Facepalm comp. . E FOR HELP l PUSH RED BUTTON Ach, YELL WARN I T Xiii. No Swimming If you can‘! swim YOU DON' T SAY?. As a lifeguard, I can honestly say that the "no swimming if you can't swim sign" would actually be useful... Almost every time I jumped in to get some Facepalm comp E FOR HELP l PUSH RED BUTTON Ach YELL WARN I T Xiii No Swimming If you can‘! swim YOU DON' SAY? As a lifeguard can honestly say that the "no swimming if can't sign" would actually be useful Almost every time jumped in to get some
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#5 - sscuba
Reply +92 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
As a lifeguard, I can honestly say that the "no swimming if you can't swim sign" would actually be useful...
Almost every time I jumped in to get someone and asked them if they could swim, they would look at me dead in the eye and say "no"
Then why the **** did you jump in the deep end! I'm tired of working against natural selection!
#73 to #5 - assrocket
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
**As someone who can't swim, I'd just like to say: I'm really ******* sorry to every lifeguard who has ever had the misfortune of meeting me in a public swimming area.   
**   
I nearly drowned myself in two separate friends' birthday parties.   
The first time, I wasn't paying attention and was carried into deep water by waves.   
The second time,  That's right. I didn't learn from the first time. In fact - I think I might have been brain damaged from my first near-drowning because the second time was worse: I told my friends I couldn't swim, so they coaxed me into going into the deep end in the hopes of learning through necessity and told me they were both strong swimmers who could save me just in case I didn't resurface...   
   
******* clever, yeah?   
   
Yeah - well. I ******* did it.   
I ******* jumped into the water. And it's a damn miracle they weren't lying when they said they were good swimmers because there sure as hell wasn't a lifeguard anywhere nearby.   
   
I nearly drowned at two friends' birthday parties.   
Can you imagine - can you just imagine for a second how ****** up these kids would be if I actually had drowned?   
   
And, hey. Guess who recently nearly drowned at a notoriously dangerous beach? Go on. Three guesses. It's even the beach I developed a fear of water at.   
So, yeah. Just let dumbasses like me drown. We're just going to jump in the deep end again anyway. We're ******* stupid to the core.
**As someone who can't swim, I'd just like to say: I'm really ******* sorry to every lifeguard who has ever had the misfortune of meeting me in a public swimming area.
**
I nearly drowned myself in two separate friends' birthday parties.
The first time, I wasn't paying attention and was carried into deep water by waves.
The second time, That's right. I didn't learn from the first time. In fact - I think I might have been brain damaged from my first near-drowning because the second time was worse: I told my friends I couldn't swim, so they coaxed me into going into the deep end in the hopes of learning through necessity and told me they were both strong swimmers who could save me just in case I didn't resurface...

******* clever, yeah?

Yeah - well. I ******* did it.
I ******* jumped into the water. And it's a damn miracle they weren't lying when they said they were good swimmers because there sure as hell wasn't a lifeguard anywhere nearby.

I nearly drowned at two friends' birthday parties.
Can you imagine - can you just imagine for a second how ****** up these kids would be if I actually had drowned?

And, hey. Guess who recently nearly drowned at a notoriously dangerous beach? Go on. Three guesses. It's even the beach I developed a fear of water at.
So, yeah. Just let dumbasses like me drown. We're just going to jump in the deep end again anyway. We're ******* stupid to the core.
#12 to #5 - jakeattack
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
the reason is probably to not appear weak or a pussy to their
friends.
#17 to #12 - cdsams
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
I am assuming you are not joking...  people who idiotically place their life in danger purely out of peer pressure is why natural selection occurs.
I am assuming you are not joking... people who idiotically place their life in danger purely out of peer pressure is why natural selection occurs.
User avatar #26 to #17 - tacosnigga
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
Hes not arguing against him hes just saying answering the question I think dont hate if im wrong
#25 to #17 - jakeattack
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
no im not joking, its probably the most likely reason. people are scared of their reputation and do stupid ****.
User avatar #32 to #25 - majestispaceduck
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
so.... not knowing how to swim doesn't make you look weak?
#34 to #32 - jakeattack
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
no i mean that not knowing how to swim does make you look weak
User avatar #35 to #34 - majestispaceduck
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
so by proving you don't know how to swim, you think it'll fool people into thinking you know how to swim.... interesting tactic... it's just crazy enough to get your ass beat.
#36 to #35 - jakeattack
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
i dont do this, im saying they try and prove that they know how to swim by just making it appear that they can swim. idk its not logical, its just fear.
#27 to #5 - buddhistzilla
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
I feel you on that one. The worst experience I had as a lifeguard was with a patron who took offence to me telling her and her daughter they couldn't clip their toenails in the hot tub.
User avatar #29 to #5 - jajathezombie
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
******* this. I worked as a lifeguard at a fitness club for 3 years. The pool was basically where parents dropped their kids while they worked out like it's some ******* free babysitting service. Worse, we didn't have a patch system for allowing kids in deep water/down the slides so any ******** could go down them. I made at least one "save" a day (I say it like that because it was usually some little kid I could easily pull out of the water without even going in) and that was just my shift - the other guards made daily saves too.
#65 to #29 - worried
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
maybe he/she thought you where hot?
#18 - sprites
Reply +71 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
#30 - padzoid
Reply +63 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
**padzoid rolls 88**
User avatar #31 to #30 - jimmytwoshoes
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
looks like you can cross
#43 to #30 - kaywillwo
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
my *****
#33 to #30 - padzoid
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
User avatar #23 - OldSnake
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
Behind every dumb sign is an even dumber story.
#14 - Marker
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
#54 - vaginaboobpussy
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
>order pissa   
>eat pissa   
>forgot to open box   
>****
>order pissa
>eat pissa
>forgot to open box
>****
#55 to #54 - wazoowonseventeen
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#15 - kingdaniel
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
#6 - extendingarm
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]
I honestly expected this for the door one
#81 to #6 - coxcox
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
**coxcox rolled a random comment #52888 posted by omnomnipotent at Religion Board ** :
You has religion?
#53 - funkmasterjunk
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/26/2014) [-]
"Notice what officer?"
#1 - airquakes
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/25/2014) [-]