So I work in a pet store, and the majority of our customers are fairly normal, but we get some pretty strange people, and some even stranger questions. Hope some of them make you smile. "How do you make a ferret?" I really didn't know how to respond to that one, which was asked by a grown woman
" Does it bite?" Anything with teeth can bite ya. Yes that includes the hamster you're making increasing angry.
" Do you take the snakes' teeth out?" No we do not, that would kill them because they need teeth to eat.
" Do you touch the snakes?!?!" No I move them by my telekinetic powers.
" IS THAT A RAT?!" No ma'am that's a (guinea pig, rabbit, hamster, chinchilla, etc.)
"Do the fish need water to live?" Yes, that's a must.
"I bought a guinea pig yesterday." Ok? "Well what do I do with it?" Sir? "Can I pick it up?" yes Sir, you can.
" Do you sell the Geico gecko?" No Sir. "Well what about those mini giraffes?" No as well.
" How much does this cost at Walmart?" I don't know ma'am. (and even if I did I wouldn't tell you).
"How do you tell if it's a boy?" (I point at testicles)
"If I get this (insert name of animal here) do I have to feed it?" Yes, everyday. or it will die.
" Can a put a collar and dog tag on my hamster?" Negative.
"No it's ok, I don't need a cage, my new guinea pig is just going to live in a shoe box." (takes back guinea pig) Ma'am if you do that it'll die in a week.
"I get a discount, right?" No. (Just because we're not a chain doesn't mean we can just change prices for you willy-nilly. This a store, not a yard sale)
"My animal has (insert ailment or symptom here) what do I do?" take it to a vet!! (I hate this one because more often than not, they'll say they don't want to spend the money on a vet and just want a cheap fast fix)
And last but not least, "I want that Nemo fish." when the people have NO idea how to even start up a salt water tank or how much it'll cost them. "