fml comp
b; Kansas, United States 05/ 12/ 12 10: 42 Q
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don' t
remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don' t
remember having sex since last year. FML
...
| |
Anonymous comments allowed.
79 comments displayed.
#1
-
wellimnotsure (10/14/2015) [-] The best one is the second to last one, cause it least you know her ass is getting beat on a regular basis
#78 to #18
-
thelastpaco (10/15/2015) [-] I don't know man, I live in norther new hampshire (closer to ******* canada than anything else) and there are loads of trails that go around through the woods of peoples property. Pretty much everyone is totally fine with you walking through their woods as long as you don't obviously damage it or aren't annoying. Fields can be a differen't story though, if they are giant haying fields, usually its fine if you stay a good ways away from the house so you don't bother them, but if its a small one, then its pretty rude. General rule of thumb for us up here is that if you are in easy view of the house, that's rude, don't do it, or if there is a sign up that specifically says no trespassing, then avoid their property. Hunting is a different matter, always ask the owner of the land if its ok with them to hunt on their land (it's not legally required but its the right thing to do).
#79 to #78
-
thelastpaco (10/15/2015) [-] pardon the apostrophe in different, don't know why that is there...
#82 to #18
-
balko (10/15/2015) [-]
I don't want to make assumptions because he doesn't give enough info (and even if he did, would he include information that made it look like its his fault?).
I've seen plenty of cases where people treat fences as decorations and trespass on other people's land without having a second thought. It used to happen to my aunt and uncle's land and people leave trash as well.
I've seen plenty of cases where people treat fences as decorations and trespass on other people's land without having a second thought. It used to happen to my aunt and uncle's land and people leave trash as well.
#36 to #25
-
brobathehutt (10/15/2015) [-] Here's a few indicators:
A.) It's not in a city
B.) It doesn't have a open for public sign probably because
C.) It's not a ******* park.
A.) It's not in a city
B.) It doesn't have a open for public sign probably because
C.) It's not a ******* park.
#67 to #65
-
brobathehutt (10/15/2015) [-] You know, if you see a lot of land with no public buildings on it but it's government property where the public is allowed to frolic about all they please it does have an open for public sign, usually it says "Welcome to _____ park". Sometimes it even comes with government employees.
#90 to #83
-
brobathehutt (10/15/2015) [-] Maybe the law is different in those same states, but here if you want to have private land stay private you have to put a fence around it. In the case of trespassing I doubt someone next to a public forest with no fence around their land is going to be upset about trespassing if you aren't doing anything wrong.
#66 to #10
-
ronyx (10/15/2015) [-] At one point both stop taking care of their bodies, gain fat, get old etc, men can't get it up since it's not a hot milf and women suffer from a monotonous sex life and vaginal dryness. It's just a hassle at that point to have sex so most of the days it doesn't cross your mind.
#16 to #15
-
blitzblitz (10/14/2015) [-]
k let me rephrase that. How the hell does someone not have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend for over 9 months
#38 to #16
-
capinsquiggles (10/15/2015) [-] Legit answer to your question, sometimes one of the two people, or both, don't have much of a sex drive so it doesn't happen much... in my case my wife doesn't wanna bang more than like once a month so I just kinda deal with that
#68 to #63
-
capinsquiggles (10/15/2015) [-] Yeah it's kinda rough sometimes, but other sexual acts happen, just not usually sex
#8
-
platinumaltaria ONLINE (10/14/2015) [-] Imagine all the lawsuits if in the last one it was a father.
#32 to #24
-
terranrollerskates (10/15/2015) [-] Yes, you must be a woman, or you must enjoy inflicting pain on people for no reason.
Luckily, we live in a world of equality. If that guy gets a kick in the dick, she should get a cuntpunch.
Luckily, we live in a world of equality. If that guy gets a kick in the dick, she should get a cuntpunch.
#11
-
putinlover ONLINE (10/14/2015) [-] I punched a doctor in the boob once. I was putting on my coat after the examination, and she was old and had very saggy tits. I thrusted my arm from my coat and super slammed her boob. My mom didnt notice, and the doctor acted like nothing happened.
#50 to #11
-
alcoholicsemen (10/15/2015) [-] my hand grazed a coworkers boob i kept apologizing
like a lil bitch
like a lil bitch
#23 to #11
-
hapasan (10/14/2015) [-] That reminds me of a story. One time, I had pink eye, so I went to one of those urgent care places, but my mom had to take me (I was in high-school).
The doctor was this attractive lady in a skirt and doctors coat, and while she was examining my eye she was half-straddling my knee to see my eye. Unfortunately, my mom decided to come with me into the examination room so I couldn't enjoy it.
I was a horny teenager
The doctor was this attractive lady in a skirt and doctors coat, and while she was examining my eye she was half-straddling my knee to see my eye. Unfortunately, my mom decided to come with me into the examination room so I couldn't enjoy it.
I was a horny teenager
#26
-
supersixfourr (10/15/2015) [-] *heavy sigh* I hate mothers that act like this and my mother is one of them the worst part is that Im 24 finishing college and still live with her
#29 to #26
-
fourfangedferret (10/15/2015) [-] the best advice i can give is move out. Even if its just to another relatives place. I moved in with my sister, and its working out fantastically. Got some job options going, im not being bitched at 24/7, and i can basically do what i want as long as i dont stumble in at 2am singing "the mayor of bayswater".
#35 to #33
-
fourfangedferret (10/15/2015) [-] Oh. Well id straight up tell her to get out. Also, what happened to locks on doors and **** , its like asking for jamal to come and take your tv.
#3
-
maximusboy (10/14/2015) [-] to be fair, the guys favorite color answer could be fine if the context was shirt color or something similar
#5 to #3
-
brokentrucker ONLINE (10/14/2015) [-] Not even shirt color. Camo patterns aren't just like "OMG, MOSSY OAK"
#39
-
anon (10/15/2015) [-]
I lost my job recently, my girlfriend cheated on me recently (and we were going strong for 4 years, I thought of marrying her. Shes been cheating on me for two years now), I broke my leg recently, and I don't have the money for college. These are all relatable but it kinda makes me even sadder, I mean seriously, FML and **** life. Coming from an anon, nobody will care when I complain (sorry for complaining guys, nobody else listens though lol)
#56 to #39
-
amiibo (10/15/2015) [-] my GF broke up with me last december after 5 years. shortly after wards i got my first amiibo for Christmas
it felt good having a little buddy during that lonely time
I've since replaced her entirely with amiibos
its become a serious problem
ive spent like 500 dollars
help
it felt good having a little buddy during that lonely time
I've since replaced her entirely with amiibos
its become a serious problem
ive spent like 500 dollars
help
#43
-
toosexyforyou (10/15/2015) [-] Hey if the worst thing that your girlfriend's ex can say about you while trying to put you down is that you like camouflage, then I'd say the girlfriend made a wise move.
#46 to #44
-
toosexyforyou (10/15/2015) [-] Depends on which part of the world you're in. If you're in southern USA, that's a fine compliment.
#86
-
dawggz (10/15/2015) [-] Like **** this **** I'm angry now.
I couldn't have a girl over at my house in my whole ******* life. As if getting laid wasn't difficult enough for me but now I still have my parents who go ******* if I bring a girl over and go ******* if for the past year and a half I have lost all of my sexual appetite and haven't had a relationship since.
I couldn't have a girl over at my house in my whole ******* life. As if getting laid wasn't difficult enough for me but now I still have my parents who go ******* if I bring a girl over and go ******* if for the past year and a half I have lost all of my sexual appetite and haven't had a relationship since.
#84
-
bakagaijin (10/15/2015) [-] **bakagaijin used "*roll picture*"**
**bakagaijin rolled image**My coworkers asked me if I wanted cocaine... they all "have a cold" and no one found a dealer....
**bakagaijin rolled image**My coworkers asked me if I wanted cocaine... they all "have a cold" and no one found a dealer....
