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for all who don't know,

ENLISTED RAN KS EXPLAINED
pos. i. . eh. is. wiem. at Happy there' s Complains about
t' iti. ti,. tr?,, lrig. t. r Eberyone Privates, Sty he' s doing all the work,
t" roii, kerri. gcovir, not the lowest. and then tells PFC to do it
D-'_' T. rolling down hill.
iri. . ira.. sasr. : e is mad because ,,,' is happy They hate you.
and "ray pay still sucks. he' s not this guy. has not him. Stay off the grass.
...
+1520
Views: 49693
Favorited: 289
Submitted: 11/18/2015
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Reply
+2
#143 - rocketpropelledtit (11/19/2015) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by crixuz
From upper left: (Enlisted)
Private Second Grade, Private First Class, Specialist, Corporal, Sergeant, Staff Sergeant, Sergeant First Class, Master Sergeant, First Sergeant, Sergeant Major, Command Sergeant Major, Command Sergeant Major of the Army.
(Commissioned Officer)
1st Lieutenant, 2nd Lieutenant, Captain, Major, Lieutenant Colonel, Colonel, Brigadier General, Major General, Lieutenant General, General, General of the Army
(Warrant Officers)
Warrant Officer Grade 1, WO2, WO3, WO4, WO5/Chief Warrant Officer
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+514
#4 - anon (11/18/2015) [-]
It would be nice if OP take his time to actually label the badge with names.
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+35
User avatar #28 to #4 - PenguinsOfMars (11/19/2015) [-]
OP didn't make this
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+187
User avatar #81 to #28 - wraithguard (11/19/2015) [-]
OP didn't fix it either.
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+40
User avatar #99 to #28 - failtolawl (11/19/2015) [-]
I don't think you quite understand what an OP is.
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+46
#110 to #99 - PenguinsOfMars (11/19/2015) [-]
someone who originally posted it
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+38
User avatar #150 to #110 - symmiie ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
No... OP is an faggot.
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0
#201 to #150 - anon (11/19/2015) [-]
A faggot, not an faggot
Faggot.
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+12
#71 to #4 - anon (11/19/2015) [-]
The names of the ranks depend on the branch of service; same goes for the way the rank actually looks.
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+208
User avatar #5 to #4 - pennydragon (11/18/2015) [-]
Left to right, and then top to bottom enlisted ranks:
E-2 Private (doesn't know **** )
E-3 Private First Class (happy to not be lowest)
E-4 Specialist (complains about work, makes PFC do it)
E-4 Corporal (doesn't know where to sit)
E-5 Sergeant (works hard because not a private)
E-6 Staff Sergeant ( **** rolls down hill)
E-7 Sergeant First Class (16 years of service and pay sucks)
E-8 Master Sergeant (mad)
E-8 First Sergeant (happy)
E-9 Sergeant Major (hates you)
E-9 Command Sergeant Major (also hates you, stay off his lawn)
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+169
User avatar #6 to #5 - pennydragon (11/18/2015) [-]
Officer ranks, left to right, top to bottom:

O-1 Second Lieutenant (thinks he has authority but doesn't)
O-2 First Lieutenant (nobody knows the difference between first and second)
O-3 Captain (in charge and making it all up)
O-4 Major (thinks he's better and stays in office)
O-5 Lieutenant Colonel (first real rank of achievement for officer, good if he does PT)
O-6 Colonel (nobody questions him for not doing PT)
O-7 Brigadier General (gives lots of speeches)
O-8 to O-10 Major General, Lieutenant General and General (don't be a fool in front of one of these or your E-9 will chew you a new asshole)
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+155
User avatar #7 to #6 - pennydragon (11/18/2015) [-]
Warrant Officer ranks, left to right, top to bottom:

W-1 Warrant Officer
W-2 Chief Warrant Officer
W-3 Chief Warrant Officer
W-4 Chief Warrant Officer
W-5 Chief Warrant Officer

Note: Warrant officers are officers and take the same oath as commissioned officers, but they may be technical experts and highly skilled specialists, notably US Army helicopter pilots. The army seperates them into two types technical (like intelligence, maintenance, or MPs) or aviation.
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+17
#11 to #7 - insanefreak (11/18/2015) [-]
Ah, so that's why the Spartans in Halo are ranked as such. I never quite figured that out. Thanks mate!
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+14
#22 to #11 - anon (11/18/2015) [-]
i thought spartans were navy and had navy ranks
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+3
User avatar #103 to #22 - masdercheef ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
>>#14, >>#13, Spartan II and III were generally Navy, and held Navy rank, but Noble worked under Colonel Holland, UNSC Army. Not sure if the reason was ever explained for that, but it still happened. They are certainly the exception rather than the rule, however, due to their highly unusual nature.

As for Master Chief Petty Officer First Class, there's no such thing; not in the current US Navy (which seems to be the basis for the UNSC Navy rank structure) nor is there one in the Halo canon. Furthermore, it was confirmed by a member of 343 Industries that John-117 is in fact a Master Chief Petty Officer. Some may believe him to be Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy, due to the insignia taped by his service tag on the Voi memorial, but this is incorrect.
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+1
User avatar #125 to #103 - recoveryone (11/19/2015) [-]
So, you seem to be familiar with Halo terminology, do you think "Spartan" would have been considered a Rate in the UNSC?
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+3
User avatar #133 to #125 - masdercheef ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
Not until the creation of the Spartan branch of the UNSC, which occurred sometime in 2553. Prior to this, Spartan personnel were mostly under the jurisdiction of the UNSC Navy, and held appropriate rate - the aforementioned exception being Noble Team and their UNSC Army rank. They were therefore known by their rate / rank.

After the creation of the Spartan branch in 2553, however, all Spartan personnel were addressed simply as "Spartan", as all Spartans "are considered equal and lack formal ranks". This applies to former Spartan-II / Spartan-III personnel as well as newly recruited Spartan-IVs from the rest of the UNSC. Even "Commander" Sarah Palmer is technically equal in rank to her fellow Spartans. She still holds a position of command over them for administrative reasons but she is still just a "Spartan", same as the rest.



tl;dr, "Spartan" would have not been considered a rate within the UNSC until the creation of the separate Spartan branch in 2553.
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0
#188 to #133 - iderpedintofj (11/19/2015) [-]
So basically Spartans were really just Chief Warrant Officers, in context of OP?
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0
User avatar #223 to #188 - masdercheef ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
I believe the majority of the Spartan-II were Petty Officer Second Class, with a few Chief Petty Officer, Master Chief Petty Officer, and one Lieutenant Junior Grade. Spartan-III appeared to be mostly Petty Officer Third Class, with a few exceptions as well.

The pay grade of Chief Warrant Officer is actually higher than PO2 or PO3, as they are E-5 and E-6, respectively; Warrant Officer pay grades are higher than Enlisted but lower than Officer.

Therefore, in the context of the post above, most Spartans were Enlisted, with a few Warrant Officers and a few Officers.
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0
User avatar #224 to #223 - masdercheef ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
Whoops! Meant to say PO2 is E-5 and PO3 is E-4. I accidentally my numbers today.

For comparison, PO3 is equal pay grade to a Corporal in the Marine Corps, whereas PO2 is the equivalent pay grade of a Sergeant.
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+5
User avatar #13 to #11 - enemyoftrn (11/18/2015) [-]
Spartan 4 or spartan 2? Spartan 2 were part of navy, the naval intelligence.
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+6
#14 to #13 - insanefreak (11/18/2015) [-]
Spartan II's. In the books they're referred to as 'Petty officers First Class'. I mixed up with Warrant Officer Polaski (Pelican Pilot, survivor of the Pillar of Autumn and Halo, died patching up the captured Covenant ship in the distorted slipspace. Book: FIrst Strike)
I think it's where John-117 got his name from, Master Chief Petty Officer FIrst Class.
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+9
User avatar #15 to #14 - captchakid ONLINE (11/18/2015) [-]
Master Chief Petty Officer First Class is a real rank btw.
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+3
User avatar #17 to #15 - mountainyard (11/18/2015) [-]
John-117 is actually not the highest ranked spartan. Kurt Ambrose (Kurt-051) is.
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+4
User avatar #26 to #17 - tonicwater ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
Even Fred technically outranks him if i know my lore right.
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+4
#66 to #26 - jubilantpuncture (11/19/2015) [-]
Yeah, Fred got booted up to lieutenant but I can't remember why.
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+4
User avatar #89 to #66 - romanprinsonerr (11/19/2015) [-]
Kurt bumped him up before he died
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0
#209 to #89 - jubilantpuncture (11/19/2015) [-]
Annnnd now I'm sad, Ghosts of Onyx was a good book
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0
User avatar #210 to #209 - mountainyard (11/19/2015) [-]
It was awesome!
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+2
User avatar #140 to #17 - phillycheeseblunt (11/19/2015) [-]
051 was a Lt. Cmdr (O4). Commander Palmer is an O5.

Ranks don't really matter for Spartans anyways. It's all positional authority, like masdercheef said.

But Master Chief is the MCPON (top enlisted leader in the entire Navy) so that kind of holds a **** ton of weight.
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0
User avatar #230 to #140 - masdercheef ONLINE (11/26/2015) [-]
Just gonna interject that technically speaking Palmer is not a Commander. Her official rank / title is Spartan Palmer. She is referred to as "Commander Palmer" due to her position of authority over the rest of the Spartans but she holds the same pay grade as all the rest.
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0
User avatar #196 to #140 - goddamnwizard (11/19/2015) [-]
Kinda like how a First Bootenant technically outranks a SgtMaj, but if he tries to actually tell a Sgtmaj what to do, he'll be murdered.
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+1
User avatar #112 to #15 - amishparadise ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
>Master Chief
>Petty Officer 1st Class
Pick one
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+2
User avatar #36 to #14 - hellbentcrusade (11/19/2015) [-]
First class? Once you're a chief, class isn't a thing.
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0
User avatar #109 to #11 - amishparadise ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
You're thinking of the Navy rank Master Chief, Navy equivalent to a Sergeant Major
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0
#187 to #7 - iderpedintofj (11/19/2015) [-]
I loved WO's. They're literally the best way to go in the Army.

What I do love about OP's pics is that none of them are wrong at all. Most are actually pretty spot-on.
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0
User avatar #165 to #7 - elcreepo (11/19/2015) [-]
You could glance for two seconds at an O-8 and your CSM will bitch, according to the content.
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0
#43 to #6 - chokebee (11/19/2015) [-]
What about 5-star and 6-star generals?
Those appeared in the history too.
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0
User avatar #50 to #43 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
Very few, and only appointed during times of war.

6 star i have never heard of.
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+1
#96 to #50 - godofhorizons (11/19/2015) [-]
6 star is a unique rank. One man and one man only has been granted the rank of 6 star general and that is George Washington. they made up the rank so that no one would ever outrank him
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0
User avatar #97 to #96 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
I actually knew that I just forgot.
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+2
User avatar #130 to #121 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
Normally I am retarded, but they actually taught us that back in basic, I just forgot.
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0
User avatar #166 to #97 - elcreepo (11/19/2015) [-]
Hey look, an E-2 that conforms to the stereotype.
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+1
User avatar #174 to #5 - hoponthefeelstrain (11/19/2015) [-]
my mom is a first sergeant and what they say about the next top 2 people is very true, she hates her bosses.
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+1
User avatar #12 to #5 - enemyoftrn (11/18/2015) [-]
Thx man.
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+62
#73 - dingdongpancakes (11/19/2015) [-]
Make yourself at home for you're here forever.
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+3
#75 to #73 - anon (11/19/2015) [-]
LOL!
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+10
User avatar #117 to #73 - binbunny (11/19/2015) [-]
I'm afraid it's terminal
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+36
#37 - zombifier (11/19/2015) [-]
related
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+41
#33 - agreatusername (11/19/2015) [-]
As an enlisted American Soldier.....
Yep....
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+2
User avatar #42 to #33 - sirkanesixtytwo (11/19/2015) [-]
Are you Canadian or mexican?
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+3
User avatar #41 to #33 - sirkanesixtytwo (11/19/2015) [-]
Marines, army, navy or airforce?
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+44
User avatar #44 to #41 - agreatusername (11/19/2015) [-]
Okay, first of all.
Marines are Marines.
Navy are sailors.
Airforce are faggots.
Army is soldiers.
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+2
User avatar #115 to #44 - dagreatmax (11/19/2015) [-]
Lol here in Canada the chair force doesn't even get **** on so much unlike the navy that. Heck nobody even acknowledges the Chair force, but talk **** about the navy.
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+3
User avatar #95 to #44 - jakotad (11/19/2015) [-]
You call us faggots, but when y'all can't complete the mission, you call us in to save the day...or end it.
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+3
#106 to #95 - strooz (11/19/2015) [-]
Pretty sure that's what my MOS is for.
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+2
User avatar #98 to #95 - agreatusername (11/19/2015) [-]
I just dont like your branches ******* attitude.
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+6
User avatar #105 to #98 - alabamacoffeebean (11/19/2015) [-]
looks to me like you're the one with the ******* attitude.

Also, I'm becoming crippled, so I cant into military
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+4
User avatar #158 to #105 - kandazz (11/19/2015) [-]
BRANCH FIGHT!!!
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+2
#173 to #98 - StickyTissueLoLz (11/19/2015) [-]
You're both part of the most powerful military force in the history of man, and both of your branches are equally responsible for holding that sort of power. So what's the ******* point in arguing with each other like little girls?

Just shut the **** up and get along you idiots. Mediocre infighting between branches like this makes no goddamn sense.
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+1
User avatar #189 to #173 - crazyeyedbioll (11/19/2015) [-]
The branches **** on each other kinda like brotherly tough love. In the end we all have respect for one another.
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User avatar #202 to #173 - agreatusername (11/19/2015) [-]
What the guy below me said.
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+1
User avatar #101 to #98 - jakotad (11/19/2015) [-]
Honestly, I don't either, but I was in the CE civil engineering squadron so we were more laid back.
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0
User avatar #102 to #98 - jakotad (11/19/2015) [-]
Also what branches were you?
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+1
User avatar #63 to #44 - sirkanesixtytwo (11/19/2015) [-]
I think you mean
Army is sitting on my hands and make farting noises with my mouth
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+3
#139 to #33 - nitsuan (11/19/2015) [-]
I'm just glad their are I'm just glad their are other privates so i'm not the lowest other privates so i'm not the lowest . I was the lowest ranking in my platoon for far too long
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0
User avatar #141 to #139 - agreatusername (11/19/2015) [-]
Weve all been there.
Took me a year and a half to make E-4 with no negative inhibitors
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+115
#25 - larrallina (11/19/2015) [-]
Well, this is awkward
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0
User avatar #148 to #25 - playerpants (11/19/2015) [-]
Is that a game?
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0
User avatar #198 to #148 - kurbeh (11/19/2015) [-]
It's RWBY, webseries on the Rooster Teeth Youtube Channel.
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+1
User avatar #30 to #25 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
How do you get those?
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0
User avatar #31 to #30 - larrallina (11/19/2015) [-]
You get it when you become a mod.
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+25
User avatar #68 to #31 - warzon (11/19/2015) [-]
So you rank up by killing other mods of similar rank to increase your own power?
Or suck them off?
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+2
User avatar #83 to #68 - brcstar (11/19/2015) [-]
High rank = You do lot of stuff

Low rank = You're new or don't do much stuff
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0
User avatar #84 to #83 - warzon (11/19/2015) [-]
Yes but I was referring to ranking up.
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+2
User avatar #85 to #84 - brcstar (11/19/2015) [-]
If you are active and do a lot of stuff, then you'll get promoted whenever posttwo does promotions.
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+8
#87 to #85 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
I should totally use my new graphs to promote people :^ )
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+2
User avatar #100 to #87 - alexithymic (11/19/2015) [-]
What happened in september?
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+1
#137 to #100 - adrenalinegiraffe ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
Love was changing their minds.
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0
User avatar #90 to #87 - warzon (11/19/2015) [-]
Neato. Graph those fatalitys/orgasms/promotions?
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0
User avatar #86 to #85 - warzon (11/19/2015) [-]
Neato.
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+1
User avatar #69 to #68 - larrallina (11/19/2015) [-]
......Maybe...

Pleinair would be the one to ask about that
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+1
#72 to #69 - warzon (11/19/2015) [-]
Welp, off to go be the civilian that walked onto the base, probably get thumbed to hell and back, and come out with happy times.
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0
User avatar #203 to #72 - irishjohnny (11/19/2015) [-]
Have fun.
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0
User avatar #164 to #31 - nITE (11/19/2015) [-]
I'm really active on FunnyJunk, is there a way to become a mod?
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0
#171 to #164 - ugoboom ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
>really active
Content Ranking: #2748
Comment Ranking: #5727

but to answer your question, there was a "do you want to be a mod" post about a month ago.
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+1
User avatar #172 to #171 - nITE (11/19/2015) [-]
Well aren't you nice. Mr. 2011. But anyway, i'll check my PMs or something. Maybe look at Admin profile. Thanks for the help, I guess.
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+9
#34 to #25 - yugiohkris ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
I'm not sitting with you, faggot.
I'm not sitting with you, faggot.
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+9
User avatar #49 to #34 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
NERD
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+6
#38 to #34 - larrallina (11/19/2015) [-]
Then can you sit on me?
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+3
User avatar #51 to #38 - yugiohkris ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
Only if I can wear the dress. /nsfw/suddLfh/Rwby+comp/14#14
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+6
#61 to #51 - larrallina (11/19/2015) [-]
only 4 u bby
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+12
User avatar #40 to #25 - brcstar (11/19/2015) [-]
Better stay off my lawn, private.
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+6
User avatar #48 to #40 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
STOP STARING AT HER TITS
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+1
User avatar #149 to #48 - lametitan ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
Zzzzz
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0
User avatar #67 to #48 - warzon (11/19/2015) [-]
I SHALL NEVER NOT STARE AT LARRALLINA'S TITS.
NEVVVERRRR
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+13
User avatar #47 to #25 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
GET THE **** BACK TO WORK
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User avatar #52 to #47 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
You are supposed to give speeches, 5 stars do not yell. That would be like brcstar's job.
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+6
User avatar #53 to #52 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
IM NOT YELLING THATS POSTINGLOUDLIES JOB
I JUST WANT ATTENTION
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User avatar #54 to #53 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
He wouldnt yell either.
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+3
User avatar #55 to #54 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
HE YELLS FOR THE ATTENTION
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0
User avatar #56 to #55 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
So what you are saying, General posttwo, is that I dont have to be afraid if you are shouting?
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User avatar #58 to #56 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
EXACTLY. BE AFRAID WHEN IM SPEAKING IN A CALM MANNER
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+1
User avatar #59 to #58 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
Oh man that sounds chills down my spine. If a high ranking officer is talking to you quietly, THATS how you know you ****** up.
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+1
User avatar #138 to #59 - wobblewub (11/19/2015) [-]
this is the absolute stupidest thing I've seen happen on FJ

I love it
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+3
User avatar #70 to #52 - brcstar (11/19/2015) [-]
DON'T MENTION ME PRIVATE
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User avatar #76 to #70 - majormoron (11/19/2015) [-]
*stands at attention*

YES SIR
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+2
User avatar #159 to #118 - kandazz (11/19/2015) [-]
'Splain please.
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+10
#163 to #159 - Minnesota (11/19/2015) [-]
The rank up top is Specialist, the highest ranking junior enlisted rank. It's a lot like a private, but with more experience in the army. The bottom is Sergeant, a lower end Non-commissioned officer, which follows after specialist or corporal (depending on the unit and MOS). What normally happens is that when a person gets promoted to sergeant, they act like more of an asshole. Specialists are seen as somewhat having attributes of human beings, like emotions and a soul. Sergeants tend to lose their humanity in order to achieve their rank because focusing less on empathy and understanding in place for making things happen to get results is a common trait when acquiring a position of leadership. So, when it comes time to get out of the army, you either stay human and get out as a specialist, or stay in the army, get promoted to sergeant, and become a villain.
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+6
User avatar #46 - posttwo (11/19/2015) [-]
what am I :o
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+15
User avatar #77 to #46 - arrozconleche (11/19/2015) [-]
Your symbol is the "General of the Army" It is the second highest honor that can be given to someone in the United States Army. The rank is equivalent to a "Fleet Admiral" and the "General of the Air Force" It's only given to those that served incredibly during war times, and there are only six people that have received this honor. Those people are:

Phillip Sheridan (1888)
George Marshall (1944)
Douglas McArthur (1944)
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1944)
Henry H. Arnold (1944)
Omar Bradley (1950)

The only rank higher than the five stars is "General of the Armies of the United States" which is represented by either 6 stars. (the regular 5 stars in the star pattern with the 6th star in the middle) or 5 gold stars (requested by John J. Pershing) Pershing is the only person that has ever received this award
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User avatar #168 to #77 - rakogoki (11/19/2015) [-]
so how many unusuals does pershing have?
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User avatar #227 to #168 - arrozconleche (11/20/2015) [-]
no idea, I did a very brief run-through while doing an assignment on Eisenhower. Wikipedia showed nothing of any other unusuals
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User avatar #57 to #46 - vgmddg (11/19/2015) [-]
A faggot.
jk.
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+19
#136 to #46 - mvtjets (11/19/2015) [-]
Comment Picture
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+11
User avatar #1 - dikslapping (11/18/2015) [-]
I would of put the W-5 in his own bracket. God mode, generals move out of their way.
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User avatar #3 to #1 - pristinepanda (11/18/2015) [-]
Just a friendly reminder: "would have / Would've"
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#18 - tagme (11/18/2015) [-]
Okay, from what I understand, all officers outrank all enlists, right? So what are warrant officers? Why are they different from commisioned officers? How does someone become one? Where do they fall in the "Who outranks who" chart? Is there a name for this? Am I horribly mistaken? I don't know anything about the military. Sorry.
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#19 to #18 - anon (11/18/2015) [-]
Warrant officers come from the enlisted ranks. They don't have a college degree. They have to be E-5 at least before they can apply. If the are accepted they go to officer school. They rank higher than all the enlisted but lower than O-1. So a 35-year old WO-5 is outranked by a 22 year old lieutenant. Nobody follows that though. Even E-7 platoon sergeants are like "yeah, you're in charge. okay kid."
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+2
User avatar #107 to #19 - DonPatchy (11/19/2015) [-]
Just wanted to add, the E-5 thing doesn't apply if you wanna be an aviation warrant. You can apply and get accepted as an E-1, even though its incredibly unlikely.
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User avatar #20 to #19 - glassskulljack (11/18/2015) [-]
Damn only E5 for Army? Gotta be atleast an E6 going E7 to even be looked at in the Navy.
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#21 to #20 - anon (11/18/2015) [-]
I only know about the Marines but it's pretty close. I'm not talking about who get's it. I'm saying E5 is the minimum to apply.
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User avatar #39 to #21 - zombifier (11/19/2015) [-]
i actually worked with the elusive cwo5
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+7
#114 - swedishassassin (11/19/2015) [-]
Air Force Ranks Explained, in Maintenance:
E-1: Terrified puppy
E-2: Found nerves but clueless
E-3: Designated FOD finder
E-4: Overworked and thrown everywhere
E-5: Have fun doing all the meetings your Shop Chief doesn't want to do
E-6: Sitting around wishing you were an E-7 (MSgt)
E-7: Wish you were still an E-6 (TSgt)
E-8: No one ***** with you
E-9: No one wants to ******* hear you

O-1: Terrified puppy you call 'sir' (My rank)
O-2: Able to trick into making you look less bad in morning meetings
O-3: "Capt"
O-4: Even when you're awarding us, we're nervous around you
O-5: "Neat! A Lt Col.... what does he do again?...."
O-6: All Maintenance stops when you enter the shop
O-7: Do you even do anything as a Brig Gen for Mx?
O-8 - O -10: Pilots only. No Mx Allowed.
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#65 - uberbunk (11/19/2015) [-]
**uberbunk used "*roll picture*"**
**uberbunk rolled image**

Maybe I should enlist.

Or become a sailor.

College Apps are stressing me the **** out, is all.
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#169 to #65 - navyftw (11/19/2015) [-]
If you do decide to go navy, go aviation, if you get stationed at a squadron instead of a ship, you will enjoy your life a whole hell lot more.
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#78 to #65 - turbanmasher (11/19/2015) [-]
Lol you could be part of the Sea Men.
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#179 - tevenz (11/19/2015) [-]
GIF
faget scrubs aren't even prestige.
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#10 - anon (11/18/2015) [-]
W-1 Traitor
W-2 Sack of ****
W-3 Almost Respectable
W-4 Respectable
W-5 Stay the **** away from
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#176 - catburglarpenis (11/19/2015) [-]
10 years in the military now. Roughly 8 of those on the Enlisted side, and being pushed through ROTC training ATM.

I always explain it with McDonald's.

You've got the fry cook, drive through guy, guy behind the counter, night shift manager, day shift manager, second key, first key, assistant manager and manager, right?

Well that's E-1 through E-9. Half of those were lateral promotions with virtually indistinguishable pay raises and you don't see any real cash until the managerial level. Once you get to the managerial level, that's all you ever do. You can be a manager at McDonald's, then Walmart, then Glik's, then Boeing, all with the same culinary degree. Because after a while, no one cares what your job training is and you are needed at the managerial level.

There's this mysterious person that shows up every now and then called a "District Manager", right? Well that's an 0-1. There's also a regional manager, manager of the state, multiregional manager and all the chairs and board members, XO, CO, etc.

Those are all officers. They also all have direct assistants. You also can't apply for these positions and can't be promoted into the ranks post WWII. The manager never becomes the district manager. These positions are within "The Hidden Job Market" (top 90% of high earning positions, 7+ figures/year), thus exemplifying their power. If no member of your family is in these positions, then the most powerful thing you can do is 4 years of ROTC or some other military officer training. Even if you fail to make it all the way through, you might have caught the attention of someone in the hidden job market, and your whole family will never be the same.

The officer jobs are also very non-specific. Once you get to about O-2 or O-3 onwards you get the same manager experience as before, basically no one gives a **** about your initial job training anymore, you're here to run companies.

The Army has it dumbed down McDonald's style. E-1 through E-3 are "Joes" and have no responsibilities other than showing up. They're "Joes" (G.I. Joes) and they can barely avoid drowning in the rain, which is why those ranks are "free" (can be ranked up before entering military with Eagle Scout, relevant job experience, JROTC, ROTC, college degrees, etc.) because all ranking factors are related to self-sufficiency, not job tasks.

E-4 is "Team leader", in charge of 2-5 "Joes", including him/herself. E-6 or E-7 is "Squad Leader", in charge of 2 team leaders and him/herself (only has to talk to two people). E-7 or E-8 is "First Sergeant" in charge of 4 Squad Leaders (only talks to 4 subordinates). E-9 is "Senior Enlisted Leader", advising some high ranking officer on the goings-abouts of plebs. Altogether this is roughly 40-50 people and comprises a "platoon".

0-1 is Platoon Leader, in charge of 1 "First Sergeant" (basically). 0-2 assists 0-3. 0-3 is in charge of 4 "Platoons" and thus speaks with 4 "Platoon Leaders", but is only in charge of one 0-2 who actually gets those Platoons to move. This makes the O-3 a "Battalion Commander", which consists of 4 Platoons, or 120 people. O-4 assists O-5, O-5 is in charge of 4 Brigades, or 480 people. Only speaks to one O-4, O-4 gets four O-3's to do stuff. O-5 is "Brigade Commander". O-6 assists O-7, same **** here, copy and paste, is "Brigade Commander" for 4 Battalions. O-8 assists O-9, copy and paste, is "Regimental Commander", commands 4 Brigades. 0-10 assists O-11 (if there is one, not since WWII) or non-ranked Pentagon official. O-11 or equivalent is "Army commander", because commands 4 regiments. Most senior O-11 equivalent commands one "Theater" or 4 Armies. This is why it's called the "War Theater" or the "Theater in Iraq", etc. President directs all operations under heavy advisement and veto power by committee.

So yeah. Don't be scared of making the big bucks, because if they do it right, you'll only ever be in charge of around 5 people. Also Hidden Job Market is Illuminati, so join.
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#178 to #176 - catburglarpenis (11/19/2015) [-]
Oh yeah, and degrees:

Associate's: You work at McDonald's still, and make similar wages. However, if you're smart, you work at their corporate office instead of their restaurant. Same ranks, same duties, but less danger of angry customers and you get to sit down. You might even get benefits. Maybe.

This is not everyone's experience, but this is not offered to non-Associate's holders.

Bachelor's: You work at McDonald's, but only nebulously at their corporate offices. With specific job training or Illuminati contacts, you begin officer-type journey. Hard to get, but not offered to non-Bachelor's.

Master's: Semi-Specific possibly big bucks work is unlocked. X-ray techs at hospitals which are otherwise useless (not a medic, not a nurse, not yet a doctor, maybe not even first responder trained, but paid better than all except the doctor), Data Researchers, Split Testers, directors of Marketing and Research, number crunchers, etc. Also you'll never deal with a customer again.

Doctorate: Doctor. Big munny, can't go wrong, doesn't afraid of anything, will never be unemployed ever again. Do anything you can to get this far. Any degree- it doesn't matter. Suck dicks for cash. Strip. Sell drugs. Become a hitman. Move to where college is free or you get paid to go there (Denmark). Or join the military like I did. You will never be unemployed ever again and job satisfaction is through the roof. Don't study what is profitable, study what you're passionate about. The worst thing your Underwater Basketweaving Doctorate will get you is a job as an Underwater Basketweaving professor. It counts as federal service, your loans will be forgiven, and you'll almost break 6 figures to start. If you're passionite about the topic, you will also love it because of that reason. Smooth sailing from here.

Doctorate+ (yes it exists): TED Talks. Bill Nye. Campaigns. Marketing Board Chairs. Research. Explosions. Hollywood. Being able to fly by flapping your arms really hard. Agent Smith. Neo. Being given the keys to The Matrix. The Red Pill. You will grow a second, and possibly even a third dick. 6 figures to start, infinite earning potential. Money is now a concept and not a resource. Can walk on water, see through walls, etc.
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User avatar #190 to #178 - catburglarpenis (11/19/2015) [-]
Degrees are also proportional to specified effort, leading them to be largely dependent on what you do with them vs what you're ultimately trying to do i.e. goal setting.

For example: "I'm trying to get rich!"

No you're not. You might be, but that's not what you care about. You care about what you can buy with money, not the money itself. You might want a mansion and a Ferrari because everyone does, but you want it for the ladies, or for respect, or just because that's "secure" and you'll never have to work again. It's much easier to gain THOSE things you ACTUALLY want by taking a Pick-Up Artist class or reading one of their books, joining the Marines even as a Reservist, and reading 4 Hour Workweek respectively. What you are ACTUALLY after are EMOTIONS associated with such "success" states (as opposed to fail states), so you can simply go for happiness directly with such means as Buddhist practice again far easier, but this has now gotten too meta as an aside.

So you get a "good" ultimate goal, like "I want equality across the board in my country", "I want to end child soldiers/slavery/sweat shops" or "I want to feed the hungry/clothe the homeless/ **** bitches/get money/be MLG".

So we take the child soldiers goal and expand.

Unskilled/Unpaid labor towards this: Donations to causes, talking about it for anyone who listens, posting in your Tumblr, blah.

Skilled/Unpaid: Making YouTube videos about it. Good ones that get views.

Unskilled/Paid: Work for Virgin, who's off branch of an off-branch wants to end wars (look it up, too lazy right now, part of their "Virgin Galactic", Virgin Oceanic" etc. bundle of nonprofits)

Skilled/Paid: Work for military to actually do ****

Associate's: Handle incoming calls for some off branch of Invisible Children

Bachelor's: Handle Accounting for Invisible Children

Master's: Handle ALL Accounting for Invisible Children (now Finance Major, is where it starts to split off)

Doctorate: Begin working with head of said charity, start rethinking cash flow entirely. Give TED Talks.

Doctorate+: Change the way cash flow operates and what it even means. Make your charity not use cash at all. Make it a ward of the state so that it no longer has outflow of cash. Hire more unpaid interns. Nullify legal exempt status of whole states that house child soldiers to make them subject to U.N. law and military invasion. Shoot lasers from your eyes. Unlock fast travel and horse armor.

Basically, the flow goes: I will TALK about a thing, I will DO a thing, I will DO a thing well, I will get PAID to do a thing, I will DO a thing with OTHERS doing a thing, I will DO a USEFUL thing with OTHERS doing a thing, I will DO a USEFUL thing with OTHERS doing a USEFUL thing, I will TAKE CHARGE of people DOING things and finally I will CHANGE the thing we DO.

The person complains. The others complain well. More get paid to help, but some actual DO help. The soldier helps by killing the dictator's soldiers, but his boss leads the tells the soldiers what to do and where to go (imagine playing the first Battlefield Bad Company game with no narrator or voiceover, now you realize how important that was for game progression. You're the voice.)

The Soldier's boss is the Officer, and he directs the battle. Try sending your Starcraft troops in the general direction of the enemy base and see how they fare. That's how important the boss is. You're the boss.

His boss supplies the soldiers, trains them, negotiates for where the combat even takes place if at all. Then the boss has a boss, who makes the agreements that cause the peace. This new person drafts those documents which end wars. With enough advisement, they might even succeed.

Their boss however- Their boss changes what war even is. Their boss made the iron ship, ending the war on the water by making all other ships obsolete. They made the submarine that worked and did the same. They made the sonar to counter the submarine. They made the Enigma Machine. Cont.
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#191 to #190 - catburglarpenis (11/19/2015) [-]
They made the cipher. They made the atomic bomb. They made globalization and ended wars between countries. They made Metal Gear.

That's the Doctorate+ level. The further you get up, the less it is about "doing a thing" and the more it is about "doing whatever will help". The fry cook cooks the fries, but the manager will help if needed. So will the district manager if he/she's there and you need the help. The district manager will also train the cooks to do it better, or move the fryer closer to the customer, or whatever helps. His/her boss will hire better trainers and district managers, but HIS/HER boss will change the whole store to streamify frying in general as a task.

That person has a boss too, and that person's boss will begin to question if frying is even a needed process. why not order it pre-fried and warm it up? That person begins split-testing to see if they taste the same either way. They run a research lab. They find participants. They hire food tasters. Etc.

That's a far cry from "I fry fries".
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User avatar #129 - aviatrix (11/19/2015) [-]
Unless you go enlisted and earn your commission, there is no winning as an officer in the eyes of the enlisted.
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User avatar #151 to #129 - sketchE ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
not entirely. i earned a lot of respect from my guys for being willing to get down and work with them
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User avatar #153 to #151 - aviatrix (11/19/2015) [-]
Coming from an officer.
I don't doubt that they will respect you more for it, but I've never heard this out of an enlistedman's mouth.
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#74 - hackenschlock (11/19/2015) [-]
it would be nice if they named the ranks on here along with it...
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User avatar #79 to #74 - Sterski (11/19/2015) [-]
Exactly what I was gonna say.
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#128 to #79 - roninneko (11/19/2015) [-]
Especially since they differ between Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines, and are different by country too. As a Canadian, I'm almost completely lost because Americans have about 3 more variants of Sergeants than we do.
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User avatar #29 - PenguinsOfMars (11/19/2015) [-]
Coming from the air force these are pretty accurate... Especially officer ranks, but i have to add that every rank below Major (bronze oak leaf) are legitimately some of the dumbest people you will EVER meet.
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User avatar #183 - nastoy ONLINE (11/19/2015) [-]
I don't have a clue of this joke.
Never been in the military.
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+2
#127 - 6(sic)6 (11/19/2015) [-]
Im in the army and the description of the ranks is 100% true
Im in the army and the description of the ranks is 100% true
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