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Do and Don't

I appreciate you taking the time to view the content I uploaded
If you want to, send a friend request my way. I accept them all!

Dress to Impress! Wear that hoodie.
Give the interviewer Lay your limp hand in
a firm handshake. the interviewers, then
cough nervously.
Bring a copy of your Spend five minutes
resume that you trying to find your
printed on the good resume on your
paper that cost extra. cracked iphone.
Use "buzzwords" Talk about being a
to impress the little buzzed with the
interviewer. interviewer.
Embellish your Give an open and
positive qualities honest report of your
and mastery of the skills and experience.
required skills.
Lie wildly about the Reveal your actual
legitimacy of that GPA.
unconformable
internship" you
had last summer.
Laugh at the Make a parting joke
interviewer' s and ask when you' ll
parting joke and hear from the
say you look interviewer.
forward to hearing
from him.
Get the job.
...
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Views: 44374
Favorited: 82
Submitted: 07/27/2014
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User avatar #1 - chimpaflimp (07/27/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Is this just a ****** Buzzfeed video that's been condensed into an even ******** comp?
#18 - angelusprimus (07/27/2014) [+] (37 replies)
As somebody who DOES interviews for a tech firm let me give you an advice. I do the first round of interviews to weed out people who are completely wrong, and send "maybe" and "yes" lists to the Boss who makes the final decision. Maybe means "they can do the job, but not a great fit for us" and yes means "I like this one, pick this one" but Boss has the final say.

1: Coming in looking like a hobo, dirty and stinky will get you out of running. Wearing a suit will more likely put you on the "maybe list", we are a tech firm not a law office. Wear something clean, tidy and casual. Shirt with a math joke on helps.

2: Its 21st century and we are a tech firm. Bring your resume on a usb stick. Or better yet send it to me by email, so I have time to flip through it before we talk.

3: Absolutely do not embellish skills. Seriously, if you can't do what you told us you can you are out on your ass during the trial week, and we will never consider you again.

4: Real internships are easily checked. If you make one up its obvious. It sends you directly to the "no list".

5: Do laugh at the joke, everyone likes to think of themselves funny.

User avatar #3 - mcmanybucks (07/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Id rather be a homeless bum than lie about myself and my skills to get a job..
#7 to #3 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/27/2014) [-]
I think you'll get that wish.
User avatar #21 - nigalthornberry (07/27/2014) [+] (11 replies)
If you get the Interview you're most likely getting the job if it's entry, Except for me I applied at a grocery store and a few things happened

The Interviewer had a limp handshake
His First Comment was "Oh you're white"
Last was "We wouldn't like a "Normal person" to work here we like Diversity"
#23 - spidurman (07/27/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#31 - fagnut (07/27/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Wait what   
   
They're twins? Or is it just one guy.
Wait what

They're twins? Or is it just one guy.
#130 - capinsquiggles ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
I work stock at a dollar store

Me: "I can lift boxes"
Boss: "How good?"
Me: "Very"
-hired-
#28 - zoopityzop (07/27/2014) [-]
making OC
#57 - jmoneyswagj (07/27/2014) [-]
**jmoneyswagj rolled image** what I do at interviews
**jmoneyswagj rolled image** what I do at interviews
User avatar #100 - serterazi (07/27/2014) [-]
I thought they are the same person all along.
#2 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Or just work for yourself? **** working for some moron drone who can't tie his own tie.
User avatar #26 to #2 - joshofsouls (07/27/2014) [-]
Careful with that edge, you might cut your finger or something.
#132 - thelastelephant ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
When I'm honest about my skills, get the job, and realize I may have accidentally lied about said skills.
#82 - theplatypusfarm (07/27/2014) [-]
Can you stop posting old Collegehumor posts I am getting really sick of this.
User avatar #136 - colourandshape (07/28/2014) [-]
THEY WEREN'T' THE SAME PERSON?!?!
User avatar #108 - itumblr ONLINE (07/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
the funny thing about this is that if it was a woman she wouldn't get the job either way
#111 to #108 - kingderps (07/27/2014) [-]
She would if she showed enough boobage!!!! Women are just pieces of meat to be objectified. HAHAHAHAHA Men rule!!!!!!!!!!!!
#87 - casinoer ONLINE (07/27/2014) [-]
User avatar #86 - fyaq (07/27/2014) [+] (10 replies)
>Says kids who haven't padded their resumes with volunteer work and entry level jobs, learned applicable skills, have no idea how to use MSoffice programs effectively, and apply for high end office work.
User avatar #16 - sciencexplain (07/27/2014) [-]
I like this one better, personally:

Dawson Bros. Funtime: "Job Yourself"
User avatar #29 - chaossniper (07/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
why should i lie in a interview i find that revolting
if i were to interview someone to work for/with me i want a mutual trust
User avatar #34 to #30 - wthree (07/27/2014) [-]
Embellishing facts is a bad idea, but streamlining them is.
User avatar #19 - mrselfdestruct (07/27/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Are these the same guy?
They look eerily similar
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