Daylight Savings. Damn, even with daylight savings, my record is only an hour. ASTER Hill " "bullit. Ok guys just so everyone is clear the joke is that he lasted 30 seconds but with daylight savings time went forward an hour. Hence an hour and 30 seconds. I fel sex hour daylight nightlight aesop Rock
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[ 73 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #1 - larrynonymous
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
How do I stay in the fine vagine for longer?
#2 to #1 - astarothaufromage
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
Thick condom, changing positions and well you might try to think of something else than sex but the affects your.. perfomance, plus it doesn't feel like a good thing anymore ya know? Also, I don't know what the **** OP is talking about with a whole hour man. That must include foreplay, a lot of it. 8 straight minutes of actual sex while keeping some momentum is already hard enough.
User avatar #3 to #2 - mrgoodlove [OP]
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
The title, man
#6 to #3 - astarothaufromage
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
Yeah I'm a retard at times
User avatar #5 to #2 - larrynonymous
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
fank jew m8 now I can stay in vagine.
#62 to #1 - trustust
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I just slow down when I feel I'm about to cum.
or get a little bit drunk
#58 to #1 - ohmygwad
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
don't cum lol
#43 to #1 - froggets
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Think about stuff like this
Think about stuff like this
#69 to #43 - anon id: dea52ba0
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
That's only going to make me cum quicker.
User avatar #70 to #69 - froggets
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Hate to bring it to you, but unless you're gay.... you're pretty much gay in your mind
User avatar #29 to #1 - vancecore
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Glue.
User avatar #4 to #1 - mrgoodlove [OP]
Reply +74 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
I don't know, but some advice to get into a vagine don't call it a vagine
User avatar #36 to #4 - tonkkax
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
ok, how can i stay in the vagoo for a longer time?
#47 to #36 - crackedpepper
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Heard a tip from an old friend of mine, he told me that the trick to staying in longer involves something called the "old lickaroo". take from it what you will
User avatar #55 to #36 - thehardcorechimp
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Stop every ten minutes then fist her
User avatar #39 to #36 - propanex
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
That's the ticket.
User avatar #16 - justaperson
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Ok guys just so everyone is clear the joke is that he lasted 30 seconds but with daylight savings time went forward an hour. Hence an hour and 30 seconds. I felt like there was some confusion going on down there. I'm looking at you applescryatnight
#17 to #16 - applescryatnight
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hah. thats clever
User avatar #21 to #16 - douthit
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Ah, I didn't get that.
User avatar #38 to #16 - nightmareschild
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
mrgoodlove sticky this.
User avatar #42 to #38 - mrgoodlove [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Don't tell me what to do
#66 to #16 - afghanautopilot
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Great now I feel like an idiot for thinking "good for him" I want my thumb back!
Great now I feel like an idiot for thinking "good for him" I want my thumb back!
#22 - GEARBOY
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I have this wierd disorder where it is almost impossible to ejaculate during sexual intercourse. I have no problem ejaculating during masturbation but never in bed (despite even trying with different women and  no it's not my penis size either, I have a healthy 5.7-6 inch or so )   
   
My 'first time' lasted 4 hours.....   
   
No I didn't ejaculate - I was so exhausted that 'I' faked an orgasm - just so I could go get a drink. Does anyone else have this problem? Or know how to fix it?
I have this wierd disorder where it is almost impossible to ejaculate during sexual intercourse. I have no problem ejaculating during masturbation but never in bed (despite even trying with different women and no it's not my penis size either, I have a healthy 5.7-6 inch or so )

My 'first time' lasted 4 hours.....

No I didn't ejaculate - I was so exhausted that 'I' faked an orgasm - just so I could go get a drink. Does anyone else have this problem? Or know how to fix it?
#67 to #22 - afghanautopilot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
The few times I brought a girl home from a bar I've had the same issue. But I think that it's mainly because I'm drunk out of my mind. And I give up after like half an hour or so because my abs and stamina are non-existent.
User avatar #68 to #22 - jibb
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I had that, but it just fixed itself
User avatar #28 to #22 - wacemindu
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
try going slower during sex and not going all the way in, just the first couple of inches so to speak, sex is typically much faster than masterbation (i find anyhow).
I had a problem cumming the first few times with my gf, but I think that was mostly down ot nerves.
User avatar #23 to #22 - mrgoodlove [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
That could be delayed ejaculation or something along those lines.
User avatar #37 to #22 - nightmareschild
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
This... Doesn't sound like a problem.
.
..
Nevermind, just did some research, seems to have its bad spots. Still, be happy you don't quick shoot or something.
#46 to #22 - anon id: 2d5799d7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I recently found out I had a similar problem, but mine was worse, I had the opportunity to have sex 3 times with 3 different girls in the past year but I couldn't get it up no matter what, I really didn't feel aroused with them,it was completely embarrassing, I'm not gay,I'm only 23 and I really like women so I didn't know what the fck was happening,so after searching for a while it turns out I have porn induced ED. Which make sense because from many years of watching porn, my brain got used to watching naked women, I wasn't really turned on by regular porn anymore, I had to watch more hardcore and weirder stuff to turn myself on. Luckily they say it's reversible, all you have to do is cut off porn and mast. completely and probably around 3 - 6 months your brain rewires itself again. I'm on day 60 so far. Hopefully by reading this some of you who may be close to experiencing this, stop now before the same thing happens to ya.
User avatar #59 to #22 - YoursTruley
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
im sorry, i wish i remembered the disorders name. best thing to do is see a sexologist (psych doctor) it is probably psychological.
User avatar #71 to #22 - ZenMacros
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I have the same problem, but I knew right away that it was because I was desensitized. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 (I'm 21 now) and I didn't ejaculate my first time, and I even avoided fapping for over two weeks prior. When I did ejaculate the next time (which was the next night) barely anything came out.

All those years of fapping caused me to become so desensitized to it. Even though a vagina/mouth feels a million times better than my hand, I'm still too used to the tight grip of my hand.

A few more tries and I finally was able to ejaculate a good amount, but it still took a lot of effort to do it at all. My advice would be to have you and your partner do as many things that turn you on as you can. It'll cause a mental stimulation that'll add to your physical stimulation. Worked for me.
User avatar #74 to #22 - berserkilr
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
i had that problem, and can be annoying sometimes, since you "enjoy" but don't get to finish if you get exhausted. Normally, when you have a gf, suddenly you don't masturbate as often. Use that as an advantage not to masturbate for longer periods of time. The problem can be that the grip of your hand can press more than a some vaginas, and your penis gets used to that. Being at the stage of watching "weird" porn also affects, so quit that **** and jerk to classic good old porn if you get a raging boner. Another thing that helped me was finding "that position" during intercourse and using it when close to the end, without changing position, since when you do, sometimes you lose part of the (excitement?) and it's like starting all over again. Never tell you gf it's a problem, be proud of your timings, but don't act all macho. Last thing: if your gf keeps telling you to finish tell her to shut the **** up because it doesn't help.

Sorry for writing half the bible here, and also for bad english
User avatar #75 to #74 - berserkilr
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
also doing it without condom helps a lot, but that's at you own risk
User avatar #25 to #22 - kanduhuskedetder
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Yeah, I actually have the same problem. And all the chicks go "Why don't you ever cum? Don't you find me attractive?"

Exactly the same. I have no problem with ejaculating by masturbation either.
I have this theory that it might be connected to my problem urinating in public. Ruins festivals, man
User avatar #34 to #22 - BlahDude
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Same problem, I've very rarely been able to finish during intercourse, end up faking it with my gf most of the time. We've both only ever had sex with eachother, so she doesn't have enough experience to tell that I'm faking. However, I can pretty much make myself cum asap when I masturbate.
User avatar #61 to #34 - YoursTruley
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
like i suggested to the other guy, go see a psychologist . these things are usually subconscious.
User avatar #35 to #22 - Hreidmar
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Likewise for me, except it applies to any sort of stimulation. It's gotten better with the years.

And on the bright side, I've never failed to please a woman. Though it comes at the cost of not being over the moon about the act myself.
#50 to #22 - englman
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I didn't read all of the comments, so I apologize if this is repeat information, but I believe you (and many others it would seem) may have "Retarded Ejaculation". It's essentially the opposite of "Premature Ejaculation." It could also be desensitization (or just 'being too used to your hand') but I would research both and see what you think personally. I'm pretty sure one of my best friends has this too. I wish I could tell you what helps it, but I don't know. I just remember this from my Universities Health class =/  but hopefully I at least gave everyone a step in the right direction.   
   
Gif to cheer the willies.
I didn't read all of the comments, so I apologize if this is repeat information, but I believe you (and many others it would seem) may have "Retarded Ejaculation". It's essentially the opposite of "Premature Ejaculation." It could also be desensitization (or just 'being too used to your hand') but I would research both and see what you think personally. I'm pretty sure one of my best friends has this too. I wish I could tell you what helps it, but I don't know. I just remember this from my Universities Health class =/ but hopefully I at least gave everyone a step in the right direction.

Gif to cheer the willies.
User avatar #65 to #22 - sciencexplain
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Get that checked. Either it isn't interesting enough for you, you were too nervous for your body to function properly like it should or you have a medical problem that needs attention.
#63 to #22 - anon id: cdbbf4cd
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
get a girlfriend.
had the same problem with my girlfriend at first.
But it got better after we were together for a while.
User avatar #60 to #22 - siberiantigershark
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I have the same problem. My girlfriend and I have had sex at least 10 times and I have yet to cum while inside her. It feels terrible after she is satisfied when she knows she hasn't satisfied me and she feels inadequate. I know it's a condition called "Retarded Ejaculation".

I've been working on never using my hand for masturbation, only using things like a fleshlight. I've had some success, I've cum when she gave me a handjob after sex. I'm still working on moving my body in the back and forth motion, it's kinda uncomfortable for me. Good luck man.
User avatar #53 to #22 - imofcnotharveydent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I didn't have exactly that problem, but having her on top did it for me tho. I lasted about an hour and a half my first time so I feel you
User avatar #48 to #22 - BraindeadBuddha
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Wow, didn't realize this many people had same experience as me.
Personally I've never gone much more than 2 hours before giving up though, I'm a lazy sod and a smoker so I run out of breath fairly quickly, 2 hours still plenty to please though, so that's nice at least.
User avatar #44 to #22 - turboderp
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Heh know the feel man..

My gf is kinda cool so we bought osme sextoys, found out having a vibrating buttplugg was awesome, and makes me cum.. hm, got me thinking.. Figured out I'm not gay tho, becasue I don't get araused by boys/men.. Try it out, it's awesome.
User avatar #45 to #44 - turboderp
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
To those who says "damn u be lucky u goin macho bedtime manlyness yess"

No. It's a gift. Most girls will lose confidence, and ask questions, it's just annoying.
Tho it is fun to have sex for hours sometimes, it can be a real pain sometimes..

For whoever have this problem, be open and honest about it.. it really helps when your gf (or bf if you prefear that) knows how it is etc..
#40 to #22 - poorfaag
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
find a harder bed, soft beds is **** to have sex in.
try stop fapping just a week before sex ( if you are planing getting some)
lots of different positions dude.
User avatar #33 to #22 - dumdumduu
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Death Grip Syndrome?
User avatar #27 to #22 - mrmarcooler
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
If you feel locked up, try going to the toilet.
Actually, you should just do that as a precaution anyways.
I've had that issue a few times, and it got better when I emptied my bladders before continuing.
#30 to #22 - sylaz
Reply -7 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
yeah it's called being gay..
#57 to #30 - ohmygwad
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #54 to #30 - stonermatt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
the only funny reply gets downvoted. jesus. a thumb for you man.
User avatar #73 to #22 - eminater
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
My friend has this problem...you go to a doctor and the prescribe you some pills that make you more sensitive.
User avatar #24 to #22 - GEARBOY
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
**** you braveblue
#26 to #24 - braveblue
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
**** you too.
**** you too.
#49 - kewwu
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
did not know that it was a trend to carry stopwatches with you.
#7 - include
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/09/2014) [-]
Dat title, i see what you did there.
Dat title, i see what you did there.
User avatar #72 - zombygoast
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I've seen this picture four times and I just now got it.
#56 - ohmygwad
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
User avatar #51 - imofcnotharveydent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
whats the daylight saving thing??
User avatar #52 to #51 - imofcnotharveydent
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
nvm I googled it I feel kind of stupid now
#31 - kimjongfine
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
#20 - anon id: 2dca5483
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/10/2014) [-]
I work delivery, and we average well under 20 minutes most of the time for time on delivery. Last night I went out and had what should have been a 19 minute delivery, but registered in our system as a 79 minute delivery. My boss about shat herself
[ 73 comments ]
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