gay bar tales: aeiou

evilanakie

Im unable to work lately because of the kidney ******* and this huge thing on my chin (pic in com shh)

reading newspaper relaxing to the uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss music
guy comes over and dumps his drink over the paper
" **** me"
rood

at summer party
dancing like a **** head
thumping about
see guy in a neon green mesh shirt
ok pretty hot
he comes over to me that night and asks to help me cut him out of it
between the sweat lines and the sun burn this poor twinky ****** looked like a rolled ham

neon haired ****** at a summer party
dancing with h-him? her i dont even know
piercings all over them
very goth-underpass-rave type of kid
next day
kid is crying that i sexually abused them
didnt do ****
claiming i ****** them
not on your life
everyone knows this tumblrena is lying
cops are called
i had already forgotten bout it
hanging with the bears month or two later
casually kissing and stuff
cops rock up
hear them go "what the **** "
grilled by cop for ******* this chick
the girl is claiming i came in her and got her prego
explain to cops how thats impossible
cops arrest me
grill me more
finally show them why i cant possibly be the reason why she is prego
even though i showed them my manly genits they still demand the blood test
im not the father
she admits i didnt touch her
gets away with it
****** what m8

going to gay camp with a few of my mates from the bar
people from all over vic come to the gay camp just to socialize
nothing but regular day time activities like boating fishing camp fire rope art ect
at night
strong tranz girlfriend goes and ***** off with one of the camp kids from the next cabin
tells me not to wait up for her
ok fine you want to slut about, two can play at that
going on a walk with one of the qt boys through the woods middle of night
just throwing flirts and awkward conversations at eachother
find my t girl crying complaining the rival camp kid beat her
bruises all up her arms
take her back to camp
she goes home
rival camp kid never found
turned out to not even be a camp kid
spend rest of camp going for walks with qt having some good times

few weeks ago
working like normal
******* limes
ahl puut me diik in the fookin lime
just the same old boring night
local band playing
alls good
look around the bar
notice something
its the qt from camp
talk to him for a bit
just kidding
we **** in a private room

200+ for more homo

im not whoring myself out but i do do art commissions and i kinda need some coin for rent
so yeah
um

+299

Views:	26637
Favorited:	13
Submitted:	11/01/2015

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+10

#20 - shadowrated (11/01/2015) [-]

I feel uncomfortable. You didn't type "no homo" at the end

+31

#21 to #20 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

i know

#71 to #21 - necromancerbobbeh (11/01/2015) [-]

+49

#4 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

spooky ingrown hair of many die

-1

#72 to #4 - anon (11/01/2015) [-]

That looks like the herps

#86 to #4 - amalone (11/02/2015) [-]

See a doctor immediately. You have cellulitis (staph). This almost killed my dad about a year ago when one showed up on his face and almost ate his brain. I'm 100% serious. Do not **** with that.

#61 to #4 - schnizel (11/01/2015) [-]

That's what you get for being a faggot.

#79 to #4 - barbwirepain (11/02/2015) [-]

get better nakie

#80 to #4 - boundangel (11/02/2015) [-]

From the look of it, that is full blown staff. You need to get everythinv out and get some heady antibiotics or it will pop up elsewhere. Going to the doctor or a free clinic would be a good idea. Or get a sterilized scalpel/syringe and gouge the bitch out.

#56 to #4 - bemmo (11/01/2015) [-]

Neat

#57 to #56 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

i squeezed the ******
its layered
so i filled it with clay to stop the cunt from losing shape and filling with more pus

+18

#60 to #57 - latadam ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

What the **** are you doing
Cotton buds?
Clay?
It's not a ******* face pocket, go to the doctor man. You could also go all the way and put a zipper on it.

#89 to #60 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

installed a button on it
now i store loose change in it
i went to a doc today
surgery booked in 5 days from now

#91 to #89 - latadam ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

Should've gone with the zipper.
Now everyone will call you Button Face Butt on Face. See the problem?
Good luck on the surgery, which by the way amazed me due to it being scheduled to such a short term. Did they deemed it as urgent?

#92 to #91 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

they say that i have to "really try to hold on"
aparently its hit my jawbone
and i have one in my neck now

#93 to #92 - latadam ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

...you telling me there's exposed bone down there?
No wonder they set it up on such short notice. I assume they prescribed you some antibiotics and signed you up for some courtesy healings, wouldn't want that stuff to spread any further.
Hang in there.
xoxo.

#94 to #93 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

they say "take these pills you are allergic to and clean the pus out regularly"

#5 to #4 - ragingcajun (11/01/2015) [-]

The ****

#7 to #5 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

all that black is hair
but its stuck under the skin
and if my ma taught me anything its not to pick at your scabs

#6 to #4 - redwrench (11/01/2015) [-]

Holy **** that looks like it hurts

#8 to #6 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

it does

#14 to #8 - hairybaboon (11/01/2015) [-]

take a pair of nail clippers and clip the skin above the black, it's going to have the least feeling. Pull the hair out. Try not to pick the scab. From now on, don't go for such a close shave

+10

#17 to #14 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

pulled the hair out
with it came a chunk of pus the size of a bouncy ball
now its leaking more pus
ive stuffed it with a detol soaked cotton bud and covered it
ill have to go to the docs

#18 to #17 - hairybaboon (11/01/2015) [-]

maybe, maybe not. Once the hair is out and it's clean, healing should start. gently press around the edges working to the middle to get the rest of the puss out. If there's no blood, that's good. cover it up, triple antibiotic, and wait for redness/swelling to go down.

also, spoiler post removal pics? Length of hair removed?

#19 to #18 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

Click to show spoiler

already on it
the toilet paper square with the pus blob
you can see the hair buried under it
ive already patched my face up and im not taking the cotton out

#65 to #19 - asadshoe (11/01/2015) [-]

why is it pink?

+13

#78 to #65 - dominomnom (11/02/2015) [-]

gay blood is pink duh!

#73 to #65 - derpwolf (11/01/2015) [-]

Blood, I would imagine.

#66 to #19 - hxhmaniac ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

holy **** that is disgusting

#81 to #19 - achastar (11/02/2015) [-]

#75 to #19 - sladee (11/02/2015) [-]

#76 to #17 - copyhat (11/02/2015) [-]

Click to show spoiler

Please visit the doctor.
I had an infection like that near the crotch that looked like that; a ball of pus inside the skin. The doctor tried to cut it out but didn't succeed so I was hospitalized to get an operation. The doctors there told me that I could die from blood poisoning if the pus enters my blood stream.

Pic is of the operation wound, it took a month to heal and I was forced to flush and dry it daily to keep it from caving into itself. I don't like open wounds and blood so it put me through a lot of nausea while caring for the wound.

#87 to #17 - amalone (11/02/2015) [-]

OP I know I commented once, but the best thing you can do is not stuff it, but to drain it completely. That is an ingrown hair that got a staph infection. I'm begging you to go see a doctor and get antibiotics. That **** will kill.

#90 to #87 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

got surgery booked in 5 days
doc says its a cyst
i had one really similar to the pic below by copyhat on my inner thigh in February
i was in hospital for a few days on drips

#15 to #14 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

i have to keep it skin tight
or i look like techno brown red white and gray ebola mess

#85 to #15 - privatepumpanickel (11/02/2015) [-]

listen to #76, man

don't let it poison you i'm really cautious with any abcesses in case of poison fluid

#16 to #15 - hairybaboon (11/01/2015) [-]

then be more preemptive with aiming hairs above your skin.

#23 - asthmetheus (11/01/2015) [-]

Wait wait, gentits?

#24 to #23 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

genits
genitalia

#25 to #24 - asthmetheus (11/01/2015) [-]

So I'm under the assumption youre a male, how could you not get her pregnant?

#28 to #25 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

im FTM
born with girly bits

#29 to #28 - asthmetheus (11/01/2015) [-]

Oh, now it makes more sense! I haven't seen every comp so I don't know if that was explained, **** those limes though right?

#22 - dirtyjustice (11/01/2015) [-]

Cops face when you show them why you can't get that bitch pregnant.

#62 to #22 - Einsty (11/01/2015) [-]

Played like a fiddle.

#1 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

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MENTION LIST

anonaponomous knarlyfish thenoahgoesree - horsefear spoonerisms - bemmo xbobchris obviousretard - zaxzwim hitlerwasokiguess ( letmethink kensislayer iwina ashadowguy mooncakes redbrutal sirtechnoviking oculusmortis iamthelaww classydancingrobot elseano lunathenightmare electrozz dafunkad megaflak (
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that one anon who wanted a mention fruhest noxxx homosexualpirate analogue mgsexplain fireheartt fireheartt electrozz

#9 to #1 - xbobchris (11/01/2015) [-]

thnx bby

#36 to #1 - mrshrapnel ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

Im subbed, no need to mention me mate.

#11 to #1 - derpwolf (11/01/2015) [-]

I subscribed, so you don't have to keep mentioning me.

#3 to #1 - loltrosity (11/01/2015) [-]

halloween homo, the best homo

#26 - ablakguy (11/01/2015) [-]

>gay camp
>literally just camp that just so happens to have homosexuals in it

Well I dont know what to believe anymore.

#27 to #26 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

its for gays only
and pretty much homos are just normal folks who **** eachother

#52 to #27 - taggen (11/01/2015) [-]

Straight ppl also **** eachother

#53 to #52 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

straight people dont exist
like child abuse and rape culture
its a myth

#54 to #53 - taggen (11/01/2015) [-]

Ah forgive me my ignorance.

#55 to #54 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

pfft next youll be saying lesbians are a thing
and"painless childbirth

#30 to #27 - ablakguy (11/01/2015) [-]

Like do you have to pay to get in?

#31 to #30 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

#33 to #31 - ablakguy (11/01/2015) [-]

Sounds cool. Archery, canoeing, and maybe some survival skills and all I have to do is take a rough rectal pounding from Thögær the Relentless guarding the sacred campground of the homosex. Or at least that is what I assume goes on.

#34 to #33 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

i like to think of a survey
with all these stereotype things on it
and at the end it just asks "are you gay y/n" and thats the only question that matters

#10 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

summer party pics

#37 to #10 - electronicbacon (11/01/2015) [-]

Dat BF3-level sun glare.
Don't modern cameras have ways of preventing or at least minimizing that?

#38 to #37 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

i have a ****** ZTE phone for 20$

#39 to #38 - electronicbacon (11/01/2015) [-]

Damn...
Ever thought about getting a newer one? Not necessarily one of these brand-new, hot, just-off-the-shelf ones but one from like one or two years ago? Shouldn't cost too much

#40 to #39 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

small town
its bootleg clicky phone
****** telstra phone
or iphone

#41 to #40 - electronicbacon (11/01/2015) [-]

Damn... I'd buy you something for you, myself, but I'm pretty broke as it is.

#42 to #41 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

i have to pay for a **** ton of medical ****
i have to survive off paypal donations with art for a while
cause
work wont let me back with a crater in my head

#43 to #42 - electronicbacon (11/01/2015) [-]

Just wear a good hat, friend

#44 to #43 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

its on my chin
"oh n s issues"

#12 to #10 - evilanakie [OP]ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

pink hair is muh rape bitch

#74 to #12 - sladee (11/02/2015) [-]

I dont think you had to point that out

#70 to #12 - anon (11/01/2015) [-]

It so would be her

#69 - foodyquest (11/01/2015) [-]

Post your art

#68 - daspopo (11/01/2015) [-]

>ahl puut me diik in the fookin lime
Read it like this guy:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XyH8MJARcM

#88 to #68 - puut (11/02/2015) [-]

Stop misspelling **** . **** .

#63 - anon (11/01/2015) [-]

What the **** are these stories even about?! The worst ******* plots I have ever seen in my life! No I'm not saying this because I'm homophobic.

#59 - anon (11/01/2015) [-]

one of the stories shows that false rape shouldn't be taken lightly...she wanted to destroy and abuse you. what a bitch

#83 - arena ONLINE (11/02/2015) [-]

bro.........................

#77 - dominomnom (11/02/2015) [-]

Jealous of you OP. Some times I wish I was gay just so I could have half as much sex as you.

-3

#67 - Sunset ONLINE (11/01/2015) [-]

the way you phrase your stories makes me think you're a schizophrenic or something

#64 - anon (11/01/2015) [-]

Tldr

#58 - thejudgingmoose (11/01/2015) [-]

>FTM
>Demands a blood test.

You ******* what?

Also the camp chick seems like a bitch if you were together. Otherwise...well kinda dumb to go off in the woods. I am rather paranoid though.