dog hacks
LIFE HACKS FOB DOGS
Sometimes your owner will make the motion of
throwing a tennis ball, but will not actually have
thrown anything.
STILL CHASE AFTER THE NONRESISTANT BALL.
Pretty good chance you' ll find an old ball around
the area anyways maybe.
When your owner is rubbing your belly and saying
Who' s a good dog'?", do NUT puke on the rug or bite
them for no reason. If you refrain from these natural
impulses, they will say "You are!" (referring to you)
Think you can only eat food once?
THINK AGAIN.
Once you poop out your food, eat the poop.
The best part? The poop tastes even better
than the original food.
Have sex with a stranger dog at the dog park. Why?
Here' s what you' ll get:
Car ride (BARK YEAH!)
Get handled by a person in a white coat (DOUBLE
BARK YEAH!)
Beta weird cone over your head, which amplifies
your barks (TRIPLE BARK YEAH!)
Also, your dick will hurt like **** and you won' t ever
feel like doing settim again, but whatever - who' s got a
cool cone now’? That' s right - it' s you, bud!
Just bark a whole bunch for no reason. People
will pet you and give you REAL BACON from that
box that says Beggin Strips on it.
Tired of your regular water bowl? The humans
have an infinite water bowl that they call "the
toilet.” Be warned though: once you' tried it,
it' ll be hard to go back to water without the light
delicious hint of .
Bury your treats in the backyard. That way when
you want to eat them later, they will have that
dirt and grass tang" that we all love in our food.
When it' s thundering outside, here' s a tip: hide
under a table or bed and bark a bunch. This is
100% guaranteed to scare the thunder away.
estimate time for thunder to stop: f minute - 8 hours)
Sometimes your owner will make the motion of
throwing a tennis ball, but will not actually have
thrown anything.
STILL CHASE AFTER THE NONRESISTANT BALL.
Pretty good chance you' ll find an old ball around
the area anyways maybe.
When your owner is rubbing your belly and saying
Who' s a good dog'?", do NUT puke on the rug or bite
them for no reason. If you refrain from these natural
impulses, they will say "You are!" (referring to you)
Think you can only eat food once?
THINK AGAIN.
Once you poop out your food, eat the poop.
The best part? The poop tastes even better
than the original food.
Have sex with a stranger dog at the dog park. Why?
Here' s what you' ll get:
Car ride (BARK YEAH!)
Get handled by a person in a white coat (DOUBLE
BARK YEAH!)
Beta weird cone over your head, which amplifies
your barks (TRIPLE BARK YEAH!)
Also, your dick will hurt like **** and you won' t ever
feel like doing settim again, but whatever - who' s got a
cool cone now’? That' s right - it' s you, bud!
Just bark a whole bunch for no reason. People
will pet you and give you REAL BACON from that
box that says Beggin Strips on it.
Tired of your regular water bowl? The humans
have an infinite water bowl that they call "the
toilet.” Be warned though: once you' tried it,
it' ll be hard to go back to water without the light
delicious hint of .
Bury your treats in the backyard. That way when
you want to eat them later, they will have that
dirt and grass tang" that we all love in our food.
When it' s thundering outside, here' s a tip: hide
under a table or bed and bark a bunch. This is
100% guaranteed to scare the thunder away.
estimate time for thunder to stop: f minute - 8 hours)
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