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Dying for some pizza yo'

eonly know two numbers
s and suicide hotline
call domino' s when feeling suicidal
ego? answering the phone doesn' t know what to do
coffers me a free pizza
wmm that kept my from killing myself that night
wmm domino' s does a than the suicide hotline
...
+1870
Views: 58968
Favorited: 64
Submitted: 08/27/2015
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12>
[ 67 comments ]
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65 comments displayed.
Reply
+412
User avatar #14 - moldybreadcrumb (08/27/2015) [-]
"Hello this is domino's, pickup or carryout?"
>i want to kill myself again
"Oh"
Reply
+24
User avatar #32 to #14 - suchusername (08/28/2015) [-]
I was feeling a little down today but you made me laugh, take a thumb
Reply
+52
User avatar #37 to #32 - moldybreadcrumb (08/28/2015) [-]
If you're feeling down, you should call Domino's
Reply
+16
User avatar #38 to #37 - suchusername (08/28/2015) [-]
Lets not relate fast food and happiness or i am going to die from at heart attack in 10 years
Reply
+35
User avatar #39 to #38 - moldybreadcrumb (08/28/2015) [-]
But you'll die


happy
Reply
+130
#18 to #14 - wisdomtooth (08/27/2015) [-]
"Pickup or carryout"

***** those are literally the same thing
Reply
+6
User avatar #20 to #18 - moldybreadcrumb (08/27/2015) [-]
They're/their confuse some people
It's/its confuse others
carryout & pickup/delivery confuse me
Reply
+1
User avatar #46 to #18 - TheBigGummyBear ONLINE (08/28/2015) [-]
Carry out is what is printed on the receipt which is the real term we use but we just say pickup because well, it's a better word for it.

Delivery is well, delivery. When we answer the phones we say "Top of the morning to ya cunt, pick up or delivery?"
Reply
+5
#53 to #46 - nikkadawgg (08/28/2015) [-]
I drive for Dominos, and i can confirm this is exactly how we answer the phone.
Reply
0
#57 to #53 - wisdomtooth (08/28/2015) [-]
I work for dominos too, it pisses me off more than anything when people place their order for "carryout" and call back and hour later complaining "Wheres my pizza? I thought it was going to be delivered"
I work for dominos too, it pisses me off more than anything when people place their order for "carryout" and call back and hour later complaining "Wheres my pizza? I thought it was going to be delivered"
Reply
0
User avatar #21 to #18 - neokun ONLINE (08/27/2015) [-]
I think carryout meant delivery.
Reply
+5
User avatar #28 to #21 - hurpfry (08/28/2015) [-]
Carryout means to carry the pizza out of the store. Pick up is going to the store to pick it up. They both mean the same thing.
Reply
+1
User avatar #36 to #21 - moldybreadcrumb (08/28/2015) [-]
THANK YOU! I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON CUNFUZZLED BY THIS ****
Reply
+431
#15 - vladi (08/27/2015) [-]
Next time, call the anti-suicide hotline.
Reply
0
User avatar #51 to #15 - dagreatmax (08/28/2015) [-]
Nu eto da bratan
Reply
0
User avatar #56 to #15 - Mortuus (08/28/2015) [-]
Weren't you a massive troll, like two months ago?
Reply
0
User avatar #66 to #56 - comraderoboto (08/28/2015) [-]
Who? Me? Naaah.
Reply
+31
#16 to #15 - isolovegames [OP](08/27/2015) [-]
... and then get shot by the police that respond. Yeah- okay.
Reply
+29
#23 to #15 - stepsword (08/27/2015) [-]
"No wait let me" - anti-suicide hotline person probably


pic related
Reply
+44
#33 to #15 - uncitelymanners (08/28/2015) [-]
You're right.
Reply
0
User avatar #40 to #13 - brutallyhonest (08/28/2015) [-]
i accidentally said 'penis' while reading it
Reply
+5
User avatar #48 to #40 - inomgod (08/28/2015) [-]
you know what that means...
Reply
+85
User avatar #34 - scarcrow (08/28/2015) [-]
>does better than suicide hotline
>never committed suicide
it's a draw
Reply
-4
User avatar #27 to #5 - laughable (08/27/2015) [-]
I hate emo music but this is so awesome
Sauce for ppl who don't get it Papa Roach - Last Resort (Uncensored and Lyrics)
Reply
+5
#54 to #27 - nikkadawgg (08/28/2015) [-]
>Papa Roach
>Emo music
Reply
-2
User avatar #60 to #54 - laughable (08/28/2015) [-]
Its literally a song about about cutting yourself and suicide. Half way through he just keeps saying "I'm crying". So yeah, emo music
Reply
0
#65 to #60 - kolya ONLINE (08/28/2015) [-]
Implying music about suicide is for emos
Reply
+51
#1 - mudkipfucker (08/27/2015) [-]
Pizzaweed pepperoni thepizzadevourer doyoulikeapizza vikingpizza crustypizza cheesepizza ipostcheesepizza ifreakinglovepizza pizzafacker pieceofpizza pizzabox hawaiianpizza lunchablespizza monapizza ninjapizza

pizza saves lives
Reply
+17
User avatar #6 to #1 - pizzaweed ONLINE (08/27/2015) [-]
add dirtypizza to the list
Reply
+16
#9 to #8 - pizzaweed ONLINE (08/27/2015) [-]
at first, I was excited with the outpouring of pizza accounts.




No, I'm worried.




I can't hold them back forever
Reply
+20
#10 to #9 - mudkipfucker (08/27/2015) [-]
soon funnyjunk will become pizzajunk
Reply
+25
User avatar #11 to #10 - pizzaweed ONLINE (08/27/2015) [-]
over my cold, improperly stored box
Reply
+3
User avatar #55 to #11 - pepperoni ONLINE (08/28/2015) [-]
Imagine it though, WE COULD BE KINGS!
Reply
0
User avatar #67 to #55 - pizzaweed ONLINE (08/28/2015) [-]
We were meant to be loved. not leaders
Reply
0
User avatar #64 to #55 - thesirofponies (08/28/2015) [-]
Sunrise Skater Kids - Pop Punk Pizza Party *DEMO VERSION* (feat. Patty Walters) POP PUNK *********** IN SIZE
Reply
+17
#19 - adviceweed (08/27/2015) [-]
If that's your entire repertoire of phone numbers, you're not really doing that much to help yourself, are ya'?
Reply
+4
#49 to #43 - mentlgen (08/28/2015) [-]
**mentlgen rolled user enslavedyouth **
This hero doesn't need to wear a cape.
Reply
+5
#50 to #49 - enslavedyouth (08/28/2015) [-]
Aww, you're too nice.
Reply
+23
User avatar #31 - psydoc (08/28/2015) [-]
Nobody has ever killed themselves while pizza is on the way.
Reply
+22
#7 - pizzaweed ONLINE (08/27/2015) [-]
Always there for you
Reply
+7
#25 - newdevyx (08/27/2015) [-]
Where i live, you can actually call someone an ambulance if they are threatening with suicide or if you have a reason to suspect that someone is going to commit suicide like if he or she talks like he's going to harm himself.

Or if you are feeling suicidal. Don't commit sudoku.
Reply
0
User avatar #41 to #25 - purdon (08/28/2015) [-]
Don't tell me what to do.
Reply
+10
#42 to #25 - bloodyrush (08/28/2015) [-]
Don't tell me what to do.
Reply
+11
#24 - daemonicdemeanor (08/27/2015) [-]
**daemonicdemeanor used "*roll picture*"**
**daemonicdemeanor rolled image**Want phone sex, but not pay two dollars a minute
Call suicide hotline, man answers.
Hang up, call again, man again.
Ask if there are any girls working there.
Lolwat? I don't know, probably.
Call again, breath female, probably whalebeast
It'll do.
Start crying, and pretending I'm sad.
She tries to make me feel better.
Paralyzing my pickle
Tell her I'm ugly, no girl wants me.
She assures me that there is someone for everyone.
Ask her if she would date me.
She says she doesn't live near me.
Tell her I'll fly there.
She can't do that.
See? nobody wants me.
Lol, what do?
She has boyfriend
Liar, you didn't a minute ago.
She tells me she's gay,
Nope
Finally break her, cum as she tells me she wants me.
Quit my fake sadness,
Say thanks, whore, hang up.
Call back every day until I get her again, repeat whole process more or less.
She catches on, calls me a pervert and hangs up.
Call one last time,
well, 12 last times.
Finally her.
Say remember me?
uhh... You
light firecracker and drop phone.
She thinks she killed me.
Never paid for phone sex.
Reply
+1
User avatar #45 to #24 - nowthatsedgy (08/28/2015) [-]
you're a ******* kike m8
as 4chan would say
Reply
+10
#26 to #24 - newdevyx (08/27/2015) [-]
MFW i read your comment.
Reply
-9
#2 - ryix (08/27/2015) [-]
If all it took was a pizza, you weren't really suicidal, just being a faggot.
Reply
+2
User avatar #12 to #2 - thefunnyside (08/27/2015) [-]
It's the thought that counts here. Knowing some random stranger cares enough to listen to your problems and even send you a pizza as a bonus is amazingly helpful.
Reply
+7
User avatar #3 to #2 - ninjeh (08/27/2015) [-]
or that he had a convo with the pizza guy on the phone that made him feel better and the pizza guy offered a free pizza to make him feel even better than that.
Reply
+7
#4 to #2 - muffinssnuffims (08/27/2015) [-]
As somebody who has had to be forcefully stopped from committing suicide - I cannot tell you how effective the whole "If you die, how will you eat food and play video games?" thing is short term.

You may continually ruin your life in the long term if you repeatedly fall back on that instead of being productive, but often the best things to force you to get out of bed or pull you away from the edge are base level instinct stuff, like needing to go to the bathroom or eating food.
Reply
0
User avatar #52 to #4 - scowler (08/28/2015) [-]
It's not being productive that should bother someone, it's what they're being productive for...
Reply
+6
User avatar #29 - iliekcereal (08/28/2015) [-]
went to domino's to try to make myself feel better the night after i broke up with my ex. by luck, they forgot to ask me to pay, so i got my pizza for free. i can confirm, domino's saves lives
Reply
+5
#58 - anon (08/28/2015) [-]
>Dominos does a better job than the suicide hotline

Implying the suicide hotline has failed to prevent you from killing yourself in the past.
Reply
+4
User avatar #22 - lionofthemountain (08/27/2015) [-]
whoever you are, wherever you are, thank you pizza hero.
Reply
+1
#59 - anon (08/28/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**kill yourself cunt
Reply
+1
User avatar #47 - blarghagh (08/28/2015) [-]
well, considering the fact that you were still alive makes this argument kind of null
Reply
0
User avatar #62 - therealchafrador (08/28/2015) [-]
Cool trick to get free pizza
Reply
0
User avatar #61 - Gandalfthewhite (08/28/2015) [-]
why do people call the suicide hotline? surely if they wanted to kill themselves they wouldn't call someone to convince them not to
Reply
0
#63 to #61 - anon (08/28/2015) [-]
Because not everyone who feels like they're going to kill themselves actually wants to kill themselves.
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