Dad-O-Vision
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Anonymous comments allowed.
111 comments displayed.
#115 to #87
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marmiteistasty (10/06/2015) [-] Not a problem homeslice.
addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/fukken-saved/
addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/fukken-saved/
#1
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Sperit (10/05/2015) [-] Why has no one Green Lit a TV show that Consisted of Dad Jokes and Dad things?
like Power tools and kids playing outside and **** dad's love
like Power tools and kids playing outside and **** dad's love
#46 to #1
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BerserkerMushroom (10/06/2015) [-] **** my dad says with had one season starring william shatner
#75 to #71
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thismustbeseen (10/06/2015) [-] IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. IT WORKS THE OTHER WAY.
You use the spoon in the cereal to dig with.
You use the spoon in the cereal to dig with.
#76 to #75
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jesusisagoose (10/06/2015) [-] but where is the big bowl? Or do you eat straight from the packet?
#112 to #110
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jesusisagoose (10/06/2015) [-] but still, without milk you don't get the good bones and calcium.
#5
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exoticdragonmaster (10/06/2015) [-]
The light in the car is actually illegal or something, something about being distracting to other drivers.
#56 to #55
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helterskeletor (10/06/2015) [-] I see the magazines like that that have "OMG HOLY **** THIS PERSON IS BROKE AND DYING" on the cover and just wonder why they can't just leave him/her alone.
#25
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scandalouszander ONLINE (10/06/2015) [-] as much as i hated doing chores and jobs around the house and wishing i would be left to my own devices, and still wish this i dont think i would just let me children sit there while i was working on something. part of me wants to say hell ya my kid can play all day i'll be the best dad ever.
then the other part says, how will they handle life? **** gets tough fast. i want to protect them, but right now i cant even protect myself. will i ever be ready? if i not, how can i expect to be responsible for another life? when will i grow up, as a kid they made it sound like a magic switch, one day you'll grow up but it doesnt work like that, its small steps over a long period of time every challange gets you a little closer to being ready. so the harder i am on them, the better they will be for it, but if im not careful i will teach them resentment of me, and of work, and possibly authority in general. and while they could be said to have strong character, it wouldnt be good character. how can i give them a happy carefree childhood, and ensure they wont struggle like i did in adolescence?
sorry to get deep on you guys heres a funny picture
then the other part says, how will they handle life? **** gets tough fast. i want to protect them, but right now i cant even protect myself. will i ever be ready? if i not, how can i expect to be responsible for another life? when will i grow up, as a kid they made it sound like a magic switch, one day you'll grow up but it doesnt work like that, its small steps over a long period of time every challange gets you a little closer to being ready. so the harder i am on them, the better they will be for it, but if im not careful i will teach them resentment of me, and of work, and possibly authority in general. and while they could be said to have strong character, it wouldnt be good character. how can i give them a happy carefree childhood, and ensure they wont struggle like i did in adolescence?
sorry to get deep on you guys heres a funny picture
#90 to #25
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anon (10/06/2015) [-]
I view parents who make their kids do chores as being generally lazy, so they get the kid to do stuff they don't want to while using the excuse of 'life experience'.
Just because your parents didn't force you to do the chores they should be doing, doesn't mean you won't know how to function in life.
It doesn't 'build character' and it doesn't 'teach you about life', it's literally only because they can't be bothered to do it.
When you grow up and move out you can do these things, even if it's just learned by having seen it, it's still auto pilot and like a switch, you do 'just know' how a vacuum works. Anything you struggle with has an instruction booklet and nowadays we have internet.
I was never made to do chores, I will never make my children do chores. They can be children when they're children, they have the rest of their lives to worry about chores.
If you want to actually teach your children things you have to encourage it when they show an interest, trying to force a child to learn something it doesn't want to or isn't interested in isn't going to work.
And if you actually want to teach your children something useful that will help in life, teach them money management instead of 'put clothes in washing machine'.
Just because your parents didn't force you to do the chores they should be doing, doesn't mean you won't know how to function in life.
It doesn't 'build character' and it doesn't 'teach you about life', it's literally only because they can't be bothered to do it.
When you grow up and move out you can do these things, even if it's just learned by having seen it, it's still auto pilot and like a switch, you do 'just know' how a vacuum works. Anything you struggle with has an instruction booklet and nowadays we have internet.
I was never made to do chores, I will never make my children do chores. They can be children when they're children, they have the rest of their lives to worry about chores.
If you want to actually teach your children things you have to encourage it when they show an interest, trying to force a child to learn something it doesn't want to or isn't interested in isn't going to work.
And if you actually want to teach your children something useful that will help in life, teach them money management instead of 'put clothes in washing machine'.
#145 to #90
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anon (10/06/2015) [-]
If they want to call it "life experience", then they should be doing it with their kid(s) to teach them a new skill. In the long run this is quite beneficial since it means you'll know how to do stuff yourself instead of blowing hundreds of dollars paying a "professional" to do it for you.
#104 to #25
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catburglarpenis (10/06/2015) [-] I do this to my wife because she's ******* spoiled.
"Brittany, you've read enough fanfiction, do the laundry."
To get ahead in life, you gotta do a little extra. You gotta put in a little more effort at the gym, or go for student council or join a sports team- the kind of **** that you put on resumes and scholarship forms. To get the big bucks, you gotta stay in school for like 8 years longer than everyone else so you can get an actual job. You gotta be employed at a hard company to work for, like the military or Boeing or Amazon. That's the only way you'll remain competitive in today's market. If you don't, one day you'll find your benefactors dead and your position replaced. It's entropy at that point.
So if she ain't gonna pull her weight, I'll pull it for her. She just has to free up my time by doing my chores, so I can do a little extra and pull in the big bucks.
"Brittany, you've read enough fanfiction, do the laundry."
To get ahead in life, you gotta do a little extra. You gotta put in a little more effort at the gym, or go for student council or join a sports team- the kind of **** that you put on resumes and scholarship forms. To get the big bucks, you gotta stay in school for like 8 years longer than everyone else so you can get an actual job. You gotta be employed at a hard company to work for, like the military or Boeing or Amazon. That's the only way you'll remain competitive in today's market. If you don't, one day you'll find your benefactors dead and your position replaced. It's entropy at that point.
So if she ain't gonna pull her weight, I'll pull it for her. She just has to free up my time by doing my chores, so I can do a little extra and pull in the big bucks.
#13
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demandsgayversion (10/06/2015) [-] Does anyone actually have the stereotypical dad? I feel like everyone thinks everyone else had the "white people on TV" life, but literally nobody has.
#60 to #13
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slenderhead (10/06/2015) [-] My dad is the same. He will literally drive to Mcdonalds in his pajamas, eat inside, and not give two ***** . He looks forward sleeping on the couch, so much to the point where he will tell me that I am sitting in "his spot" even when the couch has room for five people. He is the kind of guy who can take a joke then insult you right back. In the end he will still give you life advice so that you don't make the same mistakes he's made.
#31
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loonquawl (10/06/2015) [-] We're going to be parents in 6 months.
My husband has already begun practicing his dad jokes.
They're just, so bad..............
My husband has already begun practicing his dad jokes.
They're just, so bad..............
#10
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anon (10/06/2015) [-]
I can't wrap my head around how you could possibly fall asleep at the movies especially during those loud, epilepsy inducing films.
#32 to #10
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vorarephilia 
(10/06/2015) [-] Parents get tired watching their stupid little ***** , and a movie keeps them quiet and fed for 2 hours.
#34
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stealingbikes (10/06/2015) [-] As a dad I can confirm all but the bottom one
Any dad born after 1980 knows how to use a remote
Any dad born after 1980 knows how to use a remote
#66 to #34
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anon (10/06/2015) [-]
Exactly. If you don't know how to use your tv and remote you're basically not getting the full value of what you're paying for. I'm the only one in my house who can figure out how to DVR and watch on demand.
rant ahead Feel bad for my sister because she's a dumb **** but that's her fault for being a ******* idiot and if she did figure out how to use the remote she'd hog the best tv in our house. The ******* cunt hogged my friend's netflix after I let her use it and I had to get my friend to change it because it'd be ****** up for me to hog it with my sister instead of shooting him a heads up. My sister is so ******* dumb that she still watches tv in standard definition. Like bitch we're paying extra for HD what are you doing?
rant ahead Feel bad for my sister because she's a dumb **** but that's her fault for being a ******* idiot and if she did figure out how to use the remote she'd hog the best tv in our house. The ******* cunt hogged my friend's netflix after I let her use it and I had to get my friend to change it because it'd be ****** up for me to hog it with my sister instead of shooting him a heads up. My sister is so ******* dumb that she still watches tv in standard definition. Like bitch we're paying extra for HD what are you doing?
#146 to #84
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anon (10/07/2015) [-]
HD is only really necessary for movies, sports, PPV, and shows you really like. If whatever you're watching isn't one of those then I guess it doesn't matter. Personally I just click every button and search every menu during commercials. I'm no expert but I believe HD channels are standard ch1000+. If you want ch 5 in HD go to ch1005 and so on. Not all networks offer hd.
#16
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floran (10/06/2015) [-] I can relate to many of these, now I feel old ...and have a sudden need to build a grill
#93
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anon (10/06/2015) [-]
Two months into dad territory. I've survived for now but my chances are getting slimmer every day. Wild sheds from the north are scouting deeper into my territory everyday. My tamed deck is going feral again, it no longer can scare off other wild decks. Dad jokers howls are getting longer and louder every night messing with my head more and more.
I recently bought a new overpriced power drill just because it was with a free bag. Wizard of Castorama that I befriended last year warned me about theese urges and how dangerous they are. I didn't listen. Because of that I fixed a hinge of a wild shed's door last week. Of course it bit me and now I can't stop thinking about building sheds. Drinking gatorade and chewing smoked doritos helps but just for a while.
This is my last entry. Today in the morning I said to myself I want to play Dad Space on my Nintendo. There is no hope for me left.
....Bald spot appeared just an hour ago..... I covered it with a Makita hat....it only made it worse....
It's over. Goodbye.
I recently bought a new overpriced power drill just because it was with a free bag. Wizard of Castorama that I befriended last year warned me about theese urges and how dangerous they are. I didn't listen. Because of that I fixed a hinge of a wild shed's door last week. Of course it bit me and now I can't stop thinking about building sheds. Drinking gatorade and chewing smoked doritos helps but just for a while.
This is my last entry. Today in the morning I said to myself I want to play Dad Space on my Nintendo. There is no hope for me left.
....Bald spot appeared just an hour ago..... I covered it with a Makita hat....it only made it worse....
It's over. Goodbye.
#99 to #93
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anon (10/06/2015) [-]
FYI I really am 2 months into dad terrotory and I already totally renovated the house, fixed a ******* shed of all things and am thinking about a proper deck to make a safe space for the kid to play. I've bought: dremel mini angle grinder, new cordless drill, comfy track pants and random text tshirts. My cordless drill came wwithout a hat so I need to buy an angle grinder or chainsaw or sth. My jokes are just going downhill and I actually haven't played any games since mid spring. Windows 8 reduced me to a dad level of skill in IT area. This dad stuff is real.
#48
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thelauinator (10/06/2015) [-] turning a light on in a car while driving at night is actually horrible, I speak from experience. Can't see ****
#30
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anon (10/06/2015) [-] Goddamnit, I'm 22 in less than a month and all this **** except for the technology-related stuff applies to me
#42 to #30
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] I only just turned 21 two months ago and I'm feeling my dadness is coming through.
#120 to #62
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] I still don't know what thot means, I don't know if stank is a good or bad term, I don't even know what context cheeky nandos comes from.
#131 to #130
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] Nah man, snake has been used for quite a while, quite a lot of decades.
#134 to #132
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] Good point, I sure do wish I was single and could concentrate on my band and having flings instead of being tied down.
#136 to #135
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] Want the souncloud? I'm not the singer or anything, just the bassist, we got a lot more songs just the singer doesn't have much time to record much in his garage right now.
soundcloud.com/stalkinghawks
soundcloud.com/stalkinghawks
#138 to #137
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] Thanks man, each to their own, just played a gig in Cardiff Sunday night.
![Miles Malone - This is Our Time [HQ]](https://img.youtube.com/vi/CApfL0c8OwM/default.jpg)
#140 to #139
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] I've got plenty of music I enjoy that's not metal seeing as I don't listen to it that much, i used to but all the obvious teenage wannabe music.
#142 to #140
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savirleo (10/06/2015) [-] Chicago's suburbs
Started off with latin, then(what I called)white people music, hip hop during middle school, got into rock thanks to NFS Most Wanted. Got into metal in high school when a friend introduced me to Amon Amarth
Currently listen to melo-death/doom metal. This is one of the songs that got me into it
Started off with latin, then(what I called)white people music, hip hop during middle school, got into rock thanks to NFS Most Wanted. Got into metal in high school when a friend introduced me to Amon Amarth
Currently listen to melo-death/doom metal. This is one of the songs that got me into it
#143 to #142
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backupclover (10/06/2015) [-] Fair enough, nowadays I listen to anything that can make me fill chilled out, so that blackmill song is perfect for me.
#101
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catburglarpenis (10/06/2015) [-] > Sees dad napping
> Goes to change channel
> "I was watching that"
> mfw
> Goes to change channel
> "I was watching that"
> mfw
