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Feminist bake sale

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Views: 35543
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Submitted: 06/23/2014
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User avatar #1 - banjodance (06/23/2014) [+] (3 replies)
stickied by gtocforyou
did you mean to post to 4chan and got lost along the way?
User avatar #24 - gtocforyou (06/23/2014) [+] (11 replies)
stickied by gtocforyou
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you male pig? I'll have you know I graduated top of my Womyn's Studies class, and I've been involved in numerous demonstrations against oppression of womynkind, and I have over 300 signatures on my petition. I am trained in debate tactics and I'm the top speaker in the entire Feminist Frequency. You are nothing to me but just another cis scum. I will reeducate the **** out of you with feminism the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, male oppressor. As we speak I am contacting my public network of activists across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, misogynist. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your worldview. You're ******* dead, nerd. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can disprove your biased theories in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with no preparation time. Not only am I extensively trained in rhetorics, but I have access to the entire funding of the Tropes vs Women in Video Games project and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable opinions off the face of the Internet, you rapist. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godessdamn idiot. I will rain empowerment all over womyn and your cisprivilege will drown in it. Your rape culture is over, man.
#16 - anonymous (06/23/2014) [-]
stickied by gtocforyou
"she has been reduced to a slave -- nay -- a commodity"

Your way with words is on another level.
#12 - notwhothefkisanon (06/23/2014) [+] (1 reply)
man this idea of buying the whole **** at a feminist bakesale is actuall ******* genius
User avatar #8 - mrevitcartta (06/23/2014) [+] (7 replies)
I've been seeing this kind of thing for quite some time, and I have to ask, what is "cis"?
User avatar #11 to #10 - crutos ONLINE (06/23/2014) [-]
It is also the Confederacy of Independant Systems.


Feminists has succesfully made up a slur word for being normal.
User avatar #27 - friendlyanonymous (06/23/2014) [-]
My teacher put me in the front of the room in history class because I was always on my phone and he thought I was cheating considering my good grade.

>I sit down in my new seat, stretching because I do enjoy the amount of leg space
>Girl behind me stands up
>I don't mean a normal standing up either, I mean she shot up like my erection at the understanding of the oppression I was throwing around
>I turn back and smile at her
>She takes a deep breath, her face flushed of color except for the deep crimson coming from her cheeks
>I stare deeply into her eyes, and see the caged animal inside of her fighting my oppressive gaze
>She loudly claims that I shouldn't sit in the front, as that is only causing the patriarchy to increase
>For a good 3 minutes to lists everything that whites have done wrong, and how me going back to my original seat would in fact "help reverse the misdeeds of my ancestors"
>The entire time I smile at her
>She finishes with the threatening of kicking my genitals
>I reply "You must be a good fighter to aim for the soft spots"
>She says, obviously feeling the rape resonating in her ears from my voice, "It's payback for taking my seat like you took the indians land, you pig."
>Teacher tells her to shut up and go sit down
>Instead she cries and leaves the class, mumbling about how she was oppressed
>The rest of the class we continue learning about the advances of womans rights in the 20's
#21 - withstrangeraeons (06/23/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I went to a bake sale on campus about a month ago. The girl behind the counter was so proud of their stuff, seeing as they had nut free ones, lactose free ones, gluten free...
I asked if any of them were vegan. She just got this horrified look across her face, and stammered on for half a minute about how she didn't, sorry, they had to do all the baking the night before and didn't have time etc. etc. before I could tell her that I wasn't actually vegan, just wondering.
I'm not posting this as some kind of anti-vegan thing, just that it's a fun way to mess with people at bake sales. Also, I've actually had vegan cookies before, and they're great if you don't know what actual cookies are like.
#28 - mrmcput (06/23/2014) [-]
>Be working as a deckhand on a cruise ship.
>Cruising off the coast of Cuba when the ship is torpedoed by a Nazi U-boat
>Ship begins to sink rapidly and I'm put in charge of getting passengers onto one of the lifeboats.
>On board of this male dominated, anti-feminist ship, women and children were forced onto lifeboats first.
>Boat is almost full of oppressed women and children with only one seat left and I don't see anymore in line.
>I'm about to let a man onto the boat when I see someone at the back of the line.
>It's a woman carrying a small child, almost certainly a product of rape, trying to hide from me.
>Call back to her, "Ma'am, please come to the front of the line, women and children first"
>All the men in the line agree and make way for her to come forward, chanting, "women and children first"
>The women in the boat gasp in horror at this display of male dominance.
>Both her and the child are sobbing at this point.
>When she gets to the front of the line, I say to her, "I saved this last seat just for you."
>Between the sobs, she manages to blurt out a "thank you" as she climbs into the boat.
>I put on my best smile and reply, "It was my privilege" as the boat is lowered into the water with a hundred sobbing women on board.
>The men break into cheers and laughter, highfiving each other as the ship sunk beneath the waves.
#42 - trolololer (06/23/2014) [-]
>I give a low-pitched chuckle with my testosterone-privileged vocal cords

ALL MY ******* KEKS
#25 - gibroner (06/23/2014) [-]
>Be me leaving history class in college that I got into by using my cis white male privilege    
>about to open the door when out of the corner of my eye I rape a lone woman heading towards the same door   
>My penis instantly becomes engorged with privilege as an oppressive scheme enters my evil cis gendered brain    
>using nothing but my raging erection I hold the door open standing out of the way and say "After you ma'am"    
>She begins trembling as I rape her from head to toe with eyes   
>Holding back tears she meekly mumbles "T-thank y-you s-sir"    
>My erection swells up breaking the door off it's hinge as the oppression courses through my body   
>My lips slowly purses into a wicked smile as say "It was my privilege"    
>The second the words leave my rape soaked lips she begins uncontrollably sobbing    
>every virgin within a 5 mile radius has their hymen broken from the oppressive shock wave that my privileged words issue forth   
>All the men on campus begin raping anything they can get their hands on   
>All the women on campus are immediately sold into sex slavery    
>MFW
>Be me leaving history class in college that I got into by using my cis white male privilege
>about to open the door when out of the corner of my eye I rape a lone woman heading towards the same door
>My penis instantly becomes engorged with privilege as an oppressive scheme enters my evil cis gendered brain
>using nothing but my raging erection I hold the door open standing out of the way and say "After you ma'am"
>She begins trembling as I rape her from head to toe with eyes
>Holding back tears she meekly mumbles "T-thank y-you s-sir"
>My erection swells up breaking the door off it's hinge as the oppression courses through my body
>My lips slowly purses into a wicked smile as say "It was my privilege"
>The second the words leave my rape soaked lips she begins uncontrollably sobbing
>every virgin within a 5 mile radius has their hymen broken from the oppressive shock wave that my privileged words issue forth
>All the men on campus begin raping anything they can get their hands on
>All the women on campus are immediately sold into sex slavery
>MFW
#30 - anonymous (06/23/2014) [+] (4 replies)
> be me
> be on funny junk
> browse posts
> "something something feminism"
> hit next button
User avatar #32 to #30 - gtocforyou (06/23/2014) [-]
pls come back.
User avatar #14 - kavrick ONLINE (06/23/2014) [-]
This is actually brilliant
#5 - nopefarther (06/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #29 - Viceroy (06/23/2014) [-]
I really need that second-to-last line to say "I give a sensual grunt as I bite down, deflowering the moist pastry."
User avatar #56 - xXZeroOutXx (06/24/2014) [-]
Absolutely poetic. The imagery was phenomenal.
User avatar #34 - thedungeonmaster (06/23/2014) [-]
"testosterone-privileged vocal cords"
"I reach my phallic hand over"

**** man these lines are hilarious
User avatar #22 - masterfluffydubs (06/23/2014) [-]
absolutely brilliant
User avatar #57 - ferrettamer (06/24/2014) [+] (3 replies)
this stopped being funny after the first one
User avatar #4 - metalguitarest (06/23/2014) [-]
I don't know why this left me laughing so hard
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