First time babysitting
THE GAME NA 'rti
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18 comments displayed.
#15 to #1
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anon (07/01/2014) [-] 
>party is exploring a dungeon
>finds a small pool with weird looking blue goo
>wizard tries to identify it but fails
>cleric then takes a sip
>turns out its purified liquid viagra
>expandsdong.jpg X10
>fighter fills a flask with it
>party then later fights some ogres close to a chasm
>fighter drinks viagra and pushes ogre down the chasm with his dong
>finds a small pool with weird looking blue goo
>wizard tries to identify it but fails
>cleric then takes a sip
>turns out its purified liquid viagra
>expandsdong.jpg X10
>fighter fills a flask with it
>party then later fights some ogres close to a chasm
>fighter drinks viagra and pushes ogre down the chasm with his dong
#7 to #1
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galaxyguy (07/01/2014) [-] Had my first DnD session a week or so ago.
>Start game by arriving at a town during a carnival.
>Find an inn.
>Hot ass elf girl leads me to a private room to have some... fun...
>Drugs me
>Get raped by half-orc, landwhate innkeeper. Full BDSM and everything.
Is... Is this normal?
>Start game by arriving at a town during a carnival.
>Find an inn.
>Hot ass elf girl leads me to a private room to have some... fun...
>Drugs me
>Get raped by half-orc, landwhate innkeeper. Full BDSM and everything.
Is... Is this normal?
#13 to #7
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ibinoth (07/01/2014) [-] Not too unlike what happened in one of my very early sessions, though not to me. Myself and another guy were more or less first-timers at this point, with a sorta experienced DM at the helm.
> Arrive at town early, meeting quest givers in 2 days
> We decide to rent a room at an inn upon arriving
> Only one bed because we're cheap
> Day's still young so we decide to hit town
> Somehow my partner manages to gravely offend two male "lifepartners", these being an orc and a dwarf
> Think nothing of it, not like we'll be seeing them again
> Getting back to the inn, I initiate alpha mode and claim the bed
> Partner has to sleep in a drawer in the cupboard
> Gets stuck
> I go out to get help
> Orc and dwarf couple happens to pass the room as I open the door, spot partner
> Offer 50 gold to buy me out of the room
> Fukken sweet!
> Never saw partner again
> Arrive at town early, meeting quest givers in 2 days
> We decide to rent a room at an inn upon arriving
> Only one bed because we're cheap
> Day's still young so we decide to hit town
> Somehow my partner manages to gravely offend two male "lifepartners", these being an orc and a dwarf
> Think nothing of it, not like we'll be seeing them again
> Getting back to the inn, I initiate alpha mode and claim the bed
> Partner has to sleep in a drawer in the cupboard
> Gets stuck
> I go out to get help
> Orc and dwarf couple happens to pass the room as I open the door, spot partner
> Offer 50 gold to buy me out of the room
> Fukken sweet!
> Never saw partner again
#12 to #1
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ibinoth (07/01/2014) [-] > DMing D&D 3.5
> Decide to use Tome of Battle for the first time
> Hear it's full of overpowered ****
> Good.jpg
> Party consists of assorted monster freaks, among others a medusa
> Party meets a gang of 3 crusaders
> Get pretty beat up all over, but manage okay
> Medusa took the hardest beating, her player getting really mad about it
> Last surviving crusader gets polymorphed into a bunny
> Medusa decides to get all personal about his death
> Picks him up and starts trying to bite away his last remaining
HP with ****** bite attacks
> I read up on his class, turns out he doesn't need a weapon or
anything to use his ridiculously OP abilities
> mfw bunnies need to be in close combat to even hit anything, and
this mofo held him right to her stupid face
> mfw natural 20
> mfw bunny deals 80 damage and kicks her head off
> Decide to use Tome of Battle for the first time
> Hear it's full of overpowered ****
> Good.jpg
> Party consists of assorted monster freaks, among others a medusa
> Party meets a gang of 3 crusaders
> Get pretty beat up all over, but manage okay
> Medusa took the hardest beating, her player getting really mad about it
> Last surviving crusader gets polymorphed into a bunny
> Medusa decides to get all personal about his death
> Picks him up and starts trying to bite away his last remaining
HP with ****** bite attacks
> I read up on his class, turns out he doesn't need a weapon or
anything to use his ridiculously OP abilities
> mfw bunnies need to be in close combat to even hit anything, and
this mofo held him right to her stupid face
> mfw natural 20
> mfw bunny deals 80 damage and kicks her head off
#9 to #1
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protomanrulezz (07/01/2014) [-] >be walking through town, first ever game I played
>plan to play a heroish character, kills thieves and stuff
>Decide to tell my DM I wanna kill thieves
>"you cant just kill them, you need to find them"
>lol k
>walk outside church and yell as loud as elfly possible "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS GOLD IN MY POCKET?!?"
>dm tells me I feel someone pickpocketing me
>not on my watch!
>swing sword arm around at top speed to kill this dastardly man
>turns out it was a child, sword hits him dead on
>child dead instantly
>me and my fellow level 3 companions surrounded by well trained town guards in seconds
>all of us slaughtered by guards
I like to think it went down pretty well, plus I have 7 years of games I can share if anyone wants me to tell more
>plan to play a heroish character, kills thieves and stuff
>Decide to tell my DM I wanna kill thieves
>"you cant just kill them, you need to find them"
>lol k
>walk outside church and yell as loud as elfly possible "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS GOLD IN MY POCKET?!?"
>dm tells me I feel someone pickpocketing me
>not on my watch!
>swing sword arm around at top speed to kill this dastardly man
>turns out it was a child, sword hits him dead on
>child dead instantly
>me and my fellow level 3 companions surrounded by well trained town guards in seconds
>all of us slaughtered by guards
I like to think it went down pretty well, plus I have 7 years of games I can share if anyone wants me to tell more
#2 to #1
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seratyo ONLINE (06/30/2014) [-] >Go through long ass dungeon
>Psion gets a Wabbajack type staff (Transorms stuff into other stuff)
>Teleported out of dungeon straight into an encounter
>4 ogres not too bad for level 6s...
>Friend decides to use new staff
>welltimed1.png
>summons chain demon
>encounter takes too long and thus ends session.
NEXT SESSION
>Usual pre-amble. Retarded dwarf. New town. Etc.
>Town has stuff being stolen from store room
>Fukken kobolds...
>First (Last) encounter
>2 Troglodytes and a couple kobolds
>"Guys, I'll use my staff. It shouldn't happen twice"
>run.twice.exe
>Turns Kobold into Succubus
>Everybody is getting attacked by me who is under the spell
>"Don't worry guys, I'll-"
>run.thrice.exe
>Chaindemon again
>End of session.
I have more, if you'd like more...
>Psion gets a Wabbajack type staff (Transorms stuff into other stuff)
>Teleported out of dungeon straight into an encounter
>4 ogres not too bad for level 6s...
>Friend decides to use new staff
>welltimed1.png
>summons chain demon
>encounter takes too long and thus ends session.
NEXT SESSION
>Usual pre-amble. Retarded dwarf. New town. Etc.
>Town has stuff being stolen from store room
>Fukken kobolds...
>First (Last) encounter
>2 Troglodytes and a couple kobolds
>"Guys, I'll use my staff. It shouldn't happen twice"
>run.twice.exe
>Turns Kobold into Succubus
>Everybody is getting attacked by me who is under the spell
>"Don't worry guys, I'll-"
>run.thrice.exe
>Chaindemon again
>End of session.
I have more, if you'd like more...
#17 to #11
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seratyo ONLINE (07/01/2014) [-] >Earlier in campaign
>See town on horizon getting ****** up by a dragon
>DM kinda generic story teller, have to help
>Poison dragon has sprayed gas all over town
>Talk to dragon, pretty reasonable dude acually
>Says he's looking for a Dwarf that tried to take his treasure and stabbed him in the neck
>We start looking around the town saving people who are trapped in their houses
>Find dwarf hiding in a barrel
>Try to sneak him out of town because generic quest line, can't help Dragon-bro
>About to leave the town hall, tell Dwarf there's poison everywhere
>DM in best dwarf voice "I'LL HOLD ME BREATH."
>Dat low roll
>Dwarf instantly takes deep breath as we walk outside and faints
>Have to sneak carry him out of town
This dwarf was ******* retarded though. We fought the dragon off and killed it then without his help, because the dragon attacked while we were camping and he didn't wake up for some retarded reason. Asked him where the dragon's cave is and he replies "I don't remember." We eventually ran into some elves who wanted to arrest him, we just ******* gave him to them, we were sick of his **** ... DM thought we would fight the elves off, of course not, **** this guy...
>See town on horizon getting ****** up by a dragon
>DM kinda generic story teller, have to help
>Poison dragon has sprayed gas all over town
>Talk to dragon, pretty reasonable dude acually
>Says he's looking for a Dwarf that tried to take his treasure and stabbed him in the neck
>We start looking around the town saving people who are trapped in their houses
>Find dwarf hiding in a barrel
>Try to sneak him out of town because generic quest line, can't help Dragon-bro
>About to leave the town hall, tell Dwarf there's poison everywhere
>DM in best dwarf voice "I'LL HOLD ME BREATH."
>Dat low roll
>Dwarf instantly takes deep breath as we walk outside and faints
>Have to sneak carry him out of town
This dwarf was ******* retarded though. We fought the dragon off and killed it then without his help, because the dragon attacked while we were camping and he didn't wake up for some retarded reason. Asked him where the dragon's cave is and he replies "I don't remember." We eventually ran into some elves who wanted to arrest him, we just ******* gave him to them, we were sick of his **** ... DM thought we would fight the elves off, of course not, **** this guy...
#6 to #3
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ZalgotheImminent (07/01/2014) [-] I dunno, man. I've had GMs put Wabbajack-esque weapons in a game.
One idiot turned another player into a cinnamon roll, which was promptly eaten by the idiot. Later in the session, another character turned Asmodeus, the Devil Tyrant of the Nine Hells, into a harmless kitten by shooting him with a Rod of Wonder shotgun he had rigged up by collecting 10 Rods of Wonder and binding them together with rope.
We kept Asmodeus the Kitten for about 3 sessions before he turned back and everyone was brutally tortured and murdered.
One idiot turned another player into a cinnamon roll, which was promptly eaten by the idiot. Later in the session, another character turned Asmodeus, the Devil Tyrant of the Nine Hells, into a harmless kitten by shooting him with a Rod of Wonder shotgun he had rigged up by collecting 10 Rods of Wonder and binding them together with rope.
We kept Asmodeus the Kitten for about 3 sessions before he turned back and everyone was brutally tortured and murdered.
#14 to #6
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ibinoth (07/01/2014) [-] Since I found this, every campaign I ever run has an item in it which draws upon it:
centralia.aquest.com/downloads/NLRMEv2.pdf
It's for D&D 2.0 tho', so many of'em are quite dated.
centralia.aquest.com/downloads/NLRMEv2.pdf
It's for D&D 2.0 tho', so many of'em are quite dated.
#10
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protomanrulezz (07/01/2014) [-] looking for someone to play a cleric in a game on roll20.com message me if you are interested
