Funny Comedian Quotes. These are probably some the funniest comedians out there.. 23 Funny Quotes From comedians created by Steven Hummer bbttpl " Hew many peep funny comdians foxworthy
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Funny Comedian Quotes

These are probably some the funniest comedians out there.

23 Funny Quotes
From comedians
created by Steven Hummer bbttpl "
Hew many peeple here have
pewees? Raise my hand."
have never been
eaten s. Net even when
my dad " fifth
grade a year befire I
alii
rific. .. Emo Philips
Rtyw they shew yen haw detergents take em
bloodstains. a pretty violent image there. I
think if yeu' get a Toshiro with a bloodstain
all ever it, maybe laundry isn' t yew biggest
problem, Maybe we get rid of the
body beefore yen do the wash."
according tn
modern astronomers, space
is i' ' rofr-' This is a very
tlking ht .
particularly fer peeple whe
Jerry Seinfeld Den' t kneck can never remember where
mastu reation, it' s set: they have left thin gs.“
I' m net against half with sameone I leve.
halted girls - net as
aften as I' d like tn "emh
Woody Allen .
Benny Hill "l teld my psychiatrist
luff Wu Ever we me A girl that everyine hates me.
getting beaten by the phoned me He said I was being
ridiculous - everyone
the other day
Fame’ PM dawn the hasn' mmet me yet."
videa camera and and said.,.,
name my Itt Come en over,
there' s
nobody home, "l was
wwent ever. such an ugly
was kid - when I
it heme. played in the
Jri. . sandbox, the
Peeple say cat -Hem
New Tuckers severing me
can' t get alang. Rodney Dangerfield
Met true. ' saw
twp New
We had gay burglars the ether
night. They brake 17 and rearranged
the furniture.
I strangers,
sharing a cab.
r the guy teek am outift
guy tenet: the _ .
f in engine." atl. intuit
David Letterman J
Have yen ever noticed? Anybody geing
slower than yen is an Mint, and anyine
geing faster than yen is a maniac.
Robin Williams
Happiness is
F"? -1 having a large.
names, then yen ferget lavinge Ea IMI
E' 5- SST atl'. family
in PU" 5'“ , 'ilgili “P in anither city.
and yen ferget
tn pull it dawn.
George Carlin
fen have stay in shape. My we nomather,
she started walking ''. miles a day when
she was ED. She' s ET taday and we 'MN',
knew where the hell she "
George Burns
Wemen new have
ch dices. They can be
married, net married,
have a . net have a
Eilis be married with
children, unmarried
with children. Men
have the same che ice
we' always had:
we rte er prisen.
I ewe it all little
chacolate donuts.
Ellen Degeneres
l' d kill fer a Newt
FEW” Timm John Belushi
Everything is within walking
distance if yen have time."
it:''. l as study in the Tim Allen
it Washington
l. I. . Post says that
wemen have
better verbal
skills than men.
Ijust want to
Black peeple dominate
a' 17 the United States. 20%
m the population and we m the
few. we ewn this **** .
Basketball, baseball, feelball,
Say tty the gulf, tennis, and as seen as they
l went into a authors at that make a heated healthy rink we' ll
nold' s study: Duh." take that **** tee.
yesterday and said,
I' d like some fries."
The girl at the
tweeter said, "Would
you like some fries
with that?'"
Steven Wright
Chris Rock
Conan D' Brien
Jay Lene
...
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#1 - flemsdfer ONLINE (01/05/2014) [-]
I've ordered two large fries at a place before and got asked that. Told her yes and got three orders of fries.
I've ordered two large fries at a place before and got asked that. Told her yes and got three orders of fries.
#14 - kexminator (01/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
**** you my paint skills are awesome
#13 - tazze (01/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
that obviously isn't Ellen's joke, she didn't mention she's a lesbian   
 also am I the only one who doesn't find most of these jokes funny?
that obviously isn't Ellen's joke, she didn't mention she's a lesbian
also am I the only one who doesn't find most of these jokes funny?
User avatar #2 - dosburritos (01/05/2014) [+] (2 replies)
"Heated hockey"
It's called water polo
#16 - anonymous (01/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Sorry but this is kinda ******* sexist!!! Only one ******* woman and even worse, shes a LESBIANNN!!! More females pls cuz there are a few womens comedians sooo
#20 - kombee (01/05/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #4 - youngneil (01/05/2014) [+] (1 reply)
The quotations are done wrong in the Jay Leno one I think.
#22 - cleateater (01/10/2014) [-]
Here's a good one
#17 - anonymous (01/05/2014) [-]
"I owe it all to little chocolate donuts"
I have no idea why that's supposed to be funny
#7 - respectyourmom (01/05/2014) [-]
******* mitch hedberg is GOD when it comes to comedy
#5 - marinassen (01/05/2014) [+] (3 replies)
WHERE THE **** IS BILL HICKS?
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