F U. Pretty much. Yup.. University Asks Alumni For Donation Money. One Graduate Sends Back This Amazing Email. Dear University Alumni Office, I' m sorry to hear
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F U

Pretty much. Yup.

University Asks Alumni For
Donation Money. One Graduate
Sends Back This Amazing Email.
Dear University Alumni Office,
I' m sorry to hear that the university' s
million endowment has fallen in value to
million because of the recession and because
your bank died. I' m also sorry to hear that
you' re dealing with declining enrollment due
to the fact that families are no
longer willing or able to bet their homes on a
higher education for their
children. I really am.
So, what I want to know is, why are you
wasting money on glossy fundraising
brochures full of meaningless synonyms for
the word "Excellence"? And, why are you
sending them to ME? Yes, I know that I got a
master' s degree at your fine institution, but
that master' s degree hasn' t done jack **** for
me since I got it! I have been unemployed for
the past TWO YEARS and I am now a
professional , sending out
dozens of resumes a month to employers, and
the degree I received in your hallowed halls is
at the TOP OF IT and it doesn' t do a f** king
thing.
You know, maybe if you wanted a little bit of
money from me (and these days you' d get
about ) maybe you should send me a fancy
color brochure admitting your role in the
bubble economics that got us all in to this
mess.
For example, since 1987, higher education
expenses have gone up aso percent, while
personal income in this country has gone up
87 percent, making tuition IMPOSSIBLE to
afford without special financing. But, during
this time, you were thriving because people
could come up with the cash in two ways:
L Get a home equity loan and use the inflated
value of their house to pay for their kid to get
drunk at your school and then lose the house
when the market crashed.
2. Get a federal loan.
HAD IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT NEITHER OF
THESE SOURCES OF MONEY ACTUALLY EXIST?
THAT IT WAS BEING MANUFACTURED
BECAUSE YOU MADE PEOPLE THINK THAT
ONE OF YOUR DEGREES WAS NECESSARY TO
CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE BUBBLE?
Oh yes, federal loans. I' got , 000 of
those, which are in "forbearance" right now
because I' m unemployed, meaning that the
feds are paying the interest for a while, which
is convenient for me, but not for our
government which is now owned by China.
You know, the idea behind federal loans was
that it would allow more students to attend
your university, not let you INFLATE your
tuition to obscene levels! I mean, what the
f** k were you spending the , 000 per
semester on, anyway? I was in a public policy
program, so that meant we got to sit in
classrooms and listen to Professor God up at
the front of the lecture hall glorify Himself and
Creation as He saw it and talk about how
much smarter he was than anyone else and
how much he' d learned at MIT and the RAND
Corporation.
Really, that' s about all you did for us -- gave us
a lecture hall, gave us an arrogant bastard to
listen to, and gave us a room full of computers
we could use sometimes, and you gave us a
degree that employers look at and say "This
guy knows how to write reports. Amusing."
And I will be paying for this privilege until I am
SI years old.
So I' m sorry that the economy' s been rough on
you. Maybe, if you wanted to save a little
money, you could stop printing and sending
brochures to my parents' house (oh yeah,
that' s where I live because I can' t afford rent
on ANYTHING). And, maybe I' ll donate a little
bit of money to you in 2030, when I get the
loans for your imaginary education PAID OFF!
Sincerely you rs,
Alumnus
...
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Views: 56239
Favorited: 170
Submitted: 05/19/2014
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Comments(501):

[ 501 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - anonymous (05/19/2014) [+] (18 replies)
Or here's a suggestion don't get some dumb ass meaningless major and major in something practical.
#3 to #1 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [-]
Masters degree in computer science and new media.
took 5 years after graduation before I netted a job barely relevant to my degree.
Fist your own asshole anon.
#14 - hudge ONLINE (05/20/2014) [+] (20 replies)
Meanwhile, I was employed the day I graduated with a great wage for someone my age, because I went to a Tech school instead of forking over twice as much dough to get a degree in some saturated job market.

Go ahead and red-thumb me. My income doesn't give a **** .
#117 - accept (05/20/2014) [+] (16 replies)
Be me.   
>Son of cleaning lady and fabric merchant.   
>Have a 4 years master degree in industrial engineering.   
>Currently working on an additional 2 years masters degree in civil engineering.   
>Rough estimate: school hasn't cost me more than 3500 euro up until now, books included.   
>I'm not on a special grant program. If I were poor it would be even less, to the point where I might get money to study (to pay rent and expenses)   
>Visiting USA and have to explain this travesty.   
>MFW they call our nation as a whole bloodred left side socialist communists.
Be me.
>Son of cleaning lady and fabric merchant.
>Have a 4 years master degree in industrial engineering.
>Currently working on an additional 2 years masters degree in civil engineering.
>Rough estimate: school hasn't cost me more than 3500 euro up until now, books included.
>I'm not on a special grant program. If I were poor it would be even less, to the point where I might get money to study (to pay rent and expenses)
>Visiting USA and have to explain this travesty.
>MFW they call our nation as a whole bloodred left side socialist communists.
#151 - ompalomper (05/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
STRAP IN PEOPLE. IT'S TIME TO DISCUSS THE US EDUCATION SYSTEM AGAIN!!!
STRAP IN PEOPLE. IT'S TIME TO DISCUSS THE US EDUCATION SYSTEM AGAIN!!!
#4 - danster (05/20/2014) [+] (22 replies)
>owned by China
16% is a far cry from owned.
#28 - infinitereaper (05/20/2014) [+] (4 replies)
national debt of the U.S. 17 trillion+   
medical costs 2times+ more expensive than other developed countries for same quality care   
tuition, 50 years ago ivy leagues like Princeton cost 2000$ now they cost like 50,000$   
More than double when adjusted for inflation, though I'm sure there is better math on that.    
   
Basically we're America, so we're #1   
No one 						*****					 up freedom, democracy, and the future of our children like we do!
national debt of the U.S. 17 trillion+
medical costs 2times+ more expensive than other developed countries for same quality care
tuition, 50 years ago ivy leagues like Princeton cost 2000$ now they cost like 50,000$
More than double when adjusted for inflation, though I'm sure there is better math on that.

Basically we're America, so we're #1
No one ***** up freedom, democracy, and the future of our children like we do!
#63 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [+] (4 replies)
I dont see why Americans go to university, im 18 and have $25,000 in my bank so suck it yanks.
#92 to #63 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [-]
That's one hell of a allowance.
User avatar #62 - pandation ONLINE (05/20/2014) [+] (44 replies)
The school is not responsible for your employment. Despite the ridiculous faults with affording tuition, that's not completely their fault either. You need to get over it and stop venting your frustration at an institution that you earned your degree from, they didn't **** you over, you're inability to get employed for one reason or another is. The university did it's job, you do yours.
User avatar #64 to #62 - corso (05/20/2014) [-]
I'm pretty sure overcharging like that is considered ******* someone over.
#168 - vikdane (05/20/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Hahahahahahahahaha!
#58 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
"Owned by China"

Oh sweet ******* jesus the only people I hear say this are liberal arts majors and people that don't know what the hell they're talking about.

I imagine this guy is both.
#109 - paintplayer ONLINE (05/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
>mfw I made a deal with the Army devil and they're paying my tuition and giving me a solid job for the next 8 years while all I have to do is not die overseas
>mfw I value financial "independence" over my own life because I'm a product of today's money-grabbing societal brainwashing
>mfw I'm drunk and probably won't care about this tomorrow but I'll put forth whatever "insight" I have now and deal with it in the morning
#86 - Steinwolf (05/20/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Solution to this is simple - don't get a degree that's easy or popular. Universities don't make their money from engineering students or physicists - they make their money off the hoards if people who want to study the social sciences. (and anything that ends with "- studies")   
   
If you had a degree in something like comp-sci - that piece of paper they hand you at the end of your education is actually worth something to potential employees.   
   
If You are interested in psychology, politics, philosophy etc. - just check the uni's curriculum for the year and study it at home for free. Write essays on those subjects as they would in the uni - then sell them to lazy students who actually enrolled.
Solution to this is simple - don't get a degree that's easy or popular. Universities don't make their money from engineering students or physicists - they make their money off the hoards if people who want to study the social sciences. (and anything that ends with "- studies")

If you had a degree in something like comp-sci - that piece of paper they hand you at the end of your education is actually worth something to potential employees.

If You are interested in psychology, politics, philosophy etc. - just check the uni's curriculum for the year and study it at home for free. Write essays on those subjects as they would in the uni - then sell them to lazy students who actually enrolled.
#230 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [+] (7 replies)
TFW I paid 175$ for College this semester
User avatar #236 - mrgoodlove (05/20/2014) [-]
So.... no then?
User avatar #305 - mrtwilightsparkle (05/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Forgive me, but if this college was so ridiculous to him, why did he stick around long enough to get his masters? Seems a little stupid to me.
#258 - lulzdealer (05/20/2014) [+] (10 replies)
#429 - parman (05/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Didn't read it all but is he just whining that his degree in probably some ****** meaningless field didn't get him a job?

I very much doubt that this was written by someone with degree in engineering or some actually useful and perspective field.
#433 to #429 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [-]
Nope, he explains how college basically helped in the forefront of ******* up the economy, called them out on their ******** , and goes "your degree doesn't help for **** , now that the economy has tanked. **** you for asking for more money, asshats."
User avatar #172 - bothemastaofall (05/20/2014) [+] (8 replies)
Fun Fact: Both Harvard and MIT have programs to let you pay instate tuition, or less if you need it. 61% of MIT undergrads receive aid-based scholarships that don't need to be repaid. These are offered by the school. Over 80% of MIT undergrads receive scholarships. There are schools that only want to make money and rip you off, but there schools that will reward your excellence.
#208 to #178 - mummyslittlebitch (05/20/2014) [-]
Here's a thought experiment

> I throw a 40oz in front of 9 hobos and tell them to fight for it.
> I then scold the 8 losers afterwards for not trying hard enough.
> While technically not incorrect, I know damn well that not all 9 can get that hooch

so shut the **** up
#170 - anonymous (05/20/2014) [+] (10 replies)
I dont have a degree and I make 65k a year working on call

That money is given to me because im willing to work.

People with degrees in my industry have more flexibility and earn slightly more.

They dont have their job because of their degrees, they have them because they're willing to work and they are better compensated because of their degree and legally can take on tasks that have higher liability risks.

If you have a degree and dont have a job, its probably because you have a stupid ass degree or youre a lazy **** or some awkward ******* no one wants to be around.
User avatar #183 to #181 - alucaard (05/20/2014) [-]
Because we like to be judgmental pricks and we cant be as judgmental on faggots without an account
User avatar #10 - majordraco (05/20/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Tuition is rising because demand is so high, people are brainwashed into thinking they have to have a college education to succeed. While hundreds of thousands of skilled worker and trade jobs go unfilled.
#13 to #10 - bishyouwish (05/20/2014) [-]
A college education is sometimes necessary. For instance, if you were going into graphic design or video games (which I don't recommend, because there's, like...a bajillion OTHER people trying to get what few jobs are related to those subjects), you'll NEED college to learn the programming required for that sort of thing. But does it REEEALLY take a college education to be a writer?...Probably not. You'll learn to write better, sure. But your success is still entirely up to your own ability to be creative and tell a good story, and up to luck in general if people will like it enough to buy your book. Getting published is easy.
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