam and Eve adorable?
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0
User avatar #67 to #8 - thismustbeseen (01/23/2015) [-]
yeah. Just as adorable as your pic.
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+1
User avatar #24 to #8 - Sperit (01/23/2015) [-]
Dude that is your great great etc.. grandma
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+6
#9 to #8 - Virt (01/23/2015) [-]
yea it was pretty damn adorable heres some more adorable for you
yea it was pretty damn adorable
heres some more adorable for you
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+16
#21 to #9 - darthblam (01/23/2015) [-]
She has human ears and animal ears..
How does that work?
Also, that's just dumb..
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+5
User avatar #26 to #21 - baaltomekk (01/23/2015) [-]
And now imagine that the animal ears process sound at a different speed than the human ears and she hears everything with a slight echo.
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+1
#51 to #26 - anon (01/23/2015) [-]
Just to burst your bubble: Do you really think our ears (2 ears just) process sound EXACT the same speed? (hint: they don't)

So why don't we hear echo from our inferior 2 ears? Because our brain compensates by synchronizing it. I'm oversimplifying a bit. But to be fair, a being with 4 ears is not unrealistic, although unheard of afaik.
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0
User avatar #52 to #26 - thepinkestofthepie (01/23/2015) [-]
maybe the cat ears aren't connected to the brain
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+1
User avatar #55 to #21 - shadowallyx (01/23/2015) [-]
Its for her to hear you say how adorable she is even better
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0
User avatar #76 to #21 - xxiixx (01/23/2015) [-]
The top pair are more like antennae. She can locate voices and rad minds n **** .
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0
#15 to #9 - miia ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
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+13
User avatar #13 - sovietsamurai (01/23/2015) [-]
Incest

Lots and lots of incest
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+10
#36 - johrny (01/23/2015) [-]
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+6
#6 - hillbillypowpow (01/23/2015) [-]
Didn't god make other people after Adam and Eve. I'm pretty sure at some point some of their sons go to a village to find wives.
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+1
User avatar #41 to #6 - thenuglife (01/23/2015) [-]
No, those were monkeys. Didn't you pay attention. Tsk.
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+23
#1 - wolfwithglasses (01/22/2015) [-]
Off topic of the funny from the content. Just a thought here. c:


the way i see what happened with Adam and Eve when God said not to eat from the tree is this.

lets say God is a game creator or some kind of server admin,k? He has some trusted people that test the server or game and said "Hey guys,i'm not finished with the game yet,so please don't tell anyone." they agree not to say anything,but some dude ask if they know of any games that's good or a good server to play on. Eve blabs and says she thinks it's ready for the people.

God finds out and says "Guys. i gave you one simple request and you guys mess it up. *aggravated sigh* get out of here. I'll do it myself." So Eve and Adam get fired and god is left to keep adding updates to the game/server.

please don't hate,that's kinda the way i think about the Adam and Eve thing
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0
User avatar #12 to #1 - senorfrog (01/23/2015) [-]
I like your idea, but if I remember right the fruit was human flesh...not an apple. EIther that is right or I got confused with Constantine HellBlazer, but yeah, human fruit in fruit size. Or it was sex in which evolution hopefully was in place cause no hum ans coming with no sex
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0
User avatar #18 to #12 - choobe (01/23/2015) [-]
Did it get more specific than "fruit from the tree of Knowledge"?
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0
#57 to #1 - drakevil (01/23/2015) [-]
Makes sense.
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-2
#17 to #1 - dyslexicspiderman (01/23/2015) [-]
what's having autism like?
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0
User avatar #2 to #1 - didimighty [OP](01/22/2015) [-]
I see your point There were too many glitches in the original game and God was too embarrassed to admit Eve was more skilled at finding the mistakes.
Maybe that happened in a parallel universe if there is a God my sisters thinks that Naruto world, Bleach world, Death-note world existed in the past but every time someone screws up or a meteor fall on earths and the world just resets
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+4
#11 to #2 - plasticcup (01/23/2015) [-]
>too many glitches in game >eve more skill at finding the mistakes >"Eve blabs and says she thinks it's ready for peope." Sounds like an alpha release to me.
>too many glitches in game
>eve more skill at finding the mistakes
>"Eve blabs and says she thinks it's ready for peope."



Sounds like an alpha release to me.
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+1
User avatar #16 to #1 - jaevel ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
My one big problem with the story of Adam and Eve is the fact that god. An All-knowing being that supposedly knows everything about everyone, and has so from the beginning. Told Adam and Eve to not eat from the tree, when it is clear that he would know from the beginning that they would fail.

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+1
#81 to #16 - anon (01/23/2015) [-]
God knows what decision you will make, but still gives you the free will to pick the wrong choice. If he only put good choices in front of you to make, then it isn't really free will.

Kind of how American politics work, only with bad choices instead of good ones.
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+1
User avatar #42 to #16 - meganinja ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
Because you have to tell people what they can or can't do, that way it's their fault when they screw up.
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0
User avatar #56 to #16 - alltimetens (01/23/2015) [-]
I'm guessing that God knows every possible action/choice that you can ever make in your lifetime. However, God does not know which one of the virtually infinite amount of possible choices you will make.

So in reality, God technically did not "know" for sure.
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0
User avatar #80 to #56 - effort ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
That wouldn't make him all-knowing then.
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0
User avatar #100 to #80 - alltimetens (01/23/2015) [-]
He's all-knowing, just in a different way.
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0
#37 to #16 - anon (01/23/2015) [-]
That is a pretty bad problem to have. All that means is that God meant for them to do that. You could have problems with the earth only being 4000 some years old or that a sea split in two. But no. Your problem is that an all knowing God made a demand that he knew wouldn't be followed.
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0
User avatar #83 to #37 - Fgner (01/23/2015) [-]
Seeing as he then got furious with them, kicked them out of the garden so that they face disease and death and suffering and pain, then cursed their children to forever and ever and ever be damned as well... Yeah - that's a pretty big plot hole.

Plus, we can have problems with the smaller problems while still seeing the big ones. But we're pointing this one out because it's relevant.
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+1
User avatar #27 - dcmp (01/23/2015) [-]
I just want to pose a question
If god is all knowing, omnipotent master of the universe
Why does he given even half a **** about what humans do
It just doesn't make sense to me, a being of absolute power
"Don't eat that fruit kthx"
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0
User avatar #93 to #27 - manofbeardliness (01/23/2015) [-]
I grew up in the church (not the asshole kind) and followed Christian doctrine for a long time, but because of my family's more modern outlook on religion things make a lot more sense put behind the context of metaphors. On a personal level, I'd fit somewhere between Christian and Deist. I believe in god, just without the constant divine intervention that people go on about. For me, I've just always wrote it off that if god is omnipotent on a universal scale than we're just a spec on the grand scheme of things, and instead of micro-managing everything, that he she?it?etc? set natural laws of the universe into motion and let things grow from there. If god aligns with the Christian god, than I believe because of his all knowing power, he set the ideal life scenario for each individual, but instead of moving us around like puppets we have the free will to decide on our "fate".

Sorry about the choppiness, I'm not trying to give any more than a synopsis of my views.
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+1
User avatar #63 to #27 - IamSofaKingdom (01/23/2015) [-]
It is the premise of free will. God created Mankind and wants Mankind to love Him. If He does not give them the option to choose evil then they are forced to love and that isn't love. So the ability to choose evil must exist or they are basically robotic pets designed to unconditionally love without choice.
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0
User avatar #96 to #63 - dcmp (01/23/2015) [-]
what if I told you that good and evil dont objectively exist and free will is just an illusion?
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0
User avatar #101 to #96 - IamSofaKingdom (01/24/2015) [-]
Then you would just argue on the side of theologians?

It is a pretty common argument on the religious side of things that the existence of absolute right and wrong hinges on the existence of a higher power. If there is no higher power than "good" is purely dictated by society and is thus flexible.
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+9
User avatar #32 to #27 - leonhardt (01/23/2015) [-]
It was a test to see if we would be completely subservient.

Then the Devil was like "Dude **** him that's the best **** ever"
And Eve was like "Well gosh golly you do make a compelling argument"
And God was like "What the **** I gave you one rule."
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+4
User avatar #33 to #32 - leonhardt (01/23/2015) [-]
And so now we have Free Will.
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0
#94 to #33 - rpgfpsguy (01/23/2015) [-]
We would still have free will without evil. I like milk more than I like orange juice. If offered both I would take milk. That exhibits my free will and does not mean orange juice is evil.
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0
User avatar #99 to #94 - leonhardt (01/23/2015) [-]
Eating the fruit is what gave us the ability to make that choice.
Without it, you would only drink what you were told to drink.
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0
#102 to #99 - rpgfpsguy (01/30/2015) [-]
Eating the fruit is what was supposed to symbolize the choice between good and evil. Obviously Adam and Eve already had free will in order to be able to choose to eat the apple. Free will and evil do not inherently go hand in hand.
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User avatar #95 to #32 - dcmp (01/23/2015) [-]
but that doesnt make sense
why would god, a being that allegedly has the power to create the very universe
want a bunch of hairless apes worshiping him on this tiny planet in the boonies of a smaller than average galaxy? That would be like us wanting bacteria to worship us. I t just doesnt make sense to me
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User avatar #97 to #95 - leonhardt (01/23/2015) [-]
He's an egomaniac.
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User avatar #98 to #97 - dcmp (01/23/2015) [-]
I guess he would be
all i want to say is I dont believe in god, at least none of the ones humans have come up with. I feel like there could be one, it isn't necessary but I feel like there could be a god.
But if there was, it would be something we can't even imagine
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+4
#59 - taomoon (01/23/2015) [-]
Thedonghasexpanded.jpeg
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+3
#84 to #59 - reican (01/23/2015) [-]
fix'd
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+3
#85 to #84 - taomoon (01/23/2015) [-]
fix'd the fix'd version. let's see where this will go
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+3
#73 - delahk (01/23/2015) [-]
EVOLUTION!
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+3
User avatar #68 - cannibalvegan ONLINE (01/23/2015) [-]
I don't understand why a lot of people think that evolution is exclusive to non-religious people. Although I'm not religious there is no reason why evolution and God couldn't co-exist. He would still be the creator, but in a different way.

I don't know if it's an American thing or what, but in my country all the Christians I know believe in evolution.
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User avatar #91 to #68 - xalenes (01/23/2015) [-]
I thought about that and said almost the same thing. "What if god and evolution worked together?" Said it when i was 13 and my dad crazy gf went ******* on me
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#92 to #68 - rpgfpsguy (01/23/2015) [-]
There are definitely plenty of my fellow Americans who don't believe a word of the theory of evolution. But at least a good chunk of American Christians do.
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+3
User avatar #39 - kaipo (01/23/2015) [-]
The second Adam eats the apple, his censor bar rises
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0
User avatar #43 to #39 - didimighty [OP](01/23/2015) [-]
Finally someone notices. I've waited for this comment almost a day!
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+2
#61 - IamSofaKingdom (01/23/2015) [-]
One of the punishments for eating from the Tree of Knowledge was that child birth would become painful. That means that before that time Eve could birth children without pain. I am pretty sure sex wasn't some taboo thing restricted from the perfect man and woman. In fact, the Book of Solomon goes into pretty good detail on how you should enjoy your wife's body.
One of the punishments for eating from the Tree of Knowledge was that child birth would become painful. That means that before that time Eve could birth children without pain. I am pretty sure sex wasn't some taboo thing restricted from the perfect man and woman.

In fact, the Book of Solomon goes into pretty good detail on how you should enjoy your wife's body.
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0
#72 to #61 - newpulse (01/23/2015) [-]
Yeah but it's just a story you know.
Yeah but it's just a story you know.
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+2
User avatar #74 to #72 - IamSofaKingdom (01/23/2015) [-]
Everyone in the comments is arguing the points of the story. I don't see your point.

I don't run into forums where they talk about inconsistencies in Harry Potter and just tell people it is a story. That would be a waste of time and effort.
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User avatar #77 to #74 - newpulse (01/23/2015) [-]
I'm saying it's just a story because you are really taking the thing literally like speculating about a "certain time" before Eve ate the fruit where she could have children without the physical toll and in that time sex wasn't a taboo and everybody could bone for free. It's a myth, a story, created to teach some moral lessons or to represent the birth of conscience in humanity. Maybe you should go to some Harry Potter forums and tell them it's just a story.
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+1
User avatar #78 to #77 - IamSofaKingdom (01/23/2015) [-]
I am pointing out context clues to refute a concept presented in the content. You are bitterly engaging me for literally no reason and very defensive about it as well.
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+1
User avatar #45 - thebritishguy (01/23/2015) [-]
This is what crishtians akshually believe.
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+1
User avatar #46 to #45 - didimighty [OP](01/23/2015) [-]
Actually no, they believe only the creationist way which means we are the result of lots and lots on incest.
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+2
User avatar #47 to #46 - thebritishguy (01/23/2015) [-]
It was a joke
But not all Christians are creationists, Ken Miller is a Catholic and he defended evolution in court.
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+1
User avatar #49 to #47 - didimighty [OP](01/23/2015) [-]
I was not offended I am an atheist
In court? that's interesting
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User avatar #65 to #46 - IamSofaKingdom (01/23/2015) [-]
When Cain was cast out of the garden he was marked for his sin and told that anyone who saw him would know what he had done. That means there were others outside. There is also a part that talks about getting wives from nearby villages.

Technically speaking if Adam and Eve were to procreate in the Garden, they were perfect people, blessed to never age or die so in all likelihood those circumstances would remove the threat of birth defects from incest. I am not justifying it or affirming it, just pointing out that it is a completely different scenario than the one we live in.
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+2
#34 - theycallmesatan (01/23/2015) [-]
**theycallmesatan used "*roll picture*"**
**theycallmesatan rolled image** whom tryna send me nudes
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+1
User avatar #38 - alphagex (01/23/2015) [-]
Yeah but in the bible it doesn't go for evolutionist but creationist, it is a interesting theory that god used evolution to create the world, but most Christians believe he made more people by...the same way he did adam and eve
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User avatar #44 to #38 - didimighty [OP](01/23/2015) [-]
When I was little, I thought God created monkeys and let them evolve into humans so one day I asked my teacher and she said that a quote from the bible was something like "let there be human after the features of God".
Here is the quote: <So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.>
12>
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