Had you ever made a wishlist?
I myself must live with ****** up spleen but sometimes life is worth living it.
You can throw up biggest party in history.
You can become vigilante and **** up pedophile living near you. Or that guy who sells drugs to kids on the corner.
You can **** whores without paying...
Or,
You can go talk to your father again and tell that you love him.
You can find that girl from elementary school and see her smile again.
You shoul'd fullfill at least one of your dreams.
There's a lot of lovely things you can do.
If you're european i woul'd like to meet you. So you can have someone to say goodbye. And then, when the pain will come, you can go.

I understand that you wanna' leave without pain but some guys here are right. Four months is a lot of time. You can shoot yourself any time.