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User avatar #12 - josieabby (01/31/2014) [-]
I was taking a nice, hot, soapy shower when I noticed a nasty lump on my anus.
My doctor scheduled surgery to remove and biopsy the lump for a few days later.
I was positioned on the table like a triangle with my ass in the air.
The doctor proceeded to inject several Lidocaine shots into my anus in a circular pattern.
Shortly after, the doctor muttered something so horrible..."I'm going to need some duct tape."
One of the nurses returned with a roll of duct tape, and then the doctor said something you don't hear every day...."I'm going to use this duct tape so I can spread your buttocks apart to give me better access."
He attached one end of the duct tape to my right buttocks, pulled the tape tight, and wrapped the other end around the rail at the edge of the table that keeps you from falling off. He did the same thing to my left buttocks.
So now, my ass is pointing straight up in the air and spread apart, so anyone who wanted to could have played a challenging round of golf with it.
He injected about 20 more Lidocaine shots around the lump then simply cut the lump off.
Turns out it was a benign tumor with no complications.
Thank God for duct tape.

(True story, but not mine.)
#57 to #12 - evilhomer (02/01/2014) [-]
MFW reading the story
User avatar #42 to #12 - twothreefivefive (01/31/2014) [-]
And then they have to rip off the duct tape.
#31 to #12 - xcoreyx (01/31/2014) [-]
> "I"
> "my"
> "True story, but not mine."
#54 to #31 - redscorp (01/31/2014) [-]
have you ever heard of copypastas?
User avatar #88 to #54 - jacksipian (02/01/2014) [-]
he probably also thinks that there are thousands of Navy SEALS with 300 confirmed kills, have performed secret raids on al queda, and can wipe people out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before.
#139 to #88 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
ooor it just sounded silly. there are often user stories in the comments, and it sounded like one until that last line.
User avatar #24 to #12 - thelastamerican (01/31/2014) [-]
I'm filing this away in my brain under the, "Information relevant to ductape." Maybe it'll be useful if I someday have to perform impromptu surgery on someone in the back of my car.
User avatar #32 to #24 - perform (01/31/2014) [-]
What the **** is going on here.
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