FML. . C) Erica On the 7/ was at 2: 27 PM ] Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the First time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pu FML C) Erica On the 7/ was at 2: 27 PM ] Today my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping when for First time he told me loved panicked pu
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FML

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C) Erica On the 7/ was at 2: 27 PM ]
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff
jumping, when for the First time, he told me
he loved me. I panicked and pushed him
over the edge and into the water. He' s now
in hospital. FML
259'
61119
I Q On the 2/ 5/ 14 at was PM 9
Today, after years of counseling and therapy
for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words:
Happy Bird. FML
40944 I agree, your " sucks 186
ll Unknown On the 2/ 7/ 14 at was AM 6
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk
while we were fooling around on the couch,
when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity
to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst
out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was
between her cheeks and the couch cushion.
I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet
old lady got on after me and sat next to me.
Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her
head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice,
I gently tried to wake her up before my stop
came. She wasn' t sleeping. I let a dead
woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
641 k I agree, your life sucks - 849
48340
I Q caroline On the 2/ 6/ 09 at 11: 29 AM 6
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend.
When he was about to orgasm, he
screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his
lungs. My name' s not Brittany. That' s his
sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 1 64
49513
I bittersweet On the 2/ was at was PM ,
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His
response: "l got your best friend pregnant".
FML
46144
Today, I was at the park when I saw a
homeless man sleeping on a bench. I
thought it would be funny to throw a small
rock at him. He thought it would be funny to
pull out his knife and chase me for six
blocks. FML
was
You deserved it
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I
barely know. I didn' t have a condom and
was nervous about getting her pregnant, but
she assured me that I could pull out. Right
when I was about to pull out, she wrapped
her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY
BABY' S DADDY!" I couldn' t get out in time.
FML
I agree, your life sucks 1661
You deserved it
Today, I forgot to do my French homework,
but since it was an online worksheet, I told
my teacher my internet wasn' t working. I
told her with an femail. FML
58401 1139
You deserved it
Tourist On the 3/ 26/ 09 at my AM ,
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I
spotted a large group of Asians trying to
take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say,
You... want me... take picture?" while using
hand motions. The man looks at me and
says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain
English. FML
58115 I agree, your " sucks i 793
You deserved it
...
+1362
Views: 47192 Submitted: 04/21/2014
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[ 230 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #1 - tripscausedthis
Reply +237 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
>be me, 20
>dad's 52nd birthday party
>all you can eat chinese restaurant
>dad's kind of a dick, hates asians
>we use all the plates on our table
>dad stops an asian man on his way past
>"excuse me, more plates please"
>"uh...sorry" in broken english
>dad interrupts "don't be sorry just get us more clean plates"
>"i...no.....sorry"
>dad continues "no sorry, mate, just get us some plates"
>asian man is clearly flustered
>can't find the right words in his limited english
>"whats the problem mate we just want more plates"
>asian man is now panicing
>dad is now frustrated
>"how many times do i have to ask you mate"
User avatar #111 to #1 - runescapewasgood
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
>hates asians
>eating chinese
wat
User avatar #129 to #111 - tripscausedthis
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I hate my grandmother but the bitch still makes a good roast.
User avatar #2 to #1 - tripscausedthis
Reply +374 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
cont.
>"no times" replies asian man
>dad says "thats exactly right, i've asked a few times in english, i can't ask in chinese because I don't know the words for MORE PLATES in mongolian"
>asian man managers to stammer out his first relative sentence
>"i'm like you"
>dad is confused now too...
>whole table sits with their head in their hands
>"you're a lot of things mate, but like me isnt one of them"
>asian man finally grows some bravado and shouts at dad
>"I AM CUSTOMER TOO"
>whole restaurant loses it.
>dad goes and gets his own clean plates.
#158 to #2 - cazabrow
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Wait now I'm confused, which IT company was this during
Wait now I'm confused, which IT company was this during
User avatar #231 to #158 - tripscausedthis
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
this was while working for the store I was at for the cockpit of shame
User avatar #3 to #2 - tripscausedthis
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
relevant to last post.
#27 to #3 - indianajoe
Reply +41 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Your dad is definitely a dick. But that's still hilarious.
User avatar #37 to #27 - zanepunch
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I love you trips.
User avatar #101 to #37 - tripscausedthis
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
thanks bro. but i kinda sorta only like you maybe i could learn to love you im sorry
User avatar #56 to #37 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
that's a shame
User avatar #50 to #37 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
replied to the wrong dude
User avatar #55 to #50 - zanepunch
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I don't like to mess up the purple lines.
User avatar #57 to #55 - zanepunch
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
#230 to #2 - lemonylove
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Oh god, something like this happened to me. On a first date at a pizza place. Guy got the wrong pizza, didn't have the balls to complain. So I did - loudly and passionately. To a customer. MFW He blurted out laughing, along with my date
#19 - thebaseballexpert
Reply +125 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
"BE MY BABY'S DADDY!"
#31 to #19 - anon id: 512c13ff
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Spread dem legs. My stork has a delivery.   
   
   
I have an impregnation fetish
Spread dem legs. My stork has a delivery.


I have an impregnation fetish
#88 to #19 - legitimately
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Sure
Sure
User avatar #170 to #88 - trollchildxy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
With her too, im okay with that T.T
#75 to #19 - legamethatyoulost
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
GLADLY
#22 to #19 - spookyexplain
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
#38 - tehcashew
Reply +116 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
>be me, 18   
>have girlfriend of 6 months   
>says she wants to wait to have sex till marriage   
>say ok and will respect her wishes   
>continues to say this throughout relationship   
>2 weeks later   
>be at river swimming with 2 best friends   
>3, 9/10 girls float by on inner tubes   
>they stop by have half hour conversation with them   
>they say if we have condoms they are DTF   
>say no I have a girlfriend (kinda beta i know)   
>they leave   
>15 minutes later one friend receives a text   
>it's my Girlfriend   
>Thinks she's pregnant "how do i tell Tehcashew?"   
>immediately break up with her   
MFW GF wants to wait and cheats on me   
MFW just passed up sex with 9/10 for cheating whore 15 min prior
>be me, 18
>have girlfriend of 6 months
>says she wants to wait to have sex till marriage
>say ok and will respect her wishes
>continues to say this throughout relationship
>2 weeks later
>be at river swimming with 2 best friends
>3, 9/10 girls float by on inner tubes
>they stop by have half hour conversation with them
>they say if we have condoms they are DTF
>say no I have a girlfriend (kinda beta i know)
>they leave
>15 minutes later one friend receives a text
>it's my Girlfriend
>Thinks she's pregnant "how do i tell Tehcashew?"
>immediately break up with her
MFW GF wants to wait and cheats on me
MFW just passed up sex with 9/10 for cheating whore 15 min prior
#62 to #38 - anon id: 7d82ccde
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Sorry man, what a ****** way to find out. From personal experience if women wait that long usually something is up. Yes, some of them respect their bodies/marriage but often times I found there was something else going on. Either they are cheating, aren't attracted to you, or in my case one was even a lesbian and didn't remotely like the thought of the D.
Sorry man, what a ****** way to find out. From personal experience if women wait that long usually something is up. Yes, some of them respect their bodies/marriage but often times I found there was something else going on. Either they are cheating, aren't attracted to you, or in my case one was even a lesbian and didn't remotely like the thought of the D.
User avatar #192 to #62 - theincrediblemrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
It is rather sad I've been in the same boat as you.
User avatar #195 to #38 - yourinvisiblegf
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
french fag here
what "DTF" means ?
User avatar #197 to #195 - herpderpstrom
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Down To ****. And OP, not cheating isn't beta, it's called being a decent guy
User avatar #64 to #38 - hawaiianhappysauce
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
When they say sex before marriage it's usually a lie. Don't fall for it.
#119 to #38 - killerblue
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Don't worry friend same thing with me....****** sluts
MFW
#91 to #38 - angelooo
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Bonkers status: Clonked.
#152 to #38 - xsnowshark
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Being faithful is beta to you?

User avatar #97 to #38 - brettyht
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Well who the hell has a girlfriend of 6 months, you sick bastard
#80 to #38 - xxTheJesterxx
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Not cheating is now beta
Not cheating is now beta
#60 to #38 - lolollo
Reply +70 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Not wanting to cheat on your girlfriend is beta now?

Jesus, what have we become...
#120 to #60 - killerblue
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Indeed, culture has declined rapidly
Must take samples for study
#41 - gtfomylawnbish
Reply +81 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Alright, rarely do I find a moment on this site to give fatherly advice. At my age, I'm allowed to do this and assumingly at your age, you should listen. With that said....


NEVER

USE

THE

PULL

OUT

METHOD.


Ever. If a girl says "you don't need a condom" you need two.

A full half of adults in the US have an STD. 115 million people in the US have an STD.

Here's the scary part. Ready? 80% of those people do not know they have an STD.

"My pussy is clean" is short for "your dick will rot"
User avatar #131 to #41 - danniegurl
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Except if you were both virgins before you met.
User avatar #211 to #131 - Dember
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
You can be born with STDs.
You can be born with STDs and not know it.

People can lie about being virgins;
whether they have an STD or not,
and whether they know they have an STD or not.
User avatar #212 to #211 - danniegurl
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I'm not talking about that kind of relationship.
User avatar #213 to #212 - Dember
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Well if you're not having sex, then no, there's no need to wear a condom. Unless it just makes you feel better I guess.
User avatar #214 to #213 - danniegurl
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
No, I mean not the kind of relationship where people would lie to each other about that.
User avatar #215 to #214 - Dember
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Yes, because there are types of relationships in which nobody involved ever lies. Those exist.

k.
User avatar #216 to #215 - danniegurl
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
About things as big as that? Yeah, those do exist.
Not everyone lies about having stds.
User avatar #217 to #216 - Dember
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Contrary to popular misconception, you can't actually tell if someone is "the type" to lie or not.
And you wouldn't know for sure if they were lying until it was too late. Good job.
User avatar #218 to #217 - danniegurl
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
If you've been with the person for 8 months before you've had sex, you know the type of person they are.
User avatar #219 to #218 - Dember
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
ok
User avatar #204 to #41 - wrocky
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
it really depends on the girl you're with
User avatar #65 to #41 - hawaiianhappysauce
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
110 million? That seems a little high.
User avatar #116 to #41 - tiredofthis
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
If people only had sex with one parter, to who they were married, these kinds of things wouldn't happen....

Just sayin'.
User avatar #177 to #41 - werfgh
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
you are a great dad <3
User avatar #194 to #41 - fearoffailure
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
If it's not on, it's not on.
#210 to #41 - Dember
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Well said, sir.
User avatar #44 to #41 - plasmaballs
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
also because you can have pre-ejaculate that contains semen and can still make the girl pregnant even if you do pull out before cumming
User avatar #123 to #44 - capinsquiggles
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Technically no. But Technically yes. Pre-cum does not contain any sperm and you cannot get pregnant from pre-cum. UNLESS you didn't clean your dick after the last time you released your god juice. Then pre-cum can carry said dried up juices into the girl and get her pregnant.
User avatar #66 to #44 - sedativechunk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Actually that's a VERY subjective topic. I took sexuality in college and one thing I learned in there is that most studies agree per-ejaculate can't get someone pregnant, although some say it does. That substance doesn't really contain the sperm or enough of it to get someone prego supposedly. The reasons for the condom are more for having safe sex.

Personally I think it is every mans responsibility to carry protection if they are dating someone no matter how serious or not. That way if something does go down you can be safe (and have the full experience rather than worrying about "pulling out").
User avatar #59 to #41 - lolollo
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Oooooor you can be abstinate, treat sex as something a bit more serious than just a hobby you share with a girl. and not have to worry about any of that ****?

Honestly, I'm happy dealing with the petty virgin jokes if it means I don't have to worry that my dick my fall off the next time I go to take a piss.
User avatar #79 to #59 - Sethorein
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
it's a lot more difficult than it sounds when you're drunk and some hot chick is all over you and your bros are shoving you into an empty room with a condom and a prayer.
User avatar #81 to #79 - lolollo
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
It helps when you find the "drunk chick" archetype unattractive and your friends all agree with you and you actually have self control.
User avatar #82 to #81 - Sethorein
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
... christ man you live on a different planet to me...

I mean, I get sober parties... but uhh... I dunno how old you are, but once you get to uni you've got to go to keggers/drunk house parties... You know... unless you're an engineer... then you just drink alone and cry a lot.
User avatar #84 to #82 - lolollo
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I'm 22. I took 90% of the chances I was given to go to keggers and get drunk between 18 and the beginning of the year (I turned 22 in February). You grow out of that **** dude. I didn't like who I was when I was drunk, so I made the adult decision to just have a drink when the situation arises.

Thank about it. It's typically loud, messy, crowded, hot, and any conversation anyone would want to have with you in that environment is just going to revolve around who they've ****** and what alcohols they've drunk. It's not fun, I don't care how much you've convinced yourself that it is, or society tries to convince me that it is.
User avatar #105 to #84 - Sethorein
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
You... have had a very different kegger experience to me... Seems the anti-booze squad has come to shower me with red thumbs though. Guess that's my cue to leave.

It helps if you go to the right keggers I guess. Drink with the right people.
User avatar #108 to #105 - lolollo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I do drink with the right people. We drink with the 4-5 of us and talk about meaningful topics that pertain to our lives and not ambiently listen to loud, repetative music at 150% what our speakers are engineered to play at with people we don't know ruining our furniture.
User avatar #109 to #108 - Sethorein
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
see those are the WRONG keggers. The right kind of keggers have enough mutual friends invited to make the keg worth the purchase (otherwise you just go BYOB houseparty). There's maybe 30 people and the music is in one room.

You meet new people or hang with your regular friends.

When randoms show up things usually go to ****, heh...
User avatar #110 to #109 - lolollo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
The problem is that the wrong keggers are the ones I'm told to enjoy.

It's probably more perpetuated by the lot who are only interesting in getting free booze.
User avatar #112 to #110 - Sethorein
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Ah, then **** keggers.

If you can't go to the right ones there's no point. Noisy, ******, douchey keggers with nothing but foam are a waste of time 'n money.

Scary fact though: my sister tells me about all the doctors she goes with to clubs. Suffice to say they get ****** up during their pre's. 22 year old medical school students. Gave me a chuckle...
User avatar #113 to #112 - lolollo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I know what you mean...my roommate is in his last year of his engineering degree. He's constantly playing into all of the **** college says should be fun, and I have to constantly remind him that he never has as much fun as he thinks he will at each and every one.

"I need to go to a football game!"
"Why?"
"Since it's my last year, I feel I've robbed myself of the college experience."
"Except that football games are cold, long, noisy, overpriced, and a huge pain in the ass whether you drive or walk. That and you don't even like football."
*after the game*
"How was it?"
"Meh..."
"Told you..."
User avatar #114 to #113 - Sethorein
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Though doom 'n gloom aside, current generation has got a lot going for it. ah... here's the video www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SfcGmEVuBY

Buncha uplifting statistics I remind myself of whenever I wonder how our generation is doing...
User avatar #130 to #59 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Oooooooooor, you can actually practice safe sex instead of wasting your youth.
User avatar #133 to #130 - lolollo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Isn't time wasted/enjoyed a completely personal, and subjective thing?

Or, what, anyone who's not spending their time the way you'd spend your time wasting their time?
User avatar #140 to #133 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Well, if you enjoy being abstinent then more power to you, but you will never be as virile or attractive as you are in your youth, and spending that time not enjoying your and other's bodies in their prime seems like a waste to me. It's like having a pretty bowl of fruit, appreciating its beauty, but letting it rot because you don't want to eat the fruit and ruin the beauty. The beauty will be wasted regardless, so you might as well get the best of both worlds, if that makes any sense to you.
User avatar #141 to #140 - lolollo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I don't give a **** if you, or anyone else wants to have sex. The secondary point to what I said was that you're not allowed to bitch and moan if that **** happens to you after sex.

"I'm so young and virile, it'd be a waste not to do anything about that!"
"I'm pregnant..."
"**** I'm too young for this **** what the ****!"
User avatar #143 to #141 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
You quite literally can't get pregnant with a condom and hormonal birth control, and it's even lower if you don't ejaculate while penetrating the woman, even with the condom. Getting pregnant is their own damn fault. STDs are likewise near impossible to get with the proper precautions of monogamy and STD testing prior to any sexual contact with a new partner. Abstinence to avoid those things was a wise move 200 years ago, but there are other options now.
User avatar #145 to #143 - lolollo
Reply -4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
"You quite literally can't get pregnant with a condom"

A wee bit optimistic, no?
User avatar #148 to #145 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
>You quite literally can't get pregnant with a condom and hormonal birth control
You cut out the important second half.
User avatar #149 to #148 - lolollo
Reply -4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
That's still optimistic.
User avatar #157 to #149 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Not if you understand statistics and use condoms with spermicide lubricant.

Effectiveness of combined hormonal birth control: 99.8% when properly used.
Effectiveness of condoms: ~98% when properly used.
Effectiveness of spermicide: ~85% when properly used.

Basic stats: 1/99.8 + 1/98 + 1/85 = .01% chance of pregnancy, assuming about 250 acts of intercourse a year, not counting Plan B in case of condom failure. So no, not optimistic in the slightest.
User avatar #160 to #157 - lolollo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
"You quite literally can't"

Except that yes, you can...with a small percent chance, but the more accurate statement was that you quote literally CAN get pregnant, even with all of that. Saying something can't happen in the face of any statistic that isn't 0% is just ignoring the true statistic.

It makes it where the significant;y small statistic smacks you in the face, and then you're just pissed off.
User avatar #161 to #160 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Okay, you took my figure of speech a little too literally. Yes, there is a small possibility that it can happen, but the chances of it are so small that they are negligible in real life and are not worth worrying about.

Abstinence isn't 100% effective either. The Virgin Mary got pregnant, after all, and there are a large number of myths in which a woman gets pregnant while still a virgin.
User avatar #167 to #161 - lolollo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
That would also be an unscientific statistic.

Besides, the idea behind abstinence is that you treat sex with more respect than you would any other hobby. There's some serious, life altering **** that can go wrong with sex. Abstinence takes note of that and suggests you treat with respect as something you share with someone you're willing to spend the rest of your life with.
User avatar #169 to #167 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
True, but you can't say for certain that abstinence is 100% effective, especially if you think about manual or oral sex or mutual masturbation in which sperm accidentally enters the vaginal canal.

Of course I treat it with more respect than any other hobby, since no other hobby I have can give me a horrible disease or an unwanted child, unless the rock wall I'm climbing spawns an Earth baby imbued with the power of our planet. In that case, however, I'd be pretty stoked rather than worried. However, many hobbies can have serious, life altering **** that can go wrong. I can get lost or die while backpacking. My equipment can fail while climbing. I can get hit in my car and be crippled. Everything has an element of risk; avoiding any activity that has a small amount of risk means that you're going to miss out on a lot of enjoyable experiences in life.
User avatar #172 to #169 - lolollo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
There'd also be an argument over whether any of that actually counts as abstinence...
User avatar #176 to #172 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Well, abstinence only means "restraining oneself from something", so it would vary from person to person.
User avatar #54 to #41 - picklesand
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Using two condoms can make them more likely to break because of the friction between them
User avatar #220 to #54 - cocoman
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
So just to be safe use 3
User avatar #11 - adu
Reply +72 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
You can't lose your virginity to a couch any more than you can your own palm, you spastic.
#8 - epodax
Reply +53 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
If only there was a site where I could read these.... OH WAIT.... /www.fmylife.com/
User avatar #9 to #8 - adu
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
Yeah cause it's not like 99% of the **** on here is taken from other sites, so let's just choose this specific one to point out.
#10 to #9 - epodax
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
I rarely see a comp like this from other sites <.<...
User avatar #12 to #10 - adu
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
tumblr, deviantart, myspace, facebook, twitter, miscellaneous webcomic sites, funfacts, wtffacts, all of those god damn button questions, etc. etc...
#14 to #12 - adu
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
Did I just say Myspace?
#13 to #12 - epodax
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
If you can find a MySpace comp then I'll eat my words O.o
User avatar #15 to #13 - adu
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
I'm actually stumped by that one myself. The rest are solid examples though.
#16 to #15 - epodax
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/21/2014) [-]
Thumb for you, it made me giggle like a little girl. And by giggle I mean scratch my very manly beard and wonder when the last time I ever saw myspace.
User avatar #61 to #8 - peanutsaurusrex
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
i love you
#187 to #61 - epodax
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Oh stop it you...
User avatar #52 to #8 - toosexyforyou
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
all of these jokes have probably been posted on funnyjunk before FML
#107 to #52 - cabbagemayhem
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
That is correct.
User avatar #118 to #8 - onewithpokerface
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
"If only there was a site where I could read tumblr posts... OH WAIT tumblr.com"

"If only there was a site where I could read funny youtube comments... OH WAIT youtube.com"

"If only there was a site where I could whine about someone taking funny content from a different site not everbody on here frequents, put it into a highlight compilation and post it on the internet. OH WAIT."
#106 - mastersaturday
Reply +37 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him   
   
I hope this person dies soon.  They should be cleansed from this earth.
I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him

I hope this person dies soon. They should be cleansed from this earth.
#124 to #106 - youratoyucantfly
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#136 to #124 - marcury
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
agreement bandwagon!
#138 to #136 - usarmyexplain
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
#185 to #138 - zaiopeperse
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#205 to #124 - thatguyontheright
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I agree
#35 - anon id: 07d0749e
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
To all the people who clicked "you deserved it" on the pulling out one: Go ******* kill yourselves. You are less than garbage, you are primordial scum unfit for recreation into anything other than more such trash.
User avatar #58 to #35 - StinkyCheese
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
"Don't be silly, wrap your willy!"
User avatar #87 to #58 - zacharlfreeman
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
"Don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy!"
User avatar #43 to #35 - fisttourface
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I couldn't understand how the wincest one was her fault either.
User avatar #89 to #43 - rhiaanor
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
it wasnt look again
User avatar #90 to #89 - fisttourface
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I mean that the people said she deserved it.
User avatar #92 to #90 - rhiaanor
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
most said she didnt
User avatar #95 to #92 - fisttourface
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
but 50k people said she did
User avatar #96 to #95 - rhiaanor
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
yeah but 500k is a lot more than 50k
User avatar #100 to #96 - fisttourface
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I'm not saying it isn't. I just wonder why 50000 people thought she deserved it
#199 to #100 - risenforce
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
"Trolls" I guess.
User avatar #39 to #35 - hoponthefeelstrain
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
he had sex with a stranger and didn't wear protection..
#67 - Javapenguin
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
mfw all these stories about girlfriends and boyfriends
mfw all these stories about girlfriends and boyfriends
User avatar #99 to #67 - inyerfase
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
one is a homeless person. feel better!!!
User avatar #146 to #67 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
You have pretty much a 50/50 chance of getting a really ****** one that makes you wish you were an asexual amoeba instead of making the mistake of being in a relationship with them, so don't worry about it.
User avatar #159 to #67 - capslockrage
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
Most of them are lies anyway
#117 to #67 - killerblue
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
You always have us
#128 to #67 - youratoyucantfly
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
i know that feel so well....
#72 to #67 - theonethatknew
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
#36 - ilbacondeity
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
I don't know why, but when I climax (and depending on how comfortable I am with my partner), I like to yell out

"DEY TOOKER JERBS.... TOOKER.... Dey... Dey took er... jerbs..." And roll over.
User avatar #209 to #36 - bitofacunt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2014) [-]
crying with laughter here haahahahhahaa ******* golden