Frostbite. . Anonymous ( Tue) Story tram a mend: we in guard tower we winter we well below freezing ssee young my kid meandering aimlessly bearwall aradia it in
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Anonymous ( Tue)
Story tram a mend:
we in guard tower
we winter
we well below freezing
ssee young my kid meandering aimlessly bearwall
aradia it in
we told he' s the local retard, and harmless
skid gees to frozen aver drainage ditch
sapenis 5 minutes punching holes in ice
aradia "_he' s playing in the water"
skid proceeds to play in water
shalt hour later kid is still playing in the water
aradia it in
sget told to scare him off before he gets frostbit
syill at him
skid throws chunk at ice, missing horribly, then goes hacket splashing in water
storay frozen gaterade bottle at him
skid tries to eat it
ishart pen hare near him
skid sees shiny burning hare stuck in the muck mi away
skid tries to pick up pen hare
skid goes up like tth awfuly
Nadia in "_well he isn' t gonna get __"
jpg tram tac
s" he tried to pick up a hare and "
Turns out the kids dad had been having him siphon the local IF’ trucks, and he was soaked in diesel.
Views: 26794
Favorited: 72
Submitted: 01/14/2014
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User avatar #39 - iNomNomNom (01/15/2014) [-]
Diesel evaporates at an extremely fast rate. I'm sure if someone were to be in sub-freezing temperatures, they would freeze over.
User avatar #43 to #39 - odytoboman (01/15/2014) [-]
Diesel has a relatively high freezing point, becoming unable to start an engine at approx. -10 degrees Celsius.
#38 - nonanonnon (01/15/2014) [-]
What, no pictures?
User avatar #35 - Crusader (01/15/2014) [-]
Why would the kid go up if he was covered in diesel?

Diesel doesn't go up like gas does.
#40 to #35 - hudge (01/15/2014) [-]
When it's evaporated on skin or clothing, the fumes are just as flammable.
#31 - kaslin (01/15/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #36 to #31 - slenderbro (01/15/2014) [-]
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of Elderberries!"
User avatar #33 to #31 - morskoj ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
Oh god, this need more thumbs
#30 - zafara (01/15/2014) [-]
For some reason I can't stop laughing at this.
#29 - traycepickering (01/15/2014) [-]
Diesel doesn't light up at all like that.
User avatar #32 to #29 - gmarrox ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
It does if it's been left on a surface long enough to start evaporating.
User avatar #50 to #32 - traycepickering (01/16/2014) [-]
Diesel shouldn't evaporate completely. Its in vapour form then yeah it'll go whoosh.
User avatar #34 to #32 - ronyx (01/15/2014) [-]
Below freezing doesn't help diesel, gasoline maybe, but diesel gels up.
#24 - mattdoggy (01/15/2014) [-]
this story is kind of messed up but if i have ever heard one phrase to express commands apathy this is it
this story is kind of messed up but if i have ever heard one phrase to express commands apathy this is it
#23 - ridivey (01/15/2014) [-]
this is kinda funny and kinda sad
#18 - Muppetz (01/15/2014) [-]
>Favorite Afghan stories

We shot a pen flare at a goat because it was in our vics way and we couldnt get around, were like oh this will scare it off, so we pop the flare and it shoots straight through the ******* goat and it lets out this pathetic little bleat and then dies and we're all just standing there like...Whoops.
#44 to #18 - kawaiidesudesuu (01/15/2014) [-]
>Favorite afghan story.
I was ontop of a gas station with the M82 overlooking our check point and we see a guy running down the road in a dead sprint, obviously a bomber. We call it in and before we even fire a shot he trips and eats **** hard We wait for a few minutes then fire off a few rounds, turns out when he tripped he smashed his skull in and thats how he died.
TL;DR Suicide bomber ate **** and died.
User avatar #46 to #44 - demented ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
I give him:
6 for dedication
3 for retardation
7 for preparation
And a 2 because he didn't stick the landing

overall score 18/40 (He tried)
User avatar #37 to #18 - ponyfcker (01/15/2014) [-]
lol, thanks for the story m8
User avatar #19 to #18 - anonemous (01/15/2014) [-]
jesus **** .....
#14 - vonspyder (01/15/2014) [-]
Pic semi-related.
Pic semi-related.
User avatar #12 - schwerdaddy ONLINE (01/14/2014) [-]
What if the kid was playing in the water to wash himself off?
#13 to #12 - morskoj ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
Because Diesel does not wash out with mere mortal efforts.
User avatar #21 to #13 - schwerdaddy ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
Yeah, but he's the local retard, you can't expect that much logic.
#11 - anonymous (01/14/2014) [-]
Oh wow, instead of haji i read it as Khajiit.

The story actually kind of made sense until the guard used his radio and pulled out a flare...
#9 - minionofdolan (01/14/2014) [-]
MFW my dad used to tell me as child that if I could put out a lit cigarette out in a gas can and it would explode and I should try it sometime......I dont think he liked me as much as he claimed.
User avatar #10 to #9 - minionofdolan (01/14/2014) [-]
Sorry that came out all wrong. My orginal comment was supposed to say my dad told me that I could drop a smoke into a gas can and it would ignite and I should try it sometime.
User avatar #16 to #10 - Durricane **User deleted account** (01/15/2014) [-]
It doesn't ignite. took a lot of balls and a spoonful of stupid to try but I did.
User avatar #17 to #16 - minionofdolan (01/15/2014) [-]
Mythbusters proved it will ignite under certain circumstances google it. Also brb gonna try something real quick.
#26 to #17 - fightforreason (01/15/2014) [-]
are you dead?
User avatar #25 to #17 - stanleys ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
Well he's still online, so at least his house didn't blow up
User avatar #27 to #25 - minionofdolan (01/15/2014) [-]
nope but dont know how Im gonna explain something to my gf lol
#47 to #27 - missions (01/15/2014) [-]
Pics dude, don't leave us hanging...
User avatar #45 to #27 - viperish (01/15/2014) [-]
User avatar #41 to #27 - symmiie ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
User avatar #48 to #41 - minionofdolan (01/15/2014) [-]
I dont have a camera at the moment but Ill be more then happy to tell the story hopefully that will satisfy till I can find a camera later today. GF is still visitng some friends so I still have time till the **** storm hits. Ok here goes so I found a gas can in my shed had some left figure whatever. Took it into the middle of the yard placed gently. Yes im sweating bullets at this point. Figure a cigar would be better then a ciggerette right? No....unscrew top lid brace for impact as I dropped the ****** in and ran like a little girl. Nothing happen at at this point im a little worried I dont wanna have the damn time bomb go off at random. Found a stick creeped up like a creeper. Insert pokepokepoke.jpg Well Ill ******* be.... ******* cigar was stuck in the nozzle part of gas can well it become un lodged. Now I have probably 4 foot by 4 foot spot of scourched earth in my backyard. Im sure my neighbors will ask why there a large fireball followed by screams of a little girl. Either way here is what im thinking when my GF gets back. Making a second comment. Look below before any replies.
#49 to #48 - minionofdolan (01/15/2014) [-]
>GF returns
>Act casual like nothings wrong
>Wait for her to discover it eventually
>When she does she is gonna be pissed
>I can see it now FJers
>"Why the **** is ground burnt out back! ?"
>Im my serious of poker faces
>Why? *stare her deep into her eyes*
>Then when she is gone yelling at me Ill probably just laugh
>Hey this is my one chance to use that line
Pic very related!!!!!!
#1 - badusernamedude (01/14/2014) [-]
Then the story is ******** , diesel will not burn unless under ideal circumstances (pressure, temperature). Gasoline will. Just so no one is scared when they get a little diesel on themselves
User avatar #20 to #1 - scoobi (01/15/2014) [-]
***** , diesel is some flammable ****
User avatar #7 to #1 - jonnyp (01/14/2014) [-]
actually if you get an article of diesel soaked clothing on fire, it will spread and stay lit, thats how kerosene torches work.
User avatar #8 to #7 - jonnyp (01/14/2014) [-]
if you want i'll do a test. my truck has been nothing but sitting, ill take some fuel out.
#6 to #1 - anonymous (01/14/2014) [-]
User avatar #2 to #1 - jcbiddulph (01/14/2014) [-]
Nope, Diesel will self ignite under pressure and temperature, but it still burns on its own
#3 to #2 - badusernamedude (01/14/2014) [-]
That's just not true, look up mythbusters or whatever, even they did a show about self igniting fuel. They proved that the scene from die hard 2 was ******** (where bruce willis ignites a trail of kerosine) so they tried it with diesel and other fuel as well. Turns out only gasoline will burn on its own. By the way, I already had an accident at my workhsop where one of my colleagues spilt diesel all over me while I was smoking, and I'm still here to tell the tale so...
User avatar #15 to #3 - mangostormlegend ONLINE (01/15/2014) [-]
If I remember correctly, a roadside flare set off the diesel
User avatar #4 to #3 - jcbiddulph (01/14/2014) [-]
cigarettes do not burn hot enough to ignite the fuel true. I have used diesel in the past to start bonfires
User avatar #5 to #4 - jcbiddulph (01/14/2014) [-]
Diesel Burn Test

It does take a little heat to get going, but if he were holding the flare he would ignite
#28 to #5 - stgfilitov (01/15/2014) [-]
Also a military grade flare will burn much hotter than your average cig. so it's quite possible.
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